Reviewer: Anonymous
Date: 05/18/2009 - 12:18 am
Title: Chapter 10
a very good story. just has to be proof read better.
Reviewer: sazzy
Anonymous
Date: 07/06/2007 - 09:38 am
Title: Chapter 10
Pretty good :)
Author's Response: Thanks.
Reviewer: astrodex
Anonymous
Date: 03/29/2007 - 06:50 am
Title: Chapter 1
I had to stop reading this. The grammatical errors are too distracting.
Hearing the doorbell she goes down to open it.
Buffy opened the door slowly, and found William standing there, mouth gaped open.
These two sentences have two diffferent verb tenses. You switch back and forth so often I just couldn't keep reading. Please take everyone's advice and get a beta. I'd love to read the story if you repost.
Author's Response:
Reviewer: kylie
Anonymous
Date: 03/28/2007 - 09:26 pm
Title: Chapter 10
Oh Please..as if?????????
Author's Response:
Reviewer: Marguerita
Anonymous
Date: 02/12/2007 - 06:03 pm
Title: Chapter 9
Great update by the way.
Also, about your authors note - I think that might be a bit of something you could look into, even thought its not totally relevant to the story you could still include things like that. Its the sort of thing that fleshes out a story and makes it more interesting, gives more background etc... You'll find the really great writers are ones that can seamlessly tell a story with dialogue, explanations, descriptions etc.. all with a good flow.
Glad to see where the mommy kissing Santa comes in. Hope you update soon.
Author's Response: It thought of adding it in the story but it was also something they were talking about how Wesley told his family his girlfriend was coming and they didn't know he had one and Fred mentioned it to Buffy once in there talking. So that is why I decided to put it in the AN: Thanks theres only one more chapter left.
Reviewer: squawks
Anonymous
Date: 02/12/2007 - 05:47 pm
Title: Chapter 9
Oh I hope Chelsea and Abby get a new little brother or sister soon! Good update : )
Author's Response: You will just have to wait and see, last chapter should be by the end of the week, I hope real life can be a pain.
Reviewer: sunny
Anonymous
Date: 02/06/2007 - 07:29 am
Title: Chapter 8
This story SUCKS!!! Get it off:(
Author's Response:
Author's Response: Just because you tell me to get off if it doesn't mean I am going to listen, Just don't read it, if you don't like it.
Reviewer: lolitta
Anonymous
Date: 02/06/2007 - 07:22 am
Title: Chapter 8
That is the most un emotional birth I have ever read...It was sterile...whats the italics all over the place and the SHOCKING grammar.......I just stumbled onto this story and I dont normally review,my bad,however I could not help myself...is english your second language?...there is absolutely no passion or emotion to your writing, sorry but its bloody awful!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response:
Reviewer: squawks
Anonymous
Date: 01/31/2007 - 04:55 pm
Title: Chapter 7
lol - love Dr Lorne Greenhorns name hehe. Great update can't wait to see the next chapter
Author's Response: Thanks, I wanted Lorne to be the doctor and need a last name, so I put one together. He was green and had to red horns.
Reviewer: boffybot
Anonymous
Date: 01/25/2007 - 07:32 am
Title: Chapter 3
give it up till you' get ' grammer.
Author's Response:
Reviewer: daydreamer
Anonymous
Date: 01/24/2007 - 09:29 pm
Title: Chapter 6
good update
Author's Response: Thanks
Reviewer: squawks
Anonymous
Date: 01/24/2007 - 09:07 pm
Title: Chapter 6
cute story! its going really well so far. i hope she gets pregnant he seems so sweet!
Author's Response: Thanks, I guess you will have to wait and see.
Reviewer: daydreamer
Anonymous
Date: 01/17/2007 - 12:17 am
Title: Chapter 5
good update
Author's Response: Thanks.
Reviewer: secretguest
Anonymous
Date: 01/03/2007 - 04:10 pm
Title: Chapter 4
Abby's a funny little girl! Update soon please!
Author's Response: Thanks.
Reviewer: daydreamer
Anonymous
Date: 01/03/2007 - 04:09 pm
Title: Chapter 4
good chapter
Author's Response: Thanks.
Reviewer: SarahandJamesFanatic
Anonymous
Date: 12/21/2006 - 01:22 pm
Title: Chapter 3
good update
Author's Response: Thanks.
Reviewer: Karbear57 Signed
Date: 12/21/2006 - 07:51 am
Title: Chapter 1
Interesting story, but it needs a human beta reader to clean up some things a software AI cannot catch. We all use the MS Word spell/grammar checker with other software packages to check for obvious things, however, stories also need a human beta (not the author) to make sure the sentences and actual content flow. It would help tremendously, trust me.
Contact me (karbear57@yahoo.com) in January if you have not found a beta. I am willing to step up and help
Author's Response: Thanks I will, if I haven't found anyone.
Reviewer: hey
Anonymous
Date: 12/20/2006 - 12:29 am
Title: Chapter 1
THIS STORY SUX!
Author's Response:
Reviewer: turnedbyspike Signed
Date: 12/20/2006 - 12:19 am
Title: Chapter 2
ooh, sexy santa fun :-) very nice chapter, loved it!
Author's Response: Thanks
Reviewer: daydreamer
Anonymous
Date: 12/19/2006 - 01:24 pm
Title: Chapter 2
good chapter
Author's Response: Thanks
Reviewer: secretguest
Anonymous
Date: 12/19/2006 - 12:18 pm
Title: Chapter 2
Uh oh...I hope they wake up first! Update soon please!
Author's Response: Thanks
Reviewer: SarahandJamesFanatic
Anonymous
Date: 12/19/2006 - 10:02 am
Title: Chapter 2
good update
Author's Response: Thanks
Reviewer: Sevvy
Anonymous
Date: 12/15/2006 - 12:52 pm
Title: Chapter 1
When someone says that you need a beta, they mean that you should probably send your chapters to a friend to read over for errors before you post updates. A computer program (like your husband's program that you keep mentioning in responses) can't fix things like they're/their/there or it's/its or things like that, because those aren't spelling errors, they are grammar errors. You have a lot of regular readers for your other stories so I'm sure one of them could help you if you ask. =)
Author's Response: Thanks, I have never thought about asking anyone fromhere for help not even sure if I would manage to get anyone to help.
Reviewer: jeanie
Anonymous
Date: 12/13/2006 - 06:58 pm
Title: Chapter 1
ok good start, but get a beta
5 hours later they were back up in there room. should be their room.
I guess there going all out this year. should be they're a contraction of they are.
sorry but almost every instance there was used it was used incorrectly. it is a pet peeve of mine, makes the story hard to read. tis a good start just correct the mistakes.
Author's Response: I guess it should be their, but my husbands beta word would not allow that one I will have to re look at it, I posted it quicky as we kept lossing power yesterday.
Reviewer: lacey
Anonymous
Date: 12/13/2006 - 06:49 pm
Title: Chapter 1
um, okay, i had to stop reading. this is too weird and confusing for me. i was expecting something nice and sweet by your summary, but i'm not getting that. they seem slutty to me to be doing that and with an audience. it's like they're porn stars or something. i don't really understand the job. i would also suggest that you get a beta. there are too many errors and that tends to also be distracting for the readers. sorry if i was rude, just being honest.
Author's Response: next chapter will be more to do with the story.
