-> Ask The Poobah

4.09.04: Dating the dead, things to do at work when you're bored, and Angel finale predictions.



From XBox:
Why are none of the girls at school turned on by my sexy "New Kids on the Block" hair-do?

Poobah Says:
It might be because it's not 1989, but that's just a guess.

From Dannyboy:
Necrophilia, pros and cons?

Poobah says:
Cons: Frozen and dead. Pros: She won't ask you to go with her to her mother's house.

From Jaye Tyler:
Hi, Poobah. First time writer here from Niagara Falls. I've worked at a souvenir shop for years now, but lately something strange has been going on. All of these toys and cartoon images and things shaped like animals have been...well...talking to me. And it's weird. I think I'm going insane. Am I going insane? I don't know what to do. I've tried all the obvious solutions: Seeing a psychologist, having an exorcism, and even ignoring all of the voices hoping they'll go away. But if I ignore them too long they all start to sing to me. And it's gotten bad lately, Poobah. Now they want me to help people. I've tried everything except for one thing...ask the Poobah. So tell me, Poobah, what should I do?

Poobah says:
Get out of retail while you can.

From sabarendt:
Is it wrong I take your advice and comments seriously to the point that I have already broken 14 federal laws, and am about to start stalking Joss Whedon, or is this normal 'fandom'?

Poobah Says:
No, it's not wrong! He deserves everything he gets for making us watch Kristy Swanson as a high school cheerleader.

From Nora:
Why is Waterfalls cancelled and "The Swan" on the air? I don't understand!!!!!

Poobah says:
What's "Waterfalls"? Was it a good show? I've never heard of it before.

From SevenofTN:
It's Friday afternoon, I'm bored silly and work is creeping along. What can I do to make these last few hours before the weekend interesting?

Poobah says:
Company embezzlement is always fun. If it works out, I get a cut, you hear me? Don't be greedy with the dirty money.

From Ye Olde Wretch:
How do you think the NY Mets will do this year?

Poobah says:
You're kidding...right?

From Dannyboy:
When will you get a haircut? Those cousin it jokes are getting old fast.

Poobah says:
I'll get a haircut when you decide to actually start wearing men's underwear again. Is it deal?

From Nora:
What should I do this weekend? Hang out with Roxy or bake cookies? I can't decide.

Poobah says:
How about both? Bake cookies with Roxy...in the nude. Well, I had to throw in my own personal touch to the imagery.

From SevenofTN:
Second, why is it that every time I try to type poobah, I always wind up typing poobag? Weird, huh?

Poobah says:
Not if you're a closet-case fecalphiliac. Kind of puts you in an awkward position, doesn't it?

From Dannyboy:
Care to give us predictions for the final Angel episode of the seaon?

Poobah says:
Why not. Someone or something will die, Angel will brood, Spike will call someone a ponce, Gunn will look inanimate, and Wes will most likely shoot someone. We'll all have ourselves a good cry, and call it a day....Or L.A will blow up, because Joss ran out of ideas awhile ago. Either way, I'll be getting sloshed out the ass that night so who gives a crap...

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