Title: Crushes...As In Plural
Author: Pattyanne
snapkik@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: None of the BtVS
characters belong to me.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Time to rewrite 'Crush' to suit
myself and others, so obviously it's not
according to canon. Canon, shmannon...you
want to have some fun, or not?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part one...
**Please, don't let anything have happened to her. Glory..it
can't be Glory...she doesn't know...help me...please, I need
help...I need....**
Buffy's internal monologue ran out of steam as she shoved
open the door of Spike's crypt and saw her missing sister
sitting with him. Cross legged...on a coffin...facing each
other.
**What the....?**
Spike muttered his standard "Bloody hell," as he
climbed down off the coffin.
Buffy was literally feeling pole axed. The last thing she'd
expected to see here was her sister.
She'd come on the run to find Spike, not bothering to ask
herself why he was the first one she'd come to for help. All
the way over here, she had tried to repress the memory of
their last encounter in the Bronze.
Thinking about it too much made her cringe slightly
at the rude way she'd treated him after he'd dropped
everything to help her find Dawn. It hadn't been his fault that
Glory had knocked him flying; more so it had been hers since
she hadn't warned him what he was going up against.
When she had told her mother about it, Joyce had looked
at her with a disapproving expression and some disappointment
in her eyes. She had informed Buffy that she should be highly
ashamed of her behavior, stressing the fact that she had not
brought her up to believe that it was perfectly all right to be
nasty to someone who had been kind enough to help her,
at the very real risk of their own safety.
Her mother's words had brought a hot flush of shame into
her cheeks.
For some reason, Joyce had always had a soft spot for
Spike. Starting during their tete-a-tete over cocoa in the
kitchen, it had never really been wiped out completely,
even after the subsequent events were long over with.
She certainly preferred him to Angel, having made no
secret of the fact that she'd not been able to warm up to him
after he had returned from the hell Buffy had sent him to on
the point of her sword, soul or no soul.
Buffy had planned to apologize when she had an
opportunity, which apparently she was now about to have.
But seeing her sister here irritated her out of all pro-
portion to the offense. The cozy little tableau was pissing
her off, and she wasn't sure why.
She knew Spike couldn't hurt Dawn. Moreover, she was
fairly sure that he WOULDN'T hurt her, even if given a
chance to do so.
Still, since when had they become so...chummy...with
each other?
Dawn rolled her eyes and spoke up. "Spike was just telling
me this story and he was just at this really cool part..."
Buffy wasn't much interested in what Dawn had to say.
Pinning Spike with an angry glare, she asked, "What the
hell is this? What is she doing here?"
Dawn answered. "Just hanging out."
The slayer turned her gaze on her sister. "Here?"
The girl sighed. "Can you please just let him finish the
story and then do the lecture?"
Buffy's scowl deepened and she rounded on Spike
again. "Yeah. Okay. Let's hear the story that Spike is
telling my little sister," she demanded, pleased when
she saw that she'd really rattled his cage.
"Right. Yeah," he stammered. His eyes skipped
back and forth between the two girls. "So, uh...I knew
the girl was in the coal bin. So I rip it open...very violent,
haul her out of there..."
Buffy folded her arms across her chest and arched one
eyebrow.
"...and I gave her to a good family in a nice home where
they're never mean to her and didn't lock her in the coal bin,"
he finished with a shrug.
"What?" Dawn said, her voice tinged with disbelief. "That's
so lame."
Spike ignored the comment and looked at Buffy. "I was
just about to send her home," he explained. "I knew you'd
be frettin'."
The way he looked at her, his tentative tone, brought back
the memory of her disgrace at the Bronze.
Well, no way was she going to apologize now!
"Dawn, get your stuff," she ordered curtly. "We're out
of here."
Turning her back to avoid his eyes, she hustled her sister
out the door of the crypt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The girls bickered as they walked home.
"Why doesn't it register with you?" Buffy asked. "Crypt plus
vampire equals bad!"
Most of the time.
"Cause it's Spike," Dawn replied, feeling her comment should
clinch the argument.
Buffy stopped and stared at the girl. "Hanging out with Spike is
not cool, Dawn, okay? It's...it's dangerous...and...icky."
Dawn smiled, a little shyly. "I don't think Spike's icky."
"Well, think again, sister." She noticed the little smile on
Dawn's lips and put her hands on her hips, shocked at the
sudden epiphany. "You have a crush on him!" she accused.
Her sister immediately denied it. "No, I don't. It's just..." She
giggled in a way that made Buffy want to smack her. "..he's
got cool hair and he wears cool leather coats and stuff." The
smile dropped away. "And he doesn't treat me like an alien."
Buffy's jaw sagged. Was that really what Dawn believed?
That she and the others treated her like something from outer
space? So much so that she had to go to Spike for
acceptance?
Wanting to avoid that particular subject, Buffy went back on
the attack. "He's a killer, Dawn," she said, as though the
girl hadn't a brain in her head. "You cannot have a crush on
something that is...dead, and...and evil. AND a vampire!"
Dawn gave Buffy a look that said 'Oh, really?' "That's why
you were never with Angel for three years."
That comment took all the righteous wind out of Buffy's
sails.
"Angel's different," she countered. "He has a soul." **Most
of the time...**
Dawn didn't see it that way at all. "Spike's got a chip," she
shrugged. "Same diff."
Turning away for a moment to gather her control, Buffy made
an angry gesture. "I can't listen to this." It was her standard
response to anything she didn't want to hear or acknowledge.
"Spike is a monster, okay? And plus, you are only fourteen
years old!"
She didn't know WHAT that had to do with anything.
"I like hanging out with him is all," Dawn insisted. "And
even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million
years. Not with YOU around."
Buffy frowned. "What does THAT mean?"
Dawn looked at her like she was the stupidest, least self-
aware person on earth. "Spike's totally into you."
The slayer couldn't think of what to say to such a
surprising announcement.
Dawn laughed a little at her sister's stunned face. "Oh,
come on," she said. "You didn't notice? Buffy...Spike is
totally in love with you."
Just when Buffy thought she was no longer capable of
being surprised, she got knocked ass-over-teakettle.
"Huh?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Xander?"
"What?"
Buffy started to speak, then stopped. "Never mind."
They looked around the train car they were checking for
possible vamp activity.
Although she was there in flesh and spirit, her mind was
off in left field picking daisies.
She forced herself to try again. If she didn't bounce Dawn's
little revelation off of someone, she'd go stark staring mad.
"It's just that...Dawn...she said that..."
"Yeah?" Xander prompted.
Her nerve deserted her once again. "Forget it," she mumbled,
walking off again.
"Buffy!" he persisted, his curiosity aroused.
She stared at her feet. "She thinks that...she said that.."
Her friend nodded, waiting.
"Spike's in love with me."
It was finally out, and not a moment too soon.
Xander stared at her for half a beat, then burst out
laughing.
"I'm not joking," she said flatly.
Still laughing like a hyena, Xander put up one hand
and said, "I hope not. It's funnier if it's true."
Buffy was getting aggravated by his hilarity at her
admission. It wasn't THAT damn funny to think that
Spike might have an interest in her. "I'm serious! Xander!
This is serious!"
He tried to get himself under control, waving one hand
around. "Seriously," he finally said, composing his face.
He was silent for a whole ten seconds, then laughter
once again exploded out of him.
Wanting to give him a good crack across the face, Buffy
turned away and flopped down into one of the seats,
outlined by the yellow tape that marked the position of a
corpse found sitting in it.
"It's creepy," was all she could think to say.
Xander pulled himself together. "No...not creepy," he
denied. "Cause it's not real. I mean, how upset can you
really get over one of Spike's fevered daydreams?"
His opinion that Spike must be sick in the head to
feel something for her was slightly insulting, but she
made herself look past it. "I guess."
"So, where did Dawn...how did she come to this...ex-
tremely entertaining conclusion?"
Wishing he would drop the subject before she got
really pissed off, Buffy stood up. "She was hanging out
with Spike," she said, walking past him towards the
rear of the train car. "I think she has a crush on him."
Xander looked at her, dismayed, all the amusement
draining out of him. "What?"
Not even noticing his expression, she went on. "I
mean...I always knew that he had this...weird fixation
with me...."
He was no longer part of the immediate conversation. "I'M
the one she has the crush on," he protested. "ME!"
Still paying him no attention, Buffy sighed. "There's
nothing here, " she said, turning to leave. "Let's go."
Even in the face of Buffy's apparent lack of interest,
Xander couldn't let it go. "It's always been me," he
insisted. "Big, funny Xander. Oh, what?...she just
suddenly decides I'm the not the cool one anymore?"
Those words brought Buffy back reality. **The cool
one? When was that YOU? **
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy closed the front door and leaned back against
it. She was still trying desperately to process all the
new weirdness that was her life, and decide which part
to tackle first.
No way could Dawn be right. There wasn't a snowball's
chance in the Hellmouth.
The roles she and Spike played in their little melodrama
were very clearly defined, leaving absolutely no room for
interpretation.
Slayer...vampire...hatred. Period. Simple and clean cut,
and concise, something you could count on in a world
where you couldn't count on much.
As it is...so it always has been...so it always will
be...say 'amen' sister.
Dawn was clearly wrong.
**But...what if she's not? What do I do then?**
Well, what COULD she do? Spike wasn't exactly the
easily discouraged type of a guy. You only had to look
back on his track record in Sunnydale to learn that
lesson.
When he had something in mind, it was like trying to
pull the jaws of a pit bull open to make him see sense.
And no one knew it better than she did.
How many times had she almost finished him off? And
how many times had he come back looking for more?
That 'never say die' attitude had caused him to make some
spectacularly bad choices. He'd gotten clean away more
times than she could remember, and then, like clockwork,
he'd show up and they'd start the play...the dance...all
over again.
The dance...
**You know you want to dance, Slayer...**
Dark eyes staring down intently into hers. Looking up
with her own eyes wide. His aborted attempt to kiss
her...twice.
**No. No, no, no, and no again. Not possible. Not
happening. Out, out, out! Out of my head right
now!**
She was about to go upstairs and hide under her bed
when the sound of her mother's voice drew her to the
kitchen instead.
"But what they didn't get was that it was a copy of
the bill of lading."
Buffy walked in on another disturbingly cozy scene.
The hood light over the stove was on, casting the kitchen
into shadow.
Her mother was leaning on the counter. Dawn
was on the other side, smiling hugely.
And then there was Spike. Sitting on the opposite counter,
listening and chuckling.
"So," Joyce said. "They thought it was another order
form. So now I've got two shipments of Greek amphorae
on my hands." She giggled, a sound that Buffy had never
heard come out of her mother...a girlish sound.
God! What the hell was it with this vampire!? How did
he charm her family so easily? Why?
Spike chuckled softly. "That's funny. And really, how many
do you need, amphorae?"
Folding her arms to hide her tightly clenched fists,
Buffy walked into the kitchen. All three occupants looked
up at her arrival.
"Oh, Buffy," Joyce said cheerily. "Spike came by to
apologize for yesterday. Our missing child drama."
The slayer frowned. Since when did Spike apologize
for anything?
"And he just decided to...hang out for a while?" she
guessed acidly.
"Oh, well," Joyce made a dismissive gesture. "I got
talking about the gallery. See, there was this..."
"Don't get us all laughing again, Joyce," Spike cut
her off. "Anyhow, I really need to talk to your eldest."
Buffy's hackles rose. "About what?"
Instead of answering her, Spike jumped down from his
seat on the counter and walked past her into the hallway. "I
got a bit of info you might be keen on knowing," he said,
turning to face her.
"Sorry," she replied snidely. "All out of cash. Why don't
you go hit on Giles...HIT UP Giles?" she added quickly.
Spike sighed. "Did I ask? Look, I got a bead on the
guy who killed those people. The ones on the train."
Buffy tilted her head. "Do tell."
"I'll do better than that," he said. "I'll show. Grab
your coat and your pointy sticks."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She stood inside the broken down building, hands on
her hips as she watched two vampires run like their
tails were on fire.
"Should we chase after them?" Spike suggested. "They
couldn't have gone too far."
Buffy was far too irritated to do anything of the kind.
"These vamps have been here for a while," she said, looking
around the room. They've nested."
He visibly tried to hold back a smile. "So, you're
saying they're a couple of poofters?"
She gave him an appraising look. "No. I'm saying that
they had nothing to do with last nights murders."
"How do you figure?"
"Whoever did it only arrived in town last night," she
snapped. "Looks like you've wasted my time."
Turning to leave, she started with surprise as Spike
grabbed the door and pulled it open for her.
"WHAT are you doing?" she asked.
Spike tried to backpedal. "I...I was...I wasn't thinking,"
he scoffed.
She wasn't in the slightest bit convinced. "What is
this? The late night stake-out? The bogus suspects?
The flask?"
Spike arched his brows but said nothing.
"Is...is this a date?"
"A date? Please! You are completely off your bird!" He
lowered his voice. "Do you want it to be?"
She released a soft groan. "Oh, my God."
Spike bit his lip, watching her carefully.
"Are you out of your mind?" she wanted to know.
He shrugged, pacing slowly towards her. "It's not so
unusual," he said. "Two people...in the workplace..feel-
ings develop."
Buffy held up her hands, as if to ward him off. "No.
No," she said firmly. "Feelings do NOT develop! No
feelings!"
For someone with no feelings, she was awfully
agitated.
"You can't deny it," Spike continued. "There's some-
thing between us."
Oh, she could damn well SO deny it!
"Loathing," she pointed out. "Disgust."
Spike just shook his head. "Heat. Desire."
Desperately grasping for any handhold she could
find, she fell back on the obvious. "Please! Spike,
you're a vampire!"
"Angel was a vampire," he said promptly, expecting
the comment.
"Angel was good!" **Usually...**
"And I can be, too. I've changed, Buffy."
**No! You are NOT allowed to change! You cannot
throw yet another monkey wrench into my life!**
"What, that chip?" she asked wildly. "That's not change.
That's just holding you back. You're like a serial killer
in prison!"
"Women marry them all the time!" he burst out.
It was such an impulsive statement that she nearly laughed. In-
stead she said, "ugh!" and turned away.
Apparently, Spike realized that she hadn't meant it the way it
had sounded and he hurried to cover. "But I'm not...like that. Some-
thing's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you. And if that
means turning my back on the whole evil thing, then...."
She whipped around, cutting him off. "You don't know you mean!
You don't know what feelings are!" She said it, although she really
didn't completely believe it.
He was offended now. "I damn well do! I lie awake every night..."
"You sleep during the day!"
"Yeah, but..." He clenched his teeth. "You are missing the point. This
is real here." He paused, gathering his nerve. "I love..."
"Don't!" she yelped, holding up one hand. She couldn't hear
that...didn't want to hear it. "Just...don't say it."
Spike just stared at her, his heart in his eyes. Buffy couldn't
bear it.
"I'm going," she said quietly, heading for the door.
"Oh, come on...we need to talk."
Oh, no they didn't! Not about this. Not ever about this.
"We don't need to do anything," she said doggedly. "There is no
'we'. Understand?"
She turned to run, and the last thing she heard was Spike
calling her name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was almost midnight when Buffy climbed out her
bedroom window and headed for the cemetery.
She'd spent the better part of the last hour tossing around
in her bed, unable to settle down for the night, and not
even sure why she couldn't seem to manage it.
Staring at the ceiling, her confrontation with Spike ran
through her head over and over again.
In love...with her! Spike was in love with her!
Oh, but not really. Spike couldn't really be in love with
her because...well, vampires don't feel love. They
couldn't...not without a soul.
So, how did that explain Spike's devotion to Miss Loony
Tunes for over a hundred years? It was love. It must have
been. What else would have kept him glued to that nut-
ball's side for so long?
No, he'd loved her all right. Buffy had no doubt of that. It
was the reason he'd been so frantic to cure her when she'd
been ill, so eager to forge an alliance with someone he hated,
so devastated when she'd left him.
Of course, this was different. Dru was another vampire. She
was a slayer. Maybe that was the denial road she should be
traveling. Not that he can't love, but that he can't love a slayer.
She knew that such devotion was a rare thing in a creature
of Spike's nature, but she had no interest in it...no matter how
good looking he happened to be...how....
Wait a second! What did his looks have to do with it?
Nothing.
Well, she wasn't blind. She'd known from the start
that he was a hottie of considerable magnitude. It wasn't
the sort of thing you could overlook. I mean...it was just there...in
your face.
What a face....
Groaning, she'd rolled over in bed and sat up. She had to get
this nonsense cleared up once and for all. Spike was going
to have to learn that she would never...NEVER...be interested
in him 'that way', and that if he wanted to remain part of her
inner circle, he'd best learn to accept it.
Yes. That's what she would tell him. Calmly and precisely.
And now.....
TBC.....
I love feedback!
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!