Dawn: So Buffy… That parody guy was right last week. You were sleeping in Mom’s old room.
Buffy: I was?
Dawn: You were.
Buffy: Um… so?
Dawn: Two words: mom hair.
Buffy: One word: *WHACK*

Dawn: I’m here *pant pant* Has the plane arrived yet?
Buffy: What kept you?
Dawn: I thought there’d be, y’know, a slayerette running away from some hooded figures in some foreign country before this scene.
Xander: Yeah, I get how that could be disconcerting.

Buffy: Where is she??? Are you sure we’ve got the right plane?
Kid #1: *push*
Kid #2: HEY!!!
Father: Hey, behave or I’ll eat you like I did your brother.
Xander: Yup. Right plane.
Dawn: Demonic Airways.

Tagger: *SPRAY*
Gnarl: All alone…
Tagger: *SPRAY* Huh?
Gnarl: Frightened to be alone?
Tagger: Hey, whoever is here, you’d better clear out!!!
Gnarl: *SLASH*
Tagger: Aaarrrgghh! Oh God, why me?
Gnarl: Fate, I guess. After all, I didn’t ask to sound like the Grinch who Stole Christmas.

Anya: What are you doing here? I thought you were with Giles studying how to not kill people.
Willow: Actually, I just got back, and I need help. Can you fix these Orbs of Pain for me?
Anya: What??? Who do you think I am? A gullible vengeance demon?
Willow: Hey, I kinda remember tricking someone into freeing me from that stasis field Giles had put around me… Who could it be?
Anya: Right. Pass the Orbs.

Spike: You went away. You’ve been gone since…
Willow: Yeah… um, well I’m back now, and um, there’s a body outside.
Spike: Shut up. Can’t you see I’m talking to that empty spot?
Willow: What? Spike, concentrate! I need your help!
Spike: Don’t try to reason with me! I get better viewer ratings when I’m insane!
Willow: Oh yeah? Well I get better ratings when I’m skinning people… especially insane vampires.
Spike: So you were saying, dead body? Wait a minute, I’ll get a pad and take notes.

Anya: Hey look, that’s me! Hello!
Willow: Uh-huh.
Anya: Say, what’s that big clump of lights?
Willow: It’s the high school. It’s all hellmouthy.
Anya: And what’s that spot with the flashing neon arrow?
Willow: In the caves over there? I think it might be our demon. Either very stupid or very hungry.
Anya: Either that or it’s Beetlejuice.
Willow: I hate it when demons from bad movies try to cash in on our show.

Anya: *sigh* I can only teleport for official business. I have to file a flight plan and everything.
Willow: Well, you should try Demonic Airways.
Anya: What’s so special about it?
Willow: Trans-dimensional rebates, and, oh – all-you-can-skin bio bar. No MSG.
Anya: Hey, I thought I was supposed to be the funny girl in this episode!!!
Willow: Just drop them a chant at 1-888-FLY-EVIL.
Anya: JOSS!!! It’s not fair!

Xander: Hey look, she’s poseable!
Dawn: Mmmmmmuh!
Buffy: Oh, hello, what have we here? *giggle*
Dawn: Mumble mumble!!!
Buffy: What’s she saying?
Xander: I think she’s saying that her name is Dawn, not Gumby.
Anya: Oh, I don’t know, let’s try this – one leg here, an arm there, one hand over here…
Dawn: MUMBLE MUMBLE!!!
Buffy: Hey, cool, it’s like that Indian god with six arms standing on one leg! *giggle*
Dawn: Mmmmuh! MUMBLE!!!
Buffy: Oh, heck, what’s she saying now?
Xander: That she’ll knock the cr… um, the Krshna out of you when all this is over.

Xander: Boy, it sure has gotten dark since the last time we were here…
Buffy: Yeah, so how do we find those caves?
Anya: Oh look, there’s a sign on that post over there pointing in the right direction.
Xander: Hey, look! That’s not a post, it’s Dawn!
Dawn: Mmmmmmuh!!!
Buffy: Um, Anya…

Gnarl: *Tear* *gulp*
Anya: I wonder – don’t you Gnarl demons get high cholesterol from eating all that skin?
Gnarl: Well, that’s why I start with the lean areas, like the belly. If I wanted fat, I’d go for the cheeks.
Willow: …!!!
Anya: But Willow doesn’t have a round face…
Gnarl: Not those cheeks.
Willow: MUMBLE!!!

Buffy: *SQUELCH*
Gnarl: *Gasp* *Croak*
Xander: Ugh, thumbs! I can’t believe you did that!
Zombie from “Lessons”: C’mon, guys, dinner is served !
Buffy: What are you zombies doing here? I thought we’d dusted you when we broke that amulet!
Zombie: Eyeballs. They just keep you coming back for m…
Buffy: *WHACK*

Willow: Buffy.
Buffy: You’re meditating. I’ll leave.
Willow: Actually, stay. I meant to ask you what people will think of you and me swapping rooms, you getting the bigger one.
Buffy: Well…
Willow: And does the fact that I get a small, twin bed symbolize that my reunion with my friends notwithstanding, I am still alone?
Buffy: God, overanalyse much? You can have my mom’s room back if you want…
Willow: Really???
Buffy: That way *you* get the mom hair.
Willow: You know, on second thought, a small twin bed is underrated when it comes to intimacy. And this is, after all, the room where you had all the fun with Angel. And anyway, you look so much better with the mom hair.
Buffy: Oooookayyy… tomorrow we start discussing rent payments.

Grrrr… arrghh