Coming Back

by GayNow

Copyright © 2005

Rating: NC-17
Uber Setting: Contemporary
Disclaimer: BtVS characters, concepts and dialog belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, The WB, UPN and others. The story, however, came out of my delusional little brain.
Distribution: The Mystic Muse /mysticmuse.net
If you want to archive this, please let me know first.
Feedback: Pretty please?
Spoilers: None.
Author's Note: I have to give special, super-dee-duper thanks to the lovely WATSON for so many things – for putting up with me…for painstakingly reading chapters and sections and paragraphs and sentences…for dealing with me obsessing over j-u-u-u-u-u-u-st the right word…for serving as co-writer in many many many instances (if it's a REALLY good sentence or phrase…it's probably hers)…for simply being a friend and encouraging me (Okay…encouraging? She was kicking me in the ass is what she was doing!)
Thoughts in italics
Webhost's Note: Special thanks goes to Chris Cook of Through the Looking Glass, MKF and Artemis for the graphics, wallpapers and source coding. Thanks, Chris!
This story uses two fonts to represent Willow and Tara's handwriting in sections. These fonts are available for download here: CatholicSchoolGirls BB and Hybi 4. If these fonts are not installed on your PC, sections of this story will be rendered in large text. Fonts sourced from dafont.com.
Pairing: Willow/Tara

A beautiful day. The most beautiful day. Look around, take it in...take it all in. Revel in it. The fountain, so real. Can it come to life? The water bubbles and gurgles, flowing smoothly over polished stone. Laughing? Full of mirth. Is it the fountain? Can the girl on the swing not contain her joy? No. Somewhere else. It's all around...not in one place. Moves around, moves through. It's visceral. Makes the body quiver. So good. But where? Wildflowers. Oh, they're everywhere. Look at the colors. Orange. So clear. Yellow. So bright. Pink. So radiant. Their scent carried on the breeze. Fresh. Breathe it in. So fragrant. Laughter again. Full. Rich. Where? The air is crisp and clean. It moves gently, makes long tresses flow over nearly bare shoulders. Turn to the breeze, feel the air, breathe in the smells. Face to the sun. Warm. Enveloping. Eyes closed. Yes, closed. Basking in the beauty. Laughter. Welcoming. Comforting. Where? Smiling. Ah, so good to smile. And mean it. Glance around, take it in...take it all in. Revel in it. There. Tall. Stately. Solid. The oak. Let the memories come. Remember. Relive. Laughter. Feel it? Yes. So good. Where? A flash of color. Red. Deep. Vibrant. Look for it. Find it. There. You're here. Movement. The swing. Swooshing sounds. Mingling with the breeze. Mixing with the laughter. Blending with the fragrance. All senses heightened, attending to all stimuli. Taking it in...taking it all in. Reveling in it. Under the tree. Stretching out. Languid. Lazy. Look down and see crimson. Look down and see green. Laughter. Feel the tingle. Relish the reverberation. Slender fingers sifting through red locks. Slow. Feeling the silkiness. Scent of strawberries. Clear azure meeting twinkling emerald. I know you. Falling. Falling. Lost. Surrounded, wrapped by a field of green. Taking it in...taking it all in. Reveling in it. Pearl white sparkles through soft pink. Display of happiness. Content. Complete. Moving up, green coming closer. Warm breath. Silky lips on velvet cheek. My Tara. Brief, only a moment. Enough for a lifetime. Stillness. Frozen in time. Smile. Twinkle. Sparkle. Strawberries. Laughter gone. Silence. I need time. Turning away. Incomprehensible murmur. Reaching out. reaching away. Cold. Changing. Breeze turns to wind Changing. Fountain joy, gone changing Water bubbles and churns. changing. Lifts into the air. misty Clouds covering the source. fading light turning back Nosmile. Notwinkle. Nosparkle. Nostrawberries laughter gone. Wildflowers rippedattheroot. dead blown away. Sobbing gasps followed by salty streams. Weeping. flooded green no sparkle. take it in take it all in drown in it. pain so clear. it hurts. I'M SORRY! keening wailing Why are you doing this to me? Somuch pain. Hurtful mistnomore. downpour drenching saturating Pain. Force of windWhipping twisting PLEASE! Limbs creak branches crack Pick up the pieces. Fallingfalling beside me. Broken ground quakes fearthereverberation can't hear. deafeningwind. It would kill me. can't see. blindingrain. I would deserve it. nolight changing takeitintakeitallin suffocateinit reachingout She’s hurting. reachingforred wantingtocomfort wantingcomfort You're so selfish. pushedawayretreating I left. leaveschanging notleavesFORGIVE ME!inthecore surrounded wrappedbyatunnelofgrief painithurts pummelingbeatingbruising Pain peeringthrough seeing^redseeing_greenseeinganger feelit Beat yourself up. feelhatredfeelregret takeitintakeitallin bleedfromit cacophonyofpain Loathing kaleidescopeofanger SeethingDON'T HATE ME!smilingnosneering greensflashes firebehindgreenblazingburningfeelit feelthedisgustWHAT MORE CAN I SAY?voices hearthem belittlingvengeful strikingagainstflesh leavingmarksnotonskin painofthebody Anger painoftheheart Hate painofthesoul Regret takeitintakeitallin beburiedinitWHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? pleading begging You’re being uncaring. getting closer closingin trapped noroomtomove wrappedup Give it up. damning defeated NO! You screwed it up. I WON’T GIVE UP! can’tbreathe airallaround noneforbreath Anger whirlingwhippingrelentless laughter takeitintakeitallinwallowinit You promised! notlaughingwith sneeringscowling Cruel beatingbrusing Stop being a bitch! hurtfulmalicious You don’t love her. I DO! insistent begging needingtotell I LOVE YOU, WILLOW! _sneering^scowling laughter Evil fierceemeraldmeetingfrightenedazure takeitintakeitallin be stabbedbyit Fuck you, Tara! turningaway movingon leavingbehind Broken NO! WILLOW!

Continued...

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