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Disclaimer: All BTVS and Angel characters are property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Spike: *grab PULL choke*
Chloe: Yaaaaaghh!!!
Buffy: Cut!!! OK, that was awful, girls. What were you thinking of?
Rona: Uh, surviving?
Buffy: Wrong, wrong, wrong! You have to think like a Slayer!!! Chloe? What were you thinking of?
Chloe: Uh… Spike wears nummy Axe body deodorant spray?
Buffy: Right! Now you’re thinking like a Slayer!

Buffy: C’mon girls, I know being a Slayer means “breathing death”, but at least you guys have a purpose in life! By the way, Dawn, in your non-Slayer-in-waiting capacity, you get to prepare for school while we superpower types have fun.
Dawn: *sigh* You really don’t believe in subtext, do you?
Buffy: Oh, cheer up, Cinderella. At least you get to survive.

Molly: Hands up! *chuckle laugh*
Dawn: Aim that thing at me again and I’ll…
Molly: You’ll what? You’re not even a SIT!
Dawn: I still have access to your diary AND your pink coat. And I have matches.
Molly: I see your point. OK, let’s mothball the crossbow.
Dawn: Atta girl.

Willow: OK… and we finish off the spell by throwing in a hard-boiled egg. *throw*
Anya: What’s that for?
Willow: Just in case we have to begg for the spell to work. *chuckle*
Xander: Very funny.
Willow: I know… don’t I just crack you up? *chortle roll on the floor*
Anya: Speaking of cracking… I preferred her when she was evil.
Dawn: *Sniff sniff* What’s that awful smell? Uuuugghhh!!!
Anya: Yeeeeeewwww, Willow is still evil!
Willow: I so am not!!!
Xander: Maybe Elizabeth Taylor is the next SIT.
Dawn: What???
Willow: Yeah, I mean, those perfumes are just rude!!!
Elizabeth Taylor: OK, I’m suing for libel.

Willow: Oh God! Dawn’s a potential!!!
Dawn: Wha…? Oh no, oh no, this is too big for my head!!!
Willow: No, no, don’t worry, the crown’ll fit just fine…
Dawn: That’s not what I meant!
Willow: I know. I just saw the opportunity for a word pun and jumped right in. Besides, you still have to wait for Buffy to die before you’re called.
Faith: EXCUSE ME!!! *I* am the real Slayer here!!!
Willow: Bah, a little confusion never hurt anyone. Oh, and Dawn – when you become the Slayer, you get your own show, and, um, you should start thinking about your music theme.
Dawn: Music theme? Cool!
Faith: Joss, make them stop!!!

Dawn: So how’d you get that cut on your forehead?
Amanda: You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.
Dawn: You’d be surprised. Try me.
Amanda: Well, I was attacked by this man, well I think it was a man… there was something wrong with his teeth…
Dawn: You were attacked by Ted Kennedy???
Amanda: What?!!
Dawn: Well, I assumed, since you said there was something wrong with his teeth. There’s no way those are his real ones.
Amanda: *sigh* Just get me Buffy, will ya?

Clem: Hey girls… c’mere. I wanna show you something…
SITs: *Lean lean*
Clem: YAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
SITs: Gyaaaaaaahhhhh!!! *flee*
Spike: Great. Clem the Swiss-army-knife-face demon.
Clem: Hey, I like that!
Buffy: Actually, how’d you learn to do that?
Clem: I watched Beetlejuice.

Dawn: Don’t worry… I’ll take care of this.
Vampire: *Drop* *Tackle* Hi.
Dawn: Get out, get out, GET OUT!!!
Vampire: *sigh* Just get Buffy.
Dawn: HEY, I said I can take care of this!
Vampire: *groan* If you say so…

Chloe: It’s a body!
Buffy: No… it’s leftovers.
Kennedy: Ewww, and they look… old.
Rona: Don’t vampires know about Saran Wrap?
Molly: And is that beard stubble supposed to be blue?
Newborn vampire: OK, violent feeding time. With extra violence.
Buffy: Geez, talk about the leftovers talking back to ya.
Vampire: *WHACK*

Dawn: *WHACK* *WhackwhackwhackWHACK*
Vampire: *sigh* Can we call Buffy now?
Dawn: HEY, I’m not finished!!!
Bringers: Oh yes you are. Oh, and Amanda, hey, we’ve been looking for you.
Dawn: You have??? Oh my. Hey, Amanda, I guess I am finished. Here’s the crown, have a great time. Bye!

Dawn: *sigh* *research*
Xander: Ahem…
Dawn: What’re you doing, standing there?
Xander: I thought you might like a nice, comforting speech on me seeing you for what you really are. And I also have a present.
Dawn: For me??? What is it???
Xander: Open it.
Dawn: Uh, a membership to the Useless Characters Support Club? Gee… *pout*
Xander: Hey, we’ve got some quality people in there! The current chairman is Charles Gunn, I’m the treasurer…
Dawn: And I see Riley is the secretary. How comforting.
Xander: Hey, he’s a founding member!
Dawn: I don’t doubt it for an instant.