Hi.

Like I promised (a long time ago... I know) here is my review. I don't even know if I should I live one, I mean, is it ethically correct?

Anyway, I always had a problem with yhis story, since the begining.
It's ...beautifully disturbing, very emotional. My first thought was, I can't work on this, it's revolting. Then I tried to push my own thoghts aside and do my best about it.

You did a great job on it. And I'll be waiting for the sequel with Angel as a Big Pile of Dust.

Huggs****

Susy

Author's Response: lol. the sequel has been completed. just not typed or edited yet. Dont worry, there will be one.

oh I loved it, more please.

Author's Response: sequel is in the works.

The beginning definately woke my curiosity. I just feel that Buffy's reaction to the rape seems awfully mild. Maybe if you described her emotions and behaviour a little more precisely it would also waken more emotions in the reader (well, in this case, me :)). Please, update soon. Interested to see how this develops.

Author's Response: I know she seems.... like it didnt matter. But when the sequel comes out, it'll all make sense. dont worry.

Really enjoying your story...however, it seems you leave some pertinent details out, that would, no pun intended, flesh the story out a bit....such as: HOW did Angel catch/trap Dawn & Buffy? And Where? What did Angel DO to Buffy to make her powerless? Probably, per other fics & eps, used the muscle relaxant like Giles did for her Cruciamentum, or something similar, and magickally enhanced chains...However, you leave that totally out. Frankly, tho' rape is totally traumatic, even often to the reader, having been more descriptive, including more details would have improved the impact of the story. Ditto on the attack, the torture & surely Angelus would even have used suspense, deprivation & sensory deprivation, verbal attacks & abuse, and would have taunted & verbally abused Buffy due to her relationship w/Spike---smelling him all over her.
You hint at internal damage to Buffy, such as possible vaginal/uterine damage, but you don't specify or follow that up---is it permanent?
I think you let Buffy recover/deal with the rape & torture incredibly too quickly. How long did Angelus have them captive? His MO was not something slow or quick; rather, torturously (pardon the pun) drawn out, slow, planned to a "T", "Artistry" in his mind...also, his rages should possibly be taken into account---surely he would rage at Spike's scent.
As to Dawn, she should be a nutcase pretty much...and Spike's feelings should be all over the chart, comparing what Angelus did to Dru with what he did to the Bit; worrying that his Niblet will end up mentally ill or permanently unbalanced due to the torturous experience.
I really liked your story concept, however. It was not what I expected when I read the summary. Glad to've read it, though! Please don't take these suggestions & critiques in a negative way, either!
Oh, and to wrap up my rant, it just seems as if the story just stopped (this is the 2d fic I've read of yours that seems to just stop---whammo!---like this), unfinished; it's like hearing a song cut off before the end of it is finished playing....it seems you just stopped, and it feels like you should continue with more chapters to this tale to RESOLVE the rest of this story. You whet our whistle, touched lightly on the emotions, but didn't delve into the meat and resolution of the tale. Please consider doing so---continuing with more chapters----so we can see what happens, hopefully see characters heal & truly deal, possibly see justice, and feel the flow of the story as it truly plays out.
Hope it helps, enjoyed it, will look for more!
(BTW, years ago I was a nurse on call for a rape crisis center)
Thanks,
~~K.~~
fyreburned@yahoo.com

Author's Response: there will a be a sequl where lots of things will come out. so be on the look out