Reviewer: amin
Anonymous
Date: 08/19/2011 - 07:47 pm
Title: Chapter One
still a bit open
Reviewer: ~*~Tasha~*~
Anonymous
Date: 11/22/2005 - 09:51 pm
Title: Chapter Eight
Awww ... so sweet. Glad to see an update of this one. Look forward to more.
Reviewer: ~*~Tasha~*~
Anonymous
Date: 10/19/2005 - 11:29 am
Title: Chapter Seven
Hmmm ... wonder what is going to happen next. Nice birthday gift, by the way. I loved that. Look forward to the next update.
Reviewer: Chelsea Signed
Date: 10/18/2005 - 09:12 pm
Title: Chapter Seven
Aww. You got a tear out of me with that one. Really, good for Buffy to finally just stand up to Xander. Awesome chapter and this is a really lovely story.
Reviewer: shelly
Anonymous
Date: 10/18/2005 - 09:05 pm
Title: Chapter Seven
YAY!
Reviewer: Chelsea Signed
Date: 10/18/2005 - 01:06 am
Title: Chapter Five and Six
Awesome. I hope Clem talked some sense into Spike! More soon please!
Reviewer: Cordykitten Signed
Date: 10/16/2005 - 10:55 am
Title: Chapter Five and Six
Well - super powers or not - Spike could easy stake that vamp.. so he was silly to run away indeed - I hope that Clem could talk some sense in him. :)
Reviewer: Cordykitten Signed
Date: 10/16/2005 - 10:45 am
Title: Chapter Four
Look there - it was Spike that became human! I wonder if he still have is adhanced vampire powers... *reading on*
Reviewer: Cordykitten Signed
Date: 10/16/2005 - 10:41 am
Title: Chapter Three
Well - seems as if without Buffy's and Willow's help she wouldn't have made it :)
Reviewer: Cordykitten Signed
Date: 10/16/2005 - 10:27 am
Title: Chapter One
Yep - first chapter was good.
Reviewer: ~*~Tasha~*~
Anonymous
Date: 10/15/2005 - 11:33 pm
Title: Chapter Five and Six
I loved Clem being the one to knock the sense into Spike. That was too funny. Look forward to the next update.
Reviewer: Chelsea Signed
Date: 10/12/2005 - 08:33 pm
Title: Chapter Four
Kewl. Spike got the Sanshu, which is good, but does he still have super human stength so he can help Buffy?
Reviewer: Lizzie
Anonymous
Date: 10/12/2005 - 01:27 am
Title: Chapter Four
I LOVE THIS STORY!!!! Do you share a mind with Joss Whedon????
Reviewer: ~*~Tasha~*~
Anonymous
Date: 10/11/2005 - 10:41 pm
Title: Chapter Four
Maybe not easy, but please don't hate us by giving us eternal angst since we got the happy part here. {Smiles} Good update.
Reviewer: Chelsea Signed
Date: 10/11/2005 - 09:46 am
Title: Chapter Three
LOL. Good chapter. The fight scene was okay, but I can't wait for Spuffy!
Reviewer: Chelsea Signed
Date: 10/11/2005 - 09:37 am
Title: Chapter One
Good start.
Reviewer: shelly
Anonymous
Date: 10/10/2005 - 09:40 pm
Title: Chapter Three
if only it were that easy! :)
Reviewer: BunnyGirl
Anonymous
Date: 10/10/2005 - 04:34 pm
Title: Chapter Three
I wasn't trying to give anyone grief. I was trying to give helpful advice that would make the story better and possibly attract more than a couple of readers. People on this site have a very skewed definition of what "fiction" means, and it's very frustrating for someone who cares about quality. I do think this fic shows a lot of promise, especially for your first one posted here, and that's why I tried to give advice. The internet is an easy resource for research, and it's clear that you have access to it. Making your story believable within the realm of fiction is important to many readers, and by doing so, you'll be able to attract a larger audience. I'm not just trying to lecture or be nitpicky, I'm trying to help you become a better writer because I think you show some promise. It's not a big deal to some people that's fine, but it would be a big deal to a lot of people for reasons I've already stated. That's why I said something. My suggestion would be to find a beta. You grammar and spelling is pretty good, but I've noticed some little errors here and there that a beta would catch. Also, a beta would be able to help you catch things like the *69 bit and help you come up with something else. Again, not trying to be mean, but helpful. I wouldn't take the time to write these long reviews if I didn't think you were a good beginning writer. You just need a little help polishing up a few things. Many of the writers on this site have betas, especially the really good ones, and I think you could benefit from one. Not because you're a bad writer by any means, but because you show potential and with help, you could get better. Your ideas are good as is your style, and with help, you could only improve. :)
Reviewer: ~*~Tasha~*~
Anonymous
Date: 10/10/2005 - 03:49 pm
Title: Chapter Three
{claps} Look forward to the next update. I know I responded once already, but that was before I read the chapter. I had just read the author's note about people giving you grief on the *69 thing. I wanted to send the encouragement to you right away. Good update!
Reviewer: ~*~Tasha~*~
Anonymous
Date: 10/10/2005 - 03:40 pm
Title: Chapter Three
Allana, don't let people get to you about the calling thing. Some people are very nitpicky no matter what you do. Yes, it can't be done in another country, but they should let it rest. This is fiction for crying out loud. When I write, I try to be accurate, but you can't be perfect on everything. Don't let it get you down or make you stop writing an enjoyable story to read for the rest of us. Great chapter, and I look forward to more.
Reviewer: BunnyGirl
Anonymous
Date: 10/09/2005 - 06:58 pm
Title: Chapter Two
Honestly, the *69 thing caught my attention, too. And it made me almost stop reading the fic. Why? Because something like that makes me doubt how good the fic is going to be. Makes the author look uniformed, and it just...stands out. And the "it's fiction" argument really doesn't fly. Yeah, it is, but that doesn't mean the writer can be lazy. Fiction doesn't mean you can just write whatever the heck you want and say "la de da, it's fiction, I don't have to care." No. That isn't the way it works. Professionally published novels are "fiction," but no publishing house in the world would let a writer get away with that. I'm not saying that you have to have professional quality work, but an attitude of "oh, I didn't know so I just put it in cause it's fiction" doesn't say a lot for how much you care about your work. Being a writer means putting forth the best story you can for your readers, and just slapping something in that's completely impossible because it's "fiction" is lazy. Why should I take the time to read your story if you can't take the time to put enough effort to use a plot device that works? I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to give some advice. Not all writers will be turned off by something like that, but a lot will. Your first chapter has to grip people and let them know why they need to keep reading. If something in the first chapter makes the author seem like they don't know what they're talking about, people are going to not read. So don't just take the easy way out and put in any old thing and call it "fiction." There's fiction and there's laziness. Do research. Ask other writers for advice. Take the time to come up with something that works. Your story will be better because of it.
Reviewer: Chelsea Signed
Date: 10/09/2005 - 03:36 am
Title: Chapter Two
Good start. I like this one and can't wait to see what happens next.
Reviewer: ~*~Tasha~*~
Anonymous
Date: 10/08/2005 - 11:12 pm
Title: Chapter Two
Look forward to the next update. Nice building towards the changes by having Wes there to hopefully keep Wes from getting killed. Also I'm glad that Buffy told ANgel there was no way she wasn't going with Spike. {smiles} I liked the kiss first then the slap. Takes care of both sides of how Buffy must be feeling right now.
Reviewer: ~*~Tasha~*~
Anonymous
Date: 10/07/2005 - 02:15 pm
Title: Chapter One
More more more more ... {grins} Look forward to your next update.
Reviewer: Nichole
Anonymous
Date: 10/07/2005 - 09:10 am
Title: Chapter One
hey great start look forward to more..it didn't bother me at all about Buffy *69 back to LA..it's just a story of fantasy and creativity..i never would have caught that if someone hadn't pointed it out..but in the end it's your beautiful masterpiece and as its author you have the right to be as creative as you want...update soon...N
