-> Ask The Poobah

5.29.04: Meet the Schmoobah, Santa and the Jews, and why women like Firefighters.



From milesfrom730:
How come there isn't an "Ask El Presidente" feature?

Poobah says:
We didn't want anyone to think we let re-re's have features.

From Curlupandie:
What the hell is a mulligan?

Poobah says:
It's a redo for people who suck at golf. I know a guy named 'schmoobah' who has to use it a lot. Nice guy, helluva body on him too.

From Curlupandie:
If Martha Stewart did the crime, is she gonna do the time?!

Poobah Says:
No, she won't do the time. She'll bribe the judge with her golden yams. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

From ScoobyMacSis:
What's your site going to be about now that almost every show that you support is off the air? I mean are the rants going to be about you and Eric scratching your balls? Is news bites going to be filled with things like Mac and Eric secret lovers or not?

Poobah says:
What's wrong with that? I'm scratching my balls as I type, and I find it quite entertaining.

From Fat Tony:
Does Santa cater to Jewish kids too?

Poobah says:
No. Santa only caters to those who keep his gifts, instead of trying to bring them back to get store credit, and then trying to weasel a discount out of whatever they buy from that particular store.

From Dannyboy:
Why do I like seeing NYC's ass getting kicked in every disaster movie?

Poobah says:
Hmm...I don't know. Maybe I'll ask Homeland Security and see what they think of your question.

From Fiatlux:
Why won't my laptop play audio CDs anymore?

Poobah says:
It rejects crappy music. Never play Michael Bolton songs again and you'll be fine.

From ConnorsBabe:
Why is the world out to end all sci-fi shows?

Poobah says:
Because the world hates space, after space slept with the moon. The moon is a dirty, dirty slut.

From Curlupandie:
What's the weirdest question anyone's ever asked you?

Poobah says:
A girl once said to me, "Where's your penis?", but that was more humiliating than weird.

From Dannyboy:
Explain to me the appeal Firefighters have on women...

Poobah says:
Firefighters have life insurance plans. Women are gold diggers. Put them together, you have your answer.

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