Overall Rating: 9.4 Matt: 9.5 Eric: 9.3 Written by: Marti Noxon Directed by: James A. Contner Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, David Boreanaz as Angel, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles. Main guest stars : Seth Green as Oz, Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers, Robia LaMorte as Jenny Calendar, James Marsters as Spike, Juliet Landau as Drusilla, Elizabeth Anne Allen as Amy Madison, Mercedes McNab as Harmony Kendall, Lorna Scott as Miss Beakman, Jason Hall as Devon. Original broadcast date : February 10, 1998 My one-line description: Somebody did a spell and turned Xander into Tom Jones. In the cemetery, Xander shows Buffy a heart pendant he plans to give Cordelia. Buffy thinks it’s nice, but tells Xander he could find someone better. He replies that he and Cordy are getting along better these days. At school, Cordelia’s friends make fun of her for dating Xander. Harmony asks when they’re going to start wearing matching outfits – she can’t wait to vomit. They walk away, laughing, as Cordy stares incredulously. In English class, Miss Beakman instructs the students to hand their papers to her before they leave – anyone who leaves without doing so gets a failing grade. Buffy hands her paper to Miss Beakman, and then Willow does… and then Amy Madison – the girl from "The Witch" - just stares at the teacher. After a moment, Miss Beakman makes the gesture of taking a paper that isn’t there and put it on her pile (!). Amy smiles and moves off, as Xander stares in disbelief. Xander catches up with Buffy and Willow and asks them if they saw Amy’s mojo act. Giles shows up and asks Buffy if he can have a word with her – but before they can do so, he spots Miss Calendar. She greets him, but both are uneasy - and Buffy isn’t even trying to hide her animosity towards Jenny. Finally, Giles tells Jenny they’ll talk later – right now he has something he must discuss with Buffy. In the library, Giles tells Buffy he’s been reading up on Angelus’ activities and habits – and it seems he’s prone to brutal displays on Valentine’s Day. He offers to take over patrolling, so she can stay off the streets for a few nights. At the factory, Spike gives Drusilla a beautiful ruby necklace for Valentine’s Day; however, he’s quickly outclassed by Angelus, who produces a still-bleeding human heart. Tying Spike’s necklace on Drusilla’s neck himself, Angelus muses about how to send his regards to Buffy… At the Bronze, Xander sits with the gang, waiting for Cordelia to show up. She enters, looking stunning, and heads for Harmony and co., but they snub her. At the Summers house, Buffy hears the doorbell ring. She goes to answer it, but no one’s there… As she goes back inside, she notices her mom is gone… She goes to the kitchen, and Joyce re-enters from the back door – someone left some flowers for Buffy there. "Soon", reads a small card in the bouquet… Xander goes up to Cordelia. She starts to say something to him, but he recites his romantic speech and produces his present. She opens it, pulls out the necklace… and tells him she wants to break up. Xander gets angry – any day in the year is good for breaking up, except Valentine’s Day. He stomps away. The next day, Xander has a very hard time at school – everyone who has learned of his being dumped by Cordy is laughing at him. He passes by Cordelia, Harmony and the girls, and they outright trample his ego. Cordy looks away, ashamed, as a saddened Xander walks off. He catches Amy in a corner and threatens to reveal the mojo she worked on Miss Beakman if she doesn’t help him with a little spell… He wants Cordelia to love him and want him badly, so he can break up with her and put her through the same hell she put him through. In the library, Buffy shows Giles the card from Angelus; she asks him details on the kind of things the vampire is in the habit of doing on Valentine’s Day. Xander intercepts Cordelia in the hallway and demands that she return the necklace he gave her. She’s offended, but he insists – so she opens his locker door, and while he’s not looking, she takes the necklace off her neck. She slams the locker door, and hands him the necklace. He snatches it from her and leaves. In a dark room, Amy performs the spell, reciting an incantation to the Goddess Diana; she puts the necklace in a boiling brew, and then instructs Xander to put out the candle. The room falls completely dark. The next day, Xander enters the school and goes straight to Cordelia and her gang. He tries his power, but she rebuffs him – it seems the spell hasn’t worked. He leaves – and doesn’t hear Harmony comment favourably on his hair. He goes to the library, where Giles and Buffy are reviewing Angelus’ documented habits. Buffy runs her hand through Xander’s hair, trying to comfort him on his breakup; she suggests they get together tonight, just the two of them, and comfort each other… Amy comes in and asks a perplexed Xander if she can see him. Outside the library, Amy tells Xander that the spell failed. He’s OK with that, but she wants to try again – or just hang out with him… She starts coming on to him, while he sees, through the window, Buffy looking seductively at him. Suddenly, another girl, Katie, passes by and asks Xander if they could study together… Fleeing the scene, Xander arrives home and enters his room, where he breathes a sigh of relief. But he’s not alone… Willow is sitting in his bed. She declares she wants him to be her first – and she’s not talking about softball. She steps out of the bed – only wearing one of his shirts – and pins him against the door. She tries to kiss him, and he freaks out and runs away. She looks heartbroken. The next day, Harmony and co. are giving Cordelia the cold shoulder again – this time, for hurting Xander’s feelings. Cordelia is angry and confused. A terrified Xander walks across the hallway. All the girls look at him in adoration, while all the guys glare angrily. Entering the library, he pleads Giles to help him. Jenny enters and walks resolutely up to Giles, intent on having a sincere talk with him. However, it’s only a matter of moments before she only has eyes for Xander… Giles is incensed that Xander would do this. He orders him to stay in the library, while he goes to look for Amy. He drags Jenny away with him. Xander is alone in the library… or not. Buffy enters, wearing only a raincoat and high heels. Xander backs away as she advances on him; he begs her not to open the raincoat, and declares sincerely that this isn’t real to her – it’s just a spell, and he doesn’t want her like this. Buffy thinks Xander is playing a game, making her feel like this and then rejecting her. She looks on the verge of hurting him when Amy enters and orders her to get away from him. The girls face each other, and Buffy hits Amy. The witch gets up and recites an incantation, poofing Buffy… who has become a rat. Giles and Jenny enter just in time to see said rat scamper away. Now it’s Jenny’s turn to face Amy…. The witch prepares to strike again, but Xander puts his hand over her mouth, so she can’t finish the incantation. Cordy is confronted at her locker by Harmony, her friends and a crowd of angry-looking women. They want to avenge Xander by hurting Cordy… physically. Giles and Xander are trying to catch the Buffy-rat. Suddenly, the door slams open and Oz enters. He goes over to Xander and punches him hard; the Buffy-rat takes the opportunity to escape into the hallway. Oz calmly explains that he was on the phone all night listening to Willow cry about Xander. Noticing that Buffy is gone, Giles grows even more furious at Xander; he orders him to go home and lock himself up while he, Amy and Jenny work on a reversing spell. He asks Oz to help look for Buffy, while Xander leaves, hurt and ashamed. In the hallway, Xander hears a commotion and realizes that a crowd of women is attacking a cornered Cordelia. When he arrives, a part of the mob goes after him, while another part keeps hurting Cordy. He manages to get to her and lifts her in his arms. They run away as the mob follows – including the portly cafeteria cook. In the library, Giles is trying to get Amy and Jenny to focus on what may have gone wrong with the spell, but they’re more inclined to trade barbs concerning which one of them Xander prefers. Giles loses patience and lectures Amy on her obsession; when he turns around to sermon Jenny, she’s gone… Outside the school, Xander and Cordelia face an even bigger mob, this one led by an angry Willow bearing an axe. She tells Xander that she loves him so much she’s rather see him dead than with that bitch. Luckily for Xander, Harmony starts wrestling with Willow for the axe, allowing him and Cordelia to take off. At the school, Oz follows the Buffy-rat down into the boiler room with a flashlight. Xander and Cordelia run to Buffy’s house for safety; Joyce opens the door and lets them in, wondering what’s going on. They go to the kitchen, and Joyce asks Cordy to go upstairs get some bandages for Xander. Joyce offers to make Xander a drink… and then comes on to him. Xander’s head thuds on the table in total defeat. She starts to massage his shoulders; Cordy comes back, and two women fight; Cordy manages to lock Joyce outside the house. They go up to Buffy’s bedroom, where they think they’re safe. But Angelus appears at the window and yanks Xander out. Meanwhile, Buffy the rat faces a new danger – a rat trap filled with tasty cheese. Angelus demands to know where Buffy is, and then throws Xander off the roof. Landing beside him, he lifts him with one hand. Xander knees him, and Angelus replies with a backhand. As he prepares to drain the teenager, a pair of hands grabs him and throws him against a tree… Buffy? No. Drusilla… She’s fallen victim to the spell, too. Angelus is appalled. Dru asks Xander how he likes the idea of eternal life, but before she can act on the idea, a huge mob led by Willow and Jenny appears. Drusilla and Xander are surrounded, and then separated. Willow raises her axe, intent on killing the object of her love… and Cordelia pushes her out of the way. They make their way to the house and barricade themselves inside. Joyce appears with a knife, also intent on killing Xander – a lot of that going around – and the couple flees to the basement. At the school lab, Giles and a reluctant Amy are preparing a new brew, while in the boiler room, Oz tries to attract the Buffy-rat to him. Meanwhile, Xander and Cordelia have nailed the basement door shut, but some of the frenzied women are starting to break through the basement window… In the lab, Giles and Amy finally finish the new spell… just as the Buffy-rat goes for the cheese. A flash fills the boiler room, and Buffy appears behind some crates – naked. This part completed, Giles and Amy prepare the second spell… Xander and Cordy are now submerged under angry women. At the lab, Amy throws Cordy’s necklace in the second brew; there is a great flash of light… and in Buffy’s basement, the frenzied women stop and stagger back, dazed. In the boiler room, Buffy shyly asks Oz to go get her some clothes. Sometime later, Xander and Buffy talk about the recent events. Xander reports that Willow won’t even talk to him; as for Buffy, she remembers everything – including begging Xander to undress her. She tells him that what he said to her about not wanting her like that meant a lot to her. Cordelia and Harmony are gossiping about boys (what else) when they bump into Xander. Harmony talks down to him – as usual – and resumes her talk with Cordy. Cordy interrupts her and calls her a sheep, goes to Xander and takes his hand. As they walk away, Cordelia panics at the thought of what she’s just done. Summary by OttsFiveByFive.