Poobah says:
Rent-A-Ways prices are ridiculous.

From SPIKESMYGOD:
How far must one go before you censor or edit his/her question?

Poobah says:
Wait...you mean there's a way of editing this thing??!! Boy, these new-fangled contraptions have everything.

From Dannyboy:
Are you Ann Landers's kid?

Poobah says:
Yes. I'm the love child of Ann Landers and Dr. Phil. I have the sex tape, and trust me, it's not something ANYONE should ever see if they want to keep their sight.

From Nora:
How do I get my boss to realize I NEED a vacation?

Poobah Says:
Saying, "If I don't get a vacation soon, I'm gonna plow through this entire office with a semi-automatic" should work. You should get a nice vacation in a nice institution with pretty bars and scheduled outdoor playtime.

From Kirsten:
Dear Poobah, you keep telling us that in a week Hell will never be the same. Will we still call it "Hell" then?

Poobah says:
There's a good chance you'll call for a cab and never come back. But hell, what do I care? I don't really like you people anyway.

From Alicia:
Do toads really give you warts?

Poobah says:
No, that's a myth. I know Courtney Love can give you warts of the genital variety. I don't think she's a toad though.

From Sabarendt:
Does God exist?

Poobah says:
Of course. I had him over for dinner the other night. The dude kept smiting me for eating his french fries. Toooouchy.

From Spuffy fan1:
What would Meatloaf NOT do for love?

Poobah says:
"That". And what is "that", you ask? Miss a meal.

From *glow*:
As we all know Angel and Buffy had their own theme songs. Does the Poobah have his own theme song? If not, what theme song would the Poobah have playing as he entered a room?

Poobah says:
It's got to be "Girls Just Want To Have Fun". It's liberating. I just want to start braiding my hair, giggle and start pillow-fighting in my nighty when I hear that song.

From Dannyboy:
What are hair shirts?

Poobah says:
Hair shirts are really hairy bodies on dudes...or butch lesbians.

From Fat Tony:
Dear Poobah, I have a friend who likes you very much. Now this friend has another friend that's telling him he's gay and he should just ask you out and be done with it. So, my question, naturally, is how come no one's up and killed Colin Farrell yet? I mean, the guy's an ass!

Poobah says:
Hmm...I'm not gay and I don't know why someone hasn't killed Colin Farrell. Maybe since your friend will have enough time on his hands not dating me, he can go kill Colin Farrell since no else has done the proper duty for our society.

From Spuffy fan1:
Will there ever be a Hellhound Con in Spokane, Washington?

Poobah says:
That depends. Are you paying for everything? If so, I want a big suite with a gold sign on the door that reads, "Poobah is here, and he ain't paying for nothin'!"

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