Tractenberg really a 56 year old alien from Treilorg!

A recent expedition in "Dumpster Diving" behind Buffy star Michelle Trachtenberg's penthouse has caused us not only to come up with various clothing articles, but also some disturbing documents. These documents detail her trip from a distant planet named Treilorg, a planet mostly filled with beings with whiney voices. Cremagnolattiorphonjag - Tractenberg's real name - is a fifty six year old Treilorgian scientist. She is apparently conducting an experiment to prove her thesis that beings with voice patterns similar to the Treilorgians, can not only live normal lives on our planet, but excel in the entertainment industry. Cremagnolattiorphonjag has an organic suit that hides her true from, and is the appearance we have all seen her in. Unfortunently for Cremagnolattiorphonjag, her suit must feed off of 10W 30 motor oil and the flesh of "crappy sitcom writers" (sorry WB staff). The papers also outline her request for a model 249zfq suit that requires pizza and KY Jelly for fuel. More on this as the story develops.