- It's The Apocalypse, Stupid (part 1)
by Matt -9.15.04
[ mlee@blkswan.com ]

  When thinking of Apocalypses, one wonders how many there were BEFORE the Buffy-era...Pre-blonde Cali Slayer, if you will. So I've come to some conclusions. Some you may call non-sensical, some you may call borderline genius. I imagine the former is closer.

Apoc. #1: Mark Burnett's Birthday

The creator of such reality shows as "Survivor", "The Apprentice" and "The Amazing Race", Mark Burnett's birth has to be a sign of the apocalypse. For all we know, he could be the Anti-Christ. It would make sense. Since reality TV is for drones with an attention span of a fly stuck in poo, and Burnett is the one who made it overly-popular....1+1=2....I think.

Apoc #2: George Lucas Screws With Star Wars.

Right before Buffy came to Sunnydale, Star Wars was released again to theatre go'ers. Unfortunently, this time we didn't see everything we saw the first time back in 77'. Oh no, this time we saw more. He changed scenes, added visual effects, and is continuing to do so with the newest trilogy DVD release this week. It never stops, and soon he'll add that brain ray special effect and you won't see it coming. Nope....he'll suck your brain.

Or make you watch more re-touched Hayden Christenson CGI. Oh yes, it'll be that bad.

Apoc #3: The Rat Tail

You know what I'm talking about. The unseemly haircut that began back in the 80's, and is still worn by several country bumpkins today. "Trimmed everywhere except a patch of hair in the back...leave that alone, Mr. Barber. That's what the chicks dig."

I guess it worked for Donnie Wahlberg. Then again, that should tell you something right there.

Evil.

Part 2 coming soon. More bloody, merciless apocalypses.

FRANK JOHNSON: Good service
(29.09.2005, 05:03)

eriatarkaesp: So where's part 2 already?
(07.07.2005, 14:48)