Q U O T E S   B Y   O Z

Season 3
"Yeah, and the slaying isn't getting any easier, either."
"I don't know. I think we're kinda getting a rhythm down."
"We're losing half the vamps."
"Yeah, but... rhythmically."
-Xander and Oz, Anne

"We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?"
"What's the difference?"
"Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny."
-Oz and Cordelia - talking about the "Welcome Home" party for Buffy, Dead man's party

"I'm giddy."
"Oh, I like you giddy. Always have."
"It's the freedom! As Seniors, we can go off-campus now for lunch. It's no longer cutting. It's legal! Heck, it's expected! Wow, it's, uh, also a big step forward, a Senior moment, one that has to be savored. You can't just rush into this, you know? Ohh! No, I can't!"
"You can."
"See, you are."
"Oh, but, no! What if they changed the rule without telling? What if they're lying in wait to arrest me a-and, and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record?"
-Willow, Oz, and Xander, Faith Hope and Trick

"Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats... Scary."
"He's just being Oz."
"Pretty much full-time."
-Oz and Willow, Beauty and the beasts

"Right. It's good to see you. Um, no need to panic."
"Just a thought: poker: not your game."
-Giles and Oz, Beauty and the beasts

"Okay. Uh, you know that thing where you bail in the middle of an upsetting conversation? I have to do that. It's kinda dramatic, I know, but... sometimes, it's a necessary guy thing."
-Oz - upset when everyone thinks he may have killed someone, Beauty and the beasts

"Our task now is to determine what sort of killer we are dealing with. Clearly, we're looking for a depraved, sadistic animal."
"Present. Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing is impeccable."
"But you aren't! I-i-it's-it's a kill-in-the-day monster! A hundred percent for sure."
-Giles, Oz, and Willow, Beauty and the beasts

"As Willow goes, so goes my nation."
Homecoming

"That was my sarcastic voice."
"You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice."
"I've been told that."
-Oz and Xander, Lover's walk

"What's this?"
"It's a gift."
"What's the occasion?"
"Pretty much you are."
"It's a little, uh, PEZ witch!"
"It's kind of a theme present. Do you like it?"
"I like... I-I more than like. Oz, this is probably the sweetest... We have to find a little PEZ werewolf, so little PEZ witch can have a boyfriend."
"I don't think they make a werewolf PEZ. You might have to settle for a wacky cartoon dog."
"This is... just so thoughtful."
"Well, I think about you."
"Oh... I don't have anything to give you."
"Yeah, you do."
-Willow and Oz, Lover's Walk

"It's Willow. She's nearby."
"What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume."
"She's afraid."
"Oh, my God. Is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing."
"I really agree."
-Oz and Cordy, Lover's Walk

"Oz, wait. Please? What I did... When I think that I hurt you..."
"Yeah. You said all this stuff already."
"Right, but... I wanna make it up to you. I mean, if you let me, I wanna try."
"Just... You can leave me alone. I need to figure things out."
"But maybe if we talk about it, we could..."
"Look... I'm sorry this is hard for you. But I told you what I need. So I can't help feeling like the reason you want to talk is so you can feel better about yourself. That's not my problem."
-Willow and Oz, The Wish

"Okay. The thing is... seeing you with Xander, it was... Well, I never felt that way before... when it wasn't a full moon... but I know you guys have a history."
"But it's a history that's in the past. Well, I-I guess most history is in the past. But it's over."
"Well, I don't know. I don't know that it... ever will be between you two."
"Oz, please believe me."
"This is what I do know: I miss you. Like, every second. Almost like I lost an arm, or worse, a torso. So, I think I'd be willing to... give it a shot."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Do you want us to... to hug now?"
"Yeah, I'm good for that."
-Oz and Willow, Amends

"You ever have that dream where you're in a play, and it's the middle of the play and you really don't know your lines, and you kinda don't know the plot?"
"Well, we're alone, and we're together. I-I just wanted it to be special."
"How special are we talking?"
"Well, you know, we're alone, and we're both mature younger people, and, and so... w-we could... I-I'm ready to... w-with you. We could do that thing. Where are you going?"
"No, I'm not going. Just a dramatic gesture. That's, that's pretty special."
"Oz, I-I wanna be with you. First."
"I think we should sit down again."
"Oz? I-I'm ready."
"Okay. Well, don't take this the wrong way... but I'm not."
"Are you scared? 'Cause I thought you had..."
"No, I have, but this is different. I mean, you look great. You know, and, and you got the Barry working for you, and, and it's all... good. But when it happens... I want it to be because we both need it to for the same reason. You don't have to prove anything to me."
"I just wanted you to know."
"I know. I get the message."
-Oz and Willow, Amends

"Uh, wait, wait a minute. Uh... Uh, there is a fringe theory held by a few folklorists that some regional stories have actual, um, very literal antecedents."
"And in some language that's English?"
"Fairy tales are real?"
"Hans and Gre... Hansel and Gretel?"
-Giles, Buffy, and Oz, Gingerbread

"You know, maybe we're on the wrong track with the whole spell, curse and whammy thing. Maybe what we should be looking for is something like, um, Slayer kryptonite."
"Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills."
"You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains Superman of his powers."
"Wrong. The gold kryptonite's the power-sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird..."
-Xander and Oz, Helpless

"But... It's just that it's buggin' me, this 'cool' thing. I mean, what is it? How do you get it? Who doesn't have it? And who decides who doesn't have it? What is the essence of cool?"
"Not sure."
"I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why is that?"
"Am I?"
"Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?"
"Could be."
"I know! You're in a band! That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff! I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?"
"Not the way I play it."
"Okay, but on the other hand: eighth grade. I'm taking the flügelhorn and gettin' zero trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. But you need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?"
"An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special."
-Xander and Oz, The Zeppo

"Is it just me or is this really lame?"
"I don't know. I usually enjoy lameness, but this is leaving me kinda cold."
- Buffy and Oz - talking about the pep rally, Earshot

"They really are very good."
"Their spelling has improved."
"You know Oz, I look at all this beauty, and these health young women and I wonder why I ever wasted my time on Cordelia. I mean, look at her....she's no better looking than the rest of them."
"None of them are really my..."
"Oh my god!! He's looking at her! He's got his filthy, adult, pierce-brosny eyes all over my Cordy!"
"You're a very complex man, aren't you?"
-Xander and Oz, Earshot

"It was intense."
"Yeah for a minute I thought you were gonna make an expression."
"I felt one coming on, I won't lie."
-Oz and Xander, Earshot

"I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me and I cease to exist. Hmm."
Earshot

"No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think therefore she exists."
Earshot

"If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the red-head."
Earshot

"I'm still having problems with the fact that one of us is just gonna gun everyone down for no reason."
"Yeah, because that never happens at American high schools."
"It's bordering on trendy at this point."
-Xander, Cordy and Oz, Earshot

Xander: "Everything in life is foreign territory. Kerouac. He's my teacher. The open road is my school."
Buffy: "Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?"
Xander: "Go ahead, mock me."
Oz: "I think she just did."
Xander: "We Bohemian anti-establishment types have always been persecuted."
Oz: "Well, sure. You're all so weird."
- Choices

Xander: "Well, how can you tell which is which? I mean, they both look kinda stick-figurey to me."
Oz: "Well, this one's me. See the little guitar."
Xander: "Oh, gotcha."
Oz: "Nobody like my Willow."
Xander: "No sir, there is not."
- Choices

Oz: "Any change?"
Willow: "He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy."
Oz: "You too, huh?"
- Graduationday, Part 2

Cordelia: "I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan."
Oz: "We attack the Mayor with humus."
Cordelia: "I stand corrected."
- Graduationday, Part 2

Xander: "I'm starting to lean towards the humus offensive."
Oz: "He'll never see it coming."
- Graduationday, Part 2

Oz: "Guys take a moment to deal with this - we survived."
Buffy: "It was a hell of a battle!"
Oz: "Not the battle, high school. ... We're taking a moment ... and we're done."
- Graduationday, Part 2