C: What am I missing?
D: Not a thing I can see.

D: We just need the income to pay for the out-go around here.

C: I know Angel's been working day and night to help people fight their personal demons. But *I* need a raise.
D: A raise? You've been working for him for, what, 20 minutes?
C: A month. And I have needs.
D: Needs?
C: A person... needs... certain... designer... things.
D: Personally, I don't think you need much in the way of clothes.

D: He likes playing the hero. Walking off into the dark, his long coat flowing behind him in that mysterious and attractive way.
C: Is this a private moment? Cuz I could live you alone.
D: I'm not saying *I'm* attracted....

C: We're going to stand up to him.
D: We're standing up.
C: Just as soon as he's had his coffee.

A: What is this?
C: Last week's coffee. Think of it as... espresso!
A: I think my esophagus is melting.

A: I'm not comfortable asking people for money.
C: Then get over it!
A: ::look::
C: I mean that in sensitive way.

D: Pen. Paper. Single Malt Scotch.

D: This ain't single malt. It's.... poly-malt.

D: Maybe I'm a *little* attracted.

M: I said Penny! I was very clear on the phone. I spelled it with letters!

Boss: Oh this is so sweet! You've only been here a month and already you know four of the letters of my name.

M: I brought this for you. I painted the pot myself, so feel free to break it by accident.

A: Am I intimidating? I mean, do I put people off?
C: Well, as vampires go, you're pretty cuddly. Maybe you might want to think about mixing up the black-on-black look.

C: You're a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard.

C: Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless.

C: She's coming in.
A: I gotta change my shirt.

C: He helped you; you felt obligated. Plus... a doctor.

A: We're gonna help you.
C: Big time. And for a reasonable fee!

M: Thanks. You guys have been really kind, listening to me, and ...
::sips::
It's terrible.
D: We're gonna take care of that.
M: No, I mean the coffee.

C: Not everything has to be creepy and supernatural, you know.
A: Not everything, but Doyle had a vision.
C: Which last time led to a sex-changing, body-switching, tear-out-your-innards demon, right. I guess they don't call you for the everyday cases.

C: Okay, flesh. Anytime you want to stop crawling is okay with me.

K: So, judging by your uncomfortableness I would say you're either about to ask me out on a date or you need a favor.

M: You know, you really don't have to stay with me all day.
D: Ah, protect and serve -- it's entirely my bag. If I'm not in the way.
M: Oh no. I like it. As long as you're not bored.
D: Oh no. I've got the word jumble right here. It'll keep me occupied. Sadly, for most of the day.

M: I guess Angel's handled a lot of cases like this.
D: Dozens. Hundreds. Dozens of hundreds!
M: It happens that often?
D: Well, exactly like yours? Not quite so many. But protecting young women such as yourself? Oh yeah, there's been... ah... four... and three of them are very much alive and ... is that you?
M: Uh.... yeah. Bungee jumping.
D: Ah, I've always meant to do that, but I intensely don't want to so ... I haven't gotten around to it... yet.

D: Don't worry. When Angel's finished with this case, I guarantee you'll be wanting to jump off a bridge again.

K: Wolfram & Hart, you know the name?
A: I've heard it.
K: They're the law firm Johnny Cochran is too ethical to join.

K: This guy could go to jail tomorrow, Angel, and still kill her in her dreams every night. I've put a few of these creeps away, and the hardest part is knowing that he's still winning. She's still afraid. He took this girl's power away, and nobody can get it back for her but her.

Nurse: Another article about Meltzer, huh?
C: Well, our readers at the, uh, Journal of Diagnostic
Orthop--etcetera seem endlessly fascinated by him.

Nurse: When you sever a limb, you only have so much time to re-attach before it atrophies.
C: Yuck!

C: So, he's good at the cutting and the sewing.... He ever strike you as a big dangerous creep?

C: What is stalking nowadays, like, the third most popular sport among men?
A: Fourth, after luge.
C: This guy has a lot to lose. What is it about Melissa that's got him going all O.J. here?

C: Ugh! What a fun date you must have been back in your Bad Vamp Days. On the other hand, it should give you some insight into the jerks of the world.

C: Did you steal this book?
A: Yeah.
C: Good.

K: Who is this guy, Houdini?
A: Something like that.

D: Did they get any prints?
A: Yeah.
D: Good, so we can put him behind bars... for about 90 seconds, until he skitters through 'em.

D: Not a lot of things make me shudder. But this guy? Crawling around under the covers? At least it was just his hands down there.... I wish I hadn't even thought that.

A: He's coming undone.
D: I'll say.

A: He's killing now.
D: Anybody that stands between him and his obsession.
::Looks around::
Don't *we* stand between him and his obsession?

D: Whoa!
C: I was just trying to fix your collar.
D: What say we leave it crooked until this thing is resolved.

A: You don't have to be afraid.
M: You're just duct-taping me in for fun?

C: You should listen to him, Melissa. He knows what he's talking about. He has stalked plenty of...
A: ::glare::
C: Books ... on the subject.

C: Steel boxes? Why would you want.... oh. For packing up people parts. You know, this job. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have it, god knows it's educational and all, but sometimes....

C: It's the special line.
A: Answer it.
C: Right, right, okay. Now who are we again?

C: What if he comes apart on you?
A: He comes apart on me... he's gonna stay that way.

C: What did you put in her tea?
D: Enough whiskey to drop my Aunt Judy. And that woman had some girth.
C: *sigh* What's the point?
D: Well, it tastes good, and it relaxes you.
C: No, I mean of ever going out with anyone.
D: Well, people need people. And people who need people ... are the luckiest p-
C: Either you like them, and they don't like you. Or you can't stand them, which just guarantees that they're going to hover around and never go away.
D: I hate guys like that.

C: It's just so unfair. I mean, this poor girl, she hooks up with a *doctor*. That should be a good thing. You should be able to call home and say "Mom, guess what? I met a *doctor*" not "Guess what I met a psycho who's stalking me, and oh, by the way, his hands and feet come off, and he's not even in the circus."

C: What if Angel doesn't come back?
D: Ah, he'll be back.
C: What if Dr. Chopped Salad shows up before he does?

M: Angel's right. You're weak.
R: *I'm* weak? Then how is it I killed him?
A: ::slams door open:: Inefficiently.

R: (to Angel) You can't be alive! You're not human!
M: You should talk.

C: Oh goody, recycled coffee. My personal favorite.

A: He's in 12 steel boxes buried in 20 cubic feet of concrete in L.A.'s newest subway stop.
D: That ought to bring in the tourists.

M: I brought this for you guys.
::hands Angel a plant::
A: Hope it doesn't need light.

C: *cough*cough*cough*
D: *ahem*
A: Uh, um, it's...
M: What?
A: There's, uh, a bill?
M: Bill who?
A: A bill... for my services.

C: See? You can save a damsel *and* make decent money. Is this a great country or *what*!?

D: Let's march down to the bank right now and deposit this beauty.
A: You guys go on. I think I'll stay here and not burst into flames.
D: Oh, right, you're pretty much the night deposit guy.

D: Well, still, cause to celebrate.
C: You think everything's a cause to celebrate.

C: We need more of these.
D: We'll have more soon enough.
C: Well, we need them now. Have a vision.
D: I just can't perform on demand.
C: We need the clients. Have a vision.
D: That money's corrupted you.
C: If I hit you in the head, will you have a vision?
D: Get away from me -- you're insane!