BtVS Quotes
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(B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, C=Cordelia, O=Oz, A=Angel, J=Joyce, PS=Principal Snyder, T=Mr. Trick, L=Lenny the Vamp, M=Mayor, S=Spike )
X: Willow is very sad by her academic failure. How did you do? ...This is not good.
O: I can see why you'd be upset. That was my sarcastic voice.
W: Buffy! Hey, did you get your S.A.T. scores?
W: 1430! Buffy, you kicked ass! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited.
X: Why the sourpuss?
S: Home... sweet... home. //THUD//
S: And more, much more than this, I did it my way. Drusilla, I'm home!
S: You stupid... worthless... bitch! Look what you've done to me.
X: Come on. It'll be fun.
X: There's pictures. Of me. In your locker. I never knew I was locker door material.
W: I'm on Oz's team
W: What's this?
W: This is... just so thoughtful.
G: Buffy, this is remarkable.
G: Here. I suspect your mother will want to put it on the refrigerator.
B: She started with all this crazy talk about me going to college. Maybe someplace else. I know, I know, I said that you were going to have a goat.
B: Okay, be kind, rewind.
G: And please don't do anything rash.
W: It's a mistake. It's a terrible, fatal mistake. I see that now.
W: It's a very intimate situation. It's all sexy, with the smoke and the sweating, and the shoe rental...
X: Look, we're just very good friends who like to hang out, and can I kiss your earlobe?
B: All day it's been, like, "Congratulations! Go away."
J: It's just you belong at a good old-fashioned college, with keg parties, and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires.
J: I spoke with Mr. Giles and he said...
S: Yeah, you. You think I'm afraid of you?
S: I need a curse.
W: But this is more of an anti-love spell. Yeah, kind of a de-lusting. The supplies are basically the same, right?
M: I swear, I would sell my soul for a decent short game. Of course, it's a little late for that. I don't suppose I could offer your soul, huh? Really help me on the green. //pause// I'm just funning.
M: He was up to all sorts of shenanigans last year. We had a world of fun trying to guess what he'd do next.
M: Loose cannon. Rock the boat. Is that a mixed metaphor? Boats did have cannons. And a loose one would cause it to rock.
A: She doesn't know about me.
A: She wants you to get out.
X: Whoa! It smells like church in here. No, wait... evil church.
X: Is that a spell book?
X: I wish for a lot of things! I told you I wished I was a fireman when we were in sixth grade, but you didn't follow through on that.
W: This whole "us" thing is... bleach!
S: She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head, or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared? It was the truce with Buffy the did it. Dru said I'd gone soft -- demon enough for the likes of her.
S: I gave her everything - beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses, with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would flirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, "I'm not putting up with this any more." And she said, "Fine!" And I said, "Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!" And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!
S: That smell, your neck. I haven't had a woman in weeks.
W: Now, I'm not a real witch, you know. I don't know if this is going to work right away.
B: What is all this stuff? I'm thinking weird science.
B: Either they were taken, or they ran, or maybe...
J: Well, she sounds very unreasonable.
S: No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally. You got any of those little marshmallows?
J: Get out of here.
J: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.
J: Okay, I'm confused again.
S: Willow!
S: And when did you become all soul-having again? I thought you outgrew that.
S: Well, you and your great poof here want to tag along, that's fine.
C: What if they were kidnapped by Columbian drug lords? They
O: //sniffs// It's Willow. She's nearby.
S: Oh, god.
B: He's probably just got them locked up in the factory.
S: Oh, god.
B: Spike can get the rats eyes.
S: I'm nothing without her.
S: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death. Now you're back making googly-eyes at each other again like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
S: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
W: You were real brave. Do you need to barf?
X: So, we're pretty much in a "scream all you want" scenario?
W: Drusilla broke up with him.
W: He's out of control. I mean, not that he was Joe Restraint in the old days.
X: So, what are our options?
X: If he's so drunk, he'll get sloppy, and then I'll make my move. As long as my move doesn't involve standing up or using my limbs, we'll be okay.
W: We're not supposed to.
S: What's your hurry?
S: This should be a kick.
L: Yeah, I'd heard you'd gone soft. Sad to see it, man.
S: Now, that was fun. Oh, don't tell me that wasn't fun. God! It's been so long since I had a decent spot of violence. Really puts things in perspective.
S: Oh, sod the spell. Your friends are at the factory. I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this - weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just got to be the man I was. The man she loved. I'm going to do what I should have done in the first place. I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. Love's a funny thing.
W: I never knew there was anything inside me that could feel this bad.
B: We're not friends. We never were. And I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or Spike, for some reason. What I want from you I can never have.
A: There's got to be some way we can still see each other.
S: And more, much more than this, I did it my way!!
Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers
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