Evil Boss by shithappens

1. Chapter 1 by shithappens

2. Chapter 2 by shithappens

3. Chapter 3 by shithappens

4. Chapter 4 by shithappens

5. Chapter 5 by shithappens

6. Chapter 6 by shithappens

7. Chapter 7 by shithappens

8. Chapter 8 by shithappens

Chapter 1 by shithappens
Author's Notes:
Okay, this is going to be an angsty fic. Spike, Buffy and Xander are the main characters. Xander seems to be rather not a nice guy in this one, so keep that in mind.
Chapter 1:

Buffy Summers-Pratt was having a quiet night in. Her husband was out of town on a ‘business meeting.’ Buffy was getting some well deserved R and R. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. She frowned, looking at her watch. It was 10.15.

Whom could that be?

She tiptoed to the door, then looked through the peephole. The boyishly handsome face of Xander Harris peered back at her. Her husband’s friend and boss and all around good guy. In fact, over the last couple of years, he and Buffy had become fast friends as well.

She unlatched the door to find him looking a bit haggard. His usually well combed hair was unruly and he his shirt and tie were undone.
“Hey Buff,” he said, waving a folder at her. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” she said, stepping aside.
“Are you okay?”

“We need to talk,” Xander said, walking into her living room.
“About what? Buffy said, her eyes knitted with a frown. She did not like the grim sound of his voice.
“Spike,” Xander said, looking down at the floor.

William?

“Spike isn’t…” Buffy began, but Xander cut her off.
“Here…I know. That’s why I’m here.”

She folded her arms over her chest.
“What is this about?” she asked, her voice anxious.
Xander swallowed, then gave the file to her.
She opened it, leafing through the pages.
“I don’t…….”

“Spike’s been stealing,” Xander said simply, sitting down on the couch.
“From the firm.”

Buffy’s felt her heart drop.

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “No.”
“He wouldn’t,” Buffy said frantically. “He couldn’t.”

“Has Spike been…..acting any differently?” Xander asked softly.
Buffy’s eyes widened. Spike had been awfully quiet lately. As if something was bothering him. She’d tried to talk to him about it, but he just waved her away.

“Why would he do this?” Xander asked his eyes filled with pain. “I mean, he made two-hundred thousand dollars last year. Why would he do this?”
Buffy felt her heart rip.

Oh no. Oh please no.

Her mother’s gallery had suffered heavy losses over the last year. Buffy had taken over after her mother’s death. The first year had been an unmitigated disaster. Buffy had even considered selling it off, but Spike had talked her out of it.

“We’ll manage,” he had sworn.
“But the money,” Buffy protested.
“I can get money,” Spike had chuckled which had caused her to roll her eyes.
“How?”
“I steal from the rich and I….”
“Give to the poor?”
“Sod the poor,” he growled, winking at her, which made her laugh.
“I keep it all.”

At the time, she’d thought nothing of it. But now…..

“Buffy,” Xander said. “I have to let Spike go. I just have to.….”
She nodded her head, numb with grief and anger.
“You should call a lawyer,” Xander said sympathetically, breaking through her fog.
“What?……” Buffy said, still unable to comprehend his words.
“The cops Buffy,” Xander said, as if he were dealing with a small child.
“They’re going to want to investigate.”

“You’d…..you’d do that?” Buffy whispered.
“You’d do that to us? To your friends?”
“What choice do I have?” Xander said, unable to meet her eyes.

“Don’t,” Buffy said, sitting down next to him, touching him on the arm.
“Please. I’m begging you. We’ll be ruined.”
“Buffy,” Xander protested.
“Please Xan,” she begged in desperation. “Please.”

He loosened his tie, tossing it aside. “I guess I could leave the cops out of this,” he said, finally.

Buffy felt relief flood through her.
“I could convince the senior partners not to press charges. Let Spike resign quietly and pay back the money.”

“Xander….” she said effusively, “I don’t know how to…..”
“But I need a reason,” he said, looking up at her, his voice low and and his eyes strangely intense.

“You need to give me a reason not to.”

Buffy withdrew her hand, as if she had felt a shock. Her heart began to race.

What does he mean….

“Xander?” she asked, her eyes questioning him.
“I need a reason Buff,” Xander said, his eyes flickering to her lips.
“A reason not to.”

“I don’t under…..”
“Yes you do,” Xander cut her off, touching her on the leg, his hand gently squeezing her thigh, making her suck in breath.

She looked at his hand, her eyes as wide as saucers.

“You want your husband not to rot in jail for the next ten years,” Xander said, his voice soft.
“And I…..want you.”

“You want me?” Buffy echoed, her head dizzy and her mouth incredibly dry.

“You know I do,” Xander said, his voice heating up, his hand squeezing her leg.
“I’ve wanted you since the day we met.”

“I….I…….” Buffy stuttered, moving away.
“Don’t deny it,” Xander said harshly.
“We both know it’s true.”

That forced her to think about it. How she’d tumbled into his arms the first time he’d arrived at the gallery.
“Can I have you?” he’d asked.
She’d laughed and held up her ring.
“Married. Sorry.”

She’d seen the flicker of disappointment in his eyes, but to his credit he’d recovered well enough. They’d had a good laugh after they’d discovered he was her husband’s boss. They’d become close friends as well, laughed
and flirted and hung out. More than once she’d noticed him notice her, but had dismissed it with a knowing smile. Looking back, Buffy realized that she always knew that he wanted her. She’d just never given it any real thought.

“I can’t,” she whispered, her eyes pleading with him.
“We can’t. I love my husband. I can’t betray him.”
“Love me tonight,” Xander said, taking her hand.
“And you’ll still have a husband to love tomorrow.”

Buffy slapped him. Hard. She gasped at the pain she felt in her hand and at what she’d done. She almost apologized to him before she remembered what he was asking of her.

“Get out,” she said, the thought now making her shiver with rage. The nerve of him. Coming here and expecting her to….
“No,” he said simply.
“No?” Buffy said, her eyes flashing with rage.
“Are you going to rape me or something?”
“Never,” he said, genuinely shocked. At least he pretended to be.
“I’d never hurt you.”

“Leave,” she insisted.
“Please.”

“I wanna make love to you,” Xander said.
“With you.”
Buffy felt her knees shake.
Make love? To me? With me?

“Not a chance,” Buffy said, outraged.
“Spike stole two million dollars,” Xander said.
“That’s ten years. Without parole.”
That deflated her. Ten years? Ten fucking years? She couldn’t bear the thought of him being away for ten days, let alone ten years.
Her eyes filled with tears.

Spike….you stupid, proud ass.

And then he’d be out, a voice whispered. Without a license. Without being able to do the only thing he’d ever loved. And then what? And then what’s left?

She looked at Xander then. He was looking up at her with his soft brown eyes.

Would it be so bad?

The fact that she’d even considered it shocked her to her very core. She’d never have thought herself capable of even considering it. But then, she’d never have thought Spike capable of stealing. And she was desperate.

No. No. I can’t. We can fight this. We can fight this…

“Be with me,” Xander said, extending his hand.
“Be with me tonight and this all goes away. I promise.”

Buffy looked at his hand. Her heart wasn’t racing anymore, it was about to burst from her chest.

No. No. No. You don’t have to.

“Spike doesn’t have to go to jail,” Xander said, his voice soft and soothing.
“I can help you. If you’d only let me.”

Buffy looked at him, for the longest time.
“If….if we do this,” she stammered, unable to believe her own ears.
What am I saying?

“Buffy,” he whispered, his eyes lighting up with joy. He came forward,attempting to take her into his arms. Her hand shot out, restraining him.

“IF….we….do….this……” she said, making it amply clear that this was far from a done deal.
“Everything goes away,” Xander said.
“I promise.”
“Which means?” she said, pulling away. She needed some distance between them.

Xander sighed. “I let Spike resign. Quietly. Spike finds a new job. He pays us back. With interest. Thirteen percent. No cops.”

“And I’m supposed to what….just trust you on that?” she said, scowling.
“Being the boss has its perks,” he shrugged, almost shyly.

“So you could help us?” Buffy asked, her eyes wide.
“Without…..”
She couldn’t even bring herself to say it.
Us sleeping together.

“My ass would be on the line,” Xander said, trying to make her understand the gravity of it all. “My reputation at the firm. My career, if I’m ever found out. I could lose everything if I’m caught covering this up. God knows the senior partners wouldn’t lift a finger. I might even
end up sharing a cell with your husband.”

She stared at him, unable to comprehend him.
“Then why would….?”
“For you,” he said simply.
For me?

“I’m not worth….” she said frantically.
“You are,” Xander said, “you are to me.”

Suddenly she had a thought. If Xander was so infatuated with her, then chances are he was lying to get her into bed. This whole thing could be a con.

“I need to talk to Spike,” she said, thinking quickly as righteous anger rose within her.
His face fell. “You think I’m making this up?”
“No,” she blurted out, eager not to offend him. On the off chance that what he was saying was true, she’d need him.
“I just….need to…..hear him say it.”

He folded his arms, his eyes darkened. Buffy felt hope flare in her heart.

“Just once,” she said. Xander picked up the phone,
dialled Spike’s number.
“Go ahead,” he said. The flare died. Instantly.
“You didn’t hear this from me,” Xander said, sitting down on the sofa, rubbing his hands through his hair.

Buffy held the phone to her ear, letting it ring.
“Hello love,” she heard a voice say suddenly. “Miss me?”
“Will,” she said, her voice shaking.
“What is it?” he said, his voice filling with concern.
“Is it true?”
“Is what true love?”

She could barely bring herself to ask.
“Two million dollars,” she said.
Silence. She could hear him suck in a breath.
“Who told you?” he said, after a long pause. He voice sounded miserable.
“Anya,” she replied, looking at Xander, her voice quaking.
“Yeah,” he said finally. “It’s true.”
The pain in his voice was an arrow through her heart.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Buffy whispered.
“Baby, I wanted to,” Spike said, his voice breaking. “But…”
Buffy didn’t want to hear anymore. She threw the phone into the wall, shattering it.

“I’m sorry,” Xander said tenderly.
“No you’re not,” Buffy snapped.
“You’re not sorry at all.”

“I am,” Xander insisted. “I’m sorry for you.”
“Me?” Buffy said.


“You don’t deserve Spike,” he said, shaking his head.
“You deserve….”
“You?” Buffy mocked, “Prince fuck me or I’ll send your husband to jail charming.”

For the first time this evening, Xander’s face hardened.
“It’s your choice,” he said casually. “One night with me, or ten years alone. Fifteen if the prosecutor wants to make a point.”
She looked at him with disdain she had to work hard to disguise.

Her eyes flashed, then faded.
God help me.

“Okay,” she said softly.
“Is that a yes?” Xander asked, unable to believe his ears.
Buffy felt the air go out of her. She was too tired to argue anymore. She just wanted it over with. So she could forget.

“Yes,” she said, to the empty room. Xander stood, then closed the distance between them, intending to take her into his arms.
“Wait,” she said. He looked at her expectantly.
“Promise me,” she said, biting her lip. “Promise you’ll…..help. After…..tonight.”
She knew how damn naive she sounded. He was trying to get her into her pants. Of course he’d say yes. He’d promise her the sun, the moon, the earth and all the stars in the universe. And then….

“I promise,” Xander said as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Buffy looked into his eyes, trying to determine if he was lying. They were earnest brown and shining with something she couldn’t
quite comprehend. It distressed her. She could understand lust. Disgusting as his actions were, she could understand lust. But lo….

No. No. He doesn’t love me. If he really loved me he’d never do this.

“Rules,” she said suddenly, as if she remembered. He raised a brow.
“We need….to….set…. ground rules,” she faltered.
“Just one rule,” Xander declared, in a tone that brooked no argument.
“Tonight I get to have you. All of you.”

As if to make his point, his hand slid down from her waist to cup her bottom, squeezing it possessively. Buffy gasped at how casually forward he seemed. But he wasn’t done talking.

“Everything I want,” he said. “Everywhere I want. And as many times as I want.”
He squeezed her ass again and again and again, as he made his demands, making her nostrils flare.
Mine, his eyes seemed to say.
Tonight, you’re all mine.

That wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. She was hoping for a quickie in the dark after which he’d get the hell out. She thought to protest, but he cut her off.

“And tomorrow, you get everything you want,” he whispered. And then they just stared at each other, knowing that this was it. The point of no return.

Yes or No?


Buffy put her hands on his hands, which were firmly on her ass. She enjoyed the bitter disappointment that flashed in his eyes when she pushed them off her.

How do you like them apples?
“Okay,” Xander said dangerously, turning to go. “Jail it is.” “Wait,” Buffy said, after he’d taken two steps away, her voice faltering. Xander looked back to see a pained, angry look cross Buffy’s face. And then she was stepping back into the shadows. Xander waited two beats then followed. He saw her standing by the bedroom door, facing him, her face obscured by darkness. She looked his way for a long time before she stepped inside. Leaving the door open. Xander’s lips curved upwards as he stepped forward, running his hand across the face of the door, then closed it behind them.
Chapter End Notes:
So, tell me what you guys think? Just don't get too personal. LOL.
Chapter 2 by shithappens
Author's Notes:
Okay, so chapter two.
Buffy felt like she’d spent just moments in the bathroom. Once inside, Xander had taken complete charge. He had insisted she get ‘dolled up’ for him. He’d even picked out something for her to wear.

I look like a stepford slut, she thought, staring at herself in the mirror. What am I doing?

A knock on the door, told her it she was out of time.
“Just a minute,” she said loudly, trying not to betray her anxiety. She looked at herself in the mirror, took a deep breath and opened the door.

Xander was sitting on the bed, waiting for her.
When she stepped into view, Xander felt his heart stop.
As he’d requested (but really ordered), she’d slipped into a little black number that showed a lot of her golden tanned legs and more than a hint of cleavage. Her hair was shiny and coiffed and her face was shiny and perfectly done
up. She was, by far, the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

“Come here,” he said, his voice just a caress on her shoulder. It made her shiver. With hate. She knew that despite the softness of her voice, it was an order.
Xander switched on the bedside light, bathing them in a soft golden glow. He patted the place where he wanted her to sit, right by his side.

She took her spot, trying not to look at him as he quickly tossed off his shirt.

Immediately, she did a double take. He was absolutely ripped. His arms were muscular and lean and his stomach was layered with abs. Whoa. Who knew that underneath those layers of clothes, hid a fantastic bod. Her breath quickened. Despite her disgust with this situation, she
couldn’t help but feel a little turned on by his sculpted physique.

“Been working out,” he said, smiling at her, noticing that she had checked him out.
“Can we not talk?” she said, glaring at him.
Xander simply lay back against the headboard.
“Come here,” he said, extending his hand.
Buffy considered her options. Her very bad options.
Face to face?
No. I don’t wanna look at him.
Back to face?
No. A world of No.
So what then?
Sideways it is.

Buffy bit her shiny looking lip, then crawled over to him and positioned herself across his lap.

“So beautiful,” Xander whispered in awe, surveying her.
He let his hand run up her long smooth legs, caressing and stroking, as his lips found her neck. Buffy closed her eyes, determined to block out as much of this experience as she could. His tongue lapped the salt of her neck, sending a shiver through her as his hand massaged and manipulated the tanned golden flesh of her legs.

No. No. Oh god No. This is wrong. I can’t be turned on.

“Stop that,” she protested, her voice sounding harsher to herself than to him. Her hand found his, stilling his manipulations.
“We had a deal,” Xander said, his voice still gentle. “Remember?”

Spike. Jail. Bastard.

Her hand loosened instantly. Xander picked her up quickly, then turned them around and took them to the middle of the bed, laying her down.

“God you’re beautiful,” he whispered, touching her cheek.
“Don’t,” she said, closing her eyes and looking away.
“Just…..don’t.”

Xander cupped her chin to make her look at him.
She bit her lip when he brought his face down to meet hers. When their noses touched she closed her eyes. She could sense him hovering over her, feel his breath on her face. And suddenly he was gone.

Buffy opened her eyes, to see him putting his shirt back on. She blinked a few times, not understand what the hell was going on.

“What?????” she said, her voice barely a croak. So she tried again.
“What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving,” Xander said, his voice flat. “Forget it. Just….forget it.”

“Forget what?” Buffy said.
“Our…..arrangement.”

“But…..”
“This isn’t what I want,” Xander said. “Not like this.”
Buffy would have screamed at him if she could summon the energy.
“This….isn’t…..what……you…….want?”

“I want Buffy,” Xander said.
“The one full of life and laughter and love. Not an unwilling corpse.”
“Then that’s too fucking bad,” Buffy said harshly.

“Just…..forget the whole thing,” Xander said.
“Fine,” Buffy said. “Get out.”
She massaged her temple. trying to digest this information.
“Wait,” she said, as if it had just occurred to her. “What about Spike?”

“What about him?” Xander said, not looking at her.
“You promised,” Buffy said, her voice trembling with accusation.
“You promised you’d help.”

“You didn’t give me a reason,” Xander said, tucking in his shirt and turned to go. “What the hell do you want from me?”

Buffy said, her voice shaking with fury as she rose from the bed.

Xander looked back at her. He considered it.
“I want you,” he said simply.
When Buffy opened her mouth to argue he added,
“To forget about Spike,” he said. “He doesn’t exist anymore.”

Buffy goggled at him.
“I want you to seduce me. To make love with me. Make me believe you want me.”

Oh you have to be fucking kidding me, Buffy thought as her
mouth hung open, searching for a response.

“This is ………crazy” she spluttered.
“Your choice,” Xander said quietly.

There was no threat in his voice. Then again, there really didn’t need to be.
He held all the cards. Buffy knew that this was the only way to keep her
husband out of jail. She exhaled deeply.

“So, what then?”
He took a long pause, considering the situation.
“Let’s start over,” he said.
“Okay,” Buffy said.

“Newlyweds,” Xander spoke.
“Huh?” Buffy asked, completely bewildered by him. “Who?”
“You,” he stated, chuckling at the look on her face.
“And me. Us.”

“I….”
“We’re on our honeymoon,” Xander added quickly.
“And you can’t keep your hands off me.”

Oh, Buffy thought. He wants us to pretend. Newlyweds.
Totally not crazy.

“I’ll wait,” Xander said, sitting down, gesturing for her to get back
ito the bathroom.
Buffy felt her world spin, but nodded, she took those few steps towards the
bathroom.
When she opened the door, she heard him call out to her.
“Buffy,” he said, she looked back at him.
“Make it real,” he said.
There was almost a pleading tone in his voice. Almost. But this time,
she heard the threat.

That’s my price.

Buffy shut the door. She resisted the urge to slam her head into it.
This is insane, she thought desperately. I can’t do this.
“You have to,” she said quietly.
She stared at herself in the mirror.

But how can I? How?

She thought about it, before an old method her high school drama
teacher had waxed on about.

Immersion, she remembered. It was called immersion.
Living in character.

She knew she simply didn’t have the time, so she closed her eyes.
Quickly, she tried to build up alternate history of their ‘characters.’
“Newlyweds,” she muttered. “Me and Xander. On our honeymoon.
Newlyweds. On our honeymoon. Can’t keep our hands off each other.”

Xander sat on the bed, tossing his shirt to the ground once again. He
waited for a few seconds, his impatience growing. He was about to call
to her, when the door swung open.

“Hey baby,” she said to him. She leant against the door, somehow
accentuating her long smooth legs. Her voice was husky. Her eyes were
ablaze.
“Miss me?”

Xander couldn’t believe it. This wasn’t the same woman. Just a short
while ago, she seemed so unsure of herself. So meek. But that woman was
gone.Vanished behind the door. This magnificent creature stood tall and
proud, accentuated by her high heels. She was eyeing him as if he were
her prey.

“Come here and I’ll show you,” Xander said his voice husky with lust.
She stepped to the bed playfully, giving him a seductive smile.
“What do you think?” she asked, biting her lip playfully.
“Like my outfit?”

“I dunno,” he said, standing up to extend his hand.
“I think I need a closer look.”
When Buffy placed her hand in his, she was jolted back into
reality. Her eyes widened. She stared at his hand. She
swallowed, looking at him, blinking hard. Her “character” melted away.
And it all came flooding, rushing, gushing, back to her.
Spike. Jail. Blackmail. Xander. Pretend.

Newlyweds, she thought, closing her eyes. Newlyweds in love. She
dedicated the whole of her self to those very thoughts, and with great
effort, cleared her mind. And then she let herself be filled by
those thoughts. When she opened her eyes, she wasn’t
herself. She was someone else. Someone new. Someone swept up in
love and want and need.

“Better?” she asked, smiling seductively.
“Barely,” he said, reaching out for her.
Buffy felt her breath quicken when his hands curled around her waist,
then pulled her flush against him.

Xander looked into her eyes deeply, as if trying to determine something.
“I love you,” he said, cupping her chin, his eyes a soft brown.
“I love you so much.”

Spike’s Buffy would have screamed. She would have slapped him. She
would have told him to go to hell. She would have kneed him in the groin.
But that Buffy wasn’t here. That Buffy had been pushed down, so deep
that she could only see and hear what was happening as if it was to
another person.

“Show me.” she said, her voice husky.
Disappointment flickered behind Xander’s eyes. Just for a moment.
Then it was gone.

“Can I have you? Xander asked, softly. He wanted to give her
another chance. He needed to hear her say it.
“I’m yours,” she said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
“Take me.”
Chapter End Notes:
So, feedback please?
Chapter 3 by shithappens
Author's Notes:
The calm after the storm. Before the storm.
Buffy opened her eyes, blinking hard. Once. Twice. Thrice. She felt the pillow against her head first, then the ache of her limbs, and lastly, her body, naked and sweaty. She raised her head, rubbed her eyes with her hands and sat up.

“Morning,” a lazy, smug voice said, as a hand caressed her back, making her look over her shoulder.

Buffy gasped when she saw Xander lying back against the headboard, a sly satisfied smile on his face. And then she remembered.

“Oh,” she said, as the memories came flooding back.

Last night. The things I…..we…….the things we did.

“Oh god,” she whispered, shutting her eyes, realizing that she was too overcome with shock to feel anything. She was damn glad of that. She didn’t want to feel. Not yet. Not now. Not ever.

“Morning,” Xander said, running a finger down her back, pausing to caress her flesh.

“No,” Buffy said, pushing his hand away angrily, turning around to glare at him, clutching the sheet to herself. She was happy to focus on her rage, anything to distract from the hurt she knew was coming. Eventually.

“That’s……..over.”

Xander chuckled, gently tugging at her bedsheet. She’d put on a hell of a show last night. And now, he expected it to continue. For a little while at least.

“Soon,” Xander said, giving the sheet a tug. “Not yet.”

“It is,” Buffy hissed, “you promised……..”

“You’ll get everything you want,” Xander whispered. “I remember.”

Buffy opened her mouth to tell him to leave, but he cut her off.

“After I get everything I want…….” he said, biting his lip and pulling at the sheet. Buffy folded her arms, stopping the cloth from moving any lower.

“Are you sure?” Xander said, the threat in his voice unspoken, but present.

It would all be for nothing, she realized. She wanted to have left the things she did last night, no, the things that that Buffy did in the darkness, but she had no choice.

Just a little while more.

Buffy’s hold on the sheet slackened and he tugged until only their nakedness was left between them. As Xander came forward and took her in his arms, Buffy realized he had absolutely no intention of letting her go. Until he absolutely had to. She was right. He kept her in bed all morning, his smooth voice coaxing threats that she knew that would have made her skin crawl, had she been able to feel.

Xander Harris couldn’t stop himself for grinning as he dressed himself. He’d done it. He’d bedded Buffy Summers, his dream girl. He’d had her in every way a man could have a woman last night. At least twice. He’d made sure of that. And this morning was just the cherry on….her cherry. He noticed that she wasn’t looking at him. He wondered if she was wary of antagonizing him.

“You should go,” Buffy said, her voice weary.
“I need to……….”

Buffy stopped herself. She wouldn’t think of him. She wouldn’t. Not until Xander was gone.

“Welcome back your husband,” Xander said, giving her a sly smile. One she had seen up close, several times already. One that would haunt her dreams.

“I know. He’s a lucky man”

“Go,” Buffy said, turning her head. “Just….go.”

Xander nodded, then sat down. He bent over her, then turned her face until she was looking at him.

“Goodbye Buffy,” he whispered, touching her face. And then before she could stop him, he kissed her one last time. A long, insistent kiss that went on forever. When Buffy opened her eyes, he was licking his lips, savouring a final taste of her. She closed her eyes again and when she opened then he was gone.

Like a bad dream that never happened. But it had happened. And it wasn't a dream.

What now? she thought desperately, looking around. What now?
Chapter End Notes:
So, what now you ask? Well, stay tuned.....
Chapter 4 by shithappens
Author's Notes:
Okay. Full steam ahead.Review people. I need reviews. Please.
Chapter 6

At four a clock, Buffy finally managed to drag herself out of bed. She only had a couple of hours until Spike came home. She made her way to the bathroom, and jumped into the hot shower. She brushed until her gums nearly bled, washed and scrubbed until her skin was raw and pink and clean. Even though she refused to think about it, she knew she was trying to rid herself of his smell and scent of him. She focused on cleaning herself, keeping her mind occupied. The last thing she wanted to do was to reflect on what had happened last night. And this morning.

“Nothing happened,” she whispered, as she dried her hair, trying to make herself believe it. “Nothing,” she said determinedly, opening her eyes to stare at herself in the mirror. She knew it wasn’t true, but she didn’t care. She was going to make it so.

“Just a bad dream,” Buffy said in a hushed voice. “A bad dream.” She nodded to herself firmly and stepped out of the bathroom. She chose a flowery, feminine dress that always made her feel good and got dressed slowly, trying to minimize the soreness in her body that was a harsh reminder of the truth. She tended to her make up, then glanced at the clock. 17:45. She didn’t have much time. She looked around to see that the room was a mess. Her eyes fell on the black negligee she had worn the night before, startling proof of both her undying love for her husband and her infidelity to him.

Whore, she heard a voice whisper in her mind, insidiously. Whose, she couldn’t tell. Perhaps it was Xander’s. Perhaps Spike’s. Perhaps her own. Her lips quivered just a little, her eyes watered and then she took a deep breath and was back in charge. Quickly she began clearing up. She picked up the outfit and tossed it into the corner, then did the same with the sheets and the pillow cases, without any emotion. She quickly made the bed, then bent down, looking for trash under. And she stared at what she found.

Used condoms. And plenty of them. More evidence of what never happened. Despite being ‘in character’ she’d been smart enough to insist that they use protection. And Xander had agreed, albeit very reluctantly. But only in exchange for her going down on him. And staying until the very end. Something he’d made her do so many, many times. Even just thinking about it now, for a moment, made her sick.The whole thing had played out as a farce. They had pretended to be two lovers bantering. But neither of them was delusional enough to actually buy into it. They both knew exactly what was going on. They were making a deal. Her virtue for his silence.

She hurried into the bathroom to get a packet of tissues, gathering up the condoms, when she suddenly stopped. We used condoms last night. And this morning……..right?

“Right,” Buffy said, “of course we used condoms this morning. Of course we did. That was the deal.”

And then she remembered. She had awoken, sleepy and groggy. Xander had caught her off guard. He’d threatened her into letting him have her. Again and again and again.
Without condoms, Buffy realized suddenly, feeling absolutely nauseous.

“No,” she whispered, shaking her head. “No. No. No. No.”

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she screamed flinging the tissues and the condoms away, letting herself collapse to the floor and weep. She didn’t know how long she stayed there. She didn’t care. She screamed and cried until she passed out. When she awoke, she found that the room was pitch dark. She wiped her tear soaked cheeks with her hands, then looked around.

“Spike?” she whispered into the darkness. She stood on shaky legs, then turned on the bedside light. The room was empty. She went to the hall, expecting to find him just sitting there, looking at her. Empty. The kitchen? Empty. The guest bedroom? Empty. She reached for the house phone, but it wasn’t there. She spotted her mobile on the coffee table, then snatched it up.

12 Missed Calls. 4 new messages. All from William.

Her hands trembled as she clicked on the messages.

“Plane delayed. Should be back later on tonight. I love you.”

Next message.

“Plane cancelled. Should be back tomorrow. Bloody southwest airlines. I love you. I’m sorry.”

Next message

“Buffy, call me. Been trying to reach you. Please. I’m sorry love. I’m sorry. Please.”

Final message

“Don’t shut me out love. Please don’t shut me out. I tried to tell you. So many times I tried. I just couldn’t.
Please. I love you. Call me back. Please.”

Buffy stared at the phone, then dialled his number. He picked it up on the second ring.

“Buffy,” he whispered, “Where have you been? I’ve been going crazy….”

“I’m fine,” Buffy managed to croak. “Honey, I just took a sleeping pill. I haven’t been feeling well.”

“Oh thank god,” Spike said, his voice sounding clearly relieved.

A moment of awkward silence rested between them.

“Look,” Spike said, taking a deep breath. “I didn’t want
you to worry. I’ve hired the best lawyer to defend me. And we …..”

You don’t need a lawyer, Buffy almost blurted out. Not after what I…. Oh god, what did I do?..

“Just…..come home Spike,” she said instead. “Come home to me.”

“I’ll be there tomorrow,” Spike promised.
“I love you,” Buffy whispered, hanging up the phone, then stared at it. "You have no idea how much I love you."

She hugged herself, making her way back into the bedroom and turned on the lights. All she saw were condoms and tissue papers. And then she remembered.

The condoms.

She searched the drawers of her room frantically. She couldn’t find her morning after pills. Or her prescription.

“Did Xander take them?” she asked herself, shaking her head. After last night and this morning, she wasn't ready to put anything past him.

“Did you take them, you bastard,” she asked, her voice breaking. Yet she managed to control herself. Moments later, she realized what she had to do. She swallowed her pride and dialed the number of her ultimate frenemy.

“Yeah,” she heard a gruff voice answer.

“I need your help,” Buffy said.

“Hello to you too blondie,” Faith said, sickly sweetly. “It’s been a while.”

“Come over,” Buffy said. “And……”

“And?” Faith repeated, her interest suddenly peaked.

Buffy gulped. “And…..bring……”

“Bring what blondie?” Faith teased. “A dildo? Loverboy ain’t getting it done? I'm touched....”

“Bring some morning after pills,” Buffy said, hanging up the phone.

“Well fuck me,” Faith whistled. “Blondie’s a bad girl. Who knew?”

“Shut the fuck up,” the guy sleeping next to her growled.

“Get the fuck out,” Faith responded.

“Seriously?” he asked, raising his head. Faith smiled, bending over to retrieve a stun gun she’d kept under her bed since college. She brandished it threateningly, and he threw up his arms.

“Call me,” she mocked as he beat a hasty retreat, falling all over himself to get away. "Loser."

Faith searched her stash until she came upon her morning after pills. She looked at them, and then called Buffy back.

“I’m out,” she said.

“What?” Buffy croaked. “You’re………out?”

“What can I say,” Faith grinned, enjoying herself.

“Keep looking. Please.”

“Oh I can keep looking,” Faith said, checking her nails. “I was just……….”

“Just what?” Buffy asked.

“Just wondering why you need morning after pills.”

“Because I had sex,” Buffy growled. "Duh."

“You told me you were trying to have a baby. Remember?“ Faith teased. "And don't morning after pills......"

Oh god. Buffy remembered. That's why she hadn’t refilled her prescription. Of course.

“We changed our minds,” Buffy said, her voice shaking.

“You’re lying B,” Faith said, clearly amused. “So tell me. Who didja fuck that wasn’t your husband?”

“No one,” Buffy insisted.

“Bbye B,” Faith threatened.

“It wasn’t like that,” Buffy blurted out.

“So you did,” Faith grinned. “Who?”

“No one,” Buffy insisted. “Faith please…..”

“Where?” Faith said, switching tacks. “You gotta gimme something B. Or no pills for Buffy.”

“At home,” Buffy whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “In my bed.” She didn't want to say anything, but she couldn't help herself. It was like drawing poison from her veins.

“You’re so nasty B,” Faith grinned. “Now be a good girl and tell me who it was.”

“Xander Harris,” Buffy whispered instinctively, “It was Xander. He…”

“Spike’s boss?” Faith chuckled, “Well what do you know. Mr happily married nice guy has a working dick. Well, that’s one way of getting your husband ahead. Giving his boss some head.”

Buffy felt tears come to her eyes.

“Did you enjoy it B?” Faith taunted, eager to extract one last pound of flesh.

“No,” Buffy croaked. She knew she couldn't stop now, even if she wanted to. “He blackmailed me. Faith, I didn't want to. But I had to. I had to pretend. Otherwise...."

Faith stopped breathing. What the fuck.

"What are you saying B?" she said carefully.

"I think........i think he raped me."

"I'll be right over," Faith promised.

"He raped me," Buffy realized, letting the phone fall to the floor.
Chapter End Notes:
More to come. Stay tuned....PS I know many people will hate Faith and the way she came off, but there's a reason for introducing her character. Have faith. No pun intended.
Chapter 5 by shithappens
Faith rubbed Buffy’s back as the blonde wiped a tear from her face. She had listened in disbelief as Buffy recounted what had happened last night. Her disbelief had turned to shock when she had heard the proposal that Xander had placed before Buffy. And then anger, when Buffy had told her that she had let him in her bed last night.

“I made sure we used protection,” Buffy said quickly.

“Every single time?” Faith asked skeptically, shaking her head. "How?"

“Yes,” Buffy whispered. “I.....made sure of it.”

“And the pills?” Faith asked, looking down at the pills in her hand.

“Just…….to be safe,” Buffy said, faltering a little.

Buffy couldn’t bring herself to tell Faith what had happened this morning. She just couldn’t. She would take the pills and then things would be fine. Completely fine. Faith looked at her disbelievingly, knowing that Buffy was holding something back. She decided to ignore it.

“Buffy,” Faith said, shaking her head. “You know you can’t trust that son of a bitch. Right?”

“I know,” Buffy said miserably. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“I’m sorry,” Faith said, exhaling audibly. “I’m here for you okay? Whatever you need.”

“Thanks,” Buffy said, drying her eyes.

“You hear me B?” Faith asked. “Whatever you need.”

Buffy frowned when Faith gave her a hard stare, as if trying to comprehend what Faith was saying. She stared at the pills on the table for a while, before she reached out for one, praying that it would work.

The next day…..

“I can explain,” Spike said. They had been sitting across the table for the last hour, each of them trying to find the words.

“Yes or no?” Buffy asked, looking down at her lap.

“It’s not that simple,” he said softly.

“Explain it to me,” Buffy said, keeping her voice deliberately steady.

“I…..borrowed….some….money,” Spike said. “Just for a little while. Until things got better. I kept paying some of it back from my salary. It……didn’t really cost anyone anything.”

It cost me everything, Buffy wanted to scream at him. He can never know, she had realized, as she tossed and turned on the very bed on which she had betrayed her marriage vows. Never.

“So…what happened?” she asked, a hint of bitterness creeping into her voice.

“Xander found out,” Spike said, tapping the table nervously. “But he said he’ll cover for me. Until I pay all of it back. He swore.”

Bastard, Buffy thought, with loathing she fought hard to conceal.

“It’ll be okay,” Spike promised, reaching out to take her hand in his. “I swear. We’ll take care of it.”

I already did, Buffy thought. Oh god, what did I do?

They lapsed into a long silence once again.

“I’m….going to stay in the guest bedroom,” Buffy said, withdrawing her hand.

“Buffy…….” Spike said as she rose from her seat, then walked away. “We can get past this.”

The plea in his voice stopped her in her tracks.

“Not today,” Buffy said, wiping her hand with her eyes.

Spike stared blankly after her, unable to believe what he had just heard. He had done this for her. He expected her to be upset, but surely not this much. He wasn't stealing. Not exactly.

“Fuck,” he whispered, rubbing his head.

I need a bloody drink. Or ten thousand.

When he heard his cellphone buzz he swore, but he felt glad when he saw who it was.

“Hey man,” Xander’s concerned voice said. “When didja get back? How are you?”

“I’m okay,” Spike said, rubbing his head, his voice ragged.

“Lemme guess?” he heard Xander say, in an amused voice. “Buffy.”

“Yeah,” Spike chuckled. “Buffy.”

Xander smirked as his brain flashed several delicious memories. Of him and Buffy acting out his many fantasies.Oh if you could only see your precious Buffy, Xander thought, shutting his eyes. See what she did to me. With me. What she let me do to her. If you could only see…..

“Listen man,” Xander said, trying to sound sincere. “I had to tell Anya. I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep it in, ya know? She’s my wife. I promise she’s cool.”

“You sure about that?” Spike asked, swallowing heavily. “My arse is on the line.”

“She hates the old man’s guts,” Xander chuckled. “As much as she likes you. Don’t worry. It’s like it never happened.”

It was yet another of the things that had infuriated Xander about Spike. The way his wife acted around him. Like a fucking schoolgirl. The way she shut her eyes when Xander made love to her. The way she bit her lip from moaning the wrong name. He grit his teeth, swallowing the bile that rose in his throat. It cut deep, knowing that his wife preferred another in her bed.

But not as much as knowing that your wife had another, Xander thought, smiling nastily. He felt an overwhelming urge to tell Spike what he had done, but controlled himself. No, as much as he’d enjoy torturing Spike, he knew that there was one thing he enjoyed even more. Bedding Buffy again. And again. And again. He saw no reason to stop.

“How did Buffy take it?” Xander asked, unable to resist a double entendre.

I know exactly how she took it, Xander thought snorting. She loved every minute of it. Even if the bitch pretends otherwise.

“Not well,” Spike said gruffly.

“Don’t worry,” Xander said. “She’ll come around.”

“Thanks,” Spike said, hanging up the phone.

She’ll come all right, Xander thought running his hand over the soft sheets he was lying in. Right here. I’ll make sure of it. Or she'll see your ass rot in jail.
Chapter 6 by shithappens
Author's Notes:
Okay. This is gonna be angsty. The good news is, there's nowhere to go but up
“Can I have you? she heard a soft voice whisper in her ear.



A voice that was tender and sinister all at once.



“No,” Buffy whimpered, as she lay under the covers. Her eyes were heavier than she could bear, yet deep sleep eluded her. She was halfway there, stuck between two worlds and belonging to neither.



“I’m yours,” she heard a husky voice say inside her head. A voice that sounded urgent with need. But a voice that shook with trepidation. “Take me.”



Whose voice was that? she wondered drowsily. A moment later she had her answer. Mine. It’s my voice. But it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. She’d never say that to another man. She’d never cheat on her William. Never.



Her eyes were closed. She could feel his breath warm on her face, then a soft pair of lips graze her mouth, experimentally. She froze. Those weren’t her husband’s lips. Whose lips were those? Alarm bells set off in her head. Those strange lips lingered on her mouth. Smacking softly.



“No,” she mumbled.



A moment later the lips felt insistent. And then almost with a hint of menace. And then she did the only thing she could do to defuse the tension. She kissed him back, again and again and again. As if trying to soothe his rage. Her hands were over his shoulders and running through his hair, trying to calm him down, reassuring him that she was his. Only his.



But it only stoked his passions and urged him on. Now his mouth had opened and his tongue was licking her lips, begging her to let him in. She had no choice. A moment later she opened her mouth and his tongue found hers. The tongues swirled about like two dancers, lapping and licking and sucking. They tongue kissed until they couldn’t breathe, separated to draw in breath and then kissed some more.



Buffy wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She was going to throw up.



“Fuck I love tasting you,” a voice rasped with undisguised glee. She opened her eyes to see him grinning at her.

Smile. Smile. Smile.



And then she was smiling and telling him she loved tasting him too.



Memories flashed quickly before her eyes. She was completely naked, her legs were over his shoulders, his mouth on her quim as his hands kneaded her breasts. Her weak protests had been pushed away. She had bitten her own mouth so hard that she could taste her own blood.



She was kneeling between his legs, looking up at him. He was stroking her hair, his lustful eyes urging her on. And then he watched her pleasure him with her mouth. He was always watching her.



And then he was on top of her. Inside her. Behind her. Thrusting away. Whispering in her ear, telling her how much he loved her. Telling her how beautiful she was. Telling her how much he loved fucking her. Demanding she tell him she loved him. Demanding she admit that she loved him fucking her. Demanding she scream his name.



And she had. She had done everything he asked of her. She had lied to him. And to herself. It was her only way of coping that night.



And then Buffy leant over the side of the bed, spilling out the remnants of her pathetic dinner. And she wept. Wept until she had no more grief left in her.

Chapter End Notes:
So how much do you guys hate me?
Chapter 7 by shithappens
Author's Notes:
I know it's been a while....
“We have to attend a dinner,” Spike said, breaking Buffy out of her
reviere. They were sitting on opposite ends of the couch .“On Saturday.”

“Oh….” Buffy said, “Okay.”

The last month had been the worst of their marriage. There had
developed a wall between them, an invisible boundary that both of them
could sense. Spike had made some attempts to engage Buffy, but when he
was rebuffed, he had backed off and given her space.

“Where?” Buffy asked idly.

“At the Hart estate,” Spike said, looking at his phone. “Huh.”

Buffy almost blanched, glad that her husband wasn’t looking at her.

The Hart estate was owned by Hiram Hart, he of the Wolfram and Hart.
Father of Anya Jenkins-Hart. Which meant….

“What?” Buffy said, a pit growing in her stomach.

“Just got a message from Anya. Apparently Hiram Hart’s looking to get
into the art biz.”

“Oh,” Buffy said. Spike was looking at her quizzically, and she forced
herself to smile. A millionaire expressing interest in acquiring paintings was supposed to be a good thing. But she couldn’t ignore the sick feeling in her stomach. She didn’t want to see him again. Buffy
knew she had to play this carefully. As far as Spike knew, she was angry and sad at his behavior. And nothing else. In the past she’d always lectured him about how much she loved attending these balls and
how the chance to spread the word about her new artists always brought in revenue. So now she couldn’t just turn on a dime. Even if she wanted to.

“This is good right?” Spike asked, giving her an encouraging smile. He reached forward, trying to take her hands in his. And Buffy decided let him have his crumb. “Good,” Buffy said, letting Spike bring her hands to his lips and kissing them softly. “Really good.”

I’ll handle it, she resolved.

“Where’s my phone?” Anya whined, “I’m running late for the show.”

“Try the hall,” Xander said, running his thumb across the touchscreen of his wife’s phone he had hidden under the covers, deleting the last few messages he had sent.

“Saturday,” Xander whispered, slipping the phone smoothly under a pillow.

Saturday….

Buffy and Spike walked into the ballroom arm in arm. Her eyes widened as she took in the sculpted marble statues, the expressionist paintings and the boutique décor. Hiram Hart was clearly a man of
expensive tastes. Or at least his decorator was. “Ka-ching,” Spike whispered in her ear, giving her a sly smile, that she returned momentarily, but then faltered.

“What is it love?” Spike asked gently frowning.

“Hey guys,” a cheerful voice interrupted, saving Buffy from having to
answer. She looked over to see Anya giving her the fakest smile she’d
ever seen.

“I’m so glad you made it,” she intoned, looking directly at Spike, her
voice slightly shrill. “Both of you,” she added a moment later, giving
Spike a wink and a nudge and adding a high pitched laugh.
Bitch, Buffy thought.

“Just happy to be here luv,” Spike said, putting his arm around Buffy
and squeezing gently thrice. Buffy recognized the old code that she
and Spike had come up with.

Let’s get away from this crazy bint.

“Cya around,” Buffy pursed her lips, then led her husband away,
leaving Anya looking after Spike wistfully .

“Whew,” Spike said, putting his mouth to her ear. “That was close.”

Can I have you? she heard, jerking her head around, making Spike startle.

“Right,” Buffy said, letting out a little chuckle. “That was close. Yeah.”

I need to talk to someone, she realized. She’d spent the entire month
in denial, trying to put it out of her mind. Nothing happened had been
her mantra. But it had. It kept coming back to her, at the oddest of
times.

I need to get past this. Otherwise I’ll go crazy. He forced me into
pretending otherwise, she thought bitterly once again. He forced me
into pretending. But we both know what it was. It was rape. I couldn’t
say no. Those words were on a loop in her brain, like a damn record
that was stuck. I couldn’t say no. But I couldn’t not say no.

“Do you mind if I cut in?” Buffy heard him say. Her heart stopped, she
was sure. She steeled herself. She had prepared for this. She thought.
Act normal. And then she looked at him.

“Hey,” she said. But her eyes remained
cold. Bastard, she thought as anger flooded her as he stood there,
smiling at her husband, then at her. She could make out the hint of
smugness in his smile, the knowing look in his eye. Suddenly she was
gripped by the fear that Spike would read it in his eyes.

“Sure thing Harris,” Spike said, giving his own hand to Xander in an
imitation of a Victorian gentleman. Buffy was glad to read the
irritation beneath his playful banter. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“Not you bleachboy,” Xander said bristling.

Buffy looked at her husband, torn between wanting to have him save her
from this uncomfortable situation and not asking any questions about
why she was feeling uncomfortable about dancing with Xander.

“I wanna dance too,” a chirpy voice said, as Buffy was about to
answer. Anya suddenly appeared out of nowhere, grabbing Spike’s arms.
Spike gave Anya a forced smile then glanced at Buffy as she literally
dragged him onto the dance floor, throwing a look back at Buffy that
said ‘God Help Me.’

“They look good together,” Xander said softly, but Buffy could see the
jaw tighten, “but not as good as……..”

“Go away,” she said, raising the glass to her lips so that Spike
couldn’t see what she was saying.
“Meet me upstairs,” Xander said, out of the corner of his mouth. “We
need to…………talk.”

Buffy’s heart began to pound. Her head spun.

“No,” she said, as firmly as she could manage.

“Upstairs. Second room from the left,” he muttered, walking away
before Buffy had a chance to respond. She kept her eyes on her
husband, gritting her teeth when she saw Anya pawing at him. And then
she saw Spike’s shoulders tense. She followed his gaze until she saw
Xander having an animated discussion with Hiram Hart, the silver
haired attorney famous for his cowboy hats. She looked back to see
Spike give Anya a tight smile as she continued to blather on about
something. And when Xander’s eyes flickered towards her she understood
the very real threat that he posed.

Xander glanced at his phone when he heard a tiny ping. Upstairs, the
message said. He grinned with satisfaction, excused himself from the
appallingly dull conversation over mergers and stock acquisitions with
Hiram. He glanced at Spike and Anya. His wife was literally fawning
over Spike. And the prick looked like he was enjoying the attention.
Enjoy dancing with my wife Spikey, Xander thought, I’m going to go
dance with yours.

Upstairs, Buffy waited.

I can’t let it happen again, she decided. I can’t. I won’t. I’ll find
a way. And yet it rang hollow to her ears. Coming here was a mistake.
She heard the door creak open and there he was. Looking at her.

“You look beautiful,” Xander grinned.
“What do you want?” she said, trying not to cringe. She knew what he wanted.

“To dance,” Xander said, gently locking the door behind him.

“No,” Buffy said, flinching at the sound.

“Just one dance,” Xander said, giving her a sly smile. “Please.”

“Fuck you,” Buffy hissed.

Xander grinned, “I was hoping for some foreplay first.”

Buffy quickly snatched up the pen knife that was on the table behind
her and brandished it at him.

“Stay away from me,” she said, “or so help me god….”

“You’re right,” Xander said, taking a step back. “I should go. To
Hiram. To the auditors. To the cops.”

“Shouldn’t I?” Xander asked, seeing the knife waver in her hand.

“No,” Buffy said, shutting her eyes.

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked.

No. No. No.

“We had a deal,” she whispered helplessly, shutting her eyes.

“We still do,” he said gently, coming closer. He took the knife from
her hand and tossed it onto the sofa, then touched her face gently.

“As long as I get what I want.”

Buffy looked at him. She saw obsession in his eyes. It frightened her.

How could she have missed this? Had it always been there?

“Have you slept with him?” Xander asked sinisterly, his hand tightening on her
waist so much Buffy was afraid he’d leave a bruise. The gall of the
question so took her aback that it was all she could do to instinctively shake her head and blurt out a response.

“N..n…no….”
He let out a sigh he had been holding then backed her up, trapping her
against the desk.

“Good,” he said chuckling, gripping the solid oaken fixture, “because
you……..are…….mine.”

He bent down to seek her mouth out for a kiss, but she turned her
face. He frowned, trying again, but she denied him once more.

Bitch, he thought, snarling. An idea suddenly struck him and he almost
laughed with twisted pleasure. He grasped her hips and turned her
around. Buffy realized what he had in mind a moment too late. She
tried to struggle against him, but he had her hands and body pinned
down.

“Stop,” she said harshly, still struggling.

“You’ll love it,” he soothed, “just like you did that night.”

“No,” she hissed, looking back at him, suddenly finding her anger.
“We both know what that was.”

Her words caused his eyes to flicker with rage.

“This is going to happen Buffy,” Xander said, almost matter of factly.

“Let’s make it nice and slow,” he whispered softly, making her shut
her eyes and struggle.

“Trust me,” he hissed, his voice suddenly a hot white fury that made
her fear for her life.

Buffy forced herself to swallow the panic in her throat. And to stall
for time. She took a deep breath.

“You’re right,” Buffy said. “You’re right,” she repeated louder, “I
did………love it. I……I was just…..afraid of admitting it.”

Buffy looked back, knowing that she’d say whatever it took to stall
for time. She couldn’t let that happen. Not again. She had to get away.

“Really,” Buffy whispered softly, as she stared at his big brown eyes.
And she knew he wanted to believe her. She just knew. He was
delusional. And she could play that to her advantage. She just needed
to get to her cellphone.

“Xander……..that night……was……….”

Disgusting.

“Amazing,” she finished, hating herself for saying these words.

“I knew it,” Xander said, sighing in relief. “I knew it.”

“Nice and slow?” she asked, looking back at him and giving the perfect
cheerleading facsimile of a smile.

“You be nice,” he grinned maniacally, using one hand to undo his
pants, as the other flipped up her skirt. “And I’ll go slow.”

“Wait,” Buffy said, when she felt him tug at her panties, making him
narrow his eyes. She’d remembered where she’d stashed her purse.

“Let me prove how much I loved it,” she said, licking her lips
provocatively, her hand carefully hooked
into his belt, trying to avoid contact.

“Later,” Xander said, although Buffy could tell he was tempted.

“Who says there’ll be a later?” she said.

“Oh there’ll be a later,” Xander whispered.

“Glad you think so,” she challenged. All the while she silently prayed that
he’d take the bait. When she felt him turn her around she exhaled.
Now comes the hard part, she thought, looking up into his eyes.

“Show me,” Xander ordered, loosening his grip on her.

“Get on the table,” Buffy said. Xander allowed her to turn him around
and push him onto the table, then watched her slowly unbuckle his
pants. Buffy milked it for all it was worth, hoping that someone would
knock at the door or call. Nothing happened.

She knelt in front of him, and her fingers closed on the purse she had
stashed under the table. She managed to open it up, but when her
fingers felt the metallic phone she thought she saw him a flicker of a frown at her absent hand. So she
stood up, pulling out her compact and some lip gloss.

“Wanna freshen up,” she said, popping open the mirror.

She painstakingly reapplied it, taking her time as Xander watched her with an intensity that made her want to scream.
Please somebody. Anybody.

“How do I look?” Buffy asked, gently nudging the phone towards her with her heel.
Don’t stamp on it. Don’t stamp on it.

“Perfect,” Xander whispered, bending his head in to taste her. And
Buffy just stood frozen as his lips came closer and closer, then shut
her eyes and took a breath.

Spike surreptitiously looked around, wondering where Buffy was.
Somehow he had landed up in the midst of Hiram and his cronies, who
were babbling about the latest injustices perpetrated by the activist
courts.

Wankers, he thought, gritting his teeth and forcing himself to smile.
Anya had a firm grip on his arm and was looking on with a proud smile,
as if he was hers to show off. Spike had once been flattered by the
attention, but now he was just put out. Suddenly, he decided, he
needed to get away for a bit.

“Did you see where Buffy went pet?” Spike asked Anya, turning his
head, slightly.

Anya smiled. Just a little closer baby. Oh look at those cheekbones. I
could cut myself on those.

“Daddy I’m going to go show William around,” Anya said loudly,
dragging Spike away before he could protest.

“Whatever you say princess,” Hiram Hart said, trying hard to conceal
his displeasure as his fellow partners chuckled. He was trying to
decide if the boy was worthy of taking a seat at the table. But what
gave him pause was the way his daughter was behaving. She was married
for Christ’s sakes. Hell they both were. Not that he was particularly
fond of her husband, but still. It wouldn’t be good for the company’s
image if these things were found out.

In my day at least we had the good sense to keep these things quiet,
he thought, sipping his whisky.

Buffy placed a finger on Xander’s mouth. “You’ll mess it up,” she
said, thinking quickly. She sank to her knees before he could counter
her, then grasped for the phone.
Her expert fingers quickly typed a message, then realized she needed to have a look. But she couldn’t look away. He was watching her like a hawk.

“Say cheese,” Buffy said, brazenly pointing the phone up at him and
pretending to snap a picture as she quickly scanned the message and
pressed send. With a flick of her finger she switched on the camera
and snapped a few shaky pictures of him.

Delete those later.

Xander plucked the phone from her hands. Buffy waited, her heart
hammering in her chest as he glanced at the screen.

Don’t check the messages. Don’t check….

“Take off your clothes” Xander said, turning the phone back down onto
her, crooking his head to one side, his voice dangerous.

Oh god. Pictures.

Buffy’s fingers shook as she undressed herself slowly, shimmying out
of her dress, making him hiss when he saw her lacy pink underwear.
Come on. Come on. Come on, she prayed, desperately hoping that her
message had been received, read and acted upon.

“Your hair,” Xander growled, trying to position the camera perfectly.
“Put it up.” He couldn’t see her face. He needed to see her face. It
had to be perfect. Just perfect.

Buffy obeyed, albeit as slowly as she could manage without pissing him off.

“How do I look?” Buffy asked, trying not to hyperventilate.

“Almost perfect,” Xander grinned, “Almost.”

And Xander reached down to touch her face gently, then curled around
her hair and pulled her head into his lap.
“Perfect,” he hissed.
“So this is one of my rooms,” Anya said, biting her lip, leaning
against the door, her hand already turning the lock behind her.

“Yeah,” Spike said, looking around and not really looking at the
French bed, the lattice windows and the designer furniture.

“I should probably go look for Bu….”

“How are things with you and Buffy?” Anya asked.

“Fine,” Spike said, taken aback by her directness. He could never get
used to that.

“You can talk to me you know,” Anya said, coming a little closer.
“Thanks,” Spike said, warily.

“You can lean on me Spike” she said, her eyes hopeful and a little
glazed. “In every way.”

And then they heard someone scream.

Xander froze. A single scream became a multitude of screams. All
saying the same thing.

“Fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

His eyes widened in horror.

“We have to get out of here,” Xander said frantically, snatching for
his clothes as the screams and the sounds of feet stomping reached a
crescendo.

Buffy reached for her dress, her hands shaking in relief, then quickly slipped into it.
“I’m going out the back,” Xander said, sniffing the air.

“You take the front.”

Buffy didn’t argue. She didn’t care. She just wanted him gone.

Xander looked at her, his eyes clouding over with frustration, and
Buffy could see that he was gritting his teeth, angry at being
thwarted. In his left fist, she saw a flash of something silvery and
shiny, something he idly deposited in his shirt pocket.

Oh no, Buffy thought. The phone. The pictures. Oh god.

“Wait,” Buffy croaked.

The phone, she thought desperately. The goddamn phone.

“What?” he snapped, desperate to make a run for it.

Gotta get the phone.

Without giving herself a chance to think about it she flung herself at him.
“I’m scared,” she whimpered as her hands grasped at the front of his
shirt. “I don’t want to die.”

“Stop it,” Xander snarled, trying to shake her off. “We need to go.”

Buffy knew this wasn’t going to work. He was shaking about too much.
So out of sheer desperation, she kissed him. Xander struggled for a moment, but then his need got the better of him and he gave in.

Riley. Riley. Riley, Buffy thought, her hand inching towards the coat
pocket, keeping her mouth firmly shut, even as his hands and mouth pawed at her. Somehow the image of her college boyfriend kept the bad thoughts at bay. For now.

When she pushed Xander away, he had a self satisfied smirk on his
face. “I knew it,” Xander grinned.
She loves it. The slut.
Buffy had to restrain herself from scratching out his eyes. And
then he turned and disappeared through a wood paneled side door.

Buffy spat. And spat again. She wiped her mouth with the back of her
hand, gathered her purse and ran like hell. She ran down the steps,
through the now empty ballroom and straight into a firefighter who
guided her towards the milling crowd.

“Buffy!!!!!!!!” Spike yelled, from behind her. He was just now exiting
the house, she realized. He had stayed behind to look for her. Her
heart warmed.

“Let’s go home,” she whispered, when he drew her into his arms.
“False alarm everybody!!!!!!!!!!!” yelled a large blonde fireman,
wiping his brow. “Fucking rich people,” he muttered to a brown haired
colleague who just shrugged.

When she reached home, she locked herself in the bathroom and drew out
the phone and wiped her entire gallery of photographs clean. And then
she dialled the number she had texted.

“You allright B?” Faith said breathlessly.

“Yeah,” Buffy said.

I’m not allright. I’m scared out of my mind.

“No sweat. I always wanted to yell fire at a rich person’s place. Too
bad I wasn’t really there. Would have liked to see it ya know. All those wall street scumbags scurrying around.”

“How did you?” asked Buffy.

“I’ve dated a whole lotta firemen,” Faith said, checking her nails.

“Got their numbers on speed dial. Called it in. Everybody in this
crummy town knows the Hart estate.”

“Faith,” Buffy said.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Faith replied, her voice hard as nails. “Let’s put the son
of a bitch down.”
Chapter End Notes:
Review please. Coming up next, Buffy goes to therapy and Faith plots Xander's downfall....
Chapter 8 by shithappens
“So,” Tara said, fixing her client with a gentle smile.

“I…..” Buffy stuttered. “I don’t know where to start.”

“At the beginning usually works for me,” Tara grinned.

Buffy laughed. She really laughed. And then she caught herself, which made Tara frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“I haven’t…….I haven’t……laughed….”

Tara said nothing, she just looked at her client kindly. The question was obvious. Why?

“Isn’t there supposed to be a couch or something?” Buffy said, trying to lighten the mood, looking around Tara’s dusty office.

“It’s in the back. I also have a wooden pipe and a monocle,” Tara replied cheekily.

The grins faded after a few moments.

“Buffy……..” Tara said. “Whatever you say here is between us. Just us.”

“Just us?” Buffy whispered.

Tara nodded. “It’s a sacred trust. I’m here to help.”

“Okay,” Buffy said swallowing. “Okay. I…..”

Tara waited, keeping her hands on her knees, biding her time.
“I was raped,” Buffy whispered, exhaling.

Despite herself, Tara found her knuckles clenching until they turned white.

“I’m sorry,” Tara said, resisting the urge to reach across and touch Buffy’s hand or her shoulder. The blonde had wrapped her arms around herself protectively. She didn’t want to be touched right now.

“Buffy,” Tara said gently. “You know this wasn’t your fault. Right?”

Buffy’s lips trembled. Her eyes watered.

“It. Wasn’t. Your. Fault,” Tara emphasized.

Buffy exhaled, trying to hold it in.

I….should have said no. I couldn’t say no. He forced himself on me. I told him he could. I should have fought back. I couldn’t fight back.

“Recently?” Tara asked. Buffy nodded.

“It’s okay,” Tara said, “we don’t have to talk about it today.”

She needs a rape counselor.

“I….I want to,” Buffy said determindly, surprising Tara. “I need to. I want……I need….it gone. Out of me.”

“It’s……gonna take some time,” Tara said, brushing her hair back. “And work.”

And then she waited until Buffy began to talk. Her husband was out of town. He came over. His disgusting proposal. Talking to her husband on the phone. Making the decision. And despite her professionalism, Tara found herself spellbound. And sick to her stomach.

“And then?” Tara said, dreading what came next.

“He……made me….dress up for him,” Buffy said, a disgusted look on her face. “Like some fucking whore. Like I wasn’t a real person. And then……”

Tara’s waited.

“But it wasn’t……….enough. He…..he made me……pretend…..that …..I……wanted”

“Pretend you wanted him?” Tara whispered, utterly shocked inside, but trying to project an air of professional calm.

My god. This guy’s a psychopath.

“He made me……do things..” Buffy said, as a tear flowed down her face.
Tara didn’t ask. But Buffy answered.

Buffy dabbed at her eyes with her palm. “Things I’d never. Things I wouldn’t…….And I just…..let him. How could I just let him…….why didn’t I fight back”

“He threatened you,” Tara reasoned, “Buffy he could have killed you. The most important thing is that you survived.”

Buffy shut her eyes, squeezed them tight.

“He made me say yes,” Buffy said, tucking her chin into her chest, tears streaming down her face. “Before…..and then….when he was…....every time we…..”

“Buffy I’m so sorry,” Tara said, aching to reach out and touch her shoulder. “That wasn’t real. You know that wasn’t real.”

“He made me tell him….. that I loved….loved it…..loved him”

“But you didn’t,” Tara said reassuringly. “Not inside.”

“I can hear myself,” Buffy said harshly, “hear myself saying….…. these things…..to that….bastard.”

“That was for him,” Tara said, quietly. “To make him believe it was real…….”

And maybe to make you believe it too. To make you feel this way. The sick fuck.

“I feel…..god,” Buffy said, trying to master herself. “Ashamed. Angry. God I’m so angry.”

“Sweetie, it’s okay to be angry,” Tara soothed. “I’m not going to tell you how to feel, but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing to feel guilty about.”

“When does it stop?” Buffy mumbled, shaking her head. “The pain.”

“With time,” Tara sighed. “Talking about it is just the first step.”

“Have you…..told anyone?” Tara asked carefully.
Your husband? The cops?

Buffy shook her head. “I can’t. My husband would…..he’d kill him.”

The look in Buffy’s eyes assured Tara of the fact that she wasn’t exaggerating.

“And I can’t tell the cops. He has……this power over me. Over my life.”

“You should see a lawyer,” Tara urged. “Just……talk to one. You can’t let him do this to you.”

“I will,” Buffy lied. “I’ll see a lawyer. I promise. But right now….I just needed to tell someone.”

“Thank you,” Buffy said. “For talking to me. It….helps.”

Tara tried to give Buffy a soothing smile. She just wished she could do more.

“How about some coffee and doughnuts?” Tara suggested eagerly.

“Sure,” Buffy replied, giving her a weak smile.

“I’ll be right back,” Tara said, rising from her desk. “Okay sweetie.”

Buffy nodded, reaching for the tissues on Tara’s desk.

When Tara returned, she found her office empty. On her chair was an envelope filled with 200 dollars and a note.

Thank You.

“You’re welcome,” Tara whispered sadly, running a finger over the envelope.

Xander lay back in his office chair, idly toying with his pen. He gazed across the hall into the conference room as Spike, seated at the mahogany, engaging with the senior partners of Wolfram and Hart.
His father in law seemed to be looking on with pleasure, he noted, his eyes narrowing just a little. And then he let out a dismissive pfft inside his head. He golfed with the senior partners every weekend.

I’m married to his only daughter. Soon the old man will be gone and that chair will be mine. My sweet Ahn will make sure of it.
And with that he pressed a button that closed his office curtains and locked the door to give him privacy. He put aside thoughts of his wife and work and focused on the woman he truly loved.

“Buffy,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

She kissed me, he thought grinning. I knew she wanted it. I knew it. She’s just guilty about being married.

He pictured her lying on her stomach, her perky pink ass high in the air. Then he was taking her from behind with short, hard jabs as she moaned his name.

“Yeah,” he rasped, stroking himself. But somehow it wasn’t enough. Something was missing. He took a moment, and then thought about Spike walking in on them. He grinned when he pictured the shock and hurt on the face of the bleached idiot.

And then Buffy was craning her head to look at him, a wicked smile on her face. She took his hands from her hips and placed them on her breasts.

“Don’t stop,” she begged, squeezing his hands over her breasts. And then Xander winked at Spike as he began thrusting his hips again. And Bleachboy just stood frozen, unable to do anything but watch.

“Yes,” Xander hissed.

He has to know. I need him to know.

When Xander stepped out of his executive restroom after a shower and a change of clothes his eyes fell upon a woman casually looking around the office.
He took in the spectacular hourglass figure, emphasized by a tight blue outfit that ended an inch below her panties. His eyes trailed down her finely shaped legs that ended in four inch heels.

“Hello,” Xander said, affecting a pleasant voice.

“Mr Harris?” the woman said, in a deep throaty voice, turning to look at him.

Nice, Xander thought, running his eyes over the curvy brunette.
“That’s my father,” Xander chuckled, bringing a half smile to the stranger. “I’m just Xander. And you are?”

“I’m Faith,” the brunette replied, “your new secretary.”

And I’m going to end you.
Chapter End Notes:
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