Overall Rating: 7.0 Matt: 7.0 Eric: 7.0 Writer: Doug Petrie Director: James A. Contner Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, James Marsters as Spike, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles. Main guest stars : Marc Blucas as Riley Finn, Lindsay Crouse as Maggie Walsh, Mercedes McNab as Harmony Kendall, Adam Kaufman as Parker Abrams, Bailey Chase as Graham, Leonard Robert as Forrest. Original broadcast date : November 16, 1999 My one-line description: Buffy can’t work a yogurt machine, Riley can’t dance, Spike can’t bite… Geez, what is college for? Riley is sitting in the campus cafeteria grading papers while his friend Forrest comments on all the cute girls – including Buffy. A third guy, Graham, joins them and they start commenting on Buffy, whom they find quite "mattressable". Riley evenly comments that Buffy is too peculiar for his taste. And indeed, Buffy is making a show of herself – overfilling her soda and breaking the handle on the yogurt machine so that the yogurt spills everywhere. Elsewhere, Spike wakes up muttering about killing the Slayer. As he takes a look around him, he realizes that he’s not in Kansas anymore. He’s in a cell with bright white walls and tiles, kept closed by a Plexiglas window. The camera pans out to show an entire row of similar cells, all occupied by demons or vampires… Spike tries to touch the door of his cell, but is thrown back by an electric forcefield. At his place, Giles and Xander are looking at a sketch of what the commando guys look like. Buffy arrives and enlists them for patrol that night – she’s going to a party with Willow in an attempt to cheer her up. She then leaves, stating that she’s going to find something slutty to wear (go Buffy go!). Back at the cell compound, packets of blood drop onto Spike from the ceiling. He grabs it, but his cell neighbour warns him not to drink it – it’s drugged and once you drink it, you pass out and they experiment on you. Spike concludes that Buffy did all this to him, and vows revenge. Meanwhile, said Buffy is continuing her klutz act, breaking her ballpoint pen in Psych class and spreading ink everywhere. After class has ended, Willow goes to see Professor Walsh, to notify her that Daniel Osborne (Oz) hasn’t dropped out of class, he’s just gone for a bit. The teacher coldly answers that if Oz can’t stick to her schedule, he shouldn’t come back. Willow leaves, chastised and almost in tears, and an angry tells Professor Walsh that she should show more consideration toward human behaviour, since that is what she teaches. As she leaves, Walsh exclaims that she likes the girl. Riley asks her if she doesn’t find Buffy a bit peculiar… In Xander’s basement, Giles and Xander are rounding weapons dating back to when Xander was military guy. He assures Giles that his skills may be fading, but he’s still the best in hand-to-hand combat. A bit of out context, Mrs. Harris calls down to ask if the boys want punch. Giles asks if it’s raspberry flavoured… Back at UC Sunnydale, Riley is describing to Forrest how Buffy spoke to Maggie Walsh – Forrest thinks the girl has guts, but Riley thinks she’s crazy. Then Parker walks by, and Forrest asks him about Buffy. Parker says that she’s OK, but goes on to make very rude comments about how good in bed she is – and crack a joke comparing Buffy to a toilet. This prompts Riley to punch him out, and realize that he really does like Buffy… At the cell compound, Spike has pretended to drink one of the blood packets, and is lying fake-passed out on the floor of his cell. Some white coats come to pick him up and drag him outside for tests, and he takes the opportunity to attack. As he knocks the doctors out, the other vampire screams for him to let him out, claiming he knows how to get to the exit. The two make it only so far before commando guys appear; Spike throws the other vampire at them and escapes. Riley pays a visit to Willow in her room, asking for some advice on Buffy’s tastes and interests. Willow notices that Buffy’s weapon bag is sticking out from under her bed. Getting up, she tries to shove it with her foot, till Riley does it for her, not even looking at the contents. Then Willow goes on to make an angst-filled speech about how if Riley asks Buffy out, one of them will end up with a broken heart. She does help him, though, stating that Buffy likes cheese, that she has a stuffed pig Mr. Gordo, and that they’re going to a party that evening at Lowell House. She does warn him, however, not to get fresh with her best friend. Spike returns to his crypt, where Harmony is busy hanging a poster. She’s both happy and angry to see him, but he swears he’s here to stay with her this time – once he kills Buffy. She gets physical, and he complains she’s hurting his head. At the party that night, Willow goes over to Riley and tells him that based on Buffy’s outfit, she’s there to dance and have conversation, nothing too heavy. Before he goes to talk with her (he can’t dance) she warns him that if he hurts Buffy, she’ll beat him over the head with a shovel. Thoroughly warned, Riley goes over to Buffy and attempts to make small talk. Then… he offers her cheese. On patrol, Giles decides he and Xander should split up, so Xander goes off on his own… and finds Harmony burning a pile of Spike’s CDs. The two of them engage in a hilarious girly fight, ending up in a headlock and finally deciding to let go of each other on the count of three. She starts whining about Spike leaving her for her quest to kill the Slayer, and Xander takes this opportunity to bail – leaving her alone to light her fire. At the party, Riley is back sitting beside Willow, mourning the fact that he failed in his conversation with Buffy. Then a Dingoes song comes on, and Willow becomes really sad. Sensing it, Riley makes a sign to the DJ to cut the song off. But Willow, now very down, asks Riley to tell Buffy that she’s going home. Riley does so, and takes the opportunity to ask Buffy something – but just as he’s about to do so, Xander arrives and tells Buffy he has to talk to her. At about the same time, Forrest and Graham tell Riley he’s needed somewhere else. They go to a mirror, which does a retinal scan of them and opens up to reveal an elevator. The computer asks for ID, and Riley identifies as Special Agent Finn, Riley – and down they go. As they emerge into a huge laboratory complex, Riley wonders what kind of girl would want to go out with a guy who’s a demon-hunter by night. Meeting them, Professor Walsh reports that they have a Code Red – Hostile 17 (Spike) has escaped. She puts him in charge of the operation to get him back, and he takes Forrest and Graham with him. At Giles’ place, Buffy is going over the plan. First of all, she’s pissed that Spike just keeps coming back to Sunnydale, especially on her night off (Xander deplores that they had to take her away from that Teutonic beauty that is Riley). Second, she’s going to lure Spike to her and kill him… alone. Xander does insist that she take his flare gun, though. In an office on campus, Spike finds Buffy’s room number on a computer list… Riley’s team sights Buffy sitting by her lonesome on a bench. Riley takes off his commando garb and tries to convince her to go home, that it’s too dangerous outside. She tries to do the same for him, but they just argue. A girl screams, and Riley and Buffy bolt in different directions. Riley goes back to his commando team, and they track what they surmise to be Spike, using an electronic device. Lying still depressed on her bed, Willow hears a knock on the door and says "come on in". Bad mistake… it’s Spike. He gives her a choice – stay dead or become a vampire. She screams, so he cranks up the radio to drown her voice, and move in for the kill (oh no…). The next scene shows Spike sitting on the edge of the bed, looking quite disappointed. Apparently, he can’t bite Willow – he gets a horrible pain in his head when he tries. Willow blames herself, thinking that she’s not attractive to him. In an unprobable but hjlarious dialogue, she tries to comfort him and suggests they wait 30 minutes and try again. Then, coming to her senses (yay Willow!) she whacks him over the head with a lamp. She tries to exit the room, running into the commandos, who grab Spike and put a bag over his head. While they discuss whether to take Willow into custody too (she could be a vampire), Spike escapes. Buffy arrives and shoots her flare gun, pretty much blinding everyone. In the smoke, Buffy and Riley unknowingly fight each other, till Riley calls for aborting the mission. At the lab, Professor Walsh chews on Riley for bungling the mission, but he explains that they came up against a strong, male accomplice of Spike (Buffy). He reminds her that Hostile 17 can’t hurt anyone with "the implant" in his head… The next day, Riley runs into Buffy and apologizes for his behaviour the previous evening. After some awkward conversation, he reveals that Willow told him she liked cheese. Buffy comments that he’s a little peculiar; with a boyish grin, he answers that he can live with that. Summary by OttsFiveByFive.