Title: A Parody or Love (1/13)

Author: K Reese

Email Kaz @ KazRN@aol.com

Rating: Rated (R) for sexual content

Spoiler: Possibly hints at everything before Becomming

Feedback: Yes Please

Distribution: Certainly....just let me know, please

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: The characters of the following story are due

entirely to the creative genius of Joss Whedon. All Hail Joss. I take no

credit for them what so ever. The various songs belong to the artists who are

acknowledged individually.

Sumary: Buffy and Spike mingle

Chapter One

I call you, I need you, my heart’s on fire,

you come to me, come to me, wild and wired

(Knight & Chapman: The Best)

The main change in Buffy could be seen in her eyes.

Eyes that had once danced with love and happiness, were now cold and hard.

Not much else had changed. She was still beautiful, with a natural grace that

regularly turned the heads of the opposite sex. But the beauty stopped at her

eyes. The guys with the courage to “check her out” would back right off when

they stared into those cold and unfeeling eyes. Maybe something deep inside

of them realised that her soul was gone, that she was nothing but a walking,

talking empty shell of what she had once been.

Buffy’s soul had been taken by a vampire, but no puncture marks marred her

perfect

neck. The vampire who took her soul, had taken it with love.

Buffy was well aware that her soul was gone.....after all, she had been the

one who had packed up the remnants of her soul and locked it away where it

could never be hurt again. Somewhere deep in the recesses of Buffy’s mind was

a windowless locked room, which held her soul tightly from ever regaining its

hold on her.

At first it had been difficult.....occasionally Buffy would feel a “softening”

towards some individual, but she quickly stomped out those unwanted feelings.

Being “hard” became a habit and eventually a way of life......a way of life

that she embraced whole heartedly. Being hard meant never letting anyone get

close, and if no one was closeto her, then no one, including her, could get

hurt. Buffy figured it was a workable plan.

The Slayer pushed these thoughts from her mind, as she moved quietly along the

darkened streets of LA. She made a stunning sight for those who caught a

glimpse of her passage. Recently, she had taken to dressing completely in

black, the color suited her mood and felt comfortable to her. Tonight she was

dressed in a short black leather skirt, black crop top and jacket, with

leather boots to match. Her long golden hair fell freely around her shoulders

and stood out in stark contrast against her dark clothing.

Buffy glanced around as she walked. She no longer made it a point to look for

trouble, she really couldn’t be bothered with it, but occasionally the odd

vampire or demon would decide to come after her. This had been happening less

and less as the word had gotten around that Buffy now fought to inflict as

much pain as possible. If the imbeciles wanted a fight, she was more than

happy to give it to them, but they had to be prepared to pay dearly for

challenging her these days!

Buffy turned the corner out of the alley, and headed down one of the main

streets on the “bad” side of town. The street was heaving with night life.

Numerous bars and clubs lined the sidewalk offering just about anything the

depraved passerby could ever imagine. The sidewalks themselves heaved with

the undertones of humanity. Prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers just to name the

cream of the crop. Buffy passed them all by without thought. Her intended

destination was a dark little club that she had found shortly after arriving

in LA.

The atmosphere of this club was just about as far removed from that of the

Bronze, as Buffy could imagine. The Bronze had been a place to make friends,

be with friends, and to maybe even fall in love. The Tomb, however, was a

place to rock......a place to work out frustrations on the dance floor without

having the words love or friendship enter into the night! The Tomb didn’t

play love songs......it played rock and roll......and even when the odd love

song was played, Buffy was able to ignore the words and loose herself in the

hard beat of the music.

Buffy reached the door of the club and nodded a greeting to the bouncer on the

door who was busily arguing with a bunch of underage teenagers who were

desperately trying to convince the bouncer to let them in. Recognising Buffy

as a “regular”, the bouncer simply waved Buffy in without bothering to collect

the $5 cover charge. 'Jackpot', thought Buffy as she moved into the darkness

of the club, 'that money means an extra couple of drinks tonight lady'.

Buffy stopped just inside the entrance to the club and let her eyes adjust to

the gloom. Slowly she scanned the room, taking note of who was and was not

here. The dance floor was packed with people rockin to Tina Turner singing

“Addicted to Love”, bodies moved and gyrated in suggestive sexual patterns as

the dancers moved to the strong beat, completely oblivious to those around

them. Buffy felt her own body begin to move in time to the beat, but before

she head out to the dance floor, there was something she needed to take care

of.

Walking up to the bar, she squeezed herself in between two bar stools and

flashed a note in the bar tender’s direction.

“Hey Buff....going for the usual tonight?” shouted the bar tender over the

noise.

“Usual is good” replied Buffy

The bar tender moved off and returned in a few moments with a triple Scotch on

the

rocks and a beer. The bartender had guessed months back that Buffy was

probably not twenty one.....but this was not the type of place that made too

much of an issue of those types of things, especially with its regulars.

Buffy handed over the money and downed the Scotch in one go while waiting for

her

change. Then, change in hand, she picked up her beer and headed towards an

empty table near the dance floor. Quickly, she put down her beer on the table

and discarded her jacket onto the empty chair. She needed to get onto that

dance floor and work off some energy......she felt like she was ready to

explode!

It was almost an hour later before Buffy returned to the table feeling

slightly less “tense”. Without sitting down, she picked up her beer and downed

it in one. 'OK', she thought, 'time to see if there is anyone in this place

worth the effort'.

Cold eyes moved round the room appraisingly, occasionally pausing to assess a

possibility before moving on in resignation. In her opinion, not a single one

of them was “worth the effort”. Buffy sighed, and decided to head back out

onto the dance floor.

It was her own fault, she acknowledged to herself......her standards were to

weird for

words, these days. She ached for someone to fill the empty void inside of her

without that person trying to become attached to her. She had worked her way

through a number of human males, and been sadly disappointed. Then she had

decided to try out a few vampires.......the club tended to get its fair share

of the undead looking for easy targets....but the few she had approached had

either (A) run off as soon as they realised she was a slayer, (B) tried to

kill her, or (C) turned out to be such imbicilic morons that even wild sex was

beyond their abilities!

Buffy called a halt to her rambling thoughts, and turned back towards the

dance floor. As she turned she caught sight of something that twigged at her

memory. Quickly she scanned the area trying to tie down the source of the

memory jog thing, but nothing out of the ordinary was forthcoming. Shrugging

mentally she turned back owards the dance floor.

She was well into the next song, when something began to tug at her brain

demanding her attention. With some reluctance, she dragged her senses back

from the dance, and tried to concentrate on what was bothering her.

Then, she had it. She was being watched......and it was more than the casual

glance of some “on heat” male. She could feel eyes traveling over her body

inch by inch. It had to be a vampire......only vampires could make you *feel*

them looking at you like that!

Buffy stopped dancing completely, and turned full circle. If someone wanted

to “play”, then she was more than ready for a fight.

She stared into the crowds surrounding the dance floor looking for a clue as

to who was watching her so closely. As she watched, a figure detached itself

from the crowd and moved over to lean against one of the pillars near the

dance floor. The figure raised a hand and sent a half hearted salute in her

direction.

'SPIKE!', thought Buffy in astonishment.

It had been so long since she had seen anyone from the old neighborhood, that

the shock knocked her motionless for a long moment.

Unbidden, the first thought that jumped to her mind was.....'Damn, but he

looks good'. That thought was quickly followed by...... 'Jeez, brain freeze

or what......what in the hell was she thinking....Spike would rip her throat

out!'

Then a small smile began to tug at the corners of her mouth, though her eyes

stayed cold and detached. 'At the very least, Spike's arrival could provide

me with an evening’s entertainment.......it did offer some interesting

possibilities if you just stopped and thought about it for awhile', she

thought to herself.

'I think its time for some pay back.....my bet is that Spike is counting on me

going into slayer mode.......but I think its time for some fun......at Spike’s

expense, of course'.

Buffy was trying to figure out exactly how to exact some pay back, when the

first beats of the Tina Turner song, “You’d Better Be Good To Me” began to

rock the club........and with the first notes of the song an idea began to

form in Buffy’s mind. Buffy didn’t stop to consider the consequences of her

actions, she just began to move sexily to the beat......and as she moved, she

kept eye contact across the room with Spike. Slowly she began to dance

towards him, miming the words of the song with her lips and body.

Spike showed no reaction to the show, he just continued to lounge against the

pillar,

watching her thoughtfully.

By the time the second verse began, Buffy had moved to within inches of

Spike’s face.

......I think it’s oh so right,

that we don’t need to fight

We stand face to face,

and you present your case.....

As she mimed the words to him, she slowly raised one hand and gently ran it

down the side of his face in a parody of a lover’s touch.

......you keep telling me that you love me

and I really do want to believe you,

but did you think I’d just accept you, in blind faith?

Anything to please you, but you’d better be good to me.....

Buffy’s face was a picture of wide eyed innocence, while her body moved in

front of him in sensual abandonment. As the beat of the song moved to a

slower, sexier pitch....Buffy moved in. Keeping her eyes fixed firmly on his,

she let her hands move behind him and pulled him towards her. Pushing herself

against him, she moved her hips against his, in time to the slower beat.

Spike didn’t resist but he didn’t join in either. He just continued to watch

her carefully.

But Spike wasn’t as unaffected by the Slayer as he tried to make out.....Buffy

felt a surge of glee as she felt him harden against her. She could well

imagine how poor Spike was struggling to fit all this into his “picture” of

the Slayer!

'Just alittle more', she thought to herself, as she moved in even closer and

ran her tongue quickly and lightly up the side of his neck. She felt Spike

stiffen, and felt his hands come to her waist to pull her tighter against him.

That was what she had been waiting for. In an instant she pushed herself

free, and

continued to dance to the song just out of his reach.

.....and I don’t have the time, for your over loaded lines

and I don’t have the time, for what you loosely call the truth,

you’d better be good to me, that’s how its gotta be now.....

As the song began to draw to a close, Buffy moved back across the room.

Quickly, she grabbed her coat and headed for the exit. 'Exit stage left', she

smiled to herself.....'best to get outta here before Spike remembered he hated

her'.

She had made it less than 500 yards down the street, before someone grabbed

her arm and spun her around,

“So, what in the bloody hell was all that about then?” said Spike

Buffy didn’t answer at first. She was to busy drinking in the sight of him.

Cold but

intelligent eyes stared at her out of a body, that was just to damn sexy.

'Come to think of it, he could be my perfect man........cold, no attachments

needed......and I’d bet a million that he’s good in bed', thought Buffy.

'Could be worth the effort.....just need to get him beyond this damn “me

vampire, you

slayer” deal'.

Instead of answering his question, Buffy moved up against him and raised her

eyes to his. Keeping eye contact, she gently began to feather his lips with a

series of quick kisses, before gently nipping his bottom lip with her teeth.

Finally Spike reacted, he grabbed her arm and began dragging her towards his

old black car which was parked just down the road.

“OK Slayer, I don’t have a bloody clue as to what is going on here but I’m

taking you

home...........*before* you get yourself killed” he said menacingly.

“Spike.......my hero.....don’t tell me that you’re worried about little old

me” replied Buffy as she batted her eyelashes at him in helpless maiden mode.

Spike merely shook his head in baffled wonder, before resuming his drag down

the street.

Chapter Two

....whats love got to do with it,

whats love, but a second hand emotion,

who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?.....

(Britten &Lyle: Whats Love Got To Do With It?)

Spike sat in the car with his hands on the steering wheel, but he made no

attempt

to start the car and drive off. His jaw was clenched tight and she could tell

by his profile that he was none to amused with the night’s activities. Buffy

smiled inwardly to herself and decided to keep quiet and let him try to figure

some sense out of it.

After a few moments, Spike turned and looked at her. His eyes moved over her

face and came to rest on her eyes. For several minutes, he stared into her

cold, hard eyes.

“Looks like my little Slayer has gone and gotten all grown up on me” he said

thoughtfully. 'In more ways than one!' he added silently to himself.

Buffy’s patience was starting to run abit thin,

“So Spike, what’s it gonna be......do I dust you......or are you man.....or

should I say, vamp enough, to drive me home and see for yourself just how much

I have grown up?”

Spike frowned at her, but didn’t reply to her invitation.

'This was just to weird for words. What in the hell was the Slayer playing

at?'

He had known that he would find her at The Tomb tonight.....rumors had been

flying

around the neighborhood that there was a Slayer in town. Spike had gone to

the club with the intention of getting her alone and then ripping her throat

out. The idea of a good fight followed by some slayer blood had appealed to

him........but he had not been unprepared for what he had found.

Her total attitude had intrigued him......his interest was aroused......and

those eyes....those eyes......he’d swear they were colder and more lifeless

than his own!! And the dance.....well now, what had bothered him about that

was *his* reaction to her. He wanted her. He didn’t fully understand

why.....after all, he hated her......but his body was not one to be denied

it’s pleasures.

'OK, so take her back to her place, get her outta your system......then rip

her throat out. All desires satisfied in one night!'

“So Slayer, where to?” he asked, glancing in her direction.

Damn those eyes.....he’d swear she knew exactly what he was planning......and

she didn’t care!

“You just drive and I’ll direct you as we go” smirked Buffy. She had him

hook, line and sinker......and it felt damn good!

“Hey, does this pile of junk have a working stereo?” she demanded. Spike

glared at her, before reaching out his hand and flicking a switch. Music

blared into the car at a decibel that would have made most cringe, but Buffy

simply smiled in satisfaction. She should have guessed that Spike would have

been partial to hard rock, but it had just never been something to think about

before. Buffy settled back into her seat, as Spike maneuvered the car out

onto the road. On the radio, the singer Meatloaf was busy telling them that

he “would go into hell and back for love....but that he wouldn’t do THAT”.

Buffy grinned inwardly to herself at the singer’s words.......she fully

intended to do ‘THAT’ before this night was over...hell or no hell!

Buffy felt the heat growing in her as she contemplated the night ahead with

Spike.

Finally, someone with an intelligence and passion that could satisfy this need

in her. It didn’t matter to her one little bit that the passion she sought

was an unholy passion.....she just craved satisfaction. With a low groan, she

swung herself round in the seat so that her back was supported by the dash

board, and raised her legs to rest on the back of the seat. Now she was able

to look at Spike as he drove.......and the looking was good!

Spike glanced over at her move and let his eyes travel slowly down her body

and along her long legs. Removing one hand from the wheel, he wrapped it

round her thigh and gently caressed the inside of her leg. Buffy felt a jolt

run through her body at the contact and felt her blood pressure rise another

few notches.

Without taking her eyes from his, she reached out with one hand and pushed his

coat to one side. The outline of his nipples were just visible through the

fabric of his T-shirt, and Buffy extended one manicured nail and gently traced

the outline. As her finger followed the circular path, she allowed the merest

sight of her tongue to follow a similar path round her lips.

Although it was impossible, Spike attempted to suck air into his lifeless

lungs. With a groan he removed his hand from her thigh and captured her

wandering finger.

“Slayer, I may be a demon, but I’m not made of stone......if you don’t want to

die in a car wreck, I suggest you turn your attention to getting us to your

place in one piece”

Buffy smiled in satisfaction at eliciting this response from him. Turning her

head

slightly, she gazed out at the passing neighborhood.

“Third street up, hang a right” she instructed. “Then it’s the fourth shack

down on the

left”

As Spike moved to follow her directions, the Slayer swung herself back around

into her seat and reached into her bag and pulled out a cigarette.

“Oh no you don’t” said Spike slapping it from her hand.

“What’s this......Mr Chain Smokin Vamp.....worried about my health and long

life” said Buffy angrily

Spike glared back at her, before reaching down with vampyric speed and

snatching the pack from her bag and tossing them out the window. The site of

the Slayer doing

something as stupid as smoking had bothered him on a level that he had no wish

to

examine closely......but he had better come up with a reason, since the Slayer

was looking at him in definite dust mode.

“I quit......getting smoke into dead lungs without any breath turned out to be

more trouble than it was worth.” was the only excuse he could come up.....and

it was a lame one!

Buffy stared at him for a moment in total disbelief, before turning her

attention back to the passing neighborhood.

“Here......stop here” she said, “This is home sweet home”.

Spike eased the car into the drive way and took a long look at the shack Buffy

called

home.

“See you’ve been movin up in the world since we last met” was his only

comment.

“It’s sun proof and has a king size bed......any other questions?” said Buffy

as she moved from the car and headed towards the front door.

Spike continued to sit in the car, thinking.

Did he really want to do this? Did he really want to get involved with a

Slayer with eyes that were colder than his? As he thought, he watched the

Slayer move up the path towards her house. Her body moved with a suggestive

gracefulness that was not lost on the Vampire.........his body moved under him

urging him to accept the offered treat......but his mind continued to shout a

danger warning at the top of its voice.

Buffy had reached her front door. She turned and looked back at the car.

“You coming?” she asked. “You’re invited in” she added before turning and

disappearing into the dark interior.

Spike lowered his head in thought for a moment. Finally his mind was made

up.....with vampyric gracefulness he moved from the car and followed Buffy

into the darkness.

Chapter Three

.....Speak a language of love, like you know what it means

It can’t be wrong

take my heart and make it stronger....

(Knight &Chapman: The Best)

Spike moved into the house and glanced around at the barely furnished rooms in

disgust. Buffy was nowhere to be seen, but he could hear her moving around in

a room just off the living room. Spike moved over to the door and leaned

against the frame.

The Slayer was just closing the door to the fridge after retrieving a beer.

“Would offer you one, but I know your not into beer” Buffy said as she popped

the top

and took a long swig from the cool beverage.

Buffy stared at him coldly, before squeezing past him back in to the living

room where she flopped onto the ragged old couch. She looked up at him, and

patted the seat next to her.

“Come sit down.....don’t be scared, I don’t bite” she said sarcastically.

“No....but I do.....or have you forgotten?” said Spike as he moved towards her

and sat

down beside her.

Cold unfeeling eyes stared at him for a moment, before the Slayer reached over

to the coffee table and picked up a knife. Without pause, she ran the knife

up the inside of her arm and watched as blood pulsed to the surface.

Spike lept from the couch,

“Why in the bloody hell did you go and do that?” he ground out, as all his

senses

responded to the smell of the fresh blood.”

“Go on then.....if you want to bite, then bite......I just made it easier for

you” Buffy said icily.

“Damn it to Hell Slayer, what are you trying to do to me.”

As Buffy watched, Spike’s vampire face wrestled with his human face as he

desperately worked on maintaining control. Buffy chuckled softly and withdrew

her wounded arm. Already the blood had started to slow as the wound quickly

healed under her Slayer metabolism.

“So if you don’t want my blood, tell me why you came looking for me at the

Club

tonight” Buffy shot at Spike.

Spike had managed to regain control and was in human form once more. He

nodded at her question and sighed.

“You’re right, I came looking to kill you”

“and you don’t want to kill me now?”

Spike merely shook his head....

“Why not?” prompted Buffy

“And that is the million dollar question Slayer.......and I don’t know the

answer”

Both of them were silent for a few moments as they digested this information.

“So, enough about me.......what gives with you?” asked Spike

“Not allot......what you see is what you get” she answered as she gazed around

the barren room.

Spike nodded understandingly, “Seems like loosing Angel had a minor impact on

the

course of your life, Pet”

“Lets not talk about that” Buffy replied testily.

“So where is Dru these days?” she added after a pause

“Gone.......she couldn’t forgive me for double crossing her and

Angelus.......I haven’t seen her in about a year”

“So your out on your own......just like me”

“I’m nothing like you, Slayer........or at least I didn’t think we had

anything in

common....but now I’m not so sure”

“Intrigued Spike?”

“So what is this all about Slayer?”

Buffy grinned wickedly at him as she replied.

“Sex......this is about sex, Spike.......I need a lover and I think you could

be the Vamp for the job”

“Hold up there Pet.......I think you’ve gone and got the wrong bloke......you

and me, we are enemies.......you stake me.....I bite you.....remember?”

“OK, so why did you come here with me then.......and why did you respond to me

in the Club?”

This was all to much for Spike, and he pushed himself up from the couch....

“That’s it Slayer, I’m outta here.......have a good life......and when you get

it back to

gether, look me up and we’ll go a couple of rounds, OK?” he said as he began

to move 'towards the door.

Gotta get out of here fast', he thought. Problem was, he was not sure he

wanted to go. Something in him wanted to take the Slayer up on her offer.

Angelus had told him how she was in bed.......and Spike realised that he was

probably turning down a night to be remembered. Problem was those

eyes......they unnerved him.......he didn’t know where the slayer was coming

from and that made her a very dangerous proposition.

Buffy watched as Spike turned and moved towards the door, 'do I always have to

resort to violence to get my point across!' she thought to herself, in the

split second before she launched herself from the couch.

His back was too her, so he was totally unprepared for her attack.

Her body slammed into his and her fists smashed into his chest. Spike

stumbled

backward beneath the added weight and fell, dragging Buffy with him. She

smashed into his chest as they both landed heavily on the floor. The impact

left them both

momentarily stunned, and for a brief moment they both lay still. Buffy rested

her head against his shoulder with her hair fanned out across his chest.

Slowly, Spike’s body started to become all to aware of the Slayer’s body

pressed into his. Her breasts against his chest, the feel of her legs

entangled in his, not to mention the feel of her hips against his. She felt

like a hot flame against his ice cold skin.

Spike’s body began to smolder with need. He struggled to suppress his desires

and to concentrate on his anger, but his body was not to be denied. He felt

the swollen length of his need push against her and finally gave into the

inevitable. Damn it, he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted another woman

in his life. The why’s of it didn’t matter.....

Buffy was aware the minute his anger left him. The arms that had held her in

anger

didn’t really loosen, but it felt different.....the arms that held her now,

held her with a

possessive and protective air. She felt his need against her thighs and

decided it would be best to lay still for a moment while Spike came to terms

with what was going on here.

“Slayer?”

“Hmm”

“You OK?” he asked gently

“Mmmmmm”

“Can I take that as a yes?”

“Are you trying to tell me that you care about my well being?”

Buffy raised herself up on one arm, and stared down into his eyes and saw her

own

passion reflected back at her. But there was something else in those

eyes.....something hekept well hidden....Buffy wasn’t sure what it was, but it

was definitely there. Her hand touched the side of his face, the tips of her

finger brushing a hot flame of desire down his cheek. Feelings and hungers

that Spike had not experienced in an eternity threatened to overwhelm him.

Desire raged through his body as he moved his arms to fit her body more

closely to his. He raised his headslightly and covered her mouth with his.

Her lips parted under his, as a low moan escaped her. Spike was over the

edge, nothing short of a

stake through his heart could stop him from taking the Slayer now. Forgotten,

for the moment, were all the reasons they could not be together.......for this

moment in time, they were one.

A low growl of need emanated from deep within him, as their tongues tasted

and teased. His hand slipped up inside her shirt and gently caressed her

breast, his thumb moving over her nipples. Pleasure ripped through Buffy in a

tide and she moaned and moved against him.

'God, what was she doing?' she though as she moved against him. She was

damning her soul by lusting after this demon.....but was it just

lust?......was he *only* a demon....what had she seen, hidden in his eyes?

For the first time since her one night with Angel, she was actually “feeling

emotions”, and there was nothing she could do to suppress them......they were

raging out of control. Buffy gave a mental shrug and sent her soul off to

wherever it needed to go.......for tonight she was going to live, if only for

a short while.

Spike wrapped his arms tightly around her and rolled Buffy on top of him. His

lips began a slow wandering down her body and settled over her nipple. Buffy

arched against him as the sensations ripped through her body. For a moment,

he withdrew his weight from her as he reached down and tugged her shirt from

her and drew his own shirt over his head. Then his lips were back on her

breasts.....his cold mouth working its own magic against her blazing skin.

Buffy was not quite sure how she lost her skirt, but his hand sliding between

her legs was pure torment. She squirmed beneath him silently urging him on.

She moaned his name just once, as her hands traveled over his lean but

muscular body.

Spike almost lost control when he heard her moan his name. He had been

alittle worried that she was only using him to re live the fantasy of

Angel......and he didn’t want that.....not now! More than anything else, he

wanted her with *him* body and

mind.....her calling his name reassured him that she was with him all the way.

A shudder wracked his body as he struggled to maintain control.

Realising he was fighting a loosing battle in the control department, he

pushed to his feet and quickly removed the last remnants of their clothing.

“Spike” she moaned softly,

Sinking to his knees, Spike reached for her, pulling her into his arms as a

growl filled his throat. Savagely, he covered her mouth with a kiss that told

of his hunger for her. His hands moved over her body exploring every inch of

her. Her hips pushed up against him and ground their lower bodies together,

need against need. The need to take her became overwhelming as she twisted

mindlessly beneath him and dug her fingers into the hard muscles of his arms.

Spike pulled away from her and then, with out pause, pushed into her. Buffy

arched against him, realising that this had been what she had been seeking

since the first moment she had seen him in the club that night.

Spike plunged deeper, moving slowly and steadily. His eyes stayed open and

locked on hers as he moved within her. Buffy moved her hips in time to his

and slipped her arms round his neck. His body was like a wall of ice against

hers, and the sensations he was evoking, threatened to overwhelm her. Sensing

her need, his thrust quickened and became deeper as they moved together as

one. Suddenly pleasure exploded inside her in a wave of physical sensations

and erotic abandonment. Spike tightened his hold on her bucking body and let

his control vanish completely. Ecstasy wracked through him as he joined her

in pleasure. Spike collapsed on top of her as a groan was ripped from his

throat. Slowly Buffy’s senses returned and she willed her limp muscles to

move. Gently

she wrapped her arms round her lover and let her fingers trace across his

back.........

Spike moved against her, as he rolled himself off her and onto his back.

Buffy felt a

temporary blinding sense of abandonment in the split second before his arm

reached out and dragged her against him. In that second, the feelings she had

experienced when Angel had abandoned her, after a night of love, swept through

her threatening to open old wounds. But Spike was not Angel, and now was not

then. Buffy gave a small sigh of contentment as she settled herself against

him and rested her headagainst his chest. Spike gently kissed the top of her

head as his hand traced a comforting pattern up and down her back.

Buffy’s mind became a whirlwind of thoughts as she contemplated what she had

just

experienced. It had NOT been as she had expected. She *had* planned on

teasing and using Spike while staying emotionally uninvolved. What *had*

happened was that she had given herself to him totally......body, mind and

soul! For a brief time, her soul had reached out from that locked

room........and it had reached for Spike! And Spike....well that was another

thing......what was going on there? How could a Demon be such a considerate

and tender lover.......what had she seen hidden in his eyes....could it be

that some minuscule degree of humanity remained hidden deep within him? It

seemed that Spike was having similar thoughts....

“Slayer?”

“What?”

“What just happened here?”

“Now is *not* a good time to tell me you need a lecture on the birds and the

bees,

Spike!”

Spike didn’t reply to her teasing. Instead he glanced over at the clock.

Gently he began to untangle himself from her...

“Gotta go....it’s been nice, but dawn is on the way”

As he left her side, Buffy felt coldness steal into her body. It was

strange, but while she had been lying beside his cold body, she had felt warm

and alive......it was only now that he was leaving that she began to feel the

coldness of her own soul.

“You could stay.....the house is sun proofed” she offered quietly

Spike finished slipping his clothes on, and looked down at her thoughtfully.

“I don’t think so Slayer.......I don’t know what went on here tonight, but I

don’t think I’m prepared to sleep unprotected in your home just yet”

Buffy felt like a knife had been plunged into her heart. He didn’t trust

her.....but could

she blame him? Come to think of it.....why was she willing to trust him?

They were

mortal enemies and either of them was capable of taking the other’s life in a

split second!

Spike slipped his coat on and moved towards the door without a word. His hand

reached out for the door handle, but he didn’t turn it. Instead he looked

back over his shoulder at the Slayer. He took in her disheveled hair, but

what really caught his attention was her eyes. They were looking at him with

a blatant need. With a groan, he turned a moved quickly back to her side.

Dropping to his knees he gathered her into his arms. His lips covered her’s

in a kiss which tried, without words, to tell her that he would be back.

Then he was gone. The door swung closed behind him, as he left her in a burst

of vampyric speed.

Chapter Four

In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away

Tear us apart?

Baby, I would rather be dead!

(Chapman & Knight: The Best)

Buffy stood on the rickety structure that served as her front porch, and

glared out into the night. It had been six days since her night with Spike,

and she hadn’t heard from him since. Anger curled in her stomach and became

like a living thing. The worst of it was, that she really didn’t understand

the anger......a one night stand had been what she wanted, and what she got!

But there was no denying the anger......it was there and it urged her on.

'OK girl, get a grip on yourself and lets deal with reality', she thought to

herself.

We are *not* going to go through this again! With Angel she had been too

wrapped up in him to kill him when he needed to be killed. Her inaction had

led to her friends being terrorised.....and even killed......while her own

heart had been totally destroyed in the process. Last time, her error had

been to forget that she was The Slayer and he was a Vampire. This time,

things would be different.....she wouldn’t forget! She would find Spike and

kill him.....then life could return to normal. She could lock away these damn

emotions one more time.

Her mind made up, the Slayer moved into the darkness and began to search. For

hours she walked alone through darkened streets and alleys with her Slayer

senses searching for any hint of Spike’s presence. Occasionally she would run

across a human, out on some unspoken task of the night......many of them

turned to look after the petite girl who moved through the night with her head

bowed like the weight of the world was carried on her shoulders. A few

thought briefly of talking to her, but something in the way she moved warned

them off. Buffy ignored them all.....she was concentrating purely on her

slayer radar detector and thoughts of finding and killing her lover.

It was as dawn’s redness began to lighten the skys that Buffy felt his

presence.

Slowly she raised her head and looked around her. Her mindless wanderings had

led her to the dock area.....she appeared to be surrounded by abandoned

warehouses. Quickly, she scanned the area, and her gaze settled on the

warehouse to her left.....looks like a definite possibility, she thought, as

she moved towards the building. As she entered the building her Slayer senses

went wild.....this was definitely it. Somewhere in here was the Vampire she

sought.

It took Buffy almost two hours to find Spike’s hiding place. The warehouse

was huge, and it was filled with a multitude of empty crates and broken

furniture. By the time she finally found him, the sun was riding high in the

sky........'an easy out', she thought to herself as she contemplated simply

letting the sun into Spike’s hiding place to do her dirty work for her.

'No, this was something she had to take care of herself', she thought, as she

gazed into the cave of crates that Spike had created to shield himself from

the deadly sunlight. Briefly, it crossed her mind that staking him while he

was asleep and defenseless was abit unfair......definitely not in the fair

fight guidelines that she had previously adhered to. But she squashed those

feelings......what did she care how or when he died.......just that he died!

Reaching into her coat pocket she withdrew a wooden stake and moved into the

“cave”. Silently, she knelt down beside his sleeping body and held the stake

above his heart. Still he slept on, deep in vampyric sleep....oblivious to

her presence. Unbidden her eyes slipped to his face, as she drank in the

sight him. A low moan escaped her throat, and the hand that held the stake

over his heart fell back to her side.

'Just a few moments with him before she killed him', she promised herself.

Silently she laid the stake to one side, before gently curling up beside him

and resting her head on his chest. As her body came into contact with his,

she felt the anger leave her......for the first time in days she felt

peace.....unnoticed a tear formed in the corner of her eye and marked a trail

down her cheek and onto Spike’s chest. It was then that she felt the merest

hint of movement beneath her cheek. Looking up, she found Spike staring at

her through half closed eyes......and for the briefest of moments, she could

have sworn that he was looking at her with a mixture of love and relief.

Somewhere deep in his sleep, Spike had sensed her presence and made an

unnatural effort to rouse himself and let her know she was welcome. Weakly,

his arm came up around her, and held her to him for the brief moment before

The Sleep claimed him again.

Now that her anger was gone, Buffy felt a tiredness that seeped into every

pore of her

body. For days, she had been unable to sleep as she wrestled with thoughts of

Spike and what had happened between them. Curling up against him, once more,

she allowed herself to drift into peaceful sleep......I deal with all this

later, was her last waking thought.

As the Slayer and Vampire slept, the sun continued it’s journey across the

skys before finally sinking over the horizon and giving into the approaching

night.

Spikes eyes flew open in immediate wakefulness.

As usual, he awoke hungry.

Slowly he turned his head and looked at the Slayer nestled trustingly in his

arms, before his eyes traveled to the wooden stake lying abandoned by her

side.

'Looks like I don’t have to go looking for dinner tonight', he thought to

himself as he

contemplated the delicate lines of the Slayer’s throat. But instead of

drinking from her, he allowed his hand to reach up and gently move a stray

whisp of hair from her face.

Gently he removed himself from her arms without waking her..........he started

to move away, but the Slayer stirred

“Going somewhere?” she asked sleepily

Spike looked at her for a few moments trying to judge what her reaction would

be to his next statement.

“Hungry” he said simply

Spike watched her carefully as she raised herself on one elbow and looked back

at him.

“Pet, I’m not Angel.....I don’t live off packaged blood.......can you deal

with it?”

Buffy was silent for a moment, while her protective Slayer instincts waged war

on her

growing loyalty to her lover.

“Just don’t let me see it, and don’t talk to me about it” she said finally

Spike nodded acceptance of the terms and moved to leave...

“Spike...”

Spike paused and turned to look back at her.... “Yes Pet?”

“First....don’t call me Pet......it reminds me of Drew”

Spike smiled..... “OK.......baby?”

“Don’t know that I like that either, but it’s better”

“You wanted something?” Spike prompted

“I know you won’t settle for packaged blood......but try to stay away from

humans”

Spike wrinkled his nose in disgust and moved out of her sight.

“I’ll meet you at the Club later” he called back to her, before he moved out

into the night.

Outside the warehouse, Spike stopped and finally allowed himself time to

think.

Who in the hell was he kidding here. This Slayer thing couldn’t work.....he

knew that. But that didn’t change how he felt.

All week long he had stood by his resolve to stay as far away from the Slayer

as possible. But his mind had stayed with her.

As the week had stretched on, unreasonable anger and frustration had grown

within him. Hell, this week alone he had killed off three of his imbicilic

minions in separate fits of rage. He had ended up taking himself off to the

deserted warehouse in an attempt to leave at least some of the minions walking

and talking!

The minions, for their part, were steering well clear of their

master.....hell, they had taken to pinning *notes* on the warehouse door to

communicate with him......Spike shook his head in resignation as he thought

about having to deal with those imbeciles on a nightly basis.

But now he felt better....calmer......and he knew he had the slayer to thank

for that.

He had sensed her even before she had entered the warehouse, and he knew she

meant to kill him. But it hadn’t mattered. He could have roused himself from

his sleep and battled her.....but there was no point. He had come to accept

the fact that he couldn’t...or wouldn’t....kill her. If she was determined to

see him dead, then she could go for it. But instead of the expected stake

piercing his heart, he had felt the slayer curl up beside him and he had felt

her tears on his chest. When he had managed to open his eyes and look at her,

he had seen emotion in those previously cold and unfeeling eyes.

What was going on between them didn’t make any sense, but it appeared to be

happening despite both their attempts to stop it. Spike sighed and dragged

his mind back to the present problem......food was a pressing need. He

briefly considered the Slayer’s request that he “stay away for humans”, but

quickly discarded it. A “pet” vampire he was not....hunting and feeding was

part of his nature, and a part of him that the Slayer would just have to learn

to live with. Without further thought, he strode into the night to begin the

hunt.......

Chapter Five

Some nights you’re breathin fire

Some nights you’re carved in ice

Some nights you’re like nothing I’ve ever seen before....

Or will agian,

(Meatloaf, I would Do Anything For Love)

Not to much time passed before Spike found himself approaching the door to the

Club. He had spent little time on the hunt, and had dispensed completely with

the joy of the chase. Instead, he had grabbed his victim without warning and

dragged her back into the alley. Unusually, he had decided to leave his

victim while there was still some life in her......she might live, then again

she might not. Spike didn’t stop to consider this change in his usual feeding

pattern.....he just did it. He refused to acknowledge that the words of the

Slayer could have influenced him any way.

He was just about to move into the Club, when a voice hailed him from across

the street. Recognising the voice, he turned and watched as the Slayer

approached.

“Hey” she said as she came up to him

“Hey yourself” he replied, pulling her into his arms and covering her mouth

with his in a deep and demanding kiss.

Buffy tasted the slight saltiness of his mouth, and knew that he had been

feeding. Gently she pulled away.

Spike watched her, trying to gage her reaction......could she deal with

it?......could she restrain herself from questioning him?

Finally, Buffy looked up at him and gave him an small accepting smile

“Come on....lets go inside” she said, taking his hand and moving towards the

entrance.

Spike followed her in, slipping the cover charge to the bouncer as he passed.

The club was heaving tonight......there was barely room to move. Spike took

her by the elbow and began to guide her protectively through the crowds. At

one point, ayoung man pushed by Buffy and gave her an appraising look.

Immediately Spike growled low in his throat and his features began to melt.

Quickly Buffy squeezed his arm in warning....

“Not now Spike” she hissed at him......before reaching up and giving him a

quick kiss.

Spike’s features managed to remain in their human shape, and he had the grace

to shoot Buffy an apologetic grin. “Sorry.....I’ll have to watch that” he

whispered into her ear.

It was then that Buffy noticed the blatant stares that Spike was receiving

from a group of girls sat at a nearby table. Now it was her turn to glare.

She felt Spike chuckle beside her and turned her glare on him. Spike threw up

his arms in mock surrender

“Looks like the green eyed monster has got more than enough to go around Pet”

At the word “pet” he felt Buffy’s elbow connect painfully with his ribs

“I. Said. Don’t. Call. Me. That.” she ground out.

“OK, OK.....peace?” said Spike as he managed to straighten himself out again

after the blow.

Buffy looked at him standing there, and felt an overwhelming urge to melt into

him right then and there. He looked so damn good!

Instead she turned and began heading towards the bar. She needed a drink.....

But before she had taken more than a few steps, Spike caught her arm and spun

her

around.

“You don’t need that” he said seriously

“Oh Jeez....give me strength.....first the cigarettes and now the

alcohol......don’t you know you’re a demon and your supposed to support this

kind of activity” she replied in disbelief.

Spike simply shrugged and continued to stare at her

“You don’t need that anymore......I can give you everything you need” he said

Buffy thought about starting an argument, but then decided it just wasn’t

worth the

effort.....the drink wasn’t really that important anyways.

Seeing the change in her body posture, Spike realised that she had accepted

his terms. Reaching out his hand, he hooked a finger under her chin and

brought her eyes back up to his.

“Wanna dance?” he asked gently

Buffy stared at him in astonishment, “*you* dance??”

“You wouldn’t begin to believe the different things you can learn to do over a

lifetime of a couple of hundred years” he replied as humor danced in his eyes.

Buffy contemplated the hidden meaning in his statement, before moving into his

arms. Seductively she kissed his neck before turning her mouth to his ear

“Listen, I really don’t want to hang around here all night, pretending to have

fun......what I really want to do is be alone with you”

“Your wish is my command” said Spike, as he wrapped his arm round her shoulder

and led her from the club....

Chapter Six

Spike had decided that he couldn’t stand another night in Buffy’s barren

shack.....nor did he intend to return to the warehouse. Instead he led her

back to what he currently called home.

As he bent to unlock the door, he prayed that non of his minions would be

hanging

around.......he didn’t think they would since they were all bloody scared to

death of him at the moment.

Taking the Slayer by the hand, he led her inside, and flicked on the light.

Buffy stopped just inside the door and looked around. The place was

beautiful. The

natural light wooden floor was starkly contrasted by black leather furniture

with glass

and brass accessories. Along one wall sat an entertainment system that, Buffy

guessed, must have cost a couple of thousand at least.

“I like it” she commented

But before Spike could reply, one of the doors off the hallway opened and one

of Spike’s minions entered sleepily into the room.....

Spike sighed in obvious annoyance at the interruption and glared at the

minion. The

minion, however, was not looking at his Master.......his attention was fully

riveted on the Slayer.

“Master......the Slayer” he blurted as he pointed at Buffy in obvious fear.

Spike dropped his head in defeat at ever being able to breed some backbone

into his

followers.

“You don’t say.....?” he said sarcastically as he turned to Buffy, “Darling,

You really should have told me who you were”

“Sorry dear.....it slipped my mind” she replied as she desperately tried to

keep the smile from her face.

The minion stood in obvious confusion, looking from Buffy to Spike and back to

Buffy

again. He was obviously terrified.

Unable to stop herself, Buffy lept at the poor minion, and yelled “BOOO” at

the top of

her lungs as she swung her arms over her head.

Without hesitation the minion threw himself through the nearest window and

disappeared into the night, without a backward glance.

Buffy contemplated the broken window for a moment before turning apologetic

eyes

onto Spike. “Sorry” she offered.

Spike raised his head slightly and looked over at her. Buffy saw that a smile

was tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“That was very naughty.....it will take me weeks of hard work to get him to go

outside

again........you really shouldn’t be so cruel to the children” he admonished

with a touch of humor lacing his voice.

Buffy couldn’t help it, the sight of the poor vampire leaping for its life,

struck her as

hilarious......laughter bubbled up from within her and she began to shake with

the effort of trying to keep it under control.

Spike looked at her in resignation...... “Go ahead.....laugh.....get it out

of your system”

At that, Buffy lost it and collapsed into a nearby chair, as the laughter

racked her body.

After a few moments, she tried to speak around her laughter.... “Sorry....but

I can

just.....imagine.....him running to......tell the others.....how their

master.......” she couldn’t go on, as the laughter reclaimed her.

Her laughter was contagious and Spike felt himself give way to her humor.

Trying to

regain some sembalance of seriousness, he said “I don’t think you realise just

how much work I have to put into that lot to get them to even function”

But his attempt at seriousness was having no affect on the Slayer.

“Oh I give up!” he said in defeat, and flopped down on the chair beside her.

That did it.....his closeness had an immediate sobering effect on the Slayer.

Gently she reached out and took his hand, raising it to her lips for a kiss.

“Don’t take it to badly......everyone one has a cross to bear.......you and I

just have a few more than normal people” she offered

“A little less of the “cross” word around here, if you don’t mind” came

Spike’s

absentminded reply, as he pushed himself up from the chair and moved over to

the

stereo. Briefly he scanned the CDs and selected one to play.

As the strains of “Sara” by Fleetwood Mac filled the room, Spike held his

hand out to her..... “How about that dance Slayer?”

Buffy didn’t need to be asked twice. Quickly she moved into his arms and felt

contentment steal over her has his arms came round her to hold her tightly.

Slowly he began to move to the music, leading her skillfully in time to the

beat. He was right.....he could dance. He didn’t just shuffle from one foot

to another, like most men did.......he danced. Buffy melted into him and let

him lead her into paradise.

........wait a minute baby,

Stay with me awhile,

You said you’d give me life,

but you never told me about the fire.....

As they moved, Spike held her body closely against his. Every move was a

subtle arousal to her screaming senses. Spike lowered his head and nuzzled

her neck.....the feeling was one of indescribable pleasure. Buffy raised her

hands and let them slip between their bodies and up under his shirt. Slowly

she began to caress his nipples as she moved her head to one side, to give him

greater access to her neck.

Her movement brought a sudden realisation to Spike. She trusted him! Him of

all

people! To give him such access to her neck........he could kill her now

without her ever knowing what had hit her. Inwardly he groaned, and held her

closer to him.....it would be over his dead dust that anyone got a chance to

hurt her again. He didn’t think to much about the ramifications of his

vow....he just knew it to be a fact.

Feeling his self control slipping away, he broke away from her. Gently he

took her by the hand and led her into the bedroom. “This time Slayer, we use

a bed”

In a tangle of limbs they fell onto the bed and wrapped themselves around each

other. Spike moved up on his elbow and looked down into her eyes.....he had

never seen the slayer look as vulnerable as she did right now. His lips

pressed gently on hers as he felt her arms reach around his neck......he

continued to kiss her face, leaving cold traces on each spot he touched. His

hands roamed her body removing her clothing before letting his hand slip

between her legs. He could feel her desire grow as he continued to stimulate

her beyond endurance.....he wanted to......*needed* to hear her cry out for

him.

They were both so involved in the moment, that neither of them heard the

bedroom door quietly open. Nor did they notice the figure that stood there

watching them for several moments before moving into the room. Spike never

new what hit him, as the baseball bat made contact with the back of his

head.....he just slipped into darkness. Buffy caught a glimpse of long black

hair before the bat came back around and sent her into oblivion.

Chapter Seven:

.....She is like a cat in the dark,

and then she is the darkness.....

(Rhiannon, by Fleetwood Mac)

.............several hours later, Spike slowly began to regain consciousness.

With a groan, he raised himself up onto his knees and felt his head gingerly

for any permanent damage to his skull. Hell, it felt like his brain had been

plastered against the wall! Slowly, coherent thought started to slip back

into his aching head. Suddenly he remembered. 'Buffy......where in the hell

was Buffy?' Quickly he glanced round the room, but there was no sight of

her......but the pillow she had been resting on, was drenched in blood. Spike

gazed at the pillow for several moments, and as he looked the rage began to

build inside him. Someone was going to pay and pay dearly!

Spike lept to his feet, totally ignoring the pounding headache that

intensified as he

moved. Quickly he redressed and moved into the living room. He had to find

the Slayer, and fast! But what he saw in the livingroom brought him to a

grinding halt.

Sitting at the dinning room table was Druscilla.

As he moved into the room, Dru looked up from the dolls that she was playing

with.

“Princess is back” she said simply before turning back to her dolls

Spike closed his eyes and struggled to maintain control......getting mad with

Dru rarely worked......she would just retreat into her madness and he would be

left with no information at all! Spike was surprised that he felt nothing but

a small degree of pity when he looked at his former lover.........pity and

anger.......the need to hurry was overwhelming.....if Dru had been behind all

this, then the Slayer was either already dead or close to death.

“Pet...where is the Slayer” he asked as he moved toward her

“Gone.....Gone......Gone,” replied Dru without looking up from her dolls.

“Yes Pet, but where has she gone to?” said Spike as he reached out a hand and

gently massaged the back of her neck.

Dru gave a kitten like purr and rubbed her head against his hand, before

wrinkling up her nose

“You smell bad” was her only reply

Spike closed his eyes and tried counting to ten. Hell, this wasn’t going to

work!

In a split second, his face turned vamp and he grabbed Dru by the neck and

threw her against the wall.

“Now Pet........I don’t want to play......just tell me where the Slayer is”

“That hurt.....why did you hurt your princess?” said Dru as her own face went

vamp.

“The Slayer, Dru?” ground out Spike as he tightened his hold on the

vampiress’s neck.

For an instant Dreu’s eyes cleared and sanity radiated from her

“You don’t need her.....she was bad for you....Miss Edith said so”

“Dru....” said Spike menacingly

“I gave her to the boys.......Miss Edith said that slayer blood would be good

for

them......then we could have some fun......couldn’t we Spike?”

Spike didn’t answer her......instead he looked towards the clock. It was

dusk......he must have been unconscious all day. That meant there was

hope.......perhaps the “boys” hadn’t had time to finnish off the Slayer last

night, and had decided to save her for abit of fun tonight!

Slowly, Spike released Dru but he remained in his vamp mode. “If anything has

happened to the Slayer, I will kill you myself” he spat at her.

Dru didn’t answer him, she just moved back over to the table and began playing

with her dolls again.

“Get your stuff and get the hell out of here.......if you come near Buffy or

me again you better be ready to die” said Spike as he ran to the door and flew

into the night.

Dru didn’t move from her place at the table.

“Miss Edith, do you think Spike really loves that horrible Slayer girl”

Dru picked the doll up and held it to her ear.

“Of course I know he’ll be back......he could never leave his princess”

Chapter Eight

If looks could kill

You’d be lying on the floor

You don’t want to see my anger

You’d be realing from the pain,

You’d be begging me, please don’t hurt me no more

.....if looks could kill

(Heart, If Looks Could Kill)

Spike moved through the night with a speed and gracefulness born only of

vampires. The few mortals he passed were only aware of a momentary cold

breeze against their skin.....it was a good job the mortals couldn’t see him,

since he was in full Vamp mode and madder than hell. There was one single

thought in his mind......get to the Slayer before anything else happened to

her........

_________

For Buffy, consciousness returned slowly. One by one each of her senses came

back ‘online’ and immediately started screaming a warning to hurry up and get

herself together. Briefly, she attempted to open her eyes, but an

excruciating pain shot through her head, reminding her that slow was

definitely good. Buffy took a deep breath, and tried it again......slowly.

At first, she could see only shadows in the darkened room, but as her eyes

became more accustomed to the dark, she began to make out the forms of about

twenty Vamps laying around the room in various positions of undead sleep.

Quickly she glanced up towards a window which had been carefully boarded

over......through the merest of cracks she could see that dusk was quickly

approaching. Buffy attempted to move....but no luck....she was securely tied

up. 'Oh this is definitely good' she thought to herself, 'a tied up Slayer

who was about to keep the company of twenty hungry Vamps......no problem!'

'Maybe Spike', she began....but then the memory of the attack came flooding

back. She clearly remembered Spike getting hit and collapsing. Worry about

her own situation fled from her mind, as she set to work struggling against

the ropes that bound her wrists. She had to get out of here and find

Spike.......surely the Vamps wouldn’t have had the guts to harm their precious

Master.....or would they? At the thought of Spike being dust, a deep black

hole opened in the pit of her stomach. No.....she wouldn’t think about

that.....Spike was all right......he had to be!

Buffy’s mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of Spike and getting free, that

she didn’t notice the slight movement in the room as the Vamps began to wake

up, until a low growl effectively managed to redirect her attention. Standing

in front of her was a large male vampire who was definitely sporting a

‘hungry’ look. As she watched, the other Vamps rose and joined their comrade,

forming a tight circle around her.

“Welcome Slayer” hissed one female vamp

“Hey guys, thanks for the warm welcome.....but I really can’t stay.....I have

to go and see your Master......remember him......big guy, bad temper?”

At the mention of their Master, several of the Vamps began to look around

warily until one stepped forward and ran a finger down the side of her face.

“The Master does not need you anymore.....now you belong to ussss”

“Hey fang breath.....back off.....didn’t anyone ever tell you about the

benefits of mouth wash!”

The Vamp hissed a warning but Buffy wasn’t waiting for a reply,

“But lets not change the subject.....we were talking about your boss.....did

any of you morons think to check with your boss before pulling off this

fiasco?”

“The Master does not need you......we will have you and the spell you have

cast over him will be gone” growled the Vamp.

“surely you didn’t think that up all by yourself” said Buffy sarcastically

“Our Mistress says it will be so” replied the Vamp, moving in slowly on her

“Your Mistress?” said Buffy thoughtfully.........'Dru.....they must be talking

about Dru!

Guess her evilness self was back in town.......now things started to make abit

of sense! '

Buffy was just about to question the Vamp further, when their was a polite

cough from the back of the room.

The Vamps spun round to see who had invaded their space....

“Sorry.......don’t mean to interrupt your little talk......but I would be

grateful if one of you could spare me a moment to fill me in what the *hell*

is going on here......because at the moment I am really PISSED OFF”

Spike leaned against the back wall with his hands casually tucked away in the

pockets of his coat, as he waited for it to sink into the minion’s heads that

they were in some deep shit now.

Buffy’s felt relief wash over her at the sight of him, and it wasn’t because

she knew it

could help her out of this minor predicament that she currently found herself

in......it was because he was OK. Despite his casual posture, she caught a

glimpse of the vicious anger radiating from his eyes.....'Yep, he was

OK.....and Yep, he was mad'.

Buffy couldn’t help the small grin that formed on her face,

“Looks like you guys have a bit of explaining to do” she offered

Spike looked over at her..... “You OK?”

“Bruised but not bitten” she answered him

Spike continued to look her over for a few moments, satisfying himself that

she really

was OK, before he pushed himself off the wall and began to stroll into the

center of the room. As he moved his minions backed up sensing that being

within their Master’s reach would not be a life extending move at this present

time.

“OK, lets start at the beginning.....always a good place to start.....don’t

you think?” Spike said gently.

“You” he said pointing a finger at a nearby Vamp, “untie the Slayer.....and

you” he said pointing at another, “tell me what is going on here”.

As the first Vamp hurried to do his Master’s bidding, the second vamp opened

and closed his mouth as he tried to come up with an explanation which would

ease Spike’s anger.

Spike stared into the Vamp’s face for only a few seconds before losing his

notoriously short temper.

“Nope.....not good enough.....especially when I’m in this kind of mood” he

said, and in a flash his hands came up and snapped the Vamp’s neck. Then

reaching into his coat pocket he pulled out a stake and handed it to another

Vamp.

“Finnish it” he ordered, and the selected Vamp didn’t hesitate in dusting its

comrade in the slight hope that the other’s death might work to save it’s own.

Spike smiled... “OK, now I feel better.....so....who wants to volunteer to

tell me what is going on?”

Seems there were no takers to his request. All the Vamps lowered their eyes

and tried to back up even further. Spike turned his attention back to the

Vamp who was busily trying to turn Buffy loose.

He seemed to be having some difficulty with the knots at her wrist, and Spike

raised a questioning eyebrow in their direction.

“I’m sorry Spike, but I can’t get the knot out” whined the Vamp.

“Christ.....can’t you prats do anything right?” growled Spike, as he moved

towards the Slayer.

But he had only taken a few steps before a voice hailed him from the passage

leading out of the room. Spike whirled around to face the owner of that

familiar voice.

“Dru......come to join the party?” he said, as the vampiress slid into the

room.

“I know why you’re angry......yes, I do......Princess understands”

“Oh you do....so share....tell me why I am angry” replied Spike as he kept a

careful eye on the Vampiress. Dru might be mad, but she was also deadly and

Spike had no intention of underestimating his former lover.

“You are jealous” said Dru as she gave him a coy smile

“And just where did you get that idea” said Spike, as his exasperation grew at

being

dragged into yet another childish conversation.

“Miss Edith told me........she said I had to play fair.....she said that I

could have your lover but I had to give you mine”

“What in the Hell are you talking about?” growled Spike

Dru didn’t answer, she just turned and reached into the dark passage behind

her and

pulled a securely tied up figure into the room.

Spike stood rock still as he contemplated the new arrival.

“Well, well, well.....what do we have here.......is this Angel or could it be

Angelus?”

His question was answered for him as he took in the way Angel was staring at

the Slayer.

Dru looked from Spike to Angel and clapped her hands in glee at the way her

little game was working out.

“See....Miss Edith was right.......I’ll kill the Slayer and you can kill

Angel.....now

everything is fair again”

Spike didn’t reply.....but he slowly began to stroll over towards Dru and the

bound Angel. As he moved, the other Vamps backed up. They did not want to

get involved in this disagreement between the three Major Vamps.....the

minions were not smart, but they have a strong sense of self preservation.

Buffy looked from Spike to Angel and then back to Spike. 'Oh God', she

thought....'let the minions take me now cause I certainly can’t deal with

this!'

Chapter 9

If you wanna leave, I won’t beg you to stay

and if you gotta go, darlin, maybe its better that way,

Just walk away....its tearing me apart that your leaving

I’m letting you go....but I won’t let you know.

(B.Tyler: Don’t Turn Around)

Spike continued to move toward Dru, but now he wore an interested look on his

face.

“Well Pet, this is much more like it.......and I like it”

Dru smiled at him

“Miss Edith and I just knew you would”

As Spike came up beside Dru, he let his arm slip round her waist and pulled

her to him

“Oh, I *have* missed you Princess” as he nuzzled in to her neck

“and you’re still my little Spike”

Dru gave the Slayer a triumphant look, but Buffy was oblivious to it. The

shock of

seeing Angel again, followed by the mind blowing sight of seeing Spike kiss

Dru, was just to much for her. She retreated into her mind in numb shock.

“So” said Spike, pulling back slightly from his Princess, “how did you go and

get old

Angel boy back from the gates of hell Pet?”

Dru smiled a knowing smile.....

“Miss Edith told me how to do it.....she knew I was mad at you for hurting

Angel, so she told me where to go and how to get him back....”

At this a peeved looked settled onto the Vampyress’s face... “But it didn’t

work

right.....Miss Edith didn’t know that Angelus was gone and that Angel had his

body back”

Dru looked like she was about to cry, and Spike wrapped his arms round her in

comfort

“so you got him back OK......just not the particular brand that you had been

shopping for....right Pet?” prompted Spike

Dru just nodded her head miserably,

“Hey there, Pet.....don’t cry.....you and I are gonna have some fun.....and

its all worked out for the best now....hasn’t it?” said Spike into his lovers

ear

Dru began to smile again..... “My little Spike, are you glad mummy is home?”

“I didn’t know how I was gonna live without you, Pet......until I ran into the

Slayer, that is......she took my mind of things for awhile.....and it was abit

of fun mucking around with her and getting her to think I cared about

her......but now its time for her to die”

Buffy couldn’t believe what she was hearing......it sounded like Angelus all

over

again....but to add insult to injury, Angel was looking at her with that damn

hurt puppy dog look on his face.

Spike saw the looks passing between Angel and Buffy, and he gently broke free

of Dru’s arms....

“Time to get down to business......I think I’ll start with lover boy here” he

said as he

turned to the bound and gagged Angel.

“Turn him loose” he said to the Vamp who was standing by Angel.

“Spike......maybe you had better leave him tied up......he can be dangerous,

luv” said Dru with alittle frown of worry.

“No Pet......I have waited too long for my time with Angel boy.....we are

gonna see if he is as good as he thinks he is”

Angel was released and pushed out into the middle of the floor to where Spike

waited.

'OK', thought Spike....'this is it, lets just hope Angel takes the cue and

doesn’t stall in his usual indecisive manner.'

The two vamps stood face to face, snarling at each other.....the anger from

the pair of

them radiated out to those watching in awe as these two prepared to take each

other out.

They stared into each other’s eyes watching for the opening moves.....

......but Spike dropped his eyes first......and with a sudden burst of

vampyric speed, he pushed Angel in the direction of the bound Slayer.....

“Release her” he yelled

Angel didn’t have time to hesitate, as the momentum from Spike’s shove drove

him

straight into the Slayer. Angel quickly moved to untie her, as the sounds of

battle erupted from behind him. He glance round and saw that Spike had taken

up a defensive position in front of them and was busy dealing with an influx

of minions.

Then the Slayer was free, and they became three.

Buffy, Angel and Spike stood together making a formidable wall of power.

The minions seeing two very riled Master Vamps and one pissed off Slayer, came

to a sliding halt, as they looked back to their Mistress for direction.

“What you got to ask yourself is......do you feel lucky” taunted Spike

It seems the minions did not “feel lucky” because after a brief hesitation

they fled!

Dru looked at the three

“I’ll get you for this, luv” was all she said before she turned on her heels

and followed

the minions from the room.

Spike didn’t wait for Dru’s reinforcements to arrive. Quickly he moved to the

exit door and yelled back for the other two to follow him. He kept his eyes

away from Buffy.

The three burst from the exit door into a deserted alley, and sprinted side by

side to the nearby street......and they continued to run until they were sure

they were no longer being followed.

As they slowed to a stop, the awkwardness of the moment began to make itself

felt.

Angel kept looking between Buffy and Spike.....and Buffy just looked at the

side walk!

But Spike wasn’t into games.

“It’s been nice workin with you too......see you around”, as he turned and

began to walk away from them.

Buffy couldn’t raise her eyes. She couldn’t watch him go.....she just

couldn’t.

Then she felt Angel’s hand on her arm, guiding her away....

Her mind screamed protest, her heart thudded in her chest like it was going to

explode, but she didn’t say anything, she just went quietly with Angel.

At the end of the street, Spike paused. He wanted to turn around and look at

her one more time, but he gritted his teeth against the desire. From the

apartment block across the road, came the muted sounds of a song...

....I’m gonna be strong, I’m gonna do fine

Don’t worry about this heart of mine

Just walk out the door, Just see if I care,

Go on and go now......

.....But don’t turn around

Cause you’re gonna see my heart breakin

Spike snarled at the words of the song, and without a backward glance, he

turned the corner and faded into the night.

Chapter 10

I walk in shadows, searching for light

cold and alone, no comfort in sight

Every day heartaches grow alittle stronger

I can’t stand this pain much longer....

(Dean: Broken Hearted)

Buffy unlocked the door to her home, and moved aside, inviting Angel in.

Neither one of them had said a great deal on the way back to the

house.....there was just so much to say and no way to start.

Angel moved into the room and stood looking at her questioningly.

Buffy knew what he wanted her to say, but she just couldn’t....suddenly the

urge to run away was more that she could ignore.

“Excuse me for a moment....I have to go to the little girl’s room” she said as

she whirled around and virtually ran down the hall. As the bathroom door

slammed closed behind her, Buffy threw the lock and let out a sigh of relief.

Moving over to the toilet, she lowered the lid and sat down.....she didn’t

really need to go.....she just needed to sit quietly alone for a few minutes

while she got her brain cells back into gear.

Oh God!.....Spike.....what was she going to do? But her mind stubbornly

refused to

provide her with the appropriate answer. OK...lets try being practical here

and work this out logically. Her thing with Spike was a new thing.....no real

commitment or

relationship there......no time to figure out if the feelings she thought she

had for him

were real or not. On the other hand, she and Angel had history.....she loved

him....hell, she had stood by while he terrorised and even killed her friends!

No matter what had happened, she had remained deeply in love with him......

“killing” him had almost destroyed her. So......maybe she was just confused

about his return after so long......maybe if she just gave it a chance things

could go back to the way they were? And of course, she knew Angel loved

her.....and Spike...well he was an unknown in that department. The one

question she could bring herself to face was ‘who do I love’!

'OK, so the thing to do here is give Angel a chance.....see if we can work

this out'.

Mind made up, Buffy stood and unlocked the door.....then taking a deep breath,

she

opened the door and moved back into the living room. Without pause she walked

straight up to Angel a gave him alittle kiss on the lips. For the first time,

she managed to raise her eyes to his and saw hurt and confusion in their

depths.

“Buffy.....I think we need to talk” Angel began...

But Buffy hushed him with another kiss. “Later” was all she said, as she took

his hand a led him towards the bedroom.

______

Buffy awoke and immediately remembered everything. It didn’t need time to

filter back into her conscious mind.....it was just there!

Gently, she moved out of Angel’s arms and turned so she could see the

clock.....11

a.m.....she looked back at Angel and saw that he was deep in The Sleep.

Quietly, she got up and slipped on a T-shirt and moved over to sit in the old

rocking chair in the far corner of the bedroom. For hours she sat there just

staring at him....no real thoughts went through her mind, it was just a numb

blank feeling that settled into every cell in her body.

After awhile, her mind managed to form a thought.....I *need* a drink and a

cigarette she thought as she quietly left the room and moved down the hall

towards the kitchen. A few minutes later she emerged back into the living

room, with glass and cigarette in hand and moved over to stand at the window.

“Spike” she said quietly.....but no one answered her call.....

Buffy sighed and turned away from the window and looked woodenly around her

bare

living room. She didn’t want to go back into the bedroom.....she felt alittle

less uptight out here. Her eyes settled on her old stereo.

As if drawn by a magnet, Buffy moved to the stereo and sank down on the floor

in front of it. Quickly she scrambled through her CDs looking for Fleetwood

Mac. Found, she inserted it into the stereo and placed the headphones over

her ears.

And then her mind with filled with the opening chords of Stevie Nicks singing

‘Sara’.

Buffy closed her eyes, and let her mind travel back to the night Spike had

held her in his arms and danced with her to this song....

wait a minute baby,

stay with me awhile,

you said you’d give me life,

but you never told me about the fire.......

It was too much....the memories came flooding back and as they came they

ripped her to pieces. Buffy bent over double as if she’d been physically

kicked in the stomach and she struggled to get some breath into her reluctant

lungs. Unbidden, the tears began to flow down her face. 'No damn it.....you

didn’t tell me about the fire.....oh god....why didn’t you tell me about the

fire!'

Buffy was so emersed in the song and her emotions, that she didn’t sense

Angel’s

presence until he reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. Startled, she

raised her eyes, naked with emotion, to his. Quickly she lowered her gaze,

knocked the headphones off her ears and tried to compose herself.

Angel didn’t say a word, he just continued to stare at her thoughtfully before

turning and moving back towards the bedroom. At the door he stopped, and

without turning around he said,

“I have to go out......I need to find somewhere to get food supplies from”

and then he

disappeared into the darkness of the bedroom.

For the first time, Buffy noticed that night had fallen while she had been

pre-occupied

with her music. Her eyes flew to the window.....somewhere out there, Spike

was moving around. 'I wonder what he’s doing right now', she thought before

turning back to her stereo and replacing the headphones. Grabbing a pillow

from the old couch, she laid down on the floor and let herself drift off to

the fantasy world offered by the music.

She wasn’t conscious of Angel leaving, nor did she know how much time had

passed....she might even have slept for awhile......but suddenly she was

acutely aware of the emptiness of her house. Sitting up, she reached out a

finger, flipped the stereo off and removed the headphones.

Around her the house sat in silent darkness, but Buffy didn’t reach for a

light....she had come to prefer the darkness. Slowly she rose to her feet and

moved towards the

bedroom.

She sensed Angel was gone........not just gone to get some food....but gone

gone!

As she moved into the deserted bedroom, her eyes fell onto the single white

rose that was laying across her pillow. Gently she picked up the rose and

held it to her nose, before turning and walking slowly back out into the hall.

She had only managed a few steps down the hall before her legs collapsed under

her. The carefully walled dam broke with a vengeance as Buffy leaned against

the hallway wall and sobbed for Angel, for Spike, for her family and friends,

for those who had died, and for herself. As the emotion tore through her, her

hands clamped down involuntarily on the Rose she carried.....thorns dug

themselves into her skin and blood began to trickle out, staining the white

rose petals to blood red.

Chapter 11

I want to run, I want to hide

I want to tear down the walls, that hold me inside

I want to reach out, and touch the flame

Where the streets have no name.....

(U2 Streets have no name)

Spike had always been a dangerous and deadly Vamp....but now he was just plain

deadly!

He had refused to let his mind dwell on thoughts of the Slayer with Angel, so

instead he had given himself over completely to the demon that ruled him. He

strode through the night taking death and destruction with him as a soul

mate......

________________

After what seemed like an eternity, Buffy managed to slow her tears to a

controllable

level. She had to talk to someone....she had to know what to do....

Using both hands she managed to claw her way up the wall, and finally achieved

a

standing position. Then using the wall for support, she headed back into the

bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. Reaching out for a corner of the sheet,

she wrapped it around her bloody hand, before reaching out for the phone.

'What in the hell was she going to say.......how did you say “hi” to someone

you had

abandoned over a year ago?'

Buffy’s hands paused over the key pad.....but then in a flurry of decision,

she dialed the old number that was as familiar to her as her own name.

A sleepy voice answered.......

Buffy felt her throat tighten at the sound of the voice and for a moment she

thought she was going to be unable to speak....but then her voice returned...

“Will......it’s me......Buffy”

“BUFFY!!!......where are you, where have you been......”

Buffy smiled briefly at the sound of her excited friend

“Will.....I need to talk........”

There was silence on the other end of the phone as Willow heard the pain in

Buffy’s

voice

“So talk Buffy......I’m listening” was all she said

Buffy closed her eyes and blessed Willow straight to heaven.......her friend

wasn’t going to question her about the million or so things that she obviously

wanted to. She had recognised her friend’s pain and was ready to deal with

it........the other stuff could wait.

Buffy took a deep breath and plunged in. She didn’t pause and she didn’t

spare

herself.....she told Willow everything. Willow didn’t interrupt.....she let

Buffy ramble

until she came to a halt all by herself.

“Wow!” was Willow’s initial comment as Buffy’s explanations drew to a close.

“Willow....what do I do?” said Buffy in desperation

“Well.......I don’t know.....love triangles aren’t really in my experience!”

“What about Xander and Oz” Buffy offered

“Well that doesn’t count.....not in the same league as you, Angel and

Spike.....now that is a *major* triangle”

“Willow....” said Buffy, trying to get her friend back on track

“OK...OK....I get the point....here is how I see it” the girl began....

“Angel was your first love, but you were only sixteen when you met him......he

knew it, and he also knew that you would grow up and mature and maybe even

grow away from him.......maybe that’s why he tried to stay so distant from

you. And remember, you only made love the once......then he became

Angelus......and he did alot of things to hurt you. Even though he was a

demon, those things must have impacted on your feelings for him. All those

months of living without Angel while Angelus taunted you, must have been

terrible.......then when you finally killed him, you ended up killing Angel

instead. Then you had to turn around and mentally let him go......he was dead

Buffy and you moved on”

“So what does that have to do with now.....why can’t I just take him back and

be happy?”

“Well, I’m no expert on love.....but I have read a fair few books....so I can

tell you the

general consensus of opinion”

“Go on then, I’m listening”

“Buffy, you grew up......you changed.....and Angel wasn’t there with

you.....the old Buffy still loves Angel.....but you have moved on.....your not

‘the old Buffy’ anymore......and if there is one thing the books are agreed

on, it’s that you can never go back.....once love has moved on, then that is

that!”

Buffy thought about Willow’s words....they felt right.......when she thought

of Angel she felt something like brotherly love for him......she cared *about*

him.......and she could think back and clearly acknowledge the passionate love

that she had once had for him......but Willow’s words had helped her realise

one important thing.....she no longer loved Angel passionately.....Willow was

right.....she *had* moved on!

“Willow.....I gotta go think about all this....”

“OK.....I understand......but you will call me back again....you won’t just

disappear on

me?”

“I promise Willow.....I’ll call back”

“.....and Willow....”

“What?”

“Thank you for being my friend” said Buffy as she gently returned the

receiver to its

cradle and laid her head back onto the pillow.

Finally she had some direction for her thoughts.....she laid on the bed and

stared at the ceiling while her mind began to search through her memories,

trying to restore some semblance of order to her battered emotions.

Angel and Spike....on the surface, so much alike.......but when you got to

know them, the differences were so obvious.

Angel was quiet and cautious......always thinking before he lept.....always

wondering if he was doing the right thing......trying to live with a guilt

that was tearing him apart. Buffy thought back to the many tight situations

she had found herself in.....sometimes Angel would be there to help her, but

often he was

not......sometimes he had to be fetched to help and even then he came

cautiously.....always taking the back seat to her lead.

And then their was Spike......he always seemed to know exactly what he wanted

and he’d go after it with a single minded passion......often it appeared that

he would leep into something without thinking, but that wasn’t true.....Spike

never acted without thinking things through......he just did his thinking

subtly and quickly. And Spike felt no guilt at his existence, he accepted

what he was and lived with it.....no guilt trip there. She knew that if she

was with Spike, that she would never fight alone......he would be

there...count on it.....and he wouldn’t be behind her, he’d be beside her all

the way. No one would ever have to go and drag Spike to come and help her!

But she was forgetting one important fact here......Angel had a soul and Spike

was a

Demon. But no.....that didn’t feel right. When Angel had lost his soul and

became

Angelus, he had not a single thread of compassion or love in him.....Spike was

a demon but Buffy knew she had sensed love within him, even in his demon

state.

Buffy’s mind continued to whirl around, until at some point it called a halt

to the endless analyisation and Buffy drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter 12

You’ve been with him now you come back, my lady

What’s he like?

Here’s my heart, feel the power

It will be torture and bliss

(Young: San Un Madona)

Buffy awoke just as night had started to fall. Quickly she dressed and was

just about to leave the bedroom when she came to a halt. She turned around

and moved back to her dressing table and stared at herself in the mirror for a

few moments. Then she reached up and undid the clasp that held the cross to

her neck and gently placed it on the table. Then she reached in her bag and

withdrew all the tools of her trade and laid them into the draw.

Defenseless she moved into the night, in search of one of the deadliest

vampires to ever walk the face of the earth.

_______________

Buffy stood in the middle of Spike’s empty apartment and listened for any

sound of

movement. 'Nope..the place is definitely empty' she thought to herself as she

moved to flick on the light switch. As light flooded the room, Buffy saw to

her relief, that all his things were still here. 'OK, so wherever he is he

will eventually come back here......I’ll just have to wait it out!'

Buffy had entered the apartment through the broken window which had been

caused by the minion Vamp fleeing when she had scared him that first night at

Spike’s apartment. Spike hadn’t had the window fixed yet.....instead it had

been boarded over, so it had been a relatively easy task to break some of the

wood and gain entry. Not forgetting the vulnerability of the person she was

seeking, Buffy moved back to the broken wood and spent some time repairing

it....trying to ensure that no light would enter as dawn approached. Then she

turned and contemplated the apartment.

For the first time in days she felt a degree of peace steal into her

soul.......even though Spike was not here, being around his things gave her

comfort.

Slowly she sank into a chair and prepared to wait out his return. A glance at

the clock told her it was now 3a.m, so she still had some time to wait. 'No

problem.....in the scheme of the current problems, waiting was minor!'

Briefly, she considered the risk she was putting herself in. Spike might not

be pleased to see her, and he might even decide to attack....and here she was

without even a cross! Buffy discarded the idea.......if her feelings about

Spike were correct, then he wouldn’t harm her.....and if she was wrong, then

there was no point living anyway! In coming here unarmed, she hoped to show

him that she trusted him.

Buffy continued to sit and wait. She didn’t turn on the TV or stereo, she

just sat and

waited for the door to open and Spike to arrive. At some point, she must have

dozed off to sleep, because when she awoke, dawn was well on its way across

the sky.

Leaping up, she tore round the apartment....no Spike! 'So where was

he.....dawn was up!' Suddenly she came to a halt.....'maybe he was with Dru.

He believed her to be happily back with Angel, so why should he not return to

Dru? Maybe he was still in love with Vampiress and had only helped her escape

out of some lingering degree of loyalty for the experiences they had shared!'

At the thought of Spike with Dru, Buffy felt an overwhelming sense of dispare

creep over her. 'Is this how he must have felt seeing me with Angel?', she

thought to herself....finally understanding how much she must have hurt him.

“Oh God, what have I done” she whispered into the empty apartment.

and then after a brief pause,

“Please let me have the chance to talk to him, just once....please” she

begged the empty space.

But the empty apartment refused to promise her anything. The sound of silence

closed in around her and intensified her dispare.

....Finally, Buffy realised that she was actually hungry, so she moved into

the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Nothing.....completely empty.

Quickly she moved round the kitchen searching. On the exterior the kitchen

looked like any normal kitchen....a toaster sat on the counter top, and

various other kitchen utensils sat dotted around, but that is where the

similarities ended......every single cabinet and draw was completely empty.

The kitchen was nothing but a show place to hide his true nature from anyone

who might visit unasked.

Buffy didn’t know why she was surprised......she knew he didn’t eat or

drink human food, but it still bothered her that there was no signs of

humanity in the

kitchen. She thought back to Angel’s apartment.....he had always kept

something in for unexpected visitors.....just in case!

Sighing, she realised that a trip to the store would be needed. If there was

one thing she truly hated, it was shopping for food! Still, she could use the

fresh air.....and there was no chance that she would miss Spike while she was

out....the sun was high in the sky, and wherever he was, he was deep in The

Sleep.

Buffy grabbed her purse and moved to the front door. Carefully, she hooked

the door

onto the latch so that she could get back in, and then she moved out into the

blinding daylight.

_______

By the time Buffy returned to the apartment, dusk was beginning to chase the

sun from the skys.

After she had left the apartment that morning, she had found that she had no

desire to return to it immediately. Instead, she had wandered around the park

before slipping into a fast food restaurant to satisfy her growing hunger.

Then, she had taken herself window shopping in an attempt to redirect her mind

from the constant thoughts of Spike. As the afternoon sun had started to

fade, she had turned her feet back in the direction of Spike’s apartment.

Moving into the apartment she took a quick look around....no change, she was

still alone. She returned to the kitchen and placed her one purchase, a six

pack of beer, into the fridge.....then broke one loose from the pack and

popped the top.

Moving back into the livingroom, she sank into the chair and took a long sip

from the

can, before lighting a cigarette and reaching for the TV remote. Flicking on

the TV and scanning the channels, she sat back and prepared to wait the night

out.

Around 10pm she roused herself to take a brief shower before returning, to her

perch in the living room, wearing only a T-shirt of Spike’s that she had found

in his bedroom. The T-shirt was huge on her, but she felt comfortable in

it.....it made her feel like he was closer.

...The last time Buffy remembered checking the time, had been just before the

2 a.m. feature film presentation. Sometime during the film she must have

dozed off, because a quick glance at the clock told her it was now closer to

4a.m. What had woken her? She sensed she was not alone anymore.

Spike stood in the hallway outside his front door, and thought about entering.

He knew the Slayer was in there.....he could smell her, smell the beer, smell

the smoke, smell the lingering scent of her shower. 'What in the hell does

she want from me!' he thought to himself. He knew he should turn and walk

away, it would be dangerous for him to be near any human at the moment

considering his present state of mind. If Buffy had come to taunt, he might

just do something that he could regret for the rest of his life!

But instead of turning and walking away, he reached out his hand and opened

the door to his apartment and moved inside. His eyes immediately sought and

found the Slayer. If it had been possible, his heart would have managed a

beat.......she looked beautiful standing there in his T-shirt with her hair

mussed up around her face. More than anything, he wanted to grab her and kiss

her, but instead he hardened his heart and eyes against her.....he would not

let himself be vulnerable to her charms again!

“You know Slayer, there is one redeeming aspect to vampires......they never

enter

uninvited” he said as he pointedly acknowledged her breaking and entering of

his

apartment.

Buffy didn’t reply, she just watched him carefully.....she looked for any sign

of weakness towards her, but found only hardness in his eyes.

Spike took off his coat and threw it onto a chair back, before sinking into

another

armchair and looking over at the Slayer.

“So what’s up....to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit.......Angel throw

you out as

soiled goods?”

Buffy felt like she had been stabbed in the guts, but she squared her

shoulders and looked him straight in the eye.

'Damn', thought Spike as he watched the Slayer pull herself up, she still had

her

spunk.....and if he was truthful with himself, her pride and her courage was

one of the

things that he had always admired in the Slayer. He found that he was pleased

that she still had her pride and was prepared to meet him face to face with

out degenerating to tears and begging. Begging would not have been the

Slayer......and even though he sensed he could do it, he found that he had no

wish to break her pride.

“If you’re finished, I have something I’d like to say” said Buffy raising her

head to a

regal angle.

Spike motioned in her direction, effectively giving her the floor...

“I’m not sorry for what I did....it had to be done....I had to have time to

figure out what

was going on in my heart......now I know...”

She paused and took a deep breath. Saying the next words to those cold hard

eyes, would be one of the biggest risks of her life. For all she knew, he was

happily back with Dru!

Spike watched as the emotions played across her face, and he was aware of the

exact moment that she resolved her mind to continuing. What he wasn’t

prepared for, was the next words from her lips.

The Slayer raised her eyes to his,

“Spike....I came here to tell you that I love you.....and that if you can

forgive me, I’d like to stay with you.”

Chapter 13

when you walk through a storm,

hold your head up high,

and don’t be afraid of the dark,

Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain

And you’ll never walk alone,

You’ll never walk alone......

(R&H, You’ll Never Walk Alone)

Spike sat in stunned speechlessness and stared at the Slayer in total shock.

Buffy didn’t waver under his cold eyes.....she continued to stand proudly and

quietly,

while she waited for him to speak.

“Slayer, this can’t ever work.....I’m not Angel.....I have no Soul....I make

the very beings that you seek to destroy” said Spike slowly

“I never said it would be easy.....just that my love for you means that I am

willing to

compromise.....I am willing to work this out.....and by the way.....I don’t

believe that you have *no* soul” replied Buffy.

Spike was silent for a few moments while he contemplated her words...

“There is more to it than that, Slayer.......have you thought about the fact

that I can live forever......how will you feel as begin your human aging and I

stay young?”

“Slayer’s don’t grow old......we all die young....you know that” said Buffy

woodenly

Spike felt a jolt of pain at her words, as the reality of her Slayer existence

impacted on him for the first time. She had excepted her fate....be he found

that he could not.

“Spike, what you have to ask yourself is....do you love me.....do you want to

be with me for the short time that I will be on this earth.......if not, tell

me now and I’ll go”

In a flash, Spike was on his feet and beside the Slayer.

“Hey” he said gently as he reached out and touched her face, “No one around

here is

dying young”

“Don’t make me a promise you can’t keep......just make me one you can, tell me

you’ll love me while I exist on this earth” said Buffy

In answer, Spike reached out and pulled her into his arms and covered her

mouth with his. It wasn’t a gentle embrace.....it was violent and

powerful.....as Spike raged with the emotion of accepting his love for her,

combined with the fact that she probably would be ripped from him before long.

Buffy didn’t care about the violence of his embrace.....she welcomed it and

responded to him with equal passion. She wrapped her arms round his

shoulders, as rational thought fled. Her body responded to the familiar feel

of his cold body as it touched hers....she lost herself in the protective

strength of his embrace and the scent that was so uniquely his.

With a groan, Spike lifted her into his arms and strode to the bedroom.

“This time there will be no interruptions, Slayer” he said as he placed her on

the bed and moved to join her.

They immediately began to move as one, using their bodies, hearts, and souls

to tell the other that it really would be OK....that they could work it out.

Just when Buffy thought she couldn’t stand it any longer, Spike rolled over,

taking her with him, using his hands to hold her poised above him.......then,

keeping his eyes firmly on hers, he lowered her onto him. As he sank into

her, his eyes closed and he groaned her name, “Buffy”.

Buffy felt the passion explode at the sound of her name.....not Slayer this

time....but

finally, Buffy.....and it was said with such need and desire that Buffy just

knew he had to love her, even though he hadn’t yet said it.

Looking down, she saw that his control had completely deserted him. His face

had gone Vamp.....but it didn’t matter. Slowly she lowered her mouth to cover

his, as she began to move slowly against him. But the slowness didn’t

last....their need for each other was to great........and as the world

exploded around him, she heard him say it.....

“I love you”

.......Epilogue..........

Spike pulled the car over to the curb and turned off the engine. He didn’t

say anything, he just looked at the girl sitting beside him trying to judge

her reaction.

Buffy, looked through the darkness to the house she had once called home.

Somewhere in there her mother waited. Spike had insisted that she call and

warn her mother that she was coming home.

“Go on, get it over with” he said finally

Buffy looked at him....

“I’m not scared to go in Spike, it’s something else....”

Spike raised a questioning eyebrow and waited for her to elaborate.

“I can’t go back to being a child......I can’t walk into that house and go

back to rules and regulations about dating and what time I come home at......I

have gone way beyond that”

Spike nodded slowly, understanding where she was coming from

“So, baby, what do you want to do?”

“Lets go find a place to live” she said matter of factly.....but inside she

was coiled

tight....would Spike want her living with him on a permanent basis?

“What about your mother, your friends.....what will they think about you

shacking up

with a Vamp?”

“What they think doesn’t matter.....this is between you and me.....they can

either deal or not.....that’s their business”

Buffy paused for a moment as she tried to find the right words......

“What matters is that you *want* me there with you”

“It depends what you want Slayer......lets not forget our basic natures

here.....I’ll never be a domesticate toy boy” said Spike in warning

“A domestic life is not what lies ahead of me” replied the Slayer

Spike nodded in acknowledgment of her words. She was right.....they would

never be a normal domesticated couple.....some things could never

change.....he was a Vampire and she was a Slayer and that spelt for an

interesting combination. But maybe they could find strength in each

other.......and having her near him meant he could keep an eye on her while he

tried to keep her outta trouble!

Finally he turned and smiled at her, as he reached to start the car.

“OK baby, gotta any idea of where we are going to find the perfect apartment

to suit our needs.....”

Buffy smiled in relief as he pulled the car away from the curb.......

The End

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