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Author's Corner

Reviewer: cordykitten Signed Date: 05/05/2009 - 04:49 pm Title: Drunken confessions

I wondered too if Spike would remember their talk because he was drunk. Better to do it sober.
I really hope they can work it out. So much lost time.

Reviewer: Pam S Anonymous Date: 05/05/2009 - 07:18 am Title: Drunken confessions


Waiting to see what happens next...

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 05/05/2009 - 03:26 am Title: Drunken confessions

Just wanted to say sorry for my spelling mistakes and such. I'm a little sleepy and made a ton of mistakes in my post. For example, I think I used the word "no" instead of the word "know". Sorry. I hope you understand why I'm trying to say.

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 05/05/2009 - 03:01 am Title: Drunken confessions

Thanks for trying to make me feel better about this story. You didn't hurt my feelings. Not exactly at least. But I do know what it is like to have your best friend of many years just throw you away like you are some piece of trash. Completely shut you out of their life after being best friends for years. It is a different situation from this story. But the result is the same. You feel hurt and betrayed big time by this one person you thought you could always count on. That you thought was going to be there for the rest of your life. So, this is could be why I had no love for Buffy at all in this story. Yeah, I kind of hate Buffy in this story. I don't see how Spike could still be in love with her. He deserves someone better. Cause what she did to Spike is I think unforgivable. Yes, everybody makes mistakes. There is no doubt about that. But some mistakes are just not something you can forgive or maybe you can forgive. But the relationship is never going to be the same again. Never. As for Spike not thinking that everything was going to change after the slept together. let us now forget that he was drunk. When you are drunk you are thinking clearly. he managed to stop himself one time and tell Buffy that he didn't want to take advantage of her. That is when Buffy should have stopped herself as well. But in the moment of weakness. She didn't. And she paid the consequences for it. You are weak and you make a mistake. You pay the consequences for it. I would tell the person that I am in love with him even if I was already rejected by him. In fact, I have been in that situation. You know why a person should always tell a person that they love them. Is because then you can no for sure that you did everything you could to show and tell this person that you love them. If they still don't want you or not in love with you. At least you know. So, just because Buffy didn't want to be rejected again. She kept it to herself. Which was a big mistake. You say that Buffy wanted Spike to wake up and that is why she was cruel to him about how she spoke about Dru and that she was using him. I still don't see it. There could have been a better way they being cruel. All I saw was someone who was hurt and angry and just had to hurt that person back. Even if isn't their fault. Buffy could have told Spike in a better way if she really cared about him. Now, I understand about Buffy needing space. Of course you need space from someone you think doesn't feel the same way back. but she did it wrong. Very wrong. First, she didn't try talking to Spike at all. You have to talk to the person you are upset about before you just up and leave. It is the grown up thing to do. It is the right thing to do. So, she leaves and gets some space from Spike. But I think she was very wrong to shut him out completely. Making sure he couldn't contact her. How hurtful must have that been for Spike. I know. I have been there. it hurts like hell. You feel hurt and betrayed in the most awful way. She shut him for four years and possibly longer if it wasn't for her mother passing away and her having to come back. Spike probably thinking about her and wishing that they would have talked before she left. Spike hoping that maybe one day she will call him. But nothing. She just threw him away like some piece of trash. And yet, Spike was the one who went to her. Spike is the one who said they needed to talk. and then Buffy has the nerve to say that she doesn't trust him. She doesn't trust spike. What right does she have to say that. I just want to hit her. Spike shouldn't trust her. She threw Spike away. It does get to me that Spike is being the one who went to her first and trying to make it work. But that just shows how big of a heart Spike has. I don't see this Buffy loving or caring for Spike at all. Saying is one thing but show it is another. To me this Buffy doesn't show that she loves Spike. Spike deserves better than Buffy. That is why I hate this Buffy. That is why it may seem personal. Cause I have been there before. My best friend just threw me away after many years of being friends. That hurt is deep and betrayal is deep. Very deep.

Author's Response: I know how it feels to have a friend betray you, i had a best friend of 12 years at the time and we found ourselves in a simulier situation (not sleeping together but the end result was the same) due to miscommunication and misunderstandings we walked away from each other and after a huge fight it end with one of use hopping on the first greyhound out of town. It took us two years to talk again and realise we had mixed things up, i think that's why i enjoy writing this fic so much cause i understand both parties but i think this is very personal for you. I hope you'll keep reading.

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 05/05/2009 - 01:27 am Title: Drunken confessions

I just reread the whole story. Just to see if I found any fault or blame on Spike that I might have missed before. I still don't think Spike did anything wrong at all. In the beginning Spike was drunk and hurt that Dru dumped him. But I don't Spike is blame one bit for their situation right now. Here are my reasons why.......

1. Spike was the one who told Buffy they should stop because he didn't want to take advantage of her from what happened with Parker. But Buffy still wanted to sleep with him.

2. Spike never told Buffy that they were going to be in a relationship. He never promised Buffy anything. Spike probably thought that they were both having comfort sex form what happened with their exes.

3. Buffy knowing that she was in love with Spike. Should have made sure that Spike wanted more than a one night stand from her. That Spike wanted a relationship with her. You are the one responsible for who you sleep with. You have to take care of your heart the best you can. Sleeping with the guy you are in love with without knowing if he wants more can lead to major heart ache. But that isn't the guy fault it is yours for not knowing if he wanted more.

4. This is a major reason. Buffy couldn't be honest with Spike. How is Spike suppose to know what Buffy is feeling. Buffy tells Spike that it was just a mistake. Spike thinks she is being honest and hasn't quite realized how he feels for Buffy. Buffy should have been honest with Spike since the start. You always have to be honest with your feelings. You can't expect the other person to know.

5. Buffy hurt Spike because she was hurting and kind of upset with him because he didn't return her feelings and should know how she feels. Yeah Buffy, blame Spike for not being honest. What she said about Dru may have been true. She did it in a cruel way because she wanted to hurt Spike because she was hurting. It isn't Spike's fault that she was hurting. Which makes Buffy a bitch. I don't blame Spike for what he said in return. Cause Buffy was being cruel and a bitch. She had it coming.

6. Buffy runs away without still telling Spike how she feels. She runs away because she is pathetic and a scared little girl who can't be honest with the man that she is in love with. Her best friend all these years. The grown up thing to do is to talk through your issues. Not run away from you issues. What a coward Buffy is.

7. Buffy makes sure that Spike had no way of contacting her. So, if Spike wanted to talk to her and save their friendship. He couldn't. Which tells me that Buffy didn't really care for Spike or their friendship at all. Anybody who throws away their friendship like that is just a heartless person. One thing is running away and not seeing him anymore. Another thing all together is making sure he can't contact you anymore. And just throwing him away. And that is what she did. She threw Spike away. Which if I was Spike I would feel so hurt and betrayed. That I can understand why he still wants to be with her.

I think those are all the reasons I can think of. Now, Buffy seems to putting the blame mostly on Spike. That Spike is the reason why their friendship ended. Which that is not the case. Spike isn't to blame at all. The only thing that he might have done a little wrong. Is not talking to Buffy much after they slept together. But Buffy was the same way. She didn't speak to Spike much either. And it is understandable cause Spike might have been confuse and just needed a little space from Buffy to think clearly. But if Buffy was upset about that. The grown up thing to do isn't to run away from your problems. It is to talk them out. Which I am sure if she told that she needed to talk. Then Spike would have spoken to her. So, again Buffy needs to be honest with her feelings and not run away. Now, Spike is the one trying to become friends again. Spike is the one who says they needed to talk. I bet if Spike didn't, Buffy never would have told Spike they needed to talk. She would probably be that same scared pathetic little girl and completely ignored Spike and go back to New York or whatever. So, I think Spike is too good for Buffy. But I'm a Spuffy fan and this is a Spuffy story. I know Spike and Buffy are going to get together. But I just hope that Spike has a little backbone and don't make it easy for Buffy. Spike should be like. You threw my friendship. You hurt and betrayed me. I should be the one who don't trust you. And makes her work for his friendship again. I also hope that he at least was still shagging someone or some women. But I do like the story. I just hate buffy and think Spike is too good for her. But i felt that way about the show sometimes. I hated for a little bit and wanted Spike to tell her off. I just wanted to reread to see if I missed where Spike was to blame. But I still have the same opinion and think Spike is not to blame. Not to blame at all. And if some people want to blame Spike for taking dru back. Which i don't why Spike should be blame for that. Then I guess blame him. But Spike is in no way to blame for Buffy sleeping with him. Spike is in way to blame that Buffy couldn't be honest with him. Spike is in no way to blame for Buffy running away. Spike is in no way to blame for Buffy making sure Spike had no way to contact her and throwing away their friendship after 14 years. Which is why Buffy should be the one to try to earn Spike's trust back. Buffy should be the one to try to be friends with him again. Spike didn't do anything wrong. All he did was take Dru back as stupid as that was. It isn't like he meant to hurt Buffy or anything. I hope Spike makes Buffy work hard to get back in and tells Buffy off because he was way too easy on her. At least I think so.

Author's Response: Okay i'm going to try a respond in the best way i can cause i feel like i have is some way hurt you with how i made Buffy it this fic, like its in some way personal for you. I do try and keep the characters in my fics as close to the show as possible and lets face is Buffy can be a bitch and is they last person to admit they are wrong mostly when it comes to Spike and Spike is always willing to take the blame because he loves her. Buffy is to blame in part she should have made what she wanted from Spike clear but in saying that after being clearly rejected by the one you love how many of us would actually admit to them that you are in love with them? Not many of us cause we would be to afraid of being hurt again, yes Spike tried to stop it before it started Buffy should have listened, she was acting on impulse, the heat of the moment and years of lust but in saying that Spike couldn't really think that he could have a one night stand wit his best friend, take her virginity and expect things between them to remine the same cause anyone who really believes that nothing would change is simply kiding themselves. What Buffy said to Spike the night she left was hurtful and cruel and she in part said it to hurt him but she also did it so he would wake up to himself about Dru and how she was using him. Running off wasn't the best thing for her to do but she needed time away from him and while 4 years may have been to long and cutting him off was just mean she was acting apon her fight or flight responce and made a mistake as we all do. Anyway i hope this helps a bit, sorry if you are offended in anyway by how i have written this Buffy but this is how i wanted my story to go, i hope you'll keep reading.

Reviewer: hhh569 Anonymous Date: 05/05/2009 - 12:40 am Title: Drunken confessions

welcome back. Its nice that they are going to try to be friends again. Hopefully he will give her some breathing run and not crowd her.

Reviewer: demona424 Anonymous Date: 05/05/2009 - 12:12 am Title: Drunken confessions

I'm dying to know why the heck he got back with Dru right after sleeping with Buffy! That was so heartbreaking, no wonder she ran away. And then the fight, don't blame Buffy at all. Can't wait to learn about the mystery that is Spike! Find out what was going on in his head and hopefully get to some more Spuffy lovin. :-) Can't wait for more!

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 05/05/2009 - 12:01 am Title: Drunken confessions

Well, reading your explanation about trying to keep Buffy and Spike alike to the characters from the show. Then I guess I can understand why Spike is all with the major i blame myself and Buffy is like i may have done a little wrong but Spike is mostly to blame thinking. When she is the one who threw away their friendship after 14 years so she is to blame for then no longer being friends not Spike. Just like Buffy on the show. Always blaming Spike when it she should have been blaming herself. I hated Buffy on the show for a period there too. But at the same time it is nice to see Spike with a little backbone. And let Buffy have it and telling her that he is nobody's punching bag and he doesn't deserve this shit from her. LOL Thanks for your explanation even if it doesn't make me hate Buffy any less.

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 05/04/2009 - 11:04 pm Title: Drunken confessions

I meant that I hate Buffy a little more. Not the story. I hate Buffy a little more with each chapter. Yes, you made Buffy feel a little guilty. But with Spike you make it seem like he did the major wrong. And Spike feels so guilty even when it was Buffy who left and shut him out of her life. Buffy doesn't seem she feels that bad at all for that. Just a little bad while Spike feels so bad. That is why I don't think Buffy feels that bad or anything. She doesn't trust him. On what ground does she have the right to say that she doesn't trust him. On what ground does she have the right. Spike has plenty right to not trust her. Since she just threw away their friendship after 14 years. What a heartless Buffy is. I can't her in this story and i hope Spike lets her have good for what she did.

Author's Response: Ah ok i thought u meant the story lol, Buffy does feel bad but i always felt with the actual show that Spike always felt responsible even when he wasn't and i try to keep my characters as close to the show as possible. Buffy always blames Spike in the show even if she is to blame.

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 05/04/2009 - 10:32 pm Title: Drunken confessions

Exactly AMI. Well, I don't think Spike made any mistakes at all just Buffy. Really huge freaking mistakes Buffy made. But if he did it was a little mistake as in staying away from Buffy for a little bit that week or so. Which is very understandable considering that they both have a lot on their mind and didn't know how to handle the consequences of sleeping together. But I see no reason why Buffy doesn't trust Spike. Spike shouldn't trust Buffy because of her leaving and completely shutting him out of her life. She left and she hurt him before she left. Saying that stuff about Dru. Which might have been true but she didn't have to say the she did. She lashed out at Spike because she was hurting. Which wasn't Spike's fault. There isn't one thing that I have liked from this Buffy. Not one thing that I have liked from her. Every chapter I read. I hate just a little more. This chapter was her making Spike couldn't contact her. Spike is too good for Buffy. It gets to me that Spike is acting like he is to blame and he is the one who should earn her trust back. I hope that Spike ends up telling Buffy in a coming chapter. She deserves it in such a bad way.

Author's Response: While i appreciate the reviews i think maybe if you as you put it "Every chapter I read. I hate just a little more" if you hate to story so much maybe you should stop reading.

Reviewer: AMI Anonymous Date: 05/04/2009 - 10:03 pm Title: Drunken confessions

Thank God they're finally TALKING. It's about time. And at least they both apologized. They both made mistakes.Not just Spike. She left without letting him know her address, her phone number or her email. And she was never honest about her real feelings. I can see she doesn't trust him but she was not too trustworthy either,IMO. Hopefully now they can start to work things out.

More soon please, can't wait to see what happens next.=)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review more soon i promise :)

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 05/04/2009 - 09:52 pm Title: Drunken confessions

Oh, and I think Spike was too easy on Buffy. I was hoping that Spike would Buffy have it. Let her have it for just leaving and making sure he didn't have a way of contacting her. Spike looks like he spent the last four years being miserable because of Buffy. While Buffy looks like she didn't have a hard time moving on at all. And Buffy was the one hurt Spike so much. Imagine your best friend in the world just up and leaving and talking to you anymore for no good reason. I know how that feels. Spike is feeling he should have been honest with Buffy. No, Buffy should have been honest with Spike right after they slept together. Spike did really realize that he was in love with Buffy until she left or until she was leaving. So, if Buffy was only honest in the first place. This would never have happened. So, I hate Buffy for leaving and hurting Spike so bad. I hate Buffy for not being honest with Spike. I hate Buffy because she made sure he couldn't contact her. What a heartless bitch. I hate Buffy because she makes it seem like he was the one who hurt her on purpose and not she can't trust him. When Spike didn't mean to hurt her and it isn't fault that Buffy got hurt because she couldn't be honest. Spike should be the one who cant trust Buffy. buffy was his best friend and just left him without a trace. I hope that Spike does tell Buffy off in this story because he has earned it and she deserves it.

Author's Response: I tried to make it clear in the chapter that both Buffy and Spike are feeling sorry and guilty for what happen, they both feel they are to blame, i thought i had made that pretty clear. Buffy acted badly after their fight but Spike acted badly after sleeping with her so i feel they are both to blame. Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 05/04/2009 - 09:35 pm Title: Drunken confessions

I think Buffy what in the wrong here and not Spike. I hate that you just have Spike as thinking he did wrong and trying to earn back her trust and Buffy really doesn't feel like she did wrong. If anything Buffy should be the one who earns his trust. But now Spike shows up drunk acting like a jealous guy. He is the one going after Buffy. He is the one who said he was sorry first. He is the one who thinks he has to earn back her trust. When Buffy is the one who just left him. They were best friends. And she pissing me off more when she makes sure that Spike has no way of contacting her. What a heartless bitch she is. I don't see how this Buffy can care for love Spike at all. I honestly think that this Spike is too good for this weak and pathetic Buffy. I think she should stay with Angel and Spike deserves someone who can be honest and doesn't run away from her problems. I hope that Spike was at least getting some good sex while Buffy was away. I mean if Buffy was having sex with Angel then I hope Spike was getting some too from someone. Maybe Cordy. Or I don't know. I will continue to read even if a part of me can't stand this Buffy and thinks that Spike deserves someone so much better.
So, that is what I think since you asked.

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: DarkBlue Signed Date: 04/25/2009 - 04:51 pm Title: Saying Goodbye.

I've just started this story, however I'm loving it so far. I look forward to reading more of this.

Author's Response: Glad you are liking it, thanks for reading and reviewing.

Reviewer: von Signed Date: 04/10/2009 - 09:23 am Title: Break me softly.

Brilliant storyline please add more chapters

Reviewer: mscotstar Signed Date: 03/31/2009 - 05:25 am Title: Saying Goodbye.

Another fabulous chapter. Really loving this story... Buffy * Tut Tut * her character is starting to sound a lot like Dru .

Buffy, stranger and an alley. Doesn't sound like the Buffy from chapter one. Maybe the changes were unconciously for Spike. Hair, clothes...etc. He loved Dru who was the total opposite of Buffy . Poor Spike, he just wants the geek back..:) Please update soon...Please.....

Author's Response: Yeah i wanted to show how she had changed but that she also isn't thinking clearly, she mixed up about her mum's death and her feelings for Spike so she acted stupid and did something she normally wouldn't do.

Reviewer: mscotstar Signed Date: 03/31/2009 - 01:17 am Title: Break me softly.

OMG.... I loved this first chapter. So sad, but very beautiful. Loving the storyline so far.

Reviewer: cordykitten Signed Date: 03/27/2009 - 05:11 pm Title: Saying Goodbye.

Unexpected to see Angel there now.
But I'm glad about the advice he gave Buffy.
Drinking won't help Spike though

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 03/26/2009 - 11:28 pm Title: Saying Goodbye.

Posted my comment before I was finished. Just wanted to say that I don't care for this Buffy much as you can tell. LOL She slept with Spike and expected more. But Spike didn't promise her relationship. She got hurt that was her fault. Then she wasn't honest with Spike because she is a scared little girl. That is what I see her as a little girl. She hurt Spike because she was hurting. She was a bitch to him and ran away. Spike has been her best friend for how many years. I will take it that she probably is the one who stop communicating with him. How much do you think that would have hurt Spike. That his best friend left and stop communicating with him. Buffy just threw away their friendship because she was too weak to be honest with her feelings. And that is why I'm so pissed off at Buffy. She threw away their friendship because she couldn't be honest. It has happen to me before. Different situation as this one though. But my best friend threw away my friendship because they were weak. That is all it is. Which is why my sympathy in this goes to Spike. I really could care less if Spike ends up with this Buffy. But I will continue to read. At least for now. But if I all I read is Spike blaming himself and feeling jealous. I will be disappointed with the story and I might have to stop.

Author's Response: Well if you have to stop then you have to stop but i think they are as much to blame as each other.

Reviewer: Katie Anonymous Date: 03/26/2009 - 11:14 pm Title: Saying Goodbye.


This is one of the best stories I've read in a while!!

Please Please Please I need more!!

Author's Response: lol more to come i promise:)

Reviewer: Anonymous Date: 03/26/2009 - 11:11 pm Title: Saying Goodbye.

Again, I will say it is Buffy's fault that she got hurt. BUFFY'S FAULT, not Spike. Spike even put a stop to it at first. Saying stuff like this.....

“You’re upset a-about Parker and I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that.”
“Buffy I think that we need to…”

But Buffy was having none of that. When she should have because she loves him. And you want to be clear that it is more than one night stand. You will up getting hurt if you don't. Guess what, She got hurt and took out her anger on Spike. She was a bitch and then ran away. She is so weak.

Spike doesn't deserve any of that from Buffy. I'm still a little upset that you make Spike feel guilty and not Buffy. Now, Spike is jealous of Angel and thinks that she has a boyfriend. You also have him drinking which can be bad. I just hope Spike doesn't have a drinking problem. I also hope that this kicking of Spike is also done.

I also wonder what Spike has been up to. We know a little bit of what Buffy's been up to. Moving to New York. Running an art place. Sleeping with Angel. I don't think I can sleep with someone for over a year and not develop any feelings. I think if you have sex with just one person long enough you are bond to develop feelings. I mean I could be wrong. I never slept with a person for a long time and didn't have romantic feelings for him from the start. Anyways, I'm just curious to see what Spike has been up to. Who are his friends and was he dating? Wait, I think I remember reading that he is an English teacher. I wish I had a teacher as hot as Spike. Is he still going to live with Giles? I would think that Spike would want his own place. I guess I have to read to see. I just hoping that kicking the Spike is done though.

Author's Response: I believe its both their faults, poor communication on both parts.

Reviewer: hhh569 Anonymous Date: 03/26/2009 - 06:28 pm Title: Saying Goodbye.

Well that what Spike gets. He should not expect Buffy to be pining after him.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review:)

Reviewer: AMI Anonymous Date: 03/26/2009 - 04:01 pm Title: Saying Goodbye.

Oh my, so many misunderstandings and miscommunication. They gotta talk honestly , but of course B has built a wall around herself and is quite cold. And now Spike is drinking and thinking Buffy is with Angel. And still she wants him and hates herself for it.

More soon please, it's so good.

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: nicky Anonymous Date: 03/26/2009 - 09:27 am Title: Saying Goodbye.

Really enjoying this one - update again soon.

Author's Response: thanks

Reviewer: spikesgrl43 Anonymous Date: 03/26/2009 - 09:19 am Title: Break me softly.

You've got me hooked. Really like the story.

Don't take this the wrong way but you might want to proof read a little more. There were several mistakes like check instead of cheek and chocking instead of choking. A couple of tense mistakes also.