Of Course Spike Would Get A Soul!
By Serina


Ambiguity in the last three episodes has left us speculating as to the real nature of Spike's request to the demon in Africa. Did he go to get the chip removed and to get even with The Slayer? Did he go to ask for a soul? The scenes we saw made it appear that Spike's plan might have gone awry. But Spike is not really incompetent. Spike's plans never go the way he thinks they will because he never thinks the entire plan through before putting it into action.  His plans do often ultimately accomplish most of what he set out to do. It's the thing that happens as a result of achieving the goal that is unexpected. Writer Jane Espenson has informed us that Spike went with the express purpose of gaining a soul.

The last thing I expected was that Spike would be given a soul, much less that he would ask for one. I couldn't  imagine that he would want one after working so hard at proving he's still bad and after making so much fun of  Angel. I wanted to see Spike grow more into the pseudo soul he was developing. I wanted to find out why he was  learning and growing the way no other vampire we have seen has. A soul might just take our Spike away. I  lamented the possible loss of our beloved vamp. But then I realized that of course he would want a soul. Of course!  The very reasons we love this vampire are the very reasons he would feel the need to get a soul. Of course!

The theme for season 6 was the human monster. It began at the end of season 5 in The Gift when Giles killed Ben.  Whether he was justified in killing "an innocent," or whether Ben even was "an innocent" may be debatable, but Giles  did a monstrous thing by taking a human life in cold blood. In season 6 Warren, Buffy, and Willow all took turns at  being monsters. Xander and Dawn may not have done monstrous things but they did do "bad" things. Even the  "evil" things Spike and Anya did as monsters were based on human flaws. The humans were confronted with their  inner demons, and the monsters were confronted with their inner humanity.

In Beauty and the Beasts, Dr. Platt said, "Look, Buffy, any person- grownup, shrink, pope- any person who claims to  be totally sane is either lying or not very bright. I mean, everyone has problems. Everybody has demons,  right...demons can be fought. People can change."  The next day she talks to Giles about what Angel could be like  if he returned from the hell dimension. Giles tells her "...In my experience, there are two types of monster. The  first, uh, can be redeemed, or more importantly, wants to be redeemed... The second is void of humanity, cannot  respond to reason, or love."  Spike's journey through the last five seasons has been as the first type of monster, the one who wants to be redeemed, the one who is full of humanity, and who responds to reason and love.

Monsters can be redeemed. We know this already from such characters as Angel and Anya. Unlike those two, Spike made the choice to be "redeemed" long before being given a soul. Granted, he did not stand up one day and  suddenly consciously decide to be redeemed, but over time his actions and choices have led him in this direction.  Angel and Anya were forced into a sort of immediate redemption. Both means achieve the same end and shape a  person but, as Giles stated, it is important to distinguish between the ability to be redeemed and the desire to be redeemed. It is difficult to take ownership of your life when destiny is thrust on you. You can never really take credit  for accomplishments made and there will never be the feeling of satisfaction or deserving when things go well.  There will however, always be resentment, anger, and blame when things go wrong. Remove the destiny and the person is right back to being who they were before. It's why Angelus was a monster again when his soul disappeared. It was never Angelus' choice to be soul having. He never wanted to be redeemed. It's why Anya  jumped at the chance to be a demon again after having been left at the altar. It was never her choice to be in this  life in the first place and as far as she's concerned Anyanka never needed redeeming anyway. Now as it is becoming  her choice she can finally begin to take responsibility for it. Making ones own choice and deciding to live with that  choice alters a person's character far more permanently.

Everything Spike has done has led him, through choices of his own, to where and who he is now. While Spike did not choose to be crippled, it was a consequence of his own actions and he lost a fair fight with The Slayer. He did not choose to lose Dru but again he lost her through the consequences of his own actions. He did choose to return to  Sunnydale, and twice at that and getting stuck with the chip in his head was more bad luck than anything else. It did  not force him into redemption. A chipped Spike can still be a dangerous Spike. But time and time again he allied  himself with the Scoobies when he could have chosen to ally himself with the demon world. While he often blames others for the things that happened to him, ultimately the choices were his.

Spike does respond to reason. But love is not rational and love is blind. If anyone completely embraces that fact, it  is Spike.

SPIKE: ...Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...  blood screaming inside you to work its will. (Lovers Walk)

SPIKE: Oh Pacey, you blind idiot. Can't you see she doesn't love you? (Out of My Mind)

SPIKE: Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn, she's there! That nasty little face, that ... bouncing  shampoo-commercial hair, that whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude. …She follows me, you know, tracks me  down. I'm her pet project. Drive Spike round the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout of torture. …You don't  understand. I can't get rid of her. She's everywhere. She's haunting me, Harmony! …This ... has got to end. (Out of My Mind)

SPIKE: You know what? Do it. Bloody just do it.  …End ... my ... torment. Seeing you, every day, everywhere I go,  every time I turn around. Take me ... out of a world ... that has you in it. Just kill me! (Out of My Mind)

SPIKE: Buffy, I love you. God, I love you so much. Oh, god, no. Please, no. (Out of My Mind)

SPIKE: No, look at me! I ... love you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut ... my throat  ... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you. (Crush)

SPIKE: Look, I, I'm at the end of my bleeding tether. You know? I don't even know why I even bother, you know.  (points at Dru) This is your fault. You're the one to blame for all this…. Bloody right you are! If you hadn't left me  for that chaos demon, I never would have come back here! Never would have had this sodding chip in my skull! And  you - (to Buffy) wouldn't be able to touch me, because this, with you, is wrong. I know it. I'm not a complete idiot.  You think I like having you in here? Destroying everything that was me, until all that's left is you, in a dead shell.  You say you hate it, but you won't leave. You know, what I should just do, is get rid of both of you. Burn you. Cut  you into little pieces so there won't be any more bints to cock up things for Spi- (Crush)

SPIKE: I can't. I love you…. You think I haven't tried not to? (Dead Things)

SPIKE: Me too. The using part. I just wanted to know what I was missing, move on.
 …She was so raw. Never felt anything like it...(Entropy)

SPIKE: It wasn't for you. I wanted something- anything to make this feeling stop. I just wanted it to stop! (Seeing Red)

SPIKE: Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes. (Seeing Red)

Spike, the demon, is full of humanity. It is William's defining human characteristics that consistently come through  n the form of his insecurity and his need to continually prove his worth. Spike does responds to love. Love tends to  bring out the best in him, and it brings out his humanity

Of course he would get a soul. He loves Buffy, and he's obsessed with her. Dru saw that Spike was in love with Buffy  before Spike himself did. In Halloween she already suspected he was falling for her when he couldn't take his eyes off the television screen as he obsessively replayed the video of Buffy. She could barely distract him when she asked, "Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?" His preoccupation with Buffy already at that time is probably why she took up with Angelus so quickly upon his return. It was most likely her attempt to keep Spike by playing on his jealous nature as well as self-preservation in the event she would be unable to hold him.

By the time  they reached Brazil Dru knew she had lost him.

DRUSILLA:But you're lying! I can still see her floating all around you, laughing. Why? Why won't you push her  away?…You can't blame the ghoul, Spike. You're all covered with her. I look at you... all I see is the Slayer.(Fool  For Love)

DRUSILLA: But it's so funny. I knew ... before you did. I knew you loved the Slayer. The pixies in my head  whispered it to me. (Crush)

Riley felt threatened by that love.
SPIKE:Look at you. All afraid I'm hot for your honey.
RILEY:Because you are. (Into The Woods)
Glory guessed it.
GLORY: He wakes up, tell your boyfriend to watch his mouth. (Blood Ties)
It was obvious to Dawn.
DAWN:And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million years. Not with you around. …Spike's totally  into you. …Oh come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike is completely in love with you. (Crush)
Tara was the only one to acknowledge it as real when Buffy confided in her.
TARA: I-It's okay if you do. He's done a lot of good, and, and he does love you…. (Dead Things)
Of course he would get a soul. Spike needs a role to play and his best role is as the other half of a couple. It's the  role he's played for most of his "life". For Dru he was the Big Bad as well as her protector, caretaker, and other half.  By making Spike a vampire, Dru gave him a new purpose and he was able to make a name for himself in the  demon world the way he could not in the human world.

For Dru he was a "man" and for a very long time they made  each other complete.

SPIKE:What do you know? It's your fault, the both of you! She belongs with me. I'm nothing without her. (Lovers  Walk)

SPIKE: …Becoming a vampire is a profound and powerful experience. I could feel this new strength coursing through  me. Getting killed made me feel alive for the very first time…(Fool For Love)

SPIKE: This is Drusilla, girl! You have the slightest idea what she means to me? It's the face of my salvation! She  delivered me from mediocrity. For over a century we ... cut a swath through continents. A hundred years, she never  stopped surprising me. (Crush)

The moment Spike saw Buffy in School Hard he began to lose his edge. He had arrived in Sunnydale as someone  who was competent, confident, in control, in charge, and someone who got what he wanted. He carried with him the reputation of being a Slayer Killer. He was feared by humans and respected by demons. He didn't bow to anyone as  evidenced by his quick work of eliminating The Anointed One and taking over. But his fascination with Buffy, coupled  with the return of Angelus as the dominant vampire, brought out Spike's old William insecurities. And the more enamored Spike became with Buffy, the further he slid from being the vampire he was and the further he got from filling the role he was best at.

He has been trying to find that role again ever since Dru left him. Now he wants to be something for Buffy. With  Buffy he might be able to play the hero.

A long time ago he decided he actually likes the human world and with  Buffy's help he has the potential to become something in it.

SPIKE:  I told you. I want to stop Angel. I want to save the world. …We like to talk big. Vampires do. 'I'm going to  destroy the world.' That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I  like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking  around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real...  passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what  I'm saying? (Becoming 2)

SPIKE: … in our world, you're an idiot. (Intervention)

SPIKE: Hey, I'm a superhero too! (Tabula Rasa)

But the completeness that Spike and Dru shared has been lacking in his relationship with Buffy. He does not  complete Buffy and while Buffy makes him a "better" creature- a man-
SPIKE:I died so many years ago. But you can make me feel like it isn't so ……  But I don't wanna play.  'Cause  being with you touches me more than I can say…. (Once More With Feeling)

She does not complete him. He needs to be Buffy's equal before they can even hope to find completeness in each  other.

He would like to take back his familiar role of protector and caretaker, but up to this point has only really been  allowed to be that with Dawn (who just happens to be a part of Buffy). He tries it with Buffy whenever possible, even  though she often resists.

SPIKE: You were about to be regrouped into separate piles. You needed help.
BUFFY: I didn't need you. I never need you, Spike.
SPIKE: Oh, I get it. You just don't like who did the rescuin', that's all. Wishin' I was your boyfriend what's-his-face.  Oh wait, he's run off.
BUFFY: You know what? I don't need a boyfriend, to rescue me or for any other reason. (Checkpoint)

SPIKE: What's wrong? …Is there something I can do? (Fool For Love)

SPIKE: Um ... We'll take care of you. Come here. (After Life)

SPIKE: Buff? ... Slayer? Are you okay? … Buffy, if you're in ... if you're in pain ... or if you need anything... or if I can  do anything for you... (After Life)

SPIKE: I'm free if that bitch dies! I better help her out (Once More With Feeling)

SPIKE: Life's not a song. Life isn't bliss. Life is just this.   It's living (brushes hair back from her face)    You'll get  along. The pain that you feel. ...you only can heal by living. (Buffy looks about to cry) You have to go one living. So  one of us is living.(Once More With Feeling)

SPIKE:  It's only a matter of time before you realize I'm the only one here for you, pet. You got no one else!  (Smashed)

SPIKE: You don't belong here. You're something ... you're better than this.… I can get money. Walk with me now,  come on. (Doublemeat Palace)

SPIKE: I'm gonna get you home, and you're gonna crawl in your warm comfy bed and stay there!  We're gonna sort  this out. Trust me. (Dead Things)

SPIKE: Here, let's get her back to my crypt…. Put a little ice on the back of her neck.  She likes that.  (Normal Again)

SPIKE: …And stop with the bloody hero trip for a sec…. (Normal Again)

SPIKE: If it'll get me what I need to take care of the Slayer, give her what's coming to her, you just bring it on.  …(Grave)

In Entropy Spike found a brief comfort (or in Anya's words- "solace") in playing the caretaker role for Anya:
ANYA: When, really, I can't sleep at night, thinking - it has to be my fault, somehow-
SPIKE: Shhhhh-
ANYA: I mean, what if he was just pretending? What if he never really wanted me, I mean the way I wanted...(starts to cry) Oh, God... I'm sorry.
SPIKE: (tenderly) Now now...(He wipes the tears from her face) He'd have to be more than just the git he is, Anya.  He'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to want a woman like you.
He would like to be the other half of Buffy. He is not a loner. He's at his best as a strong member of a team or as  the leader of a team.
SPIKE:I can't fight them both alone, and neither can you! (Becoming 2)

SPIKE: …Oh, I'll insult him if I want to! I'm the one who's on your side! (Triangle)

SPIKE: … I don't know what Buffy told you, but the thing is, the Slayer and I worked together, side by side, to get rid of Dru. Who was up to no good. And I don't mind telling you- (I Was Made To Love You)

SPIKE: I worked beside you all summer. (After Life)

SPIKE: Uh, you know, as long as we're both here, you might as well tag along. I mean, as a team we could-  (Smashed)

SPIKE: Yeah. Willow mentioned the shindig ... figured we're all part of the team. (Older And far Away)

When you love someone you find your reflection in the other person, and that reflection makes us more than we  were.
WILLOW: The only thing going for me - were those moments ? Just moments - when Tara would look at me and I  was wonderful. And that will never happen again. (Two To Go)
Like Willow, Spike too finds himself in those moments when he truly shines-
BUFFY:What you did, for me, and Dawn ... that was real. I won't forget it.(Intervention)
When he is no longer pathetic, but needed-
BUFFY:I need your help. (Checkpoint)

BUFFY:Just find her ... please. (Blood Ties)

BUFFY:Slayers. You killed two of them. …You're gonna show me how. (Fool For Love)

DAWN:I, I mean, you have that whole ... superpower thing, and ... you're just as tough as Buffy is, maybe tougher.  Buffy thinks so too.(Crush)

BUFFY:Spike, I need your help, Dawn is- (Crush)

BUFFY: I'm sorry it took me so long, but Dawn's safe with Spike, so I-I can stay as long as you need. (Tough Love)

BUFFY:We have to find her. (All The Way)

BUFFY:… So any idea what's causing this? (Once More With Feeling)

SPIKE: …  And as for your work, you need me. Like tonight. (Wrecked)

BUFFY:I need information. (As You Were)

BUFFY:She feels safe with him. We don't have a choice, Xander. Right now - he's all we've got. (Villains)

And when he is Buffy's only hope-
BUFFY:He's here because we need him. …. If Glory finds us, he's the only one besides me that has any chance of  protecting Dawn…. Look, this isn't a discussion! He stays. Get over it. (Spiral)

GILES: Well, Buffy has a point. In a confrontation, Spike may prove ...useful. (Spiral)

BUFFY:I'm counting on you ... to protect her. (The Gift)

BUFFY:Tell me you love me….Tell me you want me. (As You Were)

After he lost Buffy in The Gift, his sense of purpose remained. Because of her request that he protect Dawn, and her last wish that all her friends take care of each other, Spike stayed with the group and did his best to honor those requests.

But after the bathroom encounter he lost everything. Buffy had told him she did not trust him enough to love him, yet she had trusted him with her life, her family's life, her friends lives, and the fate of the world. She had handed  him her own role. He had scoffed at the idea of trust, yet he had managed to build trust. And he broke that trust in an instant - in a moment of wanting what he wanted. Just as Willow felt the world come crashing down when she  would never again shine in Tara's eyes, Spike was devastated when he realized he would probably never again  shine in Buffy's eyes.

He had gone from the trusted protector to nothing.

SPIKE:It won't let me be a monster. And I can't be a man. I'm nothing. (Seeing Red)
Of course he would get a soul because maybe, just maybe, he can be something in her eyes again.

Of course he would get a soul, because Buffy deserves it.

Buffy deserves not to be ashamed.

BUFFY:I swear to god, if you tell *anyone* about last night, I will kill you(Wrecked)

INVISIBLE BUFFY:What's the matter? Ashamed to be seen with me? (Gone)

BUFFY:I'm not telling my friends about us. (Entropy)

SPIKE: I know you feel like I do. You don't have to hide it anymore. (Seeing Red)

She deserves to not be disgusted with herself.
BUFFY:Will you quit that? The only thing that's different is that I'm disgusted with myself. That's the power of your  charms. Last night ... was the most perverse ... degrading experience of my life. (Wrecked)
She deserves something worthy of the admiration and respect he has for her.
SPIKE:Here it comes. Rewind that. Let's see that again. She's tricky. Baby likes to play. You see that? The way she  stakes him with that thing? That's what's called resourceful. Rewind it again. (Halloween)

SPIKE: She's a lot more than that. The Slayer's dangerous is all I'm saying. …No. See? You're not getting it, Mr.  Bits. You're gonna be interestingly dead. Little Miss Tiny's got a habit of bollixing up the plans of every would-be,  unstoppable bad-ass who sets foot in this town. (The Yoko Factor)

SPIKE: … Mark my words, the Slayer ... is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take  a cheap, whorish, fashion victim ex-god like you.  (Intervention)

SPIKE: Oh. I see. That why you took this job? Prove something to yourself? A normal job for a normal girl? Good  way to drive yourself crazy, that is. … You don't belong here. You're something ... you're better than this. (Doublemeat Palace)

And she should never have to stoop so low.
SPIKE:I may be dirt ... but you're the one who likes to roll in it, Slayer.(Wrecked)

SPIKE: We were never together. Not really. She'd never lower herself that far.(Seeing Red)

She deserves someone she can trust.
BUFFY:What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just ... holding you back. You're like a serial  killer in prison! (Crush)

DAWN:Well, she's always worried about what she's gonna do if you ever get that chip out of your head. (Crush)

SPIKE:… Utter trust. No thought of me biting you, no thought of you staking me. (Tabula Rasa)

SPIKE: Do you trust me?
BUFFY: Never.(Dead Things)

SPIKE:  …We're gonna sort this out. Trust me. (Dead Things)

BUFFY:And I'm not here to bust your chops about your stupid scheme, either. That's just you. I should have  remembered. (As You Were)

BUFFY:I'm not saying I don't have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to  become that. (Seeing Red)

BUFFY:Ask me again why I could never love you. (Seeing Red)

She deserves to be loved with real love. He wants her to know it's the real thing.
SPIKE:Yeah, but - You are missing the point. This is real here. I love-(Crush)

SPIKE: No, it's not that easy. We have something, Buffy. It's not pretty, but it's real, and there's nothing either one  of us can do about it. (Crush)

DOC:I don't smell a soul anywhere on you. Why do you even care? (The Gift)

SPIKE: I care. What he did to you, I've never stooped that low, and I'm an "evil, soulless thing" according to some people. (Entropy)

SPIKE: No, you don't. I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it. Something happened to me. The way I  feel... about you... It's different. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't. It's real. (Entropy)

SPIKE: I'm sorry. Not that it matters now. But I needed you to know that. …Because I care about you. (Seeing Red)

And for Buffy real love can only be felt with a soul. She has been adamant about the importance of possessing a soul.
BUFFY:… And whatever you think you're feeling, it's not love. You can't love without a soul. (Crush)

BUFFY:You're not a man. You're a thing.  … You're a thing. An evil, disgusting, thing. (Smashed)

BUFFY:You don't ... have a soul! There is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside! You can't feel  anything real! I could never ... be your girl!(Dead Things)

SPIKE: In that case, why won't you sleep with me again?
BUFFY:Because I don't love you. (Entropy)

BUFFY:I think it is real. For you. I know that's not what you want to hear. And I'm sorry. I really am. You just...  have to move on. You have to.(Entropy)

Buffy deserves not to be so torn over her desire for Spike.

BUFFY:I know that. I do want you. Being with you ... makes things ... simpler. For a little while. … I'm using you.  I  can't love you. I'm just ...being weak, and selfish......and it's killing me. (As You Were)

BUFFY: A little. It doesn't change anything ... but if you're wildly curious, yeah, it hurts. (Hells Bells)

SPIKE: Let it go... Let yourself love me...(Seeing Red)

And he knows that it's important to Buffy that her friends approve of her, and part of that approval is that her lover  must have a soul.
SPIKE: What would they think of you ... if they found out ... all the things you've done? He puts his hand on her  bare shoulder and strokes slowly down her arm. If they knew ... who you really were? (Dead Things)

BUFFY: He's everything I hate. He's everything that ... I'm supposed to be against. But the only time that I ever  feel anything is when ... Don't tell anyone, please.… The way they would look at me ... I just couldn't... (Dead  Things)

XANDER: I'm not joking now. You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. You wanted me to feel something, congratulations. It worked. I look at you - I feel sick - 'cause you had sex with that.  (Entropy)

XANDER: I'm not saying I haven't made mistakes. But the last time I checked slaughtering half of Europe wasn't  one of them. He doesn't have a soul, Buffy. Just a leash they jammed in his head. You think he'd still be all  snuggles if that chip ever stopped working? (Seeing Red)

She deserves to be happy.
SPIKE:…The pain that you feel you only can heal by living… (Once More With Feeling)

SPIKE: Free of life? Got another name for that. Dead. (Gone)

SPIKE: Buffy. You're not happy here. … (Doublemeat Palace)

BUFFY: No. No, I ... you have every right to be here. I pretty much deserve-
SPIKE: That's not true, you... God, this is hard. … It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a  lot. You, uh... you glow. (Hells Bells)

SPIKE:…You're addicted to the misery. … Let yourself live, already. …(Normal Again)
She deserves not to be hurt.
SPIKE: I don't hurt you. (Entropy)

DAWN:Not Anya. Buffy. Do you really love her? Then how could you do that to her? …I don't know what happened  between you two. But what you did last night...If you wanted to really hurt Buffy- congratulations. It worked. (Seeing  Red)

Of course he would get a soul. He never thought he had a chance with her. Then the unthinkable happened- she  came back from the dead, she confided in him, and she became intimate with him.

And he screwed it up.

SPIKE: What have I done? (Seeing Red)
She deserves someone who can love her without his losing control of himself. She deserves to feel safe with her  lover. She deserves to be protected and cared for. She deserves someone who won't fail her every time. She  deserves someone worthy and trustworthy. Buffy tends to equate these traits with having a soul. For Spike then, she deserves a lover with a soul.

Of course he would get a soul because, like Xander, he needs to finally do something right. This is the man who  went into the final battle with Glory thinking he was not coming back. The last words he was able to say to Buffy in  private were a promise that he would protect Dawn no matter what it took.
He had intended to protect her with his  "life," he had intended to sacrifice himself if need be.

BUFFY:We're not all gonna make it. You know that.
SPIKE: Yeah.  Hey. Always knew I'd go down fightin'.
BUFFY:I'm counting on you ... to protect her.
SPIKE: Til the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight. (The Gift)

But Spike failed in his promise and Buffy had to sacrifice herself in his place. And in taking his place in death he  had to take hers in life as a fill in Slayer and protector of Dawn.

Here was a man wracked with guilt at having  inadvertently killed the object of his affection.

SPIKE: No. I'm not leaving you ... to get hurt. Not again (Bargaining)
SPIKE: Uh ... I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her.  If I had done that ... even if I didn't make it  ... you wouldn't have had to jump. But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but ...  after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know?  Dozens of times, lots of different ways ...  Every night I save you."(After Life)
In fact, Spike may hold himself somewhat responsible then for her current state of unhappiness. Sure, Willow was the one who ripped Buffy out of Heaven but Spike thinks he put her there in the first place. This is the man who  counted every one of the 147 days that she was gone, who spent every waking moment haunted by his inability to save her. He needs to do it right this time.

How many times has he tried to save her since she came back? In Once More With Feelingwhen Giles told Buffy she  was on her own, Spike told her "Look, forget them, Slayer. I've got your back,"and later stopped her from committing suicide by catching her and begging her to live. In Dead Things he stood between her and the police  station and let her beat him to a pulp to try to keep her from turning herself in for a murder she did not commit. In Normal Againhe gave her an ultimatum that he believed would result in her turning to, and getting help from, her  friends. But as many times as he tries to save her he screws up and either fails to help her or does things that could  potentially hurt her. In Life Serialhe tries to help her get answers as to who might be toying with her and she  laments "What's wrong?! You were gonna help me! You, you were gonna beat heads and, and, and fix my life! But  you're completely lame!" In As You Were he almost got her killed by storing the demon eggs in his crypt. Then in Entropy he tells Buffy "I don't hurt you." and ends up hurting her very much when he sleeps with Anya. Finally, in Seeing Red he finds that he can do no right when his sincere and honest apology takes such a horrendous turn. Of  course he would get a soul, if only to save Buffy from himself. He was unable to keep his promise a year ago, but  maybe he can save her now.

Of course. He loved Buffy even without being loved in return.

He knew he never could have her even as he tried his  best to get her.

RILEY:You actually think you've got a shot with her?
SPIKE: No, I don't. Fella's gotta try, though. Gotta do what he can. (Into The Woods)
SPIKE:I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's...  (The Gift  )

After her return from the dead he would have been content to love her from afar. At that point it was better than not  being around her at all.

SPIKE:That's great. But I don't wanna play.  'Cause being with you touches me …more than I can say. But since I'm  only dead to you I'm saying stay away and let me rest in peace.  (Once More With Feeling)

SPIKE: The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones.  …Look, you don't have to say anything.(Once More With Feeling)

He was again ready to let it go at the end of Tabula Rasa when Buffy turned away from him at the bar but then she  went after him. He had asked her not to start something with him that she couldn't finish, but she did it anyway.

Even as he took on his own description of Riley's role when Buffy was using him he loved her.

SPIKE:Sometimes I envy you so much it chokes me. And sometimes I think I got the better deal. To be that close  to her and not have her. To be all alone even when you're holding her. Feeling her, feeling her beneath you.  Surrounding you. The scent ... No, you got the better deal. (Into The Woods)
SPIKE:What is this to you? This thing we have.
BUFFY:We don't have a ... thing, we have ... this.  That's all.
SPIKE: Do you even like me?
BUFFY:Sometimes.(Dead Things)

And he willingly let Buffy use and abuse him just to be near her, just to have something.

BUFFY:  You're in love with pain. Admit it. You like me ... because you enjoy getting beat down. So really, who's  screwed up? (Smashed)

SPIKE: I was just trying to keep up. The things you do ....the way you make it hurt in all the wrong places. I've  never been with such an animal. …You wanna see the bite marks? (Dead Things)

SPIKE: Come on, that's it, put it on me. Put it all on me. (She kicks him) That's my girl. (Dead Things)

SPIKE: You wanna slip away for a minute, luv?… I'll let you blow out my candles.(Older And far Away)

BUFFY:Tell me you love me.
SPIKE: I love you. You know I do.
BUFFY:Tell me you want me.
SPIKE: I always want you. In point of fact-
BUFFY:Shut up. (As You Were)

SPIKE: Well, that's bloody funny coming from you! No more games? That's all you've ever done is play me. You  keep playing with rules you make up as you like. … (As You Were)

SPIKE: Really not complaining here. (As You Were)

Of course. This is the man who already set a precedent by loving and caring for crazy Drusilla over the course of 120  years. Of course. This is the man who said he would love Buffy any way, even "wrong," even if there was very little of  Buffy left. A little was enough. It was the same kind of love and loyalty that Willow showed when Tara was  mind-sucked. She loved her anyway, even though there was not much of Tara left.
SPIKE: Willow knew there was a chance that she'd come back wrong. So wrong that you'd have ... that she would  have to get rid of what came back. And I wouldn't let her. If any part of that was Buffy, I wouldn't let her. And that's  why she shut me out. (After Life)
Of course. This was the man who realized that nothing could ever take Buffy's place.

With no hope of ever getting  close to Buffy herself, Spike had a Buffy substitute built-

SPIKE: Some say it's better'n the real thing. (Intervention)

But in his sacrifice for Dawn and the ensuing respect that he earned from Buffy, he found that a little bit of real  Buffy was worth more than he could ever have with a Buffybot.

BUFFY:Don't. That ... thing, it ... it wasn't even real. What you did, for me, and Dawn ... that was real. I won't forget  it. (Intervention)

This is the man who was ashamed when Buffy told him the Buffybot was gross and obscene and then later couldn't  even look at it after he let the real Buffy die because the idea of a fake Buffy had become repulsive to him.

BUFFYBOT:Then how come he never looks at me any more? Even when he's talking to me. (Bargaining)

It was in Intervention that Spike began to go from mere obsession with just the idea of Buffy to really falling in love with Buffy. But it wasn't until she died in The Gift that he realized just what he'd lost.

But while Spike loves the real Buffy, Buffy couldn't love the real Spike. To her he still is not real. She treats him like  he treated the Buffybot, as a thing. And because he is a thing, she cannot love him.

It wasn't killing her that she  was hurting him, it was killing her that she couldn't feel anything real for him and that she would stoop to his level-  that she too could be gross and obscene.

BUFFY:You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are! … And whatever you think you're feeling,  it's not love. You can't love without a soul. (Crush)

BUFFY:(to Spike) That's okay. I can be alone with you here. (After Life)

SPIKE: …Whisper in a dead man's ear, it doesn't make it real… (Once More With Feeling)

BUFFY:You don't ... have a soul! There is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside! You can't feel  anything real! I could never ... be your girl!(Dead Things)

SPIKE: So, she's having the wiggins, is she? Thinks none of us are real. (Normal Again)

SPIKE: No, you don't. I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it. Something happened to me. The way I  feel... about you... It's different. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't. It's real.
BUFFY:I think it is. For you. (Entropy)

But Spike wants to be real for Buffy, and he wants something real in return.

It's why he threw her out in Gone.

SPIKE: Perfect for you. …What I want... This vanishing act's right liberating for you, innit? Go anywhere you want. Do  anything you want. Or anyone….The only reason you're here, is that you're not here. … Free of life? Got another  name for that. Dead.… But sooner or later your chums are gonna work out a way to bring you back to living color.  You need to go. Get dressed if you can find your clothes, and push off. 'Cause if I can't have all of you, I'd rather-  (Gone)

It's also what he was so desperately and horribly trying to get across to her in the Seeing Red bathroom scene.

SPIKE: Let yourself feel it...

Of course. Spike is in love with the whole grand concept of love.

Love is the ultimate motivator, especially for Spike  who is the obsessive demon with the mind of a poet.

SPIKE:*I* may be love's bitch, but at least *I'm* man enough to admit it. (Lovers Walk)

He was willing to go to the ends of the earth to save Dru. It was what brought them all the way from Prague to  Sunnydale and the Hellmouth in the first place. Then to protect Dru he made a truce with the Slayer, his greatest  adversary, and took Dru to yet another continent. After Dru left him, and after having driven all the way from Brazil  to Sunnydale (probably a good 4000 miles), and after having come upon the realization that he might just be able  to reconcile with her after all, he drove all the way back to Brazil for her.

But for Buffy he was willing to kill this woman he already had gone to such great lengths for, and he would do so for  a mere "crumb"-

SPIKE: This is Drusilla, girl! You have the slightest idea what she means to me? It's the face of my salvation! She  delivered me from mediocrity. For over a century we ... cut a swath through continents. A hundred years, she never  stopped surprising me. Never stopped taking me to new depths. I was a lucky bloke.  Just to touch such a black  beauty. …So you see, it means something. … Just ... give me something ... a crumb ... a barest smidgen ... tell me  ... maybe, someday, there's a chance.(Crush)

He had already said he would even willingly give up evil for Buffy.

BUFFY: Please! Spike, you're a vampire.
SPIKE: Angel was a vampire.
BUFFY: Angel was good!
SPIKE: And I can be too. I've changed, Buffy….Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you. And if  that means turning my back on the whole evil thing- (Crush)

And he thought to a large extent that he had given up evil.

SPIKE: Oh, right. Big Sis was treating me so well up until then. Huh. Must still be a bit of the evil left in me after all. (Seeing Red)

Spike tries to jump through hoops for Buffy just as he did for Dru. He does everything he thinks could possibly  please her.

And he knows that being "good" pleases Buffy even if it conflicts with being an evil monster.

SPIKE: Making this woman more comfortable. I'm not sampling, I'll have you know. Just look at all these lovely  blood-covered people. I could, but not a taste for Spike, not a lick. Know you wouldn't like it. …What's it take?(Triangle)

SPIKE: I was just about to send her home. I knew you'd be frettin' (Crush)

SPIKE: It's just, we took on that Glory chippie together, I was right there with you, fightin' the fight. …Still, points for  intent. You'd think that would be enough to cut me a sliver of slack. Earn a little consideration, respect. (Crush)

SPIKE: She wanted to know who the key was. … No! You can't ever. Glory never finds out.  … 'Cause Buffy ... the  other, not so pleasant Buffy ... anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein' in that much  pain. Let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did. (Intervention)

SPIKE: What? I was gonna pay for it. I mean, no. I was gonna nick it, 'cause that's what I do.  I go where I please  and I take what I want (All The Way)

SPIKE: (embarrassed) Oh, you saw the cheating, did you. (Life Serial)

BUFFY:…... but if you're wildly curious, yeah, it hurts.
SPIKE: I'm sorry. (remembers himself) Or, Good! (Hells Bells)

ANYA: Next thing I know, I'm changing to please him. I care if he cares.
SPIKE: Right. (Entropy)

SPIKE: Never! I was always going above and beyond. I saved the Scoobies how many times? And I can't stand the lot of you. (Entropy)

DAWN: Y'know if Spike was here, he'd go back and fight. (Grave)

Of course. He is a man of extremes and he will go to any extreme for love- he'd even get himself a soul.

SPIKE: So she's not gonna do anything rash then.  … so you're saying that a ... powerful and mightily pissed-off  witch ... was plannin' on going and spillin' herself a few pints of god blood until you, what, "explained"?
BUFFY: You think she'd ... no. I told Willow it would be like suicide.
SPIKE: I'd do it. Right person. Person I loved. I'd do it. (Tough Love)

He will do anything to prove his love.

Of course. He is completely obsessed. It is completely in character. His motivator is his love of Buffy, his obsession  with Buffy.

He is so obsessed with her that his love of her appears to have become a part of his reality and very nature even when he didn't know who he was.

SPIKE: And I bite yours. So how come I don't wanna bite you? And why am I fightin' other vampires?  I must be a  noble vampire. A good guy… (Tabula Rasa)

This is the man who Angel first described as having an obsessive personality.

ANGEL: He's worse. Once he starts something he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead. (School Hard)
And both Joyce and Willow urged Buffy to put an end to Spike's stalking before it got out of control.
WILLOW: Not until you shut him down completely. If he thinks there's even a little chance with you, there's no  telling what he'll do. (Crush)

He is the man who practiced his apology incessantly in Triangle with a Mannequin so that he could get it just right  with Buffy. This is the man who would make a promise that he would need to keep "Til the end of the world". This is  the man who unrelentingly counted every one of the 147 days Buffy was dead. The very nature of obsession is to  not stop until the thing is finished.

If there is any way to get Buffy, then Spike is not finished trying.

SPIKE:  Get nice and comfy Slayer. I'll be back. And when I do... things are gonna change. (Seeing Red)

He was not expressing anger, but rather resolve. He has never been able to make her see or understand that he's  changed. When he comes back he will have met all of her criteria and she should be able to see the change once  and for all. She was always able to see the change in Angel. This is his final effort to prove his feelings to Buffy.

And Spike believes that Buffy could love him in return if she doesn't already.

BUFFY: And the only person I can even stand to be around is a ... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker.  (Life Serial)

SPIKE: Bollocks! It was a bloody revelation. You can act as high and mighty as you like ... but I know where you live  now, Slayer. I've tasted it.  (Wrecked)

SPIKE: Now, I admit it. You've had me by the short hairs. I love you. You know it. But I got my rocks back. You felt  something last night.
BUFFY: Not love.
SPIKE: Not yet. But I'm in your system now. You're gonna crave me, like I crave blood. And the next time you come  crawling, if you don't stop being such a bitch, maybe I will bite you. (Wrecked)

SPIKE: You see ... you try to be with them ...but you always end up in the dark ...with me.  (Dead Things)

SPIKE: You always hurt ... the one you love, pet.  (Dead Things)

SPIKE: I've memorized this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn't change what you want. (As You Were)

BUFFY: Because I don't love you.
SPIKE: Like Hell. (Entropy)

SPIKE: Because you love me.
BUFFY: No. I don't.
SPIKE: Why do you keep lying to yourself? (Seeing Red)

SPIKE I know you feel like I do. You don't have to hide it anymore. (Seeing Red)

Of course. He has the mind of a poet. While the chip may have restrained him, it was the poet in him that doomed  him as a demon from the beginning.

Drusilla chose William. She chose him for his mind and his heart.

DRUSILLA: Your wealth lies here... and here. In the spirit and... imagination. You walk in worlds the others can't  begin to imagine. (Fool For Love)

She chose a man who saw love as "shining forth brilliantly"- effulgent.

DRUSILLA: I see what you want. Something glowing and glistening. Something... effulgent. (Fool For Love)

She chose a man who put love itself on a pedestal, and a man who had absolutely no interest in darkness and evil.

SPIKE: I prefer not to think of such dark, ugly business at all. That's what the police are for. I prefer placing my  energies into creating things of beauty. (Fool For Love)

It was Spike who was faithful through two human lifetimes to the same woman.

SPIKE:  No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally. (Lovers Walk)

It was he who showered Drusilla with beautiful and romantic gifts while Angelus' idea of romance in Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered was to bring Dru a fresh human heart.

SPIKE:…I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her  happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a *chaos* demon! Have you ever seen a  chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. (Lovers Walk)

It is the poet in him who looks for beauty.

SPIKE: It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a lot. You, uh... you glow. (Hells Bells)

And it is the poet in him who surrounds himself with it.

BUFFY: You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground. You fixed it up.
SPIKE: Well, I ate a decorator once. Maybe something stuck. (Dead Things)

William wrote poetry. He wrote love poems. In fact he said that all of his poems were about Cecily and his love for  her. When Spike sings his truth in Once More With Feeling, there are still remnants of his original poem to Cecily.

"My heart expands
'tis grown a bulge in it
inspired by your beauty
effulgent." (Fool For Love)
There's a traitor here beneath my breast
And it hurts me more than you'veever guessed
If my heart could beat, it would break my chest 
….. You can make me feel (Once More With Feeling)

The poet and storyteller is alive and well in him as evidenced by his storytelling to Dawn in Crush. He is a fan of  Passions and Dawson's Creek. In Once More With Feeling the "the curtains close on a kiss" just like a dramatic  Hollywood movie love story ending.

When he wants to talk to Buffy about that kiss he chooses to compare it to one  of the classic epic love stories-

SPIKE: We ... we kissed, you and me. All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music, and the rising ... music, and  what was that, Buffy? (Tabula Rasa)

It is the poet in him who would look to experience his very own grand, sweeping, epic love story. It is he who would  play the lead in his own epic tale.

SPIKE: I must be a noble vampire. A good guy. On a mission of redemption. I help the hopeless. I'm a vampire  with a soul. …I'm a hero really. I mean, to be cast such an ugly lot in life and then to rise above it. To seek out  better, nobler things. It's inspirational, isn't it? And the two of us... natural enemies, thrown together to stand  against the forces of darkness. Utter trust. No thought of me biting you, no thought of you staking me. (Tabula  Rasa)

It is the poet in him who would believe in the power of love. Of course he would go on a quest for a soul.

Of course. Because there is nothing else he can do now. He's gone far beyond being able to apologize.  From Seeing Red-

SPIKE: What have I done?

He could not believe that was him- that he went that far, that he hurt her when he thought he could never hurt her.  He knew it was out of character for him to go that far, that he had completely lost control. While he may have been  rough with Dru and Buffy, it was always consensual and not forceful.

SPIKE: Why didn't I do it?

He's evil. He's a monster. He can't believe he is even questioning what he did. It's what a monster does, without  guilt or remorse. He's a vampire.

He shouldn't have to feel this.

SPIKE: Why do I feel this way?

What way? Feeling in love? No. Feeling guilty, remorseful, and horrified at his actions.

He has grown a conscience  and the demon part of him can't even begin to comprehend what to do with that feeling.
CLEM: Love's a funny thing.
SPIKE: Is that what this is?

Love would have meant not hurting her. He can't understand why he feels so sorry. Even worse, he had to question if maybe Buffy was right after all, that maybe he really couldn't love without a soul. It's possible that he is feeling real love for the very first time and he needs to prove to her that he really is capable of loving.

Of course. After his dream in Out Of My Mind Spike stopped trying to get the chip removed. It's possible he gave up  because he believed that the chip really could not be removed.

A brain-damaged Spike would do neither Buffy nor  himself any good.

OVERHEISER: You're not listening. That chip is deeply imbedded in your cerebral cortex. Removing it could leave  you a vegetable. (Out Of My Mind)

OVERHEISER: I told you I couldn't do it. (Out Of My Mind)

Going all the way to Africa for chip removal now does not make sense. If he knew a way to get the chip out he would  have pursued it before. In Doomed he was at the point of committing suicide over life with a chip. In Out Of My Mind, he was willing to risk being a vegetable to get the chip out, so going to Africa and facing trials put forth by a  demon would certainly have posed no insurmountable obstacle at that time. We do not know what the cave demon  could grant Spike. If this demon could even grant chip removal/deactivation then Spike only recently found out  about this. If this demon could alter the chip then Spike had already chosen to live with the chip until now and if he  wanted it removed then he still had simpler options to explore.

It's possible that Warren could have figured out how to at least deactivate the chip, but Spike never pursued that  idea.

In fact, Spike went to Warren only to find out if the chip was working properly.

SPIKE: It's about the rules having changed. Everything's different now. Nothing wrong with me. Something wrong with  her. (Smashed)
A chip that still worked but one that did not work on Buffy played in his favor. Until then Spike was not Buffy's  physical equal. It was necessary for him to be on her level physically for them to have a physical relationship  otherwise he really would just have been her leashed pet.

Spike can still hurt and kill someone with the chip in. He's highly pain tolerant and the chip has not kept him from  hurting people when he thought the pain was worth it.

SPIKE: Ohhh. Why don't I make this simple. (Spike walks forward and taps Tara on the shoulder. When she turns,  he punches her in the face. Both Tara and Spike reel backwards in pain. Tara grabs her nose, Spike his head. )  Oww!! (Family)
SPIKE: Lovely thought. If I don't hurt you myself, the chip wouldn't zap me. I could eat you that way. Beat the onion  thing all to hell. (Triangle)

SPIKE: I've got two barrels here that'll prove you wrong. …Sure, it'll hurt like hell for about two hours...But she'll be  dead just a little longer than that. (Fool For Love)

SPIKE: Come on, people. Girl's endowed with Slayer strength. It's hardly the time to get dainty. Buffy! (Spike slaps  Buffy across the face, hard. ) Ow! (grabs his head in pain) (The Weight Of the World)

SPIKE: This ... is gonna be worth it. (Spike bitch-slaps Xander upside the head.) SPIKE/XANDER:  (The two of them grab their heads in pain.) Ow!!  (The Weight Of The World)

But the chip makes him trustworthy around Buffy's friends. Without the chip he could never have been trusted to  protect Dawn.

Without the chip he would never be part of the Scooby gang.

DAWN: Well, she's always worried about what she's gonna do if you ever get that chip out of your head. (Crush)
The chip has become his excuse to be on the human side without losing face as a big bad. He can't be accused of  going soft because he can blame the chip for his inability to kill people and his inability to kill The Slayer in  particular.

With the chip in his head he has the perfect excuse to not kill or hurt Buffy.

SPIKE:  It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her.  (Lovers Walk)

LENNY: Yeah I heard you'd gone soft. Sad to see it, man.
SPIKE:  (incredulous) Soft? (Lovers Walk)

ADAM: …Then why haven't you killed this Slayer yet?
SPIKE: Because…Stinking rotten luck is why. On top of that, now I got this buggering chip up my head. (The Yoko  Factor)

SPIKE: I guess you're gonna have to kill her. … I'd love to. But, I can't. Remember? I've got this cute little  government chip in my head.  (Out Of My Mind)

HARMONY: Fine! But don't come crying to me when you fail. You couldn't kill her before you got the chip. You had  plenty of chances! (Fool For Love)

SPIKE: That's right, you should scream. Creature of the night here, yeah? Some people forget that.  …She thinks  I'm housebroken. She forgot who she's dealing with. … Just 'cause she's confused about where she fits in, I'm  supposed to be too? 'Cause I'm not. I know what I am. I'm dangerous. I'm evil.… Yes, I am. I am a killer. That's  what I do. I kill. And, yeah, maybe it's been a long time, but ... it's not like you forget how. You just ... do it. And  now I can, again, all right? So here goes.  (Smashed)

SPIKE: On the other hand, it might explain some things -- this all being in that twisted brain of hers. Yeah. Thinks  up some chip in my head. Make me soft, fall in love with her, then turn me into her soddin' sex slave- (Normal  Again)

It's the perfect excuse for him to back down when threatened.

RILEY: You've helped Buffy before, so she has a problem with killing you now that you're helpless. (Spike still  turned away)
RILEY: I don't.
SPIKE: (Turns to face him, walks up to him.) I'd like to see you try.
RILEY: (Stands, gets in Spike's face.) Would you?
They stare each other down. Finally Spike looks away.
SPIKE: Pfft. (Buffy v. Dracula)

SPIKE: I had this chip outta my head, I'da killed you long ago. Ain't love grand? (Into The Woods)

SPIKE: Absolutely. Take him on myself if it wasn't for my little handicap. (Entropy)

XANDER: Get up. Get up! You're just gonna sit there? Do nothing? That the kinda man you are? SPIKE: Not gonna fight you. Chip. (Entropy)

And it is the perfect excuse for his inability to be a monster.

He blames Dru for the fact that he is chipped and he  blames the chip for making him pathetic.

SPIKE: (to Dru) Bloody right you are! If you hadn't left me for that chaos demon, I never would have come back  here! Never would have had this sodding chip in my skull! And you - (to Buffy) wouldn't be able to touch me,  because this, with you, is wrong. I know it. I'm not a complete idiot.(Crush)

SPIKE: I can feel it. Squirming inside my head. …The chip. Gnawing bits and chunks. …Everything used to be so  clear. Slayer. Vampire. Vampire kills Slayer, sucks her dry, picks his teeth with her bones. That's how it's always  been. I've tasted the life of two Slayers. But with Buffy...It isn't the way it's supposed to be. It's the chip. Steel and  wires and silicon. It won't let me be a monster. And I can't be a man. I'm nothing. (Seeing Red)

Being a pathetic excuse for a demon is certainly not his fault and he refuses to ever blame Buffy.

SPIKE: Right! An' I didn't ask for this bloody chip in my head- (Entropy)
From Villains:
DEMON: Something about a woman. The slayer-
SPIKE: Ever since I got this bleeding chip in my head, I haven't been right. Everything's gone to hell-
DEMON: And you want to return to your former self...
SPIKE: Yeah.
DEMON: Look what she's reduced you to.
SPIKE: It's this bloody chip, not-
In fact, if he were out to hurt Buffy he would have put some blame on her.

To Spike it was the chip that castrated  him, not his love for Buffy.

DEMON: You were a legendary dark warrior -and you let yourself be castrated. Now you have the audacity to crawl in here and demand restoration?
SPIKE: I'm still a warrior-
The demon tells him he used to be a dark warrior. Spike says he is still a warrior. In fact Buffy helped to make him  a warrior again after he was chipped, just not a dark one.

His request has nothing to do with the chip. His request has to do with not being beneath her anymore.

BUFFY: Say it's true. Say I do want to. It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you. You're beneath me. (Fool  For Love)

SPIKE: Bitch thinks she's better than me… (Villains)

SPIKE: Do your worst. But when I win, I want what I came here for. Bitch is gonna see a change. (Villains)

He thought they were on equal footing when the chip did not work on her. But Buffy can't view anyone without a soul  as an equal. She thinks she is better than he is because he lacks a soul. His fixation has to do with what Buffy  thinks of him, not with what demons think of him. In Buffy's eyes he was castrated when William lost his soul.

Spike really wanted to be a man. Not a human, a man.

SPIKE: … you treat me like a man. … (The Gift)
SPIKE: A man can change. (Smashed)
And after nearly raping Buffy he was bitterly disappointed in himself.
SPIKE: ….and I can't be a man… (Seeing Red)
Think about the wording the demon used. We tend to associate the word "castrate" with men while "neuter" is more  often used to refer to animals. Vampires are often compared to animals in BtVS. Kendra called them animals. Buffy  told Spike "You're not a man. You're a thing."  Even Spike, after getting the chip, said he'd had a little trip to the  vet. The vampire was neutered with the chip.

The human man was castrated when he lost his soul.

SPIKE: So, give me what I want. Make me what I was… so  Buffy can get what she deserves. (Grave)

He was a "man" once. He was a man for Drusilla. In fact he made a point of literally using his man face for Dru.  That man was castrated when he became a slave to his obsession and then to Buffy. To be a man for Buffy he  would need a soul.

There is no reason to remove the chip anymore. Removal of the chip does not solve his problems. It only creates  new ones. Without the chip he could hunt and kill. But feeding himself is no longer a problem. Without the chip he  could kill Buffy's friends and family. But really he probably could have done that before and he already can't stand  seeing Buffy in pain. Causing her pain would only cause him more pain and that is the very thing he is trying to  escape. Without the chip he would still be in love with her. If he wanted vengeance or to kill his feeling of love by  killing Buffy herself then he could already have killed her with the chip intact and he would still suffer her loss. He  lived through that once already, he probably never wants to live through it again. If he wanted to prove to her that a  chipless Spike was anymore changed or trustworthy he would never get the chance to prove it. If he wants to be like  The Slayer he would be better off with the chip in. He does not need the chip out to fight side by side with The  Slayer. The Slayer does not hurt humans- only demons, and the chip makes him play by those same rules.

"Going evil" doesn't make sense. Spike is not really motivated for long by vengeance. Killing the aristocrats that  taunted him about his poetry with the railroad spikes was probably his most vengeful act. He's wanted vengeance  against Angelus countless times but always got sidetracked from following through with it. He briefly thought about  vengeance with Anya against Dru in Where The Wild Things Are but then couldn't be bothered. He was out for  vengeance against Buffy in Fool For Love but it completely evaporated the moment he saw her. He tends to get  angry in the moment but doesn't sustain it and changes his mind fairly quickly. He would have had to hold on to  anger, hate, and vengeance for far too long to go to Africa, be willingly tortured, come back to Sunnydale, and then  get back at Buffy. He may be obsessive but he has not been obsessed with vengeance. Going to Africa for chip  removal that would not accomplish anything would just be too much wasted pain, suffering, and effort for Spike. In  his case, going for love makes much more sense.

Of course. He left the coat- his big bad killer identity, behind. If he intended to harm The Slayer or do "evil" then he  would have taken the coat that represented his most evil self. He presumably ran back down the same stairs he  came up, right by the coat, and out the door. And while he may have been distraught when he fled the house, in  twenty years he has always retrieved the coat no matter his haste or confusion.

Of course. Because of everything he has already done- because he managed to get her to like him "sometimes."

He'll just have to do whatever it takes for her to like him again, just like with Dru.

SPIKE: I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming  everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda  done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. Love's a funny  thing. (Lovers Walk)
In response to disappointment that Spike was "handed" a soul and that it appears he is to be rewarded for his evil  deeds, think of it this way- he went to get one of his own accord. He chose it.  He chose redemption at last.  He  chose to leave evil behind. The same way that Xander touched the spark of humanity left in Willow, Buffy had  reached the more than a spark of humanity that was left in Spike.

The theme for S6 has been the human monster. The humans did monstrous things while Spike, as a monster, tried  his hardest to become a man and finally failed by becoming monstrous through human acts.

The following now applies to Spike.

From Christopher Golden's The Monster book:
"Vampires, zombies, werewolves…those are monsters. It has always been simple for human society to take a step  back, look at those hideous mythical creatures, and label them as such…

But they (Willow, Tara, Amy) are more than human. They have powers beyond humanity's understanding. Many  people would find such a thing frightening, even monstrous….

Thus under the heading of "the human monster" we could include Willow, Amy, Tara, and other magic users. By  extension, our definition also encompasses the Slayer….

As evidenced by the remarkable story of damnation and redemption that Faith has suffered through, human  monsters can change. Some can break the cycle of their own cruel and even evil behavior. But that is no simple  task. After all that she has done, Faith's redemption is by no means complete. Nor are the issues that drove her to  her monstrous behavior resolved.

Though we have extended the definition of monster for the purposes of this book to include beings created or  influenced by the supernatural, in the end, we return to the simpler definition. As a vampire, Angel is a monster. As  a werewolf, so is Oz. As the Slayer, Faith has abilities that are superhuman. Monsters.

But true monstrosity is, in the end, defined by human behavior. Buffy the Vampire Slayer has shown, time and  again, that monsters can find their redemption."

Spike realized that he had reached the end of his potential in Buffy's life. He could neither be the monster who  would kill her nor the man who could love her. As a man who was ever struggling with the inner demon and as a  man at the end of his rope, Spike could do nothing else. Of course, Spike would purposely obtain a soul.

I'd do it. Right person. Person I loved. I'd do it.


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