-> Ask The Poobah

4.18.04: Why El Presidente may be Kevin Smith, American Scandal, and people I wouldn't mind eating to live.



From Dannyboy:
Is Eric Kevin Smith in diguise?

Poobah Says:
If Kevin Smith is gayer than gay, then sure...Eric is Kevin Smith.

From MmmAwHellNo:
I'm feeling a little guilty. Can you tell me if it is wrong that I'm looking at Hellmouth Central during my Computer Science lab? Am I a loser for taking computer science? I do find dorks and awkward people endearing. Hmmm...

Poobah says:
No, you're a loser for reading this. What's wrong with you?! Get a life!

From Nora:
Why did Ruben beat Clay on American Idol, Clay was clearly the winner.....I think it was all rigged. (note: Nora does NOT watch this crap....EVER!)

Poobah says:
The only losers of this contest are us...the viewing public. Now we have two more "artists" making sappy love ballads that could seriously generate seizures and kill us all. Gotta love reality TV.

From Bitsy:
What's better?: Chappelle's Show or South Park

Poobah Says:
That's like asking, "Which is better - sex with Jessica Alba or sex with Jessica Alba?" Matter of fact, forget Chapelle's Show or South Park, I'll take the sex with Jessica Alba.

From SpikesAngel:
Do you think the TV networks have all joined together to tourcher us by cancelling all good tv and leaving us with reality shows? Who do you think is in charge there?

Poobah says:
There's only one person crazy enough to torture us like this, and yes ladies and gents, it's Pope John Paul II! When will his evil reign of terror end?!! And where did he come up with the idea for "My Big Fat Obnoxius Fiancee"? Evil.

From Dannyboy:
Are you god?

Poobah says:
No way. God's punchlines are way better than mine. You should hear his act on the 7th cloud to the left. St. Peter nearly busted a gut, then realized he was dead and calmed down.

From Xbox:
Who would win in a street fight between Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith?

Poobah says:
This is a question I can do without...come on...I'm talking to you...come on.

From Disturbed Soul:
Do you think the Cubs have a chance this year?

Poobah says:
A chance at what? Losing? Sure. Sometimes these questions are too easy.

From Dannyboy:
What happened to Willow's Parents during the whole Dark Willow thing? They haven't been seen since her mom tried to burn her back in S3....

Poobah says:
A better question is, what happened to all their parents after Sunnydale blew up? Did they warn their parents and get them out of town before it happened? Did they just leave them there? Wait...wait...on second thought, I don't care.

From Bitsy:
Let's say you were trapped on a desert island. Who would you be marooned with and what blunt object would you use to kill that person once hunger warped your mind?

Poobah says:
It would have to be someone I wouldn't mind killing, so...Ashton Kutcher.

From Nora:
Now that we have gone to court and it's been decided that you HAVE to not only pay child support but ALSO take the boy on weekends, how was your weekend with Mac Jr?

Poobah says:
I left him at Disneyworld. He kept bothering me for money and calling me 'dad', so I ditched that square. Don't worry, he'll have fun on the tea cups.

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