Wow.

YAY!

So, want the run down?  There is a little personal commentary in there, well, because it's my review and I can't help it!  But the facts are all there.  If it's not in quotation marks, it's not an exact quote.  But if it is, I must have thought it was important (or incredibly cool).

Oh, and the Bot will probably stay quiet for most of this episode review as he's in the corner pouting a bit for having to look at "that pathetic sot, Willie" while I drooled all over him.  There will be some *serious* making up to do later.

The episode starts out panning around a Victorian room, with the caption "Royal London Hotel.  1880".  First we hear laughter, then double doors open and Drusilla and William walk in, gnawing and pawing at each other, as per usual.  In fact, Drusilla even says to William "Such a hungry little kitty."  Guess I need to go get a catJ

Oh, and William does Spike's tongue against the teeth thing.  :::sigh::::

There's some talking between the two and Dru mentions Angelus.  William asks who she is talking about.  Then Angelus comes out of the shadows, complete with bad Irish accent (although it has improved).

Angelus calls him Willie.  Okay, I am now positively certain that ME is sneaking into my LJ.  Hmmm ? who wrote "Training Willie" almost a year ago?

Dru wants to know if Angel is cross for turning William.  Angel, surprisingly, says that he's glad to have another "rooster in the hen house."  Oh, and the way he says it is just a little bit slashy to say the least.

There is a testosterone induced burn-your-hand-in-sunlight test between the two of them (do Vampires have testosterone?), followed by cackled laughter.

Flash to present day.  Angel and Spike are walking across the lobby of W&H, bantering as usual, Spike following Angel towards his office.  Harmony stops them and tells Spike he has mail.  That surprises him a bit.  Harmony hands him the package, until Spike reminds her that he's a ghost and she opens it for him.  There's a flash and all the phones start ringing and lights flashing.

My fave line in the episode.  Spike to Harmony.  "Well, that was a slap and a tickle."

:::Nim smacks Bot's hand.  He liked that line too.  "Bot!  Not now!"
    "Come on, Love.  I'll show you a slap and a tickle"
    "In a few, hungry kitty."
    "Rooooar":::::

Spike goes walks off, unimpressed, to torment Angel some more and just as he gets to the door, BAM!  He walks right into it.

Dunh, dunh, DUNH!  He's solid again!

Credits

Cut to commercial.

::::"MMMM, Bot!  I lurve it when you….Oh!  Show's back on."
     "You and that bloody show."
     "Got you here."
     (Raised eyebrow) "Oh, right."::::

We return to Spike picking himself off the floor outside of Angel's office with a bloody nose.  He's realizing he's solid again and begins to pat himself and then Angel.  Angel seems to like it at first, and then snaps "Stop touching me!"  Oh, the Spangels are going to have a *field* day with this.

Spike steals Angel's blood and drinks it down, asking him if it's otter.  Tee hee.

Gunn comes into the picture and Spike catches him in a bear hug.  Gunn asks what's wrong with Spike, then realizes Spike's solid again.  Angel calls Harmony over and Spike gives her a monstrous kiss.  Then he decides he'd like to see if everything is solid and begins to drag her off.  I didn't like this part.  I'd like to forget it.  Can I forget that happened?

:::"What, the bloke got some?"
     "Pig!  What about Buffy?"
    "I'm not getting into this with you, Pet.  You know I think they're love is all eternal and what not."
   "You're just saying that to get into my pants."
    ::::satisfied smirk::: "Maybe." ::::

Anyway, Spike and Harmony take off.  Harmony protests at first and then Spike stops, tells her she is wearing a nice skirt, and gives her a really, really, yummy smile.  And she runs off like a kitten in heat.

There are those damn cats again.

Did I mention that I didn't like that part?

Okay, so flash to 1880.  Will and Angelus are in a carriage, talking about massacring a wedding.  Angelus has the bride leaned against him, still barely alive as they joke about how they killed all of them.

William then begins to talk about Dru.  He wants to go and find her and hunt with her because he thinks she'd like that.  Aw, how thoughtful?  The family that kills together stays together and all.  William tells Angel that Dru is his destiny, and Angel stops the carriage and lets William out.

Back to the present.  Spike and Harmony commandeer an office, kicking its occupant out.  The office guy heads down the hall and begins to complain to the copier guy.  The man at the copier turns around, his eyes bleeding, and starts yammering about the toner. He then proceeds to bludgeon office guy to death with a fire extinguisher.  Yum.

Fred, Gunn, and Angel are walking across the lobby, because it seems that that's what they do, and talking about the problem with the phones and computers.  They head into Angel's office and Gunn tells Fred that Spike is off having a nooner with Harmony.  Fred is confused.  Gunn starts to explain to Fred what a nooner is.

Uh, Gunn, she only *looks* innocent.

Fred then realizes Spike is corporeal and her little scientific mind goes into overdrive connecting the problems with the office and the phones with what happened to Spike.

Just then, Eve walks into the office with all the answers, because, well, that's what she does.  She explains that what's going on is a Harbinger, although she won't explain to what.  She does explain that it has to do with the Shanshu Prophesy.  Eve begins to go over the prophesy with all of them yet again.  Well, maybe that's a *good* idea, since they don't seem to realize that Spike has already *met* all of the criteria.

:::::"You tell 'em, Love.  Prophesy doesn't belong to that poncy bugger."
    :::snuggles into Bot while typing::::  "I know that!"::::

Anyway, Eve points out to Fred and Gunn that the Prophesy doesn't name the Vampire with a Soul anywhere.  This seems to surprise
the other too.

Zoinks!

Eve explains that there were two Vampires with souls before Spike died to save the world.  And honestly, that put Spike ahead in the race.  But he died, so the race was over.  But now he's back and the fabric of reality is disintegrating.  There should only be one.

Eve seems to be under the impression that Fred brought Spike back (or at least that's what she pretends.  The girl is not a particularly good actress for this role, so it's hard to tell if she was badly covering the fact she knew Fred hadn't done it, or badly acting the scene).  Angel explains to Eve that it came in the mail.

Like the amulet?  Eve asks.

Oooh!

The last thing we see is Spike on top of Harmony on top of the desk.  Then Harmony's eyes bleed and she takes a bite out of Spike.

Did I mention that I don't like this part?

Strange thought, which I already could disprove but I'll write it anyway.  I wonder if Spike came back human and then when Harmony bit him…

Nah.

Anyway, cut to commercial.
 

~~~~~~ End Part One

Back to the part that I didn't like.

Spike screams at Harmony and jumps off.

Now, here's the thing.  He hops off, jeans still on, belt still buckled.  No re-fettering required.  And she's still dressed too.

I chose to believe that they hadn't gotten that far yet.  I think they were… well, drying it.  Like teenagers.  That's not so bad.

::::"Pet, I don't …"
    Shooting evil eye at Bot.
  "You're right Pet.  Dry-humping all the way."
   "Good." ::::

Anyway Harmony begins to scream at Spike that he doesn't want her.  He only wants his Slayer whore.

Whoa, there Nelly.  She may have made me mad too, but let's not go…

Never mind.  Spike takes care of it and cold cocks her as she comes at him telling him she wants to kill him.  Didn't really have a choice.

Back to the toner guy.  The poor office bloke is dead on the floor, Lorne is bleeding and the Toner guy is strapped to a gurney.  Toner is written on the wall in blood.  Angel is telling security to shut down the building.  The Security guy is telling his walky talky that they should be "Closing Pandora's Box"

That, I liked.

Lorne goes off to his room and Eve and Angel walk off.  Eve tells Angel that the problem is that there are now two Vampires with souls who are Champions and blah blah blah.  They meet up with Spike coming out of the office as Eve is telling Angel that the world is unraveling.  Spike tells Eve and Angel what happened with Harmony.  Eve tells them that the town isn't big enough for the both of
them.

Spike seems to be fine with that.  He'd rather be in Europe anyway.  Gee, I wonder why?

:::"I'd rather be here in.. Where are we again?"
     "Baltimore, Bot."
    "Right then.  Here with you."
     Nuzzles to the Bot.  "You're so sweet."""""

Eve explains that by town she means plane of existence.  Spike doesn't care.  If he's going to be unraveled, he'd rather be…

Gunn comes off the elevator and explains that the big cat is gone.  The white room is gone.  It's a screaming void.  Which is loud. Apparently, very loud.

But wait, Angel asks Spike to stay.

Hunh?

No, wait.  Angel begs him to stay.

Ok.  I liked that part.

Okay, now we're in Sirk's office.  One of Wesley's crew, since he's on his honeymo… hiatus.  Sirk is a pompous, arrogant, Englishman (wait, wasn't that last week?) and explains to Angel that there is no comparison between what Angel has read and the real prophesy.

Gunn states simply.  "I miss Wesley."

So do I, Gunn.  So do I.

Sirk begins to read the prophesy explaining that there are two roots (that part is metaphor) that seek nourishment from the buried river and the banks will falter until one drinks out of the Cup!o!Perpetual!Torment (which is *not* metaphor).  What is in the cup will crush and grind the Vampire with a soul (are we ret conning here a bit, because I don't remember all this in To Shanshu in LA?) until
he saves the world or destroys it.

Hmmm… maybe Buffy is the Cup of Perpetual Torment and Spike ALREADY QUALIFIES, DAMMIT!

Anyway, that Vampire will then be granted humanity.  Spike and Angel bicker back and forth as to which one of them is the one.  Sirk assures them that who drinks from the cup is predestined.  Whoever does it is the one that is meant to do it.

So, where is the cup?

Oh, it's in Nevada.

Flashback to "The Stand" anyone?

Specifically, it's in an Opera House called "The Columns" in Death Valley.  Angel says he's going and begins to tell everyone what to do while he's gone.  He gets up to leave and turns.

"Where's Spike?"

Hmmm…. Where do you think, Poof?

Flash to Spike listening to punk in one of Angel's cars, zipping along the highway and *gulp* doing the
Silly!Head!Bob!Dance!of!Nim!Torture's cousin.  A phone rings.  Spike picks it up.

Angel yells at Spike for stealing his Viper.

Boys and their toys.

Angel is in a car behind Spike, talking on one cell phone as Spike banters back in the other.  Okay, I liked this part.  Spike with a cell phone makes me laugh.  Reminds me of the "Up for a little rough and tumble?" pay phone moment.

::::"Oh, so shall I call you at work tomorrow, Love?"
    :::Nim shudders in delight::::::

They argue for a moment before Spike begins to make that "kkkrssshhhrsrrs""" breaking up noise into the phone and tells Angel he's breaking up, then slams down the phone.

"Ponce"

"Idiot"

Back at the Evil!Law!Firm, Gunn is barking orders into his walky talky.  Eve comes in.  Gunn is on to her.  They discuss Gunn's distrust of her for a moment as an employee with an axe comes at them outside the office.  Someone tackles the axe-guy in the hall, just as he breaks the windows.

Gunn leaves to check it out and warns Eve not to finger the robots.

Am I missing something there?

We see Angel's car heading down a dusty road to the opera house.  Then we are inside with Angel, walking around in the dark.  As Angel stops to look around,  he sees Spike on a landing above him (symbolism, much?  Angel is down and in the dark.  Spike is up and in the light).  They argue a moment, then Angel takes off up the stairs, chasing Spike.

Flashback to 1880.

Spike comes round the corner into the hotel bedroom and Angel's… well… let's say he's making use of the Anklet!of!Lurve with Dru. William is mortified and obviously hurt.  Angel turns to see William.  Dru seems to be confused as to why William is upset.  But Angel throws William's words about Dru back in his face.  So much for William's destiny.

Ok, did anyone else's heart break?

:::Nim shoots evil glare at Bot:::::

Back to present day.  Angel sees a golden chalice on a pedestal in front of him, lit by a white light.  As Angel walks towards it, Spike jumps down from the rafters just behind him, and they walk towards the chalice together.

"Thought it'd be a little less goldeny what with the torment and all," Spike quips.  I liked that partJ

Both regard the Cup for a moment, before Angel asks "So, what do we do now?"

Spike turns and cold-cocks Angel.

:::"Yeah!  Beat the shrimp out of that poof!"
    "Beat the Shrimp, Pet?"
    "Well, if he had Shrimp."
    "We'll have a little talk about battle words later, Love."
    Nim raises eyebrow.  "Promise?" :::::

Cut to commercial

~~~~~~ End part two of review.
 
 

Back to the story.  :::Bot, honey, I need my hand back…:::

Close up on the cup.  I'm getting Monty Python flashbacks, which is really taking away some of the poignancy of the scene.  Man, I hate it when that happens.

Angel is struggling on the floor as Spike walks towards the cup.  Of course, Angel isn't too happy about this which give me my *other* favourite quotation of the episode.  Spike says to Angel, "Keep your knickers dry, Sally."

Well, Sally might, but …

Angel gets up and the undead boys get to fighting.  Spike is telling Angel that he thinks he's fighting for "Truth, Justice, and Soccer Moms" but the cross he fell on when Spike hit him still sizzled him.  Angel rebounds telling Spike that he's no different.  But Spike says he is.

Spike tells Angel that Angel was cursed with a soul as a punishment for all the vile things he did.  Spike fought for his.  Took all the demon's trials (No! Not Lurky!), and *won* his.  That this is *his* (Spike's) Destiny.

You tell him, Blondie Bear.

Angel replies that he thought it was just to get into a girl's pants.

Hate to tell you this, Angel, but Spike was in her pants long before the soul.

Flash to the lab where Fred is trying to explain her theory of what is happening to Eve and Gunn.  Gunn's head is down as if he has a headache.  When he lifts his eyes, they are bleeding and he begins to call Eve to the carpet about who and what she is.  Then he attacks her, throwing her up against a wall and holding her there by her neck, strangling her.

Fred goes to help Eve and Gunn throws a punch, knocking poor Twiggy to the floor.  He returns to strangling Eve, until Fred comes back and hits him on the back of the head, knocking Gunn out.

Back at the Home!of!the!Cup, Spike and Angel are dueling with rebar, beating each other to a pulp.  Spike is definitely getting the upper hand, knocking Angel to the ground and leaning over him, telling asking him why he thinks he deserves the cup when he's working for the bad guy.

Good point, Spikey!

:::"Told you that bloke's got all the lights on, Kitten."
   :::Nim purrs:::: "Love it when you call me that."::::

Angel then gets his wits (well, as much as he can) and turns the tables, knocking Spike for a loop.

Flashback to 1880.

William and Angel begin to fight over Dru.  Angelus calls him Willie.

Spike corrects him, telling him it's William.  Angel tells him he needs to pick a name that will strike more fear into the hearts of the innocent.

Drusilla comes into the room and Angel walks to her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.  He tells William if he wants, Drusilla, he'll have to come and get her.  Dru holds her arms out and William starts towards them, anger in his expression.

Back to the present.

Spike attacks Angel again, knocking him down once more.  Now it's time to get the truth on!  Spike leans down and tells Angel that Dru may have sired him, but *he* (Angel) turned him into a monster.

YAY!

Angel struggles back up and they fight some more until Spike clobbers Angel with a huge cross, then stands there holding it.  Even though I knew better, he held it long enough that it made me wonder.  My Stars! Did they change his mind and make him human????

No, he begins to sizzle lightly after a while, but it's in direct contrast to Angel who burnt earlier as soon as the cross touched his skin. Spike tosses the cross nonchalantly to the side and walks towards the fallen Angel.

Something I found intriguing… All the while Spike talks to Angel in this next bit, there is a statue of the Buddha in the background, with his hands up in lotus position.  Hmmm.  It's actually mid-frame and Spike is slightly to the left of it.  Very hmmm….

Angel is collapsed against a wall and tells Spike that Buffy never really loved him for one reason.  Spike wasn't him.

Grrrrrr… My Spuffy soul is going all fangy.

Spike is furious and goes to Angel, lifting him and up saying that that was odd.  She must have been thinking of Angel all the times he "put it to her" then.

I *really* didn't like that part.

:::;"Love, they were baiting each other.  Blokes say things that they don't really mean when they're in a fisty cuffs."
::::Nim glares again at the Bot::::  "Uh, would you say something like that bout me?"
::::Stuttering.  "Course… course, not, Pet."
::::"Good.  Now, be a good Bot and give me a rub down."
::::Raising eyebrow.  "Yes, ma'am.  My pleasure."::::

Both Vamps go into game face and they begin to fight in earnest.

Cut to commercial.

(Dogs French-kissing humans?  What's the world coming to????)

~~~~End Part 3
 
 

Eve is looking shaken, sitting in a chair, her neck badly bruised.  Fred brings water and tries to be nice to her.  Eve doesn't believe it. She tells Fred that it's okay; Fred doesn't have to pretend.  Eve knows what Fred, what all of them, really think of her.  Fred tries to explain that Gunn wasn't himself, but Eve doesn't buy it and begins to leave.

She stops in the doorway and turns back to Fred.  "I'm not the bad guy."

:::: "You know, Love.  That's what bad guys usually say."
    "I get that, Bot."
    Bot smiles triumphantly.  "You're a smart one, Pet."::::

Suddenly, we're back in the fight!  Angel cuts Spike with a makeshift stake.  Spike gets it from Angel and slashes Angel as well, getting the upper hand in the fight.  He gets Angel to the floor, then pins him down, holding the stake over Angel, and then…

Spike stakes Angel!

Yes, he does!

You go, boy!

But, as I knew, as we all suspected, he stakes him in the shoulder, purposely missing Angel's heart.  Spike looks down at his grandsire and states that he didn't do it because "she'd" never shut up about it.  I'm guessing that's Buffy (I knew it!).  But, to be honest, I think he didn't do it because he knew it wasn't right to kill Angel.  Not then.

Angel begins to give Spike a speech about how tough a destiny this is as Spike approaches the cup.  Does Spike even want the
destiny?  Or is it that he just wants to one-up Angel?

"A little of both," Spike answers, honestly, and grabs the cup.

Spike takes it.  He drinks.  There's a slow mo of the chalice falling from his hand to the floor, the light still following it (and me still thinking Holy Grail- Python version).  A pregnant pause.

"It's …."

"What?"

"It's… it's… Mountain Dew!"

Angel and Spike look at each other for a moment.

Dunh, dunh, DUNH!

They've been had.

We're back at the lab.  Angel comes in looking very roughed up.  He tells Fred that he fell down a flight of stairs.  A big flight.

Then Spike comes in, looking just as rough, and Fred comments that it was definitely a flight of stairs.

Gunn and Harmony are strapped to tables in the lab, sleeping.  Slowly, Gunn wakes up.  Then Harmony, who asks immediately if she's in trouble.  They're okay.  Whatever had made them all Clockwork Orange bloody-eyed was gone mysteriously.

We're in Angel's office where Eve is briefing Angel, Gunn and Spike.  She blames Sirk and tells Angel that the Senior Partners were just as surprised and upset as he.  Blahdee, blah, blah, and she's off to ice her neck.

As Eve is leaving, Gunn goes to her and apologizes for what he did.  Eve says that it's okay, she's not sweating it.

Spike then decides that it's now time to get his drinking on, since he saved the world and spent a few months as a ghost, he thinks he deserves a bit of imbibing.  He asks Gunn if Gunn would like to join him.  Gunn is still reeling from his brain invasion and declines nicely.  So Spike takes off on his own.

Angel and Gunn sit at the conference table discussing what happened with Spike.  His great Poof-ness admits to Gunn that Spike beat him.  Not just physically, but beat him to the cup.  Gunn points out that it didn't matter because it was a set up.  The cup didn't matter.  It doesn't mean anything.

Angel corrects him.  "It means that he's the one."

Yes, Angel, the rest of the world has known that for quite some time.

However, did anyone else get an ominous feeling?  It's like on Survivor.  Whoever they set up to get kicked of doesn't.  It's the other one.  It was nice to hear Angel say that, but it gave me the creeps.

Then again, ME likes their plot twisties.  The One could be a one-eyed monkey in Biloxi.

Oh!  The end!  I almost forgot.

Okay, no I didn't, but I wanted to make you wait.

:::: "Cruel, Pet… I like that in a woman."
    Nim smiles gleefully:::::

Eve is walking into her apartment, which could have been done by Martha Stewart as she is, as we all know, a demon.  There are runes painted on the walls.  As she walks in, she is talking to someone off camera about how everything worked perfectly.  That they (Fang Gang) bought the whole senior partners thing, and that Sirk disappeared on cue, and they are none the wiser.  As she speaks, she
undresses until, we assume, she's buck naked.

She approaches the bed, informing the unknown person that Spike did not kill Angel, however.  Although she doesn't seem to think whoever-it-is will be too upset.

Then the camera angle opens and Eve crawls in bed with LINDSAY!

Lindsay, Wesley, and Spike on one show?  Is the WB going to handle out nitro tablets to prevent lust induced heart-attacks???

LINDSAY!  (And he is not wholly bad looking at that!)

End of episode

::::"Don't like how you looked at that Lindsay bloke."  Crosses arms indignantly.
    "See, Bot, when girls watch TV, they do things like that…"
     Bot smirks, caught in his own game.  "You wouldn't do that to me?"
    "What, baby?  Drool?"
    "Do that sexy little butt shimmy you do when the boys come on the screen."
   "I do it every time you walk into a room."
    Bot smiles, pressing tongue to the back of his teeth.  "There's hope for you yet.":::::

Fin.

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