Wesley: When they went out of business they just left these here?
Cordy: Yup. Also the desk. We'll share.
Wesley: And when we go out of business we can just leave our stuff for the next guy.
Cordy: Hey, hey, negative energy boy, with all of our money pooled together we can stay here a long time.
Wesley: Hmm. 20 minutes.
Cordy: At least.

Cordy: It'll happen. This is our future, you know? And, personally, I think it is pretty bright. Ow! (Hits her head on a planter hanging from the ceiling) Dead plant! -- *Not* symbolizing our future. Really!

Cordy: Now we can just sit back and let the calls roll in.
Gunn trying the phone: They better roll in through a bull horn. We've got no dial tone.

Wesley: Aha! Things are looking up. I think I found the right wire. Ah!
(All the lights go out.)
Gunn: I'm so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining. Really.

Host: Hey, big fella. You're gotta be singing all the time in here, am I right? Come on, with these acoustics? (sings) 'and the rockets red glare!' -- Do you hear that resonance?
Angel: What I hear, and maybe, hopefully, I'm still dreaming, is the star-spangled-banner being belted out by a loud green demon.
Host: We're all brothers under the skin, mi amigo. Although the garden hue and the horns have kept me out of some key public performances. Just once I'd love to ring in a Lakers game with our national anthem. Is that so much to ask?
Host: What's today? Thursday? Tomorrow night -- the world's going to end. I thought you might want to know.

Host: Man, you just get darker and darker. And the weird thing is, your aura? Beige.

Host: Or a duster, buster. I don't know why you fired those three plucky kids. They were good company. Not to mention, Cordelia? Uh! Hot-o-rama! In the 'oh my sizzling loins' sense of the word, if you know what I mean. And the British boy? He's gonna be playing a *huge* -- well.

Angel: Can you just get to the point already?
Host: Yes, I can, if you'd let me get a word in edgewise, Mr. Get-to-the-point-y-pants.

Angel: Why'd you come to me?
Host: Isn't it obvious? You're a champion. A unique force for good in a troubled world. -- Also, all the other champions I know are currently out of town or -- dead. Why? You don't want to work with me? -- Is this because I sent you on a couple of missions that turned out to be a little...
Angel: Pointless and deadly?
Host: As for example. But I sent you on those missions in good faith. And we interrupt this broadcast to inform you: world ending? Kind of an emergency situation here. You might want to get on board.

Mike: You know what you are?
Val: Yes. I do, Mike. And if you say it I'll put your face in liquid nitrogen.

Val: Einstein's entwined. Can you say that ten times really fast?

Val: Look, I like the theory of freezing time as much as the next Star Trek nerd...

Gene: Your dog and his favorite bone preserved forever -- in his own impenetrable little bubble.
Val: And who's gonna clean up that bubble?

Bartender: Demons. We get a couple now and then but they're usually vampires passing for human.
Host: Well, I never pass on anything, mister, especially when it comes with a little umbrella in the glass.

Bartender: I don't know his name but he comes in every few weeks. Runs with the whole broken heart songbook. First time I thought somebody died. But after a couple of weeks I figured he was just one of those manic depressants.
Host: Hey, Goliath, you got a good picture of this grad student in your head? (Bartender shrugs) Well, how about singing a few bars of 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow', hmm?
Bartender looks over at Angel.
Angel: Oh, you know, he's a demon. You better do what he says or he might -- talk your ears off.
Bartender: For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow...

Demon (subtitles): He's the one. He doesn't know it yet, but he's the one. (Walks over to the dry erase board) From nothingness the human pestilence came, into nothingness it goes.

Wesley: Sometimes you need to wallow. Just let the depression settle in -- silently.

Gunn: How do you avoid reality?
Virginia: Money. It cures everything but boredom (holds up the basket) and food cures boredom, so there you go.

Cordy: Uh, wait. By 'big guy' do you mean demon?
Virginia: Yeah. And by 'house' I mean palatial estate, and by 'grateful' I mean they'll give you big tubs of cash. Really rich family. They invented, uhm, I don't know, like -- chairs, or something.

Gene: I did it. -- Oh, this is a yee-ha moment. I -- I definitely think this is a yee-ha moment! (Runs out of the lab.) Yee-ha-ha!

Angel: Where did you learn how to drive?
Host: Just now in your car. Not bad for a beginner, huh?
Angel: What? You nearly got us killed -- four times.

Host: I better stick to the shadows and think of something to say should we happen upon a comely co-ed.
Angel: Tell her you're the new school mascot.

Angel: Student yearbook/faculty publications going back past five years. Lets see if we can't find your little madman bent on destroying the universe.
Host: I like to think of him as *our* little madman. That's just me, team player, you know?

Val: Oh, my god. You're gonna give him the sympathy bone, aren't you? It's gonna be dinner, sympathy bone, and adios Gene. I'm totally right, aren't I?

Gene: So I'll give her the kind of love that lasts.

Angel: What did you say to it?
Host: I said we come in peace. I don't think he believed me.
Angel: And what did he say to me?
Host: He said 'you shall not stop the golden child, the one for whom we have waited.' Lubber demons, they have a way with words.

Mike: What's that?
Angel: Don't worry. It's just the new school mascot.
Mike: For the Buccaneers?
Host: Not your school, silly.

Host: So there is another gear after that number two thingy? Oh, relax. I'll pay for a tune-up. Unless the world ends, then I'm off the hook.

Host: Oh, this whole sour pussy mode of yours, it's starting to grate. You know what your problem is? -- Are you listening?
Angel: Do I have a choice?
Host: Your heart isn't in it anymore.
Angel: I don't have a pulse so technically I don't have a heart.

Host: Yes, you do. If the world were to end tonight, would it really, in your heart of hearts, be such a terrible thing? (Angel doesn't answer) Now- now, sweetie, is that a fun place to be?
Angel: I think you should shut up now.
Host: I'm the host. Have you met me? I never shut up.

Angel: You want to know what my problem is? I'm screwed. That's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil. News flash! I never can! Never going to be enough. Now I got Wolfram and Hart dogging me, it's too much! Two hundred highly intelligent law-school graduates working fulltime driving me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But no, it's 'Angel, why you're so cranky?' 'Angel, you should lighten up. You should smile. You should wear a nice plaid.'
Host: Oh. Not this season, honey.
Angel: Redemption. Darla had a shot at redemption. They took it from her. Now I have to hunt her down and kill her. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kill her, and then I'm gonna burn that law firm to the ground. My crew -- they couldn't handle that. That's good. It means that they're still human. It means their better off fired.
Host: You kind of left them in the cold.
Angel: It's a lot colder in here.

Host: It's not always gonna be this way. The song changes. Unless, of course, we don't get there on time, in which case -- you'll be frozen in this *crappy* mood forever. I shudder to think.

Gene: Listen, I am -- really, really sorry. I had no idea I was putting the whole world in jeopardy or -- or there were all these demons. -- Although the idea of aliens among us is consistent with Murdoch's multi-verse. I just -- I just didn't want her to leave.

Angel: Well, you know -- love, it's a fire.
Gene: You been there.
Angel: It burns you. -- Alive. Down to the bone. And then it turns the bone to ash...

Host: It just don't work, Gene-y. It's like a song. Now, I can hold a note for a long time (laughs) actually I can hold a note forever. But eventually that's just noise. It's the change we're listening for. The note coming after, and the one after that. That's what makes it music.

Angel: Well, the guy is a disaster at love, and nearly destroyed the world. I can relate.

Man: I just -- I need help. Is this Angel Investigations?
Wesley: Uh, yeah, you're in the right place. Ah. Sorry about the confusion.
Cordy: We're just having a little celebration. A new beginning kind of thing.
Man: Oh, well, maybe I should...
Wesley: No!
Gunn: No, no. You need help, you're in the right place. We can talk in back. Come on in.
Man: Which one of you is Angel?
(The three of them exchange a glance.)
Wesley: It's just a name.