F: "Why do girls want to look like that? I spent years in a cave starving... what's their excuse?"

F: "He's so deep, you know? Thoughtful? I'm guessing _Brothers Karamazov_. Joyce. A little Goethe to round things out...."
A: "Am I the only one who read this?!?
W: "Read what?"
A: "Charleton Heston! Double feature! At the Nuart! Soylent Green _and_ The Omega Man!"
G: (underwhelmed) "Wow."
A: "It's 2-for-1!... Did I mention _Charleton Heston_?"

A: "Well the worm certainly has turned."
F: (giggles) "Y-yeah... the worm is turning and... Am I the worm?"

F: "...and he opened every door for me, and he paid for the tickets, and he even bought a jumbo popcorn, and every few minutes he'd go like this (mimes offering it to her) because he wanted me to know it was o.k. for me to have some, and he's _so_ lonely, because he's the last man on earth...."
W: "Angel?"
F: "No, Charleton Heston. _The Omega Man_. Omega being the last letter of the Greek alphabet so it's a metaphor, and he walked on the street side and not the building side -- it's old-fashioned, but kind of chivalrous, you know?"
W: "We're back to talking about Angel."
F: "Right."

C: "She's got the big puppy love. I mean, who wouldn't? You're handsome, and brave, and heroic... (sees Angel's head expanding visibly) ...emotionally stunted, erratic, prone to turning evil, and -- let's face it -- a eunuch."
A: "Hey! How can you... I'm not a eunuch!"
C: "Angel, it's just a figure of speech."
A: "Find a better one!"

F: "Can you imagine shelling out all that money for a snazzy suite, and then *kerplop* -- you're a big bag of mush-bones? ...I guess it wouldn't be good wherever that happened."

GymGuy: "Woody? I heard he... uh, like... died."
A: "He... uh, like... did."

C: "Did you ever see anyone come in who looked suspicious, ...or really pale, ...or green and scaly?"

GymGuy: "You know I don't see anything that connects the three of them... except that they were in the evening Pilates class together."
A: "Pilates. Is that like Tae Bo?"
GymGuy: (snorts) "Yeah, if you're livin' in 1999."

C: "Well, get in. I'll take you back to the hotel."
Ma: "All _right_! Back to the ho-tel! pretty nice!"
C: "Are you all right?
Ma: "Honey, I've never been better!"

Ma: "Cordelia... have I ever told you you're a very beautiful woman?"

Ma: "Talk with Fred?"
C: "Yes. Just keep it simple: 1. You're not like other men. 2. There's no room in the workplace for romance."
Ma: "Romance with Fred. So I'm a.... (looks down at self) Obviously."

Ma: "Hey, Angel. How's my head? Hope you put some ice on it. Sweet deal you've got going on here. Love the hotel. And Cordelia... *whoa*! That's how I spell W-O-M-A-N!"

Ma: (to Wesley) "So! We've got to talk. Thing is, I've got nothing against you personally, it's just... this is going to be harder than I thought... I just don't know how to spit this out...."
W: (coming over closer) "Angel, whatever it is, you know I'm here for you."
Ma: (scoots chair back halfway across the room) "Yeah, that may be the problem. Uh... um... I mean... whatever we... had... whatever we... _did_... I just think that we should keep that behind us... start from scratch. You know, two men, working side-by-side... but, you know, none of that funny stuff. Shake on that?
W: (puzzled) "I guess."
Ma: "Hey! All right! Give me a hug!"
(yanks Wesley into a bear hug)
C: "Wesley! Food's here!"
W: (muffled in Ma's shirt) "O.k.!"
Ma: "Wesley?"
W: "Yes."
Ma: "Do you know where Fred is?"
W: "Up in her room I expect..."
Ma: "*Her* room. Right!"

Ma: (to Gunn) "Thanks, Bro. Keep the change on that."
G: "O...kay."

G: "Oh, and I got copies of their telephone bills too."
Ma: "Hey, isn't that illegal? I mean don't these guys deserve a little privacy? ... What?"
C: "Why are you eating?"
Ma: "I'm hungry."

C: "Escorts? *Oh* you mean hookers?"
G: "I should probably interview them right away, while the trail is hot."
W: "I'll take this one. You interview the hotel staff, it's only fair if we divvy up...."
G: "Yeah, _I_ figured it out..."
C: "_I'll_ interview the hookers. Are there any men who aren't just dogs?"
Ma: "Not very many, I'm afraid." (to Wes) "You know, a woman is more than just a piece of meat. Sorry, that's just how I feel."

Ma: "Fred... have I ever told you you're a very beautiful woman?"

Ma: (to Lilah) "Have I ever told you you're a very beautiful woman?"

L: "Son of a bitch!"
Ma: "Sorry, just felt like the thing to do."
(she pulls out a cross and shoves it at him)
Ma: "Whoa, what are you born-again all of a sudden?"

L: "I don't know what kind of sick game this is, Angel, but I hope you enjoyed it, because you're never getting this close to me ever again."

C: "If Julia Roberts ever makes a realistic movie about being an escort, I think it should be called 'Pretty-Skanky Woman'."

F: (sobbing) "I should have knocked. I always forget to knock, 'cuz, you know, I didn't have a door for so long.... He called me 'sweetheart'. But it's just an expression, isn't it. Like when a waitress calls you 'Honey', it doesn't mean you're special or anything, it's just a word, right?... 'Sweetheart'...."
C: "Is this about Angel? (Fred nods) He talked to you, didn't he. (sigh) This is all my fault, I told him to do that."
F: "You told him to make out with that woman on the desk??"

ClubGuy: "What are you *on*?"
Ma: "Well, I'd say I'm high on life, only I ain't alive. Which means I'm never gonna die. I'm gonna be young, handsome, and strong forever."

W: "I don't believe it. On my desk?"
G: "Well, it did used to be his. He was just kinda... reclaiming it."
W: "How? By marking it? This isn't like him."
C: "What? This is _totally_ like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde...."
F: "Brunette. She was a cheap brunette."
C: "You're right, this isn't like him."

OldGuy: "Your kid was signing in at reception when I came down."
Am: "My _kid_?"
Ma: "Hi, Dad!

Am: "I don't think you know what you're getting into."
Ma: "Oh, I know what I'm getting into. You're the one who doesn't seem to know what you had! As far as I can tell, you were the world's worst vampire. Vampires don't help people, you moron! They kill them. Here, let me show you."
Am: "You may have the attitude, and you may have the power, but there's one thing you don't have... and never will. Friends. four of 'em, standing behind you with big heavy things."

C: "You're Angel? With that cologne? I don't think so."

C: "God, I love technology. Are you all right?"
Am: "I gotta pee."

W: (to Fred) "Keep an eye on him."
(Fred whacks Marcus-in-Angel another time in the head for good measure)
Am: "Fred! He's out! He's out!"

A: "I'll tell you why you have a weak heart, Marcus. You never use it."
M: "You're pathetic! You're all path...*unnngh!*"
A: "You should try to keep a lid on that rage, Marcus. It's not healthy."
M: "Unnnngh... helllp...."
Ryan: "What's goin' on?"
A: "Dad's havin' a bad night."

A: "Fred, I've been meaning to talk to you for some time."
F: "Ummm...(laughs)...o.k.?"
A: "...."
F: "This is about how you're not like other men, what with that curse and all. And how you're really fond of me, but that's as far as it goes?"
A: "Um... yeah."
F: "Cordelia explained it to me. She said you'd probably just screw it up."
A: "Oh, she did, did she? Well, she's probably right."

F: "It's like something out of Fitzgerald: 'The Man Who Can Have Everything But Love'. Well, maybe in some ways you're better off... because love is... Well, in a way it's everything. But it's also heartache and disappointment... and those are good things to avoid."
C: "Angel! Willow's on the phone. She's alive! Buffy's alive!"
(Angel heads inside)
F: "'Buffy'?"