H: Ooo. Send in the Clowns *and* Tears of a Clown -- both in one night. What a treat.
A: Yeah, well, uh, I was sort of going for a medley, uh, thing.
H: Yeah, yeah. More of a duo-dley, though, wasn't it?

H: You've been practicing haven't you?
A: A little.
H: Probably not in front of the mirror.

A: I still can't believe you're here. I mean, I killed you.

H: Somebody get these two love vamps a room!

C: This isn't mere dust. This is Son of Dust. This is the kind of dust that spawns
countless generations of little baby dust.
C: I give up.
W: Very well. We'll just move our offices back to your living room.
C: And I'm dusting. . . .

G: Where's Angel?
C: I believe the word is "hello."
G: Yeah? Cuz I thought "where's Angel" summed it up.

C: He's still sleeping.
G: Sleepin'? It's 3:30 in the afternoon. I been up since dawn.
C: (to Wes) Sort of missing the whole Creature of the Night angle, isn't he?

G: Could one of you go in there and knock on his coffin?
C: He doesn't *use* a coffin. And maybe you've never heard the expression
"Let sleeping vampires lie"?

C: Maybe we can help.
G: You two? I find Divac, I'm gonna need more than C3PO and Stick Figure
Barbie backin' me up, no offense.
W: Very little taken.

DN: Demons of the underworld beware. Your time on this earth is drawing nigh!

DN: Got here as quick as I could.
C: We paged you two days ago.

DN: Identify yourself, traveler. Are you also a fellow demon killer?
G: Who is this guy?

DN: Where's Angel?
C: Actually, he's still kind of sleepy.
DN: At 3:30? I've been up since dawn.

DN: I stand ready to fight the good fight, sir. Whaddya need?
A: Financial advice.

DN: Oh, that's easy. You could look into seller financing, take over the owner's payments,
and skip the bank completely; or you could make a play for a preservation grant and offer
to restore the original decor and get the city and the feds to give you a tax break and a loan
at a sweetheart rate; or you could apply for an FHA and get a PMI in lieu of a down payment.
C: Is anybody else getting warm? Do that tax breaks, FHA, and PMI part again.

A: Cordy? You're driving.
C: Me? Drive your car? So cool!

W: Shotgun!

G: We're too late. He split.
C: Maybe he heard what a pleasant person you were to be around.

C: I am so sick of dust.
A: I can't lift my arm all the way.
G: This vamp did a number on my ribs.
W: 'Fraid I threw my back out again.

C: Grease stains! All over my new outfit. [off looks] Okay, so maybe my pain isn't
physical, but do you have any idea the dry cleaning bill I'm looking at?

C: When you do find him, you may want to be a little more Guy Pierce in
L.A. Confidential, and a little less Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs.
G: I haven't bothered to see a movie since Denzel was robbed of the Oscar
for Malcolm X. Later.
W: That was quite a performance.
C: I know! Talk about wound up too tight.
W: No. I - I mean Denzel.
C: Oh. Well, he's always great.
W: (to Angel) What about you?
A: Who doesn't love Denzel?

C: Okay. I'm gonna die.

A: What are you doing here?
W: Gunn's in trouble. Can't. Breathe.
A: Gunn can't breathe?
W: I . . .can't. . . breathe.
A: Oh. Sorry. W: Uh. Oh, s'quite all right. Now, about the naked thing.
A: I'll get dressed.
W: Much appreciated.

C: There you go. Good as new.
Joey: I think you cracked my skull.
C: Well, that's new, right?

C: I was just trying to help you.
G: Thanks for the help. Always enhances a guy's rep when some skinny white
beauty queen comes to his rescue -- in front of his crew!

C: Whether you want to believe it or not, you are in big time danger. I'm Vision Girl. I saw you.

G: Thanks for coming, buckle up, drive safe. [beat] Where's your car?

C: Do you know what he's going to do to me when he finds out I let his car get stolen? I mean,
what are the chances that a vampire has full insurance with a low deductible?

C: You're just gonna ask them to give it back?
G: I'll say please.
C: Oh! I forgot! You'll use your famous charm, like you did this afternoon with that pigeon stool.

G: You don't have a clue why I do things I do.
C: Paging Mr. Rationalization!
G: Paging Miss About to Be Thrown Out of a Moving Vehicle!

C: You need protection.
G: And how exactly do you plan on protecting me -- with some weak-ass, lady smith battle axe?
C: Ask Joey and his cracked skull just how "weak-ass" it is.

G: Mace?
C: To squirt, squirt -- right in the eyes.
G: You expecting me to be jumped by a couple of purse-snatching demons?

C: I'm your protector whether you like it or not.
G: This thing better attack me soon, cuz I *know* I can't take much more of this.

W: What's the problem?
A: It's just, you know, the whole visibility issue not to mention the whole hat head thing,
and I mean, when you really think about it how come I have to wear the lady's helmet?
W: Stop being such a wanker and put it on.

W: Looks good. Hop on board gorgeous.
A: You'll pay for this.

G: New acquisitions are in the garage.
C: Getting the full make over, I bet.

C: Geez. Short enough leash? Or do you just go all warm and tingly on the whole power trip thing?

G: Now, we when get inside. Just shut up and stay close to me.
C: Hold on there, Generalissimo. I'm not one of your toy soldiers you can just boss around.
G: I don't even want you here.
C: Too bad. I am here. And I don't take orders. [beat] Except from Angel. And at least he
usually asks nicely. And besides, I don't need you how to tell me how to behave at a party.
Trust me. I know how to blend.
[Party. Party. Not Cordy's style.]
C: Okay, not exactly blending. Maybe I'll just shut up and stay close to you.

Veronica: Who's your friend?
C: Who me? I'm no friend. I mean, I'm just here on business. I'm a working girl. That came
out wrong. I mean, obviously, I'm not "working girl." Not that I couldn't be if I wanted to. Of
course, I could. God, that sounded stuck up, didn't it? I didn't mean to imply that I could be a
working girl and you couldn't. Far from it! You'd make a great. . . . Could you just point me
to the hors d'oeuvres?

C: Are you friends with, like, every criminal in town?
G: Now, see, there you go assuming those brothers are criminals.
C: Aren't they?
G: You mean like your friend David Nabbit? You think he became a billionaire by being
a good citizen?
C: Actually, he did. He made his first millions developing software that lets blind people surf the
Web. Plus, he set up a foundation that donates $20 million a year to countless charitable causes.
G: Yeah, well you let me know when some of that corn trickles down to these parts.

C: Take it easy.
G: I can't take it easy. I can never take it easy. Not for a second, all right? The minute I forget
that, somebody like Alonna pays the price.
C: Alonna?
G: [pause] Veronica. I can't stop. I can't ever stop.

G: You drive it out of here; I'll follow you home.
C: Just as soon as find the keys.

G: You know, I gotta tell you. You are one high-maintenance chick.
C: The keys are here. Somewhere.
G: You are *killin'* me.
C: Can't you, you know, hot wire it?
G: Just cuz I know some car thieves doesn't mean I am one.
C: Hey, instead of being High Moral Ground Guy, why don't you help me find them?

Divac: How touching. A woman willing to die with her man.
C: Oh, no. He's not my man. He's just a friend. And . . . about the willing to die part?

G: You must be Divac. They told me you was ugly, but damn.

Divac: Surival of the fittest, brah. And right now, you're not looking too fit.

W: Angel, look. I found your keys. Unfortunately, this substance doesn't appear to be coming off.
A: What is that?
W: Demon blood. Or demon pus. Or possibly both.

G: Well, you finally saved my life. I guess I should say thanks.
C: Yes, you should.

D: Always the protector, never the protected.
A: I have so many things to make up for.
D: And you have. You take care of so many people. But who takes care of you?
A: [Smiles] You do.

D: I could just eat. you. up.