o r i g i n a l . a r t i c l e s

The Weekly Ascension
Fred = Girl Power
by Eric Hendrix -11.13.03
[ ehendrix@blkswan.com ]

 

Disclaimer: Reproduction of this article is strictly prohibited by Black Swan, Inc and Um Err Productions.

I have been a little shocked lately at all the people jumping all over Fred. I just don’t understand what everyone’s problem is, but as a loyal hellhound it is my duty to ridicule anyone’s opinion that doesn’t match mine. (Because I am clearly right and they are clearly wrong.) 

The first group of angry people is the Cordettes. As far as I can tell this delusional bunch of people are obsessive over the fact that Carpenter is off the show and that Acker is the new fang gang sexpot. You can pick these people out of the crowd because they are the ones obsessively droning on and on about how Fred is “Too thin”, “Look at her she is a stick figure, what could anyone see in here, they should have never gotten rid of Cordy.”, “Real women have curves.” Those are a few choice phrases that can be heard spewing from their lips, so if you are a member of this camp let me get a few things straight, just for you.  

  1. Cordy sucks. More accurately Carpenter sucks. I will say something here that every person on the Fox payroll is afraid to say. Carpenter is a bitch, and she became too hard to work with, so the axed her. PERIOD. I don’t wanna here any of this “They wanted to develop Fred more” or “They had to so they could afford Spike”. The bottom line is that they couldn’t work with her anymore, and most of us, myself included stopped liking the character after the Connor romps.

  2. The second thing is REAL WOMEN ARE FEMALES! I am so sick of this dumpy parade of people saying that the tiny women aren’t real women because they don’t have curves. My wife is very thin, and she eats more than I do, which is no easy task considering she is 100lbs and I weigh in at a super light 285lbs. She is very much a real woman, it is called metabolism, she has it, and us curvy people don’t. I am so sick of this self-righteous bull shit that all thin women are starving themselves to get that way. Some are, some aren’t, but the bottom line is that ALL of us are eating too much to get “curvy” and it’s not healthy. So don’t make it out to be how things should be.

The second rabid group of followers are the Spuffites. These are the people that automatically think that because Spike and Fred have spoke to each other in a room alone means that they will be knocking boots as soon as spike become Mr. Corporeal. (If he ever does, I don’t read Spoilers). So here is my wake up call for the Spuffites. Just because Spike talks to someone in private DOES NOT mean that he is gonna bang her, first off I don’t think that Fred is quite ready for a boyfriend that much older than her, and second off she already has enough men hanging off her i.e. Wes and Knox. And on that note Fred is NOT nor ever will be stopping Buffy and Spike from getting together in the one potential guest staring episode she may be on. Because Buffy and Spike will never end up together. (Even though I would like them to.) Buffy will never end up with anyone on AtS. Ever! Buffy will end up with a charming normal man, get pregnant and live happily, until he cheats on her, or is killed / bitten by a vamp or insert monster here. That is Buffy’s life she will never be happy, ever, because she is obsessed with herself being a victim, but that is an entirely different article. So that’s that you guys can stop complaining, and if you people have those thin girls woes see the Cordettes paragraph above. 

The third group we have are just plain Fred haters, also known as Jealous people. Many of these people may fit in the other categories as well, but the more extreme people go here. These people are mostly angry about Fred’s position in the fang gang. These people spew such blasphemous obscenities such as, and I quote from a yahoo group;

I just disagree with ME's portrayal of the character as a siren who bewitches every man to cross her path. Not even Faith gets this much male attention! It's gotten rather ludicrous this season with Wes still mooning (Come back, Lilah! We miss you and Wes needs you), Gunn apparently getting over her, Knox kowtowing and Spike traipsing after her. Does any female lead require this many suitors, potential or otherwise? There surely must be more to the character than an ability to do physics and attract men.”

Just by reading this one small paragraph you can see just how skewed these people’s view of AtS and the world is. These people are nerds, which is a good thing, I am damn proud to be one. They view Fred’s attractiveness and likeability as a betrayal to nerds everywhere, they she her as a poser if you will, a model in scientists clothing, they can’t get over the fact that three men on the show, possibly four if you count the wild possibility of Spike fawning over her, liking something about her. Cause lets honestly think about it, everyone knows that mature adult men don’t like beautiful women, with a nice sense of humor, that is honest almost to a fault and that you can always depend on, what do they see in her (that was sarcasm for all you Fred bashers out there, incase you are too dumb to see that), after all look at the other women they have to choose from. 

Buffy, because all guys love a self-absorbed self-loather, who uses men for sex and has to always be right, even when she is so wrong that she gets he best friend’s eye poked out.

Let's see how about Willow, gay! Next!

Well what about Cordy? I know I love a superficial bitch that is a gold-digger with a small since of doing what is right, that will sleep with my son after she finds out I love her.

Well there is always Lilah, because I love banging the evil woman that doesn’t want a real relationship, patronizes my taste in women, and tries to use our “sessions” to find out inside information about my do-gooder friends.

Lets see we could date Gwen, even with the anti shock device she is still a bitch, and a lame plot device.

Oh lets not forget about Eve, umm see Lilah.

And last, and certainly least Harmony, just reread Cordy, and add whiney voice, and lower IQ.

So the real question for all you Jealous bashers is why isn’t every guy on the show jumping at her, with selections like that all that is there is the ever lovable Fred, and our right hand pal that helped us through high school. 

Now that that has been taken care of I would like to explain my view on why Fred is so great. First off Fred is the first character on the shows to demonstrate true “Girl Power”. She has no chosen powers (Buffy), no demonic visions (Cordy), no Wiccan powers (Willow / Tara), she isn’t an ex/demon (Anya), and she isn’t made from a ball of energy (Dawn). She is Fred; she has made her own way with just what she is, Fred, no special powers, just herself. That is true female empowerment.

It tells women that they can be what they want to be, they can fight evil with out having to be given special powers. In the first story where she appears she has figured out the chant to activate the portals, she would have made it back with out the Fang Gangs help, given a little more time. Fred is the example of what “Real Women” can accomplish. She shows that women are powerful because they are women, not because they have searched out or have been given some power that helps them along her way. Think about it, how can Buffy be a shining example of female empowerment when her powers were given to her by men, all that’s says is that women can be strong, if a man helps, same with Anya. Think about Willow, yes she is very strong. But then the show told us that women cannot handle such power with out abusing it (Her little addiction), and to add insult to injury that had her go on a “PMS Rampage” after Tara was killed, obviously saying that if a woman gets angry she can’t control her self and will destroy anything in her path to reach her goal. Don’t even try to say that’s how someone would act in the same situation. Look back to season two, the killed Jenny, Giles’ loved one, but did he go dark and try to destroy the world? No, apparently the show tells us that’s what a woman would do not a man.  What about Cordy the human female with visions? Sorry they are too powerful for her, she has to go to a man and get demoned up to handle them. So clearly Fred is the only ray of light in mockery of woman power. She is the first example of a woman working things through as herself. She hasn’t sold out.

Just think about that the next time you want to bash her because “she is too thin”, or “likes your Blondie Bear”