Cue the porn music. -- Touched : The Rant

Warning: Spoilerish to the amount of 10.

- I'm sorry. I can't do it. As much as I wanted to go along with the majority and say I actually liked this episode, I just can't do it. I have to be honest, this episode was as bad - if not worse - than last week.

Here are my reasons why...

- As much as I love the reports from the con stating that Iyari Limon is adorable and so totally great, I loathe the character she plays. I REALLY, REALLY tried loving Kennedy. It just isn't working. "Touched" made my distain for her grow overboard. Why did I hate her so much last night, you ask? I hate how she thinks she's a larger integral part of the group, when she's really just a SIT with one advantage -- she's dating (and now doing) a REAL scooby member. And that's it. That's what seperates her....she makes Willow feel fuzzy. Period. And yet she thinks she deserves to have a say in things....because she has so much experience with this stuff, after all.

The other reason I hated Kennedy last night is the love scene with Willow. The dialogue beforehand was horrible...just an abomination of all that is BtVS. Someone should make Rebecca Rand Kirshner watch all 141 episodes of BtVS 5 times over, because she's clearly the weakest link in the writing team. HORRIBLE.

- What was even worse about "Touched"? The scene with Faith and Wood. It was all professional, and then...bam...sex. Now I don't mind watching all these sex scenes, but let's at least give them some depth. One second they're talking about the father/mother figures, the next they're boinking. It was absolutely obscene and bogus, and again, Rebecca's atrocious words and pacing killed what could've been more interesting than what we received.

- I get it. Hardcore sex between everyone except for Spike and Buffy, the two people who had the most hardcorEST of hardcore sex several times last season. See kids, M.E wants you to know LOUDLY that Spike and Buffy have grown up and are slowly heading into a mature and healthy relationship. Now if you didn't get that, watch out, cause the writers may smack you even harder over the head with it.

- It was repetitive in dialogue. We heard the same stuff last week. We heard the same stuff a couple eps back. Let's think of something different than almost word for word.

- I don't mind seeing people getting their proverbial "freak on", but this wasn't the best timing for it. We have 2 episodes to go, and when it comes down to it, the sex scenes were a waste of time.

- There were a couple cute scenes I liked. Hard to pick 'em, because I didn't like most of what I saw, but here they are...

- Andrew speaking for a bringer.

- Spike and Buffy before the whole "now kids, this is maturity! IT'S THEM BEING HEALTHY... HEALTHY, DAMN YOU" scene. Basically what I mean is Spike's speech. It was quite moving...and I'm not a fan of Spuffy in the least. But I did like it.

- Seeing Richard Wilkins again, and the whole scene between he and Faith.

- The last 5 minutes were good. It made me interested. Buffy has a weapon, Faith has a ticking timebomb. Fun stuff.

Final Verdict: Like I said at the top, I REALLY wanted to like this episode, but when it comes down to it, it was crap. It was nasty, doody-drenched crap. I award them no points and may God have mercy on their souls....

Crap.

Rating: 2 STAKES

Rant Over.

- Mac