Fanfiction: Requiem
Faith had chosen a room on an entirely different floor of the hotel, preferring to be by herself even though she knew the dangers of loneliness all too well. She was still uncomfortable and unconfident being around the Scoobies after everything that had happened in the past; betrayals on both sides were still fresh in her mind despite all the time that had elapsed. Wounds that would never heal, kept fresh by daily reminders of the world and its torments. Never one to get along with anybody for very long, she’d purposely kept herself separate to save her from the constant reminder of what she’d never had and probably never would have.
Sitting on the floor, staring at the ceiling, she absently ran her fingers through her dark hair, trying not to fall into the tempting repetition that was her dismal view of life. After her experience in prison, years of relative solitude, she needed to relearn her communication skills so she could at least get some of the weight off her shoulders. Not ever one to open herself up, and thus invite in pain and neglect, she wanted to try to be different now that she had a second chance, a new life away from prison. But the question wasn’t whether she would change; it was if she could.
A tentative knock at the door shook her from her sullen reverie. In her mind, she quickly ran through a list of names, people who might come to see her, and she could only think of one who would be so bold.
“Yeah?” she asked, raising her voice to be heard through the door. She did not get up.
“Faith?” asked a masculine voice. “Can I come in?”
Robin Wood.
Faith closed her eyes for a few seconds, then reopened them to continue her inspection of the ceiling and its highly uninteresting, off-white features. “I guess,” she replied, still making no attempt to get up and open the door. “It’s open.”
Robin hesitantly opened the door, poked his head inside, looked around, then came entirely into the room and shut the door, sealing himself in with Faith for a conversation she was absolutely certain she did not want to have right now. Though she wouldn’t tilt her head to make eye contact with him, she could see his dark skin in her peripheral vision. Chocolate. Mocha. Mahogany. He moved uncertainly, shuffling his feet just a bit, before deciding to sit on the bed directly over Faith’s prone body. A short, uncomfortable silence followed. He’d taken a horrible beating in the final battle against the First, and he was still not completely healed. His breathing created a low, rasping sound, the result of numerous blows to his rib cage.
“Why are the drapes drawn shut?” Robin asked, more to get a conversation started than out of any real curiosity. Besides, he knew the answer already.
“I like the dark,” Faith said, offering up no more information. She suddenly felt the need to itch her leg, but she resisted the temptation, preferring to remain stoic and unfeeling in Robin’s presence. Stupid jeans.
“I came by to see how you were doing.” Apparently, Robin had decided to continue despite Faith’s icy response.
“Good. Great. In fact, I’ll even throw in a ‘five by five’ just for the hell of it.”
Robin barely kept himself from flinching.
“Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?” he persisted, intent on getting a more sincere response.
“No.”
“How’s the ceiling doing?”
“The sheer lack of creativity in that question amazes me,” Faith responded, noting Robin’s sarcasm and pointedly ignoring it. Please just go away.
Robin took a deep breath. “Why are you always like this?” he said, looking down at Faith’s blank face.
“Like what, Robin?” Irritation. Annoyance. A face that showed none of it.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Faith. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m talking about your attitude, this whole ‘leave me alone, I’d like to shut everyone out now’ flow you’ve got going. I hate to say, but it’s not working real well for you.”
Faith was on her feet in an instant, fire in her eyes and anger in her tone. “Don’t assume that you know what I’m about,” she said, her voice becoming slightly louder. “You assume to know things that you couldn’t possibly understand.”
“You’re right,” Robin said, speaking slowly and clearly so as to not aggravate the Slayer any more than he already had, “but I’d like to understand what you’re about. The problem is that I don’t think you’ll let me.”
“Just drop it, Robin. Drop it.” Faith moved over to the window, even though through the drapes she could see nothing. She refused to speak directly to Robin any longer. “This whole conversation is headed for disaster.”
“Because you want it to be that way.”
“I won’t change myself to please you.”
“I’m not asking for you to change. I’m asking for you to give me a chance.”
“We’ve been over this before, and it was a mistake. You almost died a few days ago.” Faith turned around, desperately trying to keep her hair-trigger temper in check. Though they were separated by at least five feet of air, Robin could almost feel the tension radiating from her. “Everything I’ve ever loved has been taken from me! And it won’t happen again.”
“I can understand that you’re scared,” Robin soothed, “but it’s something you have to deal with.”
“Wrong,” Faith responded, turning her back on him once again. “You deal with it.”
“I know what it’s like to feel loss. I lost my mother when-“
“At least your mother loved you,” Faith said, bitterness fresh on her lips. “Sure, you lost her, and I’m sorry that happened. But tell me: did you mom like to hit you? Abuse you for no reason other than the fact that you were unlucky enough to be her son? Bring over boyfriends that would degrade and ridicule you because you were little, and you were young, and you were fucking stupid, Robin?” The former principal of Sunnydale High unconsciously scooted a few inches backwards when Faith left the window and came slowly pacing towards him. “Do you know what a beer bottle feels like when it hits your head? To be left bleeding on the ground, hating yourself, hating your mom, hating the entire god damned world because it’ll never get better?” Faith brought her hand up to her eyes, quickly wiping away tears before they had a chance to fall, trying to wipe away the memories as well. “I’m sorry that I’m like this, okay? I hate that I’m too weak to change my life, but that’s my problem. So please stop trying to make it yours.”
Robin looked at Faith, the girl he loved, her eyes glistening and lips trembling as a result of all that had gone tragically wrong in her life, and he was about to say something else, but he shut his mouth and broke off eye contact with her instead.
Faith moved closer and put her hand on his shoulder for a short moment. Then she was at the door, and she was gone, shutting it without a sound, as if she’d never even been there.
“Giles, take me shopping.”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“You’re no fun.”
“So I’ve been told. On numerous occasions.”
Rupert Giles and Dawn Summers were sitting at a table under a large umbrella near the hotel pool. Buffy’s ex-Watcher was immersed in a new book on demonology that the Watcher in Cleveland had let him borrow. Buffy’s sister had had enough of demons for one lifetime; there were more important things to be done now. Like shopping.
“You know,” Dawn continued, her previous unsuccessful attempt already forgotten, “you can read and take me shopping. Like simultaneously. I can just direct you with a kiddie-leash or something so you don’t bump into things.”
Giles rolled his eyes and managed to tear his gaze away from the book. He pointed out towards the pool. “Can’t you just go swimming? Americans like to swim, don’t they?” His hopes for an easy solution were dashed a second later by the teenager’s response.
“It’s too hot,” Dawn said.
“What?” Giles had incredulity written all over his face. “Too hot to go swimming?”
“Did I stutter?” Dawn dryly responded, giving Giles the evil eye, willing him to take her to the mall. “Just take me, and I’ll shut up. Promise.”
The unbeatable combination of the California heat and the California teenage attitude finally defeated Giles. He marked his place with his bookmark and shut the book, placing it on the table. “Fine, I will take you to the mall,” he said. Dawn was glad to hear this, but she didn’t like the way Giles’s eyes were shimmering.
“You have Mischief Face,” she said, warily narrowing her eyes. “I suppose you want a compromise, you evil ex-Watcher?”
Giles cleaned his glasses on his white t-shirt. When he put them back on, he stated his conditions. “Someone else has to go.” He crossed his hands on his chest. “If you can persuade someone else to come along, then yes, I will take you to the mall. But I need another person to keep me from going quite insane while I’m surrounded by the burgeoning population of insolent teenagers that inhabit this state.”
“Burg-a-what?” Dawn’s eyes were wide with incomprehension.
“Just find someone else to go. I don’t care who.”
“Really? Anyone?”
“Yes, anyone.”
Dawn smirked and started walking towards the hotel lobby. Giles reopened his book and sighed.