Spike: Hello, girls.
Buffy: Spike, what are you doing here, almost on fire?
Spike: I've come looking for my lighter. I think I might've left it behind last time I was here.
Buffy: I swear, if this is an excuse for you to sing "Light My Fire", you're blonde dust.
Willow: Um, can I just make a pit stop and work a deafness spell on myself?
Doris: Hmmm, what's that?
Buffy: Um, it's not what you think. It's magic weed.
Dawn: Get out, get out, GET OUT!!!
Doris: I see what you mean...
Willow: Well, uh, you know, I was working on a deafness spell...
Doris: Again, I see what you mean.
Hairdresser: Hmmm... What do you want me to do with it?
Buffy: Just make me... different.
Hairdresser: All right. *snip snip snip* Hmm hmm hmmm *snip snip* hmm hmm...
Buffy: What's that you're humming?
Hairdresser: Oh, just a song I've got stuck in my head... "She does really well with fiends from Hell but lately we can tell, that she's been going to the barber, losing all her hair... "
Buffy: *WHACK*
Andrew: Gimmee!
Jonathan: No, itıs mine!
Warren: *gulp*
*ZAP*
Buffy: Hey! The haircut isnıt THAT bad!!!
Andrew: Well, itıs not the haircut. Itıs the makeup I mean, this show is still PG, yıknow
Buffy: *WHACK*
Buffy: Donıt strain yourself, Xander. Iım invisible girl.
Xander: *feel feel* *FONDLE*
Buffy: Um, Xander???
Xander: Oops, sorry! *teehee* Her clothes are invisible too
Buffy: You try that again, Iıll make your virility invisible.
Anya: Hey!
Willow: *glup*
Xander: Willow, we have to talk...
Willow: *glup* Well, we are talking...
Xander: No. I'm talking, you're drinking bottle after bottle of water.
Willow: *glup* You have a problem with that?
Xander: No. Let's behave and get down to business. I bring bad news. Buffy's blinvisible. Believe me, if you fell off the bandwagon and blundered, I won't berate you.
Willow: *glup* Did you just do that to see how many b's you could fit in a sentence?
Xander: Bullocks!
Spike: Hey, that's my line.
Willow: And you think it's my fault *glup* she's blinvisible? *glup* The nerve! *glup* Harrumph!
Xander: Hey, where are you going?
Willow: To pee.
Doris: It was the voice... It made my coffee dance!
Boss: It did, did it...
Doris: I'm not crazy!
Boss: I'm not saying you are. I just want to know, was the coffee in the mug when it was dancing? And what dance was it doing? The salsa, the merengue or the Macarena?
Doris: The Macarena??? What kind of wacko are you?
Xander: *bang* OW!
Willow: Oh, good *glup*, you found the fire hydrant! My bottle is *glup* empty!
Anya: Eewww. It's like putting your hand through pudding!
Xander: Oh no... We have to warn Buffy! If this happens to her...
Anya: She's pudding?
Xander: Yeah. But the question is, where is she?
Spike: I'll give you a hint. She's pudding, all right. She's forcibly pudding me to bed, she is.
Spike: *grunt... grunt... grunt*
Xander: Spike? What are you doing?
Spike: Wha...? What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising!
Xander: Ever thought of buying an ab-roller instead?
Spike: I already have one. An ab-roll-her. *snicker*
Buffy (whispers): Spike, once he's gone, you're ab-solutely dead.
Dawn: Good... No one's home. I'll just sneak in as if I had something to hide.
Buffy: Dawn! There you are...
Dawn: Buffy??? Where are you?
Buffy: Right here, behind the flying pizza!
Dawn: Geez, we left it in the fridge that long?
Dawn: I can't talk to you if you're invisible!!! Get out, get out, MMMPHHH!
Buffy: Invisible duct tape. I like it! Now you can't talk, period.
Meanwhile, at the coffee shop...
Willow: *type, click click type type *glup* type click click* Oh good, I found it! *glup*
Xander: What, the nerds' lair?
Willow: No, the bathroom.
Warren: We're your arch-nemesis...ses.
Buffy: You? You three beady-eyed nerds are my arch-nemesis..ses?
Warren: Well, just call me Warren Beady.
Cop: Hey, what's going on here? I've got dozens of kids saying this place is haunted! They said they heard a fight, some voices and a weird sloshing sound...
Willow: Oh, the sloshing sound is me. It's all that water I drank. Listen: *slosh slosh*. See? Hey, I can water-hula!
Buffy: Willow, couldnıt you just blame the sloshing sound on the dancing coffee?
Willow: I donıt know why everyone believes the show is getting darker
Buffy: Yeah, I canıt believe Andrew thought my makeup was trashy Itıs not trashy, is it?
Faith: You finished with my Harlot lipstick, dominatrix-o-girl?
Buffy: I realized that I didn't... that I don't... wanna die.
Willow: So you just went with the haircut.
Buffy: Huh?!
Willow: Well, you just said you didn't want a dye... *snicker snicker*
Buffy: Very funny. If I want a dye, I'll go see Spike.
Spike: Well, um, it's been a while since I did one...
Buffy: How come?
Spike: I dyed... so many years ago...
Buffy: *WHACK*
Grrrr... arrgh.