Poobah Says:
People make New Years resolutions because there's nothing to do between the hours of 10PM and midnight on New Years eve (the hours after you're already drunk, and before you make out with the dude that looks like a chick in the corner of the party room). My New Years resolution is to quit making out with the dude that looks like a chick in the corner of the party room.

From Zgirl714:
Who do you like better Drusilla or Darla?

Poobah says:
That's like saying, "Who do you like better, crazy or crazier?" I'll take 'em both, a bottle of merlow, and some sock puppets. A fun night had by all.

From Fiatlux:
I was doing some paperwork at UC Santa Cruz and I thought I saw Connor. Should I be afraid?

Poobah says:
Only if you've been possessed by a God-like fetus growing inside you. If so, he may run up to you and try to hump your leg.

From SPIKESMYGOD:
Last night, I was watching MTV and started to wonder about something, concerning you:
Poobah, do YOU ever shake it like a Polaroid picture? If so, do you ever feel ashamed about it, afterwards?

Poobah says:
Only feel ashamed if your picture hasn't developed properly.

From Nora:
What's the best route to take from Los Angeles to Hollywood?

Poobah Says:
Take the 101 north to W. Sunset Blvd, past the hookers on the corner and the crackhead licking the sidewalk and you're there.

From Sraeps2:
Why do i stay up until 5 AM instead of falling asleep when the clock strikes 12 on News Years eve? Maybe I'm just weird.

Poobah says:
Yep.

From Nora:
I spilled red wine on my carpet, how do I get it out?

Poobah says:
Stop drinking like Dean Martin on a 3 day binge and you wouldn't have these problems. Or you know, you could just move, and celebrate you're new apartment with a nice glass of red wine.

From Fiatlux:
Now that the US is at an Orange Terror Alert, does that mean Riley and Samantha Finn will be poking around to protect us?

Poobah says:
No hun, I'm afraid they're characters on a TV show. Whoa...koo-koo. Now if you don't mind, I have to go fix the 3rd Death Star and hit on Princess Leah.

From Nora:
I think I am pregnant with your love child and it's a boy, what should we name it? And don't try to deny that it's yours.....you know how faithful I am to you Lone, I mean Hawk I mean MAC! yeah Mac.......

Poobah says:
One - my name isn't Mac....it's Poobah. Two - My alter ego won't be paying child support. TAXI! TAXI! Shit. I have no cab fare. Say, you have any cash on you?

From Poo-Ma:
Why is my son so handsome and talented????? WHY???????????????

Poobah says:
I really need to upgrade my email account's password protection.

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