W: Hey, maybe we shouldn't be too couple-y around Buffy.
C: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
X: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what?
O: All right, prepare to uncouple... uncouple.

X: Buffy, banned from campus, but not from our hearts. How are you and what's for lunch?
B: Oh, I just threw a few things together.
C: When did you become Martha Stewart?
B: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.
X: I don't believe she slays, either.
O: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to.

W: Ooh, Scott Hope at eleven o'clock. He likes you. He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren't ready then. But I think you're ready now. Or at least in the state of pre-readiness to make conversation. Or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like. Oh, I didn't mean the bad thing with your mouth! I meant that little half-smile thing that you... You're supposed to stop me when I do that.
O: I like when you do that.

Sc: Hi, Buffy.
B: Hi.
W: I think that went very well! Don't you think that went very well?
C: He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. That's progress.

B: Look, I'm not trying to snare Scott Hope. I just want to get my life back, you know, do normal stuff.
W: Like date?
B: Well...
X: Oh, you want to date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut. < laughs > Buffy punches him Ow.
B: All right, yes, date, and shop, and hang out, and go to school, and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I want to do girlie stuff!

T: Sunnydale. Town's got quaint. And the people? He called me sir. Don't you just miss that? I mean, admittedly, it's not a haven for the brothers, you know, strictly the Caucasian persuasion here in the Dale. But, you know, you just gotta stand up and salute their death rate. I ran a statistical analysis, and, hello darkness! It makes D.C. look like Mayberry, and ain't nobody saying boo about it.

K: The Slayer. I'm going to rip her spine from her body. Then I'm going to eat her heart and suck the marrow from her bones.
T: Now I'm hungry.

B: I had to.
A: I loved you.
B: Oh, God, Angel...
A: Go to hell! I did.

J: Morning, Sunshine. Ready to face the Beast?

PS: Here are the terms of your re-entry, Missy, take 'em or leave 'em. One: That you pass a make-up test of every class you skipped out on last year. Two: That you provide, in writing, one glowing letter of recommendation from any member of our faculty who is not an English librarian. Three: That you complete an interview with our school psychologist, who must conclude that your violent tendencies... are under control.

B: So let me get this straight: I'm really back in school because the school board overruled you. Wow. That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it.
J: I think what my daughter's trying to say is... nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!

W: I think it's great that you're a schoolgirl again.

W: Have you ever noticed, though, when he is mad, but he's too English to say anything, he makes that weird cluck-cluck sound with his tongue?
B: Hi, Giles.
W: Oh, hi. Been there long?

G: Oh, uh... well, I, um... Well, of course it's wonderful to have you back. That goes without saying. But, you enjoy making me say it, don't you?

B: Acathla, huh? What are you doing, making him some demon pizza?

W: Oh, a spell? Can I help?
G: Possibly, with the research. It's very sensitive and...
W: Oh! Who's more sensitive than me?
G: ...and difficult spell.

G: And Angel?
B: Big fight. Angel got the pointy end of the sword, Acathla sucked him into hell instead of the world. That's about the it.

B: Oh, no, I have to go take an English makeup exam. They give you credit just for speaking it, right? Ohhh!

W: Sage, I love that smell! And marnox root. You know, just a smidge of this mixed with a virgin's saliva... does something I know nothing about.
G: These forces are not something that one plays around with, Willow. What have you been conjuring?
W: Nothing! Much... Well, you know I tried this spell to cure Angel, and I guess that was a bust. But since then, you know, small stuff - floating feather, fire out of ice, which next time I won't do on the bedspread. Are you mad at me?
G: No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue.

W: Are you... is she glow-y?
O: Yeah, I suspect happiness.
B: I passed my English makeup exam, hangin' with my friends. Hello, my life, how I missed you.

W: Hi, Scott. What are you doing here?
Sc: You told me if I came after eight, I could run into Buffy. Uh, I'm sorry, I'm a bad liar. It's not good for the soul, or the skin, actually, it makes me blotch.

Sc: If you change your mind, you can mosey on over, and then if not, then you don't mosey.

W: Come on, Buffy. I mean, the guy is charm, and, and normal, which is what you wanted to get back to.
O: Plus bonus points for the use of the word "mosey".

C: Check out slu-o-rama and her disco dave. What was the last thing that guy danced to, K.C. and the Sunshine Band?
B: I don't think that guy thrives on sunshine.

C: I bet it's nothing. They're probably just making out
F: Hey! < thud! >
W: That's not what making out sounds like. Unless I'm doing it wrong.

O: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer in town.

F: So it's like 118 degrees, and I'm sleeping without a stitch on. And all of a sudden I hear this screaming from outside. So I go tearing out, stark nude, and this church bus has broken down and there's these three vamps feasting on half the Baptists in South Boston. So I waste the vamps, and the preacher comes up, and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow, when all of a sudden the cops pull up, and they arrested us both.
X: Wow! They should film that story and show it every Christmas.

F: Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?
B: Well... sometimes I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.
C: I get it! Not the horny thing, yuch!

X: And so was this, um, also naked?
F: Well, the alligator was.
C: Xander, find a new theme.

O: Something occurring... Now, you both kill vamps, and who could blame you. But I'm wondering about your position on werewolves.
W: Oz is a werewolf.
B: It's a long story.
O: I got bit.
B: Apparently not that long.
F: Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at me or humpin' my leg, we're 5 by 5, you know.

G: It's a great honor to be invited. Or so I'm told.
F: Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you.
B: Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles.
F: I've seen him. If I'd known they came that young and cute, I would have requested a transfer.
B: Raise your hand if "eww".
G: Well, um, leaving aside for a moment my, uh, youth and beauty...

W: Aha! Sorry, I just meant, Aha! There's big evil brewin'. You'll never be bored here, Faith, 'cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewin' evil.

B: Acathla, Angel, me, sword.
G: That's what I thought, but...
B: Giles, look, I've got makeup tests to pass, missing people in Sunset Ridge, and a zesty new Slayer to feed. Next time I kill Angel, I'll video it.

W: And over here we have the cafeteria, where we were mauled by snakes.

X: And they say young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but I've learned to be afraid.

F: You guys are a hoot and a half. I mean, if I'd had friends like you in high school, I... probably still would've dropped out, but I might have been sad about it, you know?

C: What is it with you and Slayers? Maybe I should dress up as one and put a stake to your throat.
X: Please, God, don't let that be sarcasm.

C: Does anyone believe that is her actual hair color?

W: Hey, maybe Faith and Scott could hit it off. I mean, if you're done with him. Not that you used him!
B: Well, I hadn't definitely 100% said no for all time, it's just, you know, you don't enter into these things lightly. You know, there's repercussions to consider, and... why am I seeing a look?
W: You really do need to find the fun, B. ...uffy.

T: All I'm saying is, we stay local - where the humans are jumpin' and the cotton is high - but we live global.

J: So you're a Slayer too. Isn't that interesting.

F: Well, when I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away and I only know one thing - that I'm gonna win and they're gonna lose. I like that feeling.
B: Well sure, it beats that dead feeling you get when they win and you lose.

B: She gets along with my friends, my Watcher, my Mom. Look, now she's getting along with my fries.

J: Does anyone else think Faith is creepy?
B: No, but I'm the one getting single-white-femaled here.

J: When did you die? You never told me you died.
B: It was just for a few minutes.
J: Oh, I hate this. I hate your life.

J: I have tried to march in the "Slayer Pride" parade, but... I don't want you to die.

B: I've got help now. I've got all the help I can stand.

F: Didn't we do this street already?
B: Funny thing about vamps, they'll hit a street even after you've been there. It's like they have no manners.

B: You got a problem?
F: I'm 5 by 5, B. Living entirely large, actually wondering about *your* problem.

F: What are you getting so strung out for, B?
B: Why are your lips still moving, F?

F: My dead mother hits harder than that!

B: Faith, stake him already and give me a hand!

F: Gee, if doing violence to vampires upsets you, I think you're in the wrong line of work.

G: What you must realize, Buffy, is that you and Faith have very different temperaments.
B: Yeah, and mine's the sane one. The girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. she has almost no deck. She has a three.

G: They're probably sitting down to a nightcap. I wonder if they still kayak. I used to love a good kayak.

B: Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in - coincidences and leprechauns.

Sc: Think of this as my last-ditch effort. I realize that one more is going to qualify as stalking.

Sc: It begins with conversation. We all know this. Maybe over a cup of coffee, or maybe at the Buster Keaton festival playing on State Street all this weekend.
B: You know, come to think of it, I don't think I've given a fair chance to... Buster Keaton. I... I like what I've seen of him so far. I think it might be time to see a little more.
Sc: Keaton is key.

B: What was that you said about my problem, gotta deal and move on? Well, we have the "moving on" part right here. What about dealing?

B: You run, he runs after you.
F: That's where the head-start comes in handy.

B: Scream later. Escape now.

T: If we don't do something, the Master could get killed. Well, our prayers are with him.
(CC'SC: If we don't do something, she just might kill him. I don't think I have a problem with that.)

T: There's a reason these vengeance crusades are out of style. The modern vampire sees the big picture.
(CC'SC: Incense, candle burning, missing the Bulls game 'cause he's too cheap to pop for cable. Who's had enough here?)

B: But I liked what you said about friendship. I liked it a lot. And Buster Keaton - big fun. And I'm capable of big fun even though there's no earthly way you could possibly know that about me. Wow, if I knew I was gonna go on this long, I probably would have brought some water.

Sc: Uh, I don't know, Buffy, I'm really going to have to think about this. Okay, you know what, I've thought about it and I'm in, when do you want to go?

Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers