I'll Never Tell (vocals by emma caulfield and nicholas brendon) Anya This is the man that I intend to entangle Isn't he fine? My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle Vengeance was mine! But I'm out of the biz The name I made, I'll trade for his The only trouble is I'll never tell. Xander She is the one She's such wonderful fun Such passion and grace Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight- Embrace! Tight embrace! I'll never let her go The love we've known can only grow There's just one thing that No. I'll never tell. Anya and Xander Cause there's nothing to tell. Anya: He snores Xander:She wheezes Anya: Say "housework" and he freezes Xander:She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe Anya: I talk; he breezes Xander: She doesn't know what "please" is Anya: His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe! Anya and Xander The vibe gets kind of scary Xander: Like, she thinks I'm ordinary Anya: Like, it's all just temporary Xander: Like, her toes are kind of hairy Anya and Xander But it's all very well Cause, God knows, I'll never tell! Anya When things get rough, he Just hides behind his Buffy! Now look, he's getting huffy Cause he knows that I know. Xander She clings She's needy She's also really greedy She nev Anya His eyes are beady! Xander This is my verse, hello? She- Anya (Spoken) Hey, look at me! I'm dancing crazy! Anya and Xander You know Xander: You're quite the charmer Anya: My knight in armor Xander You're the cutest of the Scoobies With your lips as red as rubies And your firm, yet supple... Tight embrace! Anya: He's swell Xander: She's sweller Anya: He'll always be my feller Xander: That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified Anya I've read this tale There's wedding, then betrayal And I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide Anya and Xander I've lied I've said it's easy I've tried But there's these fears I can't quell Xander: Is she looking for a pot of gold Anya: Will I look good when I've gotten old? Xander: Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful? Anya: Will I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley? Xander: Am I crazy? Anya: Am I dreamin'? Xander: Am I marrying a demon? Anya and Xander We can really raise the beam in making marriage a hell! So, thank God, I'll never tell! I swear, that I'll never tell Xander My lips are sealed Anya I take the Fifth Xander Nothing to see Move it along Anya and Xander I'll never tell!