Jaye: Don't you have a job in New Jersey?
Eric: I'm pretty sure they're gonna fire me when I don't show up.
Jaye: That's awesome.

Girl: You're not allowed to steal.
Jaye: You're not allowed to speak to strangers. Piss off!

Mahandra: Crazy insane, or crazy like the time I set up a video camera in my house and pretended I was on Big Brother?

Wax Lion: "See a penny, pick it up."

Eric: Why do they always sacrifice the pretty ones?
Jaye: I guess killing pretty people is easier than killing ugly people. Although, you'd think the opposite would be true.

Mahandra: (to Jaye) Disappointing your family is an extreme sport for you.

Jaye: (Regarding her family) Well just look at them. They all work really hard everyday and they're dissatisfied. I mean, I can be dissatisfied without hardly working at all.

Jaye: (regarding her teenage co-worker) The mouthbreather is now my boss.

Wax Lion: Make me a match.

Darrin Tyler (to Jaye): Honey, when was the last time you had an orgasm?