So, we’re all sick of hearing about the finale, are we? Perfect time for me to step in and give a wholesome two cents worth of commentary. I know you’ve all been dying to find out what I thought of this episode. Okay, so you haven’t. But allow me this one moment of true happiness so that I might become evil again.

I recently re-watched the finale after it premiered on television, and I must admit that it is just as powerful the second time as it was the original airing. The first time I saw this episode, I of course was at the Slayer’s Ball party and seperated from my usual environment for Buffy watching. The second time, I was alone and had more time to evaluate the episode for it’s contents.

I have to admit, after watching this episode the second time, I found myself missing the applause that sprung up after Buffy told Angel to get out of Sunnydale. I missed the outbreak of laughs that rang in when Buffy made her immortal “cookie doe” speech. And now I have a feeling that everytime I watch this episode, I will remember hearing those sound effects and remember the setting I was in for the Buffy finale. It was bigger than the first moon walk, and I was there to experience it first-hand. Yes, it is true. This is the defining moment of an entire generation.

There is only one word that fits the description for this episode, and that word is “perfect.” I have lately been reading a few reviews from fans on websites outside of HellmouthCentral where the bulk of attention was focused on bashing this episode and calling it “weak” or “poor” or a “total let down.” Let me just get this out, and make it extremely clear....Joss created this show. Joss created the characters who live in this show. If Joss says the characters are doing something, they do it. When he says jump, they don’t have time to ask “how high?” They’re already in the air. Why? Because in the Buffyverse, Joss is God. Joss created it. So get over yourselves and stop trying to claim that you have a better view into something you didn’t even create.

But, to be fair, let’s take a closer look at these complaints and give them a bit of attention. Why? Well, what the hell else am I gonna spend all this time doing? One of the complaints I’ve read about concerns Anya’s death. Anyone who didn’t see this coming obviously hasn’t been paying attention this season. I’ve read a few dialogues where people have either said her death was “too quick” or “too short.” They felt she deserved something more dramatic. Maybe even a few final words. I couldn’t disagree more. First of all, she had her final words in the episode prior, discussing the oddity that is human nature. It, in some ways, showed how much Anya has grown and developed over the last five seasons.

Secondly, the sudden death with no build-up made it a surprise scene, even though most of us knew it was coming. Had this scene been built up to a higher climax, we would have known it was going to happen. So sorry I have to disagree here with those who feel let down by an amazing episode, but Anya’s “quick death” made her death more powerful than it would have been with a long lead-up. I felt it did the character great justice in this respect, and also shows the hell of war in the same instance. In some ways, it can be related to the Iliad, where the mood constantly changes between battle and play. There are no “goodbyes” on the battlefield. It also added to the effect of seeing Xander in the end. Especially when he was desperately searching for his lost love, and she lay but feet down the hall, her eyes open in death. But, to move on...

Here’s another one fans like to bring up: Spike and Buffy. The Spuffinators (more commonly known as Spuffyites -- or, for more degrading purposes, Spoofs) claim this scene was about Spike telling Buffy she didn’t love him so that Buffy would leave and not die because she truly did really love him beneath all the lies and what-have-you. Meanwhile, the Angeholics (more commonly known as Angelics -- or, for more degrading purposes, Anjokes) claim this was a moment where Spuffonia could die once and for all and Buffy could finally realize she didn’t really love Spike and Spike could finally see it for himself too. In other words, Buffy felt sorry for Spike and said she loved him to make him feel better, but Spike saw through the lie.

So, what do I think of this last scene between Buffy and Spike? Well, to be honest, I thought it was hillarious. And that’s all I have to say.

Buffy ended up alone, just as she deserves to be. Who really cares about the reason for it? Whether Buffy truly loved Spike or not, I personally don’t even care. And whether Buffy truly loved Angel or not, still not caring. And even when it comes to Riley, this author doesn’t give a fuck. I don’t care if Buffy belonged with anyone from Xander to Giles. I’m just happy she ended up alone. She needs to stop being so damn dependent on everyone else and start looking out for herself first and foremost. This whole needy aspect of the slayer really bugs me. Looky there. Another feminist theme to take note on. It’s called being independent. To hell with the shipping. And to hell with this sidenote. Let’s just get back to something more important...

The next item certain fans have brought up seems to boil me up a bit. That’s right. You guessed it. It concerns the former potentials. I’ve read and heard at this time numerous complaints coming in about the fact that some of my little SiTs survived. Of course, they are no longer little SiTs. Rather they are now full grown slayers. Even so, I will always remember them as my little SiTs, regardless of how old and experienced they might get. And now that they are on their way to lives as slayers, they are far more than able to handle and protect themselves. So why not let them survive?

I will, however, back up the notion that Rona should have died. She outlived her usefulness in her first episode (if you could even call it usefulness to begin with). The others who survived, if I remember correctly, were all on my “favorites” list back when I did an article on the SiTs. And that would be Kennedy, Vi, and Chao-Ahn. Interesting. Very interesting. Apparently I know how to pick em. Meanwhile, Amanda finally got toasted. Good deal. So how could anyone complain about that?

And while we’re on Amanda, a friend of mine brought up a really good question the other day that I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing here. She asked me, “Why didn’t Amanda’s parents take her with them when they evacuated the town?” At first, I didn’t have an answer. I was stumped. But then I got to thinking about it a bit more. My reply? “Have you met Amanda?”

And would you believe that some people didn’t even like the scene where Wood fakes his own death? Now if that wasn’t traditional Joss at play, I don’t know what is. It’s what seperates this show from the mainstream. It tugs at every emotion you have and then changes pace so quickly you’ll feel your insides twisting and turning and mixing themselves up. It’s supposed to do that. That’s what it’s meant to do. And if you found that scene tasteless, you’re definitely NOT a fan of Joss or any of the Buffy writers. And if you’re not a fan, why are you even watching? And if you’re not watching, why are you reading this? And if you’re not reading this, why am I talking to you?

This is not to say that the episode was without errors. There were plenty. Every episode is going to have nit-picks. That’s life. However, if we were to allow these nit-picks to hurt our enjoyment of the show, we would be insulting this seven year running vessel. But, to be fair, let’s just list a couple and get them out there so we can fill up some more space.

When it comes to the Ubervamps, it looks like they are a lot easier to kill when they’re in hordes rather than when squaring off in one-on-one competition. Even regular Joe’s like Xander and Andrew can hold their own in a fight against these creatures that before-hand had given Buffy the most bruises of her life.

And is it such a bad idea to break the slayer line and allow young girls who have no idea why they’re suddenly able to break bricks (not to mention necks) the ability to roam the streets of our world? Nobody seemed to think so from our team of heroes when they decided on doing just that. After all, the world was going to end anyway if Buffy lost, so might as well trade off for the greater good...or lesser of the two evils. By now we’ve probably got quite a number of young dark slayers running around the globe though. I really don’t know if all of them are going to be willing to join in the fight for good. Some are more likely to join in the fight for self-gain. Hey, what if one of these new slayers happens to be at a detention center or mental hospital? Oh, the possibilities.

But my number one nit-pick? It’s kinda funny actually. My number one problem with this episode is that it ended so damn well it makes me wish that there were a season eight. And that bugs me. That REALLY bugs me. Season Eight would have topped them all for sure.

But to be honest, none of these things really bother me at all. I watched this entire episode and not once did I find myself upset over a few minor questionable details. It makes me wonder about those who do find the time to let nit-picks stand in the way of enjoying an amazing episode. This was the episode where we said goodbye. It’s not the episode where we criticize every small microscopic imperfection that comes our way. Why? I don’t know. I just felt I was making a point there for a minute and decided to go with it.

When I say this episode was “perfect” I’m not referring to it being without those microscopic impurities. Rather, I am saying that this episode did everything it was supposed to and more. “Chosen” was so much more than just another episode. It was an event.

So, we say goodbye to these characters and let them depart from our televisions. We’ll no longer be joining them for their long journey ahead. It was fun while it lasted, but I’m sure there will be other great projects in store for the future. We’ll just have to wait for them and see.

Before I leave you this evening, I received an email this week reminding me that this Thursday, May 29, just happens to be “Ascension Thursday.” To be honest, I had no idea what that meant until I looked it up. Apparently Ascension Thursday is a Christian holiday which takes place on the 40th day after Easter Sunday. In other words, the thursday of the sixth week after Easter. It is a holy day of obligation. Which is interesting because I consider this article series to be quite holy as well. And I’m also obligated to write it, so...yeah.

So, to any Christian Hellhounds (funny phrase, by the way) out there, this is the Weekly Ascension wishing you and yours a happy Ascension Thursday. And to everyone else, I’ll see you again next week.

TTFN (Sorry, couldn’t resist the Chloe reference)