Poobah says:
It magically makes you think up better questions.

From Fiatlux:
What's your shoe size? What's Eric's shoe size?

Poobah says:
I wear a size 11. Eric wears a 6 1/2. He's a midget from the waist down, if you know what I mean.

From Dannyboy:
What was your family's role in the Civil War?

Poobah Says:
My great, great, great, great cousin was Robert E. Lee. He lost. He had a wicked cool beard though. Really, I mean even better than Sean Connery.

From Stephen Barendt:
Are you gay?

Poobah says:
For the 47th time, no. Now excuse me...I have to call for my Barbara Streisand tickets and go get exfoliated.

From milesfrom730:
Is Santa real?

Poobah says:
Of course he is. Son of a bitch owes me 50 bucks. I'm gonna start whackin' some reindeer if he doesn't pay up soon.

From Fiatlux:
Why is it raining in Califoria at the end of May?

Poobah says:
Sorry it took me so long to respond to this, but God was on the phone crying that the San Andreas hadn't collapsed yet.

From Dannyboy:
What rumour about yourself do you wish to confirm?

Poobah says:
I have a massively large penis. What? What??!! Quit laughing, damnit!

From milesfrom730:
I hear voices that tell me to steal things and start fires, that's not bad, right?

Poobah says:
That depends. Is it a fire in my house? Are you going to steal my things? If not, more power to you! Pick me up something while you're at it.

From Nora:
Why hasnt your episode of Queer Eye been aired yet? I wanna see the makeover!

Poobah says:
Sunday, 8PM on Bravo. Don't miss it.

From Stephen Barendt:
Toliet Paper or Kleenex?

Poobah says:
For what? Maybe I don't want to know.

From Dannyboy:
What's up with Eliza Dushku's hair?

Poobah says:
I'm sorry, I wasn't looking at her hair.

From My Sister:
Why is my brother such an ass?

Poobah says:
If you had to grow up with you, you'd be an ass too.

Send me some questions for next week! Email me here. Put "ask the poobah" in your subject line, and remember to give a name! :)

Every Friday check out a NEW "Ask The Poobah"!

Any reproduction of this material is strictly prohibited by Black Swan, Inc and Um Err Productions.