-> Ask The Poobah

5.07.04: Dusting off the ol' Crystal Balls, the Secretary of Hillarity, and my sister: defined.



From Dannyboy:
Is the WB blowing horsesh*t with the proposed Angel TV movies next year?

Poobah Says:
Knowing Jordan Levin and the goons at the WB's great fondness for animals, they're probably just blowing horses, minus the shit.

From Nora:
Why me? why not YOU?

Poobah says:
Why not? Why do you have to bring me down? Why is it that birds fly? Why are the Cleveland Browns always lousy? Why do I keep asking questions? Why? You don't want to know, and I don't know. So there.

From Princess Kimberley:
Now that James Marsters is soon to be unemployed, what do you see in his future?

Poobah says:
Considering his age, I see caterax, Ben-Gay and early bird specials in his future.

From SPIKESMYGOD:
Dude, you are always baggin' on your home state of West Virginia, even calling it "Hell." Are there ANY nice things which you can say about the place?

Poobah Says:
It's not Alabama...?

From MmmAwHellNo:
Hey Poobah...so what is going on with all of this "Boreanaz backstabbing" (as I like to call it) concerning the new show Dark Shadows? Marley Shelton from Valentine is starring as well as the guy who plays Drogyn!!! Please explain this.

Poobah says:
You see, Boreanaz is a douche. And douches say douchey things. I think that about clears it up. K, douche?

From jojo:
If Dubya wins the November elections, what do you see for America's future?

Poobah says:
Everyone knows Rumsfeld is secretly in charge, so we're all gonna die.....die of laughter! THAT GUY IS HILLARIOUS! HA! Oh, Rummy, you so crazy!

From milesfrom730:
Where do you stand on Fat Tuffy?

Poobah says:
I stand on the side of not knowing what the hell you're talking about.

From SPIKESMYGOD:
Ya know how they say listening to Mozart can temporarily increase your IQ? Do you think watching "Friends" has the converse effect on people?

Poobah says:
I wouldn't know, uh, I don't watch that show. All I know is...ROSS AND RACHEL ARE TOGETHER! PHOEBE'S MARRIED! JOEY'S GOING TO L.A! CHANDLER AND MONICA ARE PARENTS! Wooo!!!!! Der, what was the question? I forgot because of my decreasing IQ.

From Dannyboy:
Tell us about your sister...who has taken a keen interest in the site these days...?

Poobah says:
Well, let's see. She was born in a test tube. The doctors weren't quite sure what she was when she came out. I was told she looked like a cross between Carol Channing and a billy goat. I'm pretty sure her father is our mail man. Also - she has hollow leg that when you hit it just right on a cool night, you can hear the beat of Beethoven's 5th symphany. My sister, what a hoot.

Send me some questions for next week! Email me here. Put "ask the poobah" in your subject line, and remember to give a name! :)

Every Friday check out a NEW "Ask The Poobah"!

Any reproduction of this material is strictly prohibited by Black Swan, Inc and Um Err Productions.