Buffy: Geez, who designed this uniform anyway? Stevie Wonder?
Manny: Actually, I think it¹s Steve DeKnight.
Buffy: That explains a lot. He has a dirty mind ­ he writes all that Spike smut.
Spike: Oh, and like you bloody mind!
Buffy: Spike, get lostŠ And by the way, my lunch hour¹s in 30 minutes.

Amy: I have a gift for you. *ZAP*
Willow: Oh no, what've you done???
*Touches pencil, pencil sags in her hands*
Willow: Um... Is this some kind of phallic message?
Amy: Well, from the looks of the pencil, you're still a lesbian.

Spike: So tell me, what¹s in the Doublemeat Medley?
Buffy: Nothing bleeding, if that¹s what you wanna know.
Spike: Oh, I wasn¹t wondering about that. It¹s just that some joints use a yummy special ingredient to hold the patties together.
Buffy: And what might that be?
Spike: Weetabix.
Buffy: *WHACK*

Halfrek: So this man with the large upper arms is your future husband?
Xander: HEY!
Anya: Go eat you spinach, Popeye.
Xander: She said large upper arms, Ahn, not large lower arms.
Anya: Nothing that¹s lower on you is large, Xander.

Buffy: Manny! I found a finger in the meat grinder!!!
Manny: Don¹t worry, Buffy. It¹s for a cocktail reception tonight. We¹re serving finger foodŠ Nothing to get bite your nails about. *teehee*
Buffy: Where¹s a vampire when you need him to do another kind of biting?

Willow: Oh, no!!!
Dawn: What?
Willow: I found out what's really in the Doublemeat Medley...
Dawn: So, is it people?
Willow: No... It's worse!
Dawn: Worse??? What could be worse to eat than human flesh?
Willow: *gulp* Haggis!!!
Xander: *cough* *hack* *belch*

Buffy (picking up Manny's foot): Oh, Manny... what happened to you? Looks like you kicked the bucket... *snicker snicker*
Manny's foot: Lucky for you I'm not whole, girl, or you'd get the boot.

Buffy: I can tell you have a dirty mind.
Wig lady: Why? Because I look like that woman from Throw Mamma From The Train?
Buffy: No, I think what gave you away was the giant penis monster in your head.
Wig lady: Hey, it's not my fault my character was created by Steve DeKnight!
DeKnight: I don't believe this. Do I have to get blamed for every bit of sleaze on this show?
Spike and Buffy: YES!!!

Willow: Missed me! *slay*
Wig lady: Oh... oooooohhh... *plop*
Buffy: Thanks, Will...
Willow: You know, as a lesbian, I really enjoy the symbolism of me slaying the penis monster that was keeping you subdued.
Buffy: Huh?
Spike (legs tightly crossed): Y'know... I think I'll ball, um call it a day...
Willow: Geez, and just when I was wondering if it'd turn to dust when I cut it off.

Amy: Hey Willow! Could I borrow a few spices off you?
Willow: *gulp* Do you mean, for magical use?
Amy: YeahŠ And look, to make them easier to carry, I brought my own RACKŠ *teehee*
Willow: Gee, what rhymes with rack? Hmm, let me thinkŠ Oh yeah! *WHACK*