== Send your Top 10 ==

[10.4.02]

The Top 10 Signs Your First Date Will Not Result In Lasting Bliss

10) Your date shows up with "Grrrr" Face. What a faux pax!

9) You get in your date's car and the radio is paying Cher. It could mean she's an escaped demon trying to steal your soul. Or just that her musical taste is abhorrent. Either way, get out. Now.

8) Your date takes a sudden hatred to your daughter. He could be one of those guys that can't share. Or a homicidal robot.

7) Your date is an obsessive-compulsive hand washer. At worst, a soul-selling impervious demon-wannabe. At least very irritating. You can do better.

6) Your date smokes. The only sure sign of evil. Or at least suicidal tendencies.

5) Your date offers you jewelry. Cross pendant, claddagh ring, heart locket, whatever. Outside Sunnydale, a nice gesture. In Sunnydale, a sure sign of unfathomable doom.

4) Your date orders a Bloody Mary and asks the bartender to put real blood in it. Bad news even if your name isn't Mary.

3) Your date is an exchange student with an obsessive interest in Incan culture. Really, anthropologists are just too boring. And can be just too forward about kissing you goodnight.

2) Your date froths incessantly about Star Trek and Dr. Who, and actually collects those Star Wars action figures, meaning he's either a totally pathetic geek or a dangerous psycho with serious issues about women and power. Just lose that phone number.

And the number 1 Signs Your First Date Will Not Result In Lasting Bliss...

1) You know for certain your first date will not result in lasting bliss if you have a tattoo on your backside that reads "TM: Property of Mutant Enemy, Inc." because Joss Whedon may have you believing in demons and witches and all sorts of things, but he doesn't believe in lasting bliss- thus you're never gonna get it.

[Brought to you this week by Life's A Show with help from diablita and Nowhere Person.]