Email me: sergiusmagnus@hotmail.com Fred: Oh my… a haunted bathroom?
Disclaimer: All BTVS and Angel characters are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Woman: You have to understand, my husband tends to have intestinal problems when he eats chilli.
Toilet: You can say that again, lady.
Fred, Gunn and woman: EEEEAAAAAGH!!!
Lorne: Angel, what are you doing?
Angel: Cataloguing my weapons by alphabetical order.
Lorne: Um… OK, but doesn’t “chainsaw” go before “sword”?
Angel: No, “decapitates” goes before “tortures”.
Lorne: I fear you.
Bird: *Splat*
Gunn: Splat?
Bird: *Splat*
Lorne: Uh…
Birds: *Splat splat splat splat splat splat splat splat splat SPLAT*
Gunn: Oh my God, it’s raining birds!!!
Lorne: Um, what’s he doing here?
Alfred Hitchcock: Oh, don’t mind me.
Gunn: But you’re dead!
Alfred Hitchcock: I wanted to be on Conversations with Dead People, but this will have to do.
Angel: I want to know what Wolfram and Hart knows about the apocalypse.
Lilah: Or what? You’ll kill Gavin?
Angel: No, I’ll just show you this nifty limited-edition Bad Boy Gavin Naked calendar.
Gavin: MMMUUUUHHH!!!
Lilah: OK, OK, I’ll tell you everything you want to know!!! Wanna take notes? Here’s a pad!
Cordelia: I love you. I think I always loved you. But while I was a higher being, I relived everything you did as Angelus. So I can’t be with you.
Angel: So I guess the chainsaw is out as foreplay, huh?
Cordelia: I rest my case.
Cordelia: You’re not coming with me.
Connor: I am coming with you.
Cordelia: What is this, some kind of hero deal?
Connor: This is my chance to prove to you that I can be a dark, brooding hero like my father.
Really Big Demon: *CRACK* Hehehe.
Connor: On second thought, there’s something to be said for being jolly and cowardly.
Waitress: OK, one more cup and then I’m cutting you off.
Fred: Waitwaitwait! TherearestillthreestainsontheceilingIhavetoclean!
Waitress: Come down, Fred. On second thought, I’m cutting you off now.
Angel: Oh, so I guess you’re the Big Bad Cordy was talking about, huh?
Demon: Hehehe.
Angel: Do you have a name?
Demon: Hehehe.
Angel: Do you plan on killing us?
Demon: Hehehe.
Angel: Do you know any other words apart from “Hehehe”?
Demon: *WHACK* Hehehe.
Angel: OK, I guess “whack” counts as a word.
Lorne: Oh my God! Great balls of fire!
Gunn: Lorne, I don’t think Jerry Lee Lewis has anything to do with this.
Lorne: Oh, shut up.
Fred: It’srainingfire! Ineedanothercoffee! It’srainingfire!
Waitress: *SHOOT*
Fred: *GAK* *Crumple*
Client: Thank you.
Waitress: Don’t mention it.
Client: What’s that, by the way?
Waitress: A syringe gun they use to calm elephants.
Client: Nifty.
Cordelia: Hmmm. It’s the apocalypse. Let’s make love.
Connor: I thought you didn’t want to see my… balls of fire. *snicker*
Cordelia: That’s the general idea. You can’t talk if you’re making love. And besides, I get paid good money to provide a cliffhanger.