-> Ask The Poobah

4.30.04: A whole lot of ass, a whole lot of Canadians, and a whole lot of love.



From SPIKESMYGOD:
If someone is a hermaphrodite, can they really screw themselves?

Poobah Says:
I imagine you still have to be quite bendy to pull that off. Why don't you ask Christina Aguilera? She-he would know more about that than me.

From G:
I need your help I am in a position of power because ma daddy helped me get the spot; you see he did the job a few years before me. Now I am messing everything up. Sending "workers" looking for things that aren't there and now every one hates me. I just want people to like me, and I want to finish what my daddy started but some people are bein real mean to me. What should I do?

Poobah says:
Hey, here's an idea I'm SURE you haven't explored....kill some more people. It always calms me down.

From Nora:
Why are you wearing that "free Michael Jackson" T-shirt????

Poobah says:
Because I believe in giving aliens a chance to adapt to our world before judging them.

From Dannyboy:
Why are most men so obsessed with the Olsen Twins and their approaching 18th birthday?

Poobah Says:
If you know how old they're going to be, maybe you should answer your own question, pervy.

From spuffy_fan1:
If you were to listen to one Guns N' Roses song before you died, what would it be and why?

Poobah says:
It wouldn't be Guns N' Roses, for starters. Unless the year was 1991 and I was drunk off my ass. Come to think of it, is it 1991? Seriously, I can't remember...you know, because of all the booze.

From J. Levin:
I work in television and I love my work. The problem is I recently cancelled my boyfriend's TV show. Let's call him David B. Ever since then, David has be rather hostile towards me. He yells when I try to talk to him, and his face cringes every time someone even mentions my name...Jordan. I don't know what to do! I really miss him, please let me know how I can get my Davie Bear back.

Poobah says:
Man, why can't I get emails from REAL Network Executives? Everyone knows the WB doesn't count. Where's Rupert Murdoch's Australian ass when you need him?

From Roxy:
Is it bad to stalk, and if so, what is the punishment for getting caught?

Poobah says:
It isn't bad if you're after a gorgeous piece of Canadian bacon like one Ms. Anne Murray! MEOW! And the punishment? The punishment is SURE BLISS!!! Know what I'm talking A-BOOT?

From Nora:
So you're lookin very sasseh these days, what about you and me going out for some drinks or somethin?

Poobah says:
That depends. Are you buyin'? Yes ladies, I know you can't believe I'm still single.

From jojo:
True or True: The Ottawa Senators suck arse.

Poobah says:
No, No, just hockey fans...but you were close.

From Reisita:
Who would win in a fight: Illyria or Dark Willow?

Poobah says:
That depends. Who am I sleeping with at the time, and does she get cable?

From Dannyboy:
I heard a rumour that singer Avril Lavigne would be playing Dawn in an upcoming Angel episode, is there any truth to this rumour?!!!

Poobah says:
Yeah, but only as her ass double. Lord knows we wouldn't want to see Avril try to act!! "Why is this scene so COMPLICATED??? Woah-woah-woah..."

From SPIKESMYGOD:
Are the "kill, kill" voices in my head real??

Poobah says:
If they mean "Kill Celine Dion", then yes.

From Nora:
Mac Jr. came home with a tattoo and said that YOU oked it? Is this true?

Poobah says:
It says "I Heart Mom", I thought you'd like it. Now the boy can always remember the times he loved you, as he's sitting in court waiting on his juvey vandalism verdict. Geesh, you're so uptight.

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