Overall Rating: 8.35 Matt: 8.0 Eric: 8.7 Writer: Jane Espenson Director: James A. Contner Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Seth Green as Oz, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles. Main guest stars : James Marsters as Spike, Adam Kaufman as Parker Abrams, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Mercedes McNab as Harmony. Original broadcast date : October 19, 1999 My one-line description: Which fiend would you rather date? Harmony, Parker, Anya or none of the above? At the Bronze, after a Dingoes gig, Willow and Oz chat while Buffy looks at a mirror, secretly gazing at Parker playing pool behind her – and ascertaining that he’s not a bloodsucker. As she ans Willow discuss her feelings for him, he comes up and offers to take Buffy home. After they’ve left, Oz goes to help the Dingoes pack their instruments, leaving Willow by herself. Guess who comes up to her… none other than Harmony. They comment on how they each haven’t changed, but then Harmony proves that she has indeed – she goes into vamp face bites Willow. Oz arrives just in a nick of time and brandishes a crucifix in the vampire’s face. Pouting, Harmony takes off, threatening them that her boyfriend won’t be happy that they were mean to her. As Parker and Buffy walk back to the dorm, he asks her about the scar on her neck - from when Angel bit her – and she attributes it to an angry puppy. He tells her that his own scars are mostly psychological, dating back to when his dad died the previous year. As they sit down, he comments that the trauma convinced him to live in the now, and she agrees – taking her own drowning experience as an example. Parker then asks her out to a party the next evening, and she accepts. At Giles' place, Xander is helping to shelve books (after all, Giles doesn’t have an office anymore) when Anya arrives and lets herself in. Taking Xander outside, she asks him where their relationship is going, confusing him just a bit (Huh? What relationship?). He tries to explain to an uncomprehending ex-demon that these things develop on their own. Parker and Buffy have just arrived at her dorm room and are preparing to kiss when Willow and Oz arrive – and hint to Buffy that Harmony’s back, and that she’s "changed". The Slayer sends Parker away and listens to Willow’s account of Harmony being a vampire and having a "boyfriend". Harmony has indeed gone to see her boyfriend, who’s drilling underground with a team – presumably vampires. It’s Spike, no less, who quickly gets annoyed with Harmony’s whining (she wants him to kill Willow, but he counters that killing the Slayer’s best friend would reveal his presence in town). She then whines that she wants to go to a party, and Spike relents, agreeing to take her to one. Buffy and Parker just happen to run, at said party, into Spike and Harmony. After a moment f stunned recognition, the two vampires bolt, and Buffy, having told Parker to stay put, goes after them. Outside, Spike springs out of a bush and punches her. As they fight, she asks him if he ended up with Harmony because he lost a bet, and Harmony – being Harmony – blurts out that Drusilla left Spike for a fungus demon. She annoys Spike even further by telling Buffy she’ll be sorry when they find the Gem of Amara. An angry Spike leaves, dragging his "girlfriend" away. Anya shows up at Xander’s place, and as he turns to go get her some juice form the fridge, she drops her dress to the floor… Taking a break from the party, Buffy finds a payphone and calls up Giles, telling him about Spike, Harmony and the Gem of Amara. He promises to research it, although he’s convinced the Gem is a myth. She tells him that she’s going back to bed, but heads back to the party instead. Back at Spike’s lair, Harmony tries to get Spike to forgive her by making jokes about the fact that she doesn’t have a pulse. Eventually, her vampire charms (erm?) work, and Spike joins her in bed. At Xander’s place, a naked Anya explains to Xander that having sex with him will help her put him out of her mind. He argues a bit, but she very directly asks him to take off his clothes – and they kiss. At the party, Buffy tells Buffy that the English guy was just an old friend who’s not supposed to drink. Parker asks her if they ever dated, and Buffy snickers at the thought of it. Then, after some dancing and some romantic conversation, the two of them end up in Parker’s dorm room… Some time later, Giles places a call to Buffy’s room, but is greeted by the answering machine – um, that would be because she’s busy having sex with Parker. The next morning, Buffy wakes up in Parker’s bed – alone. Covering herself up with a sheet, she looks for her clothes. Parker arrives with coffee, and basically throws he out, telling her his mom is visiting today. Meanwhile, at Xander’s place, Anya is also getting dressed. She tells Xander that she’s over him now, and he just says "okay". Anya reacts badly and storms angrily out the door. And finally, Spike also wakes up – to find Harmony writing "Spike loves Harmony" on his back. However, he doesn’t want to play; he’s got work to do. Buffy goes back to her dorm room and finds Willow and Giles there. She starts to make excuses, but then tells him she’s an adult, and it’s none of his business what she been doing. Actually, Giles isn’t that interested – he just wants to tell her that apparently, the Gem does exist, in a sealed underground crypt. Buffy asks him and Willow to look for it, while she goes after Spike. After Giles has left, Willow giddily pumps Buffy for info on her night with Parker. Underground, Spike has punched into what seems to be the crypt, and orders Harmony not the leave until he has the Gem. When he comes back later, she’s trying on some jewellery. He himself tries on a necklace, which he thinks is the Gem, but it doesn’t work. Finally losing patience with Harmony (who wouldn’t?), he stakes her – but it doesn’t kill her. Looking at the ring she’s wearing, he realizes it’s the fabled Gem… He tries to rip it of his finger, and she angrily throws it at him. He takes it and leaves her there. At Giles' place, Oz is going through the Watcher’s vinyl records (he wants to borrow all of them), and Xander is watching TV. A report comes on, stating that a sinkhole was created in a road near UC Sunnydale, presumably due to erosion. They figure out that Spike has found the crypt, and take off. Meanwhile, Buffy finds Parker on campus, giving another girl his "live for now" talk. She asks him why he didn’t call her, and he answers that it’s no big deal; then he dodges her invitation for another date, which prompts her to ask him what she did wrong. He explains that it was fun, but that it was all that it was; he then walks away, leaving a hurt Buffy behind. As he walks away, Spike appears and punches Buffy. As they fight, he comments on how nice to be out in the daylight; she stakes him, but he laughs it off. Willow, Giles and Oz arrive at the underground crypt, but find only a distraught Harmony, who whines about being a vampire before attacking them. Meanwhile, Xander knocks on the door of Buffy’s dorm room – to no avail. He turns around to find Anya there, trying to explain that she didn’t mean she was over him. However, he has little time for it and excuses himself, leaving her there. . While Giles holds her off with a stake, Harmony reveals that Spike has the Gem of Amara – she would’ve given it to him if he’s asked nicely – then takes off. Elsewhere, Spike is putting said Gem to good use, trouncing Buffy. Xandere shows up and tries to intervene, but the vampire just knocks him out of the way and continues to beat up the Slayer. Trying to get to her, he comments on her sex life – especially Parker and Angel – which gives Buffy the anger dose she needs to grab his arm and rip the ring off his finger. He starts to sizzle, but manages to jump into a sewer hole before burning off. Later, at Giles’ house, the gang discusses what to do with the Gem. Buffy announces that she wants Angel to have it. Oz volunteers to give it to him on his next gig in L.A. That being settled, Buffy can focus entirely on the Parker issue. Walking back with Willow, she confides that she doesn’t understand why he doesn’t want her. Willow comments that he’s a poophead. Buffy agrees, then tells Willow that she needs to walk alone for a bit. She walks around the campus, utterly depressed – and unaware that Harmony and Anya, equally distraught, are doing exactly the same thing. Summary by OttsFiveByFive.