Buffy felt numb as she walked through the cemetery on patrol. Riley had been gone for almost twenty-four hours, and for that amount of time, she’d held out hope that maybe he’d change his mind. Maybe he’d see that they were worth fighting for. That she wasn’t too jaded, too hard, too strong to be good for him.
So lost in thought, she never saw the vampire in front of her until she’d literally crashed into him.
“Bloody hell, Slayer!” Spike cried, grabbing her shoulders to assist her in keeping her balance. “If I’d been someone out here to hurt you, then where would you be?”
“Good think you’re not a real vampire,” she muttered halfheartedly.
“Hey!” he cried indignantly, stopping her before she could walk away. “You oughtta be more careful.”
Buffy looked up with wide eyes, the sincerity in his voice, changing from one tone to another in a matter of seconds, confused her – as well as the fact that he seemed to be genuinely concerned about her.
“Keep wandering around here without your head in the game and some big nasty is going to make you a nice snack.”
Memories came back to her from the night before.
“You aren't a passion to them, you are a snack! A willing, idiotic snack.”
“Why do you care?” she said, walking around Spike, unsurprised when he fell into step beside her.
“Maybe I don’t fancy breakin’ in a new Slayer,” he replied, an amused smile on his face when she turned to level him with a cold look. Conceding defeat, he finally sighed, looking up at the sky for a moment as they continued walking. “Or maybe I just don’t want to see you get hurt, pet.”
Turning toward him in surprise, Buffy’s lips parted in confusion. “What are you saying?” she asked, her brow crinkling, forming a small crease in the middle as she studied him.
“Means exactly what it sounds like,” he said, never taking his eyes away from her. “Don’t want you gettin’ hurt.”
“You’re a vampire,” she said, her lips tightening into a firm line when she realized how naïve that sounded.
“You’ve known that for quite a while,” he said with a smile. “At least I hope you have. ‘Cause if you didn’t, and you thought you were just beating up a regular Joe every time you walked into my crypt, I feel sorry for the people who call themselves your friends.”
Finally managing a small smile, Buffy shook her head at his logic.
“Knew I could get a grin,” he said, a proud tone in his voice.
“What I mean is… shouldn’t you want me dead?” she asked. “Because of the whole vamp/Slayer issue? Rivalry, whatever.”
“Should,” he said with a nod, shoving his hands in his pocket. “Cold-blooded killer, after all.”
“Vampires. Killers.”
“They made me feel something, Buffy. Something I didn't even know I was missing until-”
Buffy studied the man in front of her for a long moment, seeing for the first time that he was truly a man. The demon was and always would be there, but Spike was a man, first and foremost. But the demon was in there. What did it feel like? Was it constantly craving blood? Her blood? Her death?
“No. On some basic level it was about me. My blood, my body. When they bit me… it was beyond passion. They wanted to devour me, all of me.”
Buffy felt her heartbeat begin to speed up as she looked away, knowing that Spike sensed a noticeable change in her as she continued through the graveyard. Anyone could see her flushed skin, hear her labored breathing in the quiet night. And with his enhanced senses, she wouldn’t be surprised if he picked up on her increased heart rate and the arousal that took her by surprise.
Whirling around to face him after a moment, Buffy studied him for a long moment, her expression softening as an idea formed. “Spike,” she said in a sultry whisper, beckoning him toward her with a slight movement of her head. “Can I ask you something?” she asked, keeping her voice calm and quiet as she looked at him.
“What is it, love?” he asked, tilting his head to look at her. He hadn’t been this close to her since the night of the kiss-that-wasn’t behind the Bronze. The same night that she’d accepted his comfort for her mother.
Summoning everything inside of her, she bravely trailed a fingernail along the black fabric of his shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his chest beneath her touch.
Spike looked at her in confusion, uncertain of what game she was trying to play.
“I… I want…”
The words nearly caused her to choke as she lost her nerve, looking down at the ground after a moment.
“I can’t,” she whispered, turning and walking away. “I can’t do this.”
Jumping and taking a step back when Spike appeared in front of her, Buffy took a deep breath to control her nerves.
Staring at her for a long moment, Spike seemed to be studying her. Buffy nearly trembled when his hand raised to gently run over her hair, barely touching her.
“It hurts,” he said in a moment of compassion, seeing Buffy’s eyes widen in response. “When it seems to be sudden… it hurts.”
Buffy took a deep breath, trying to close her mind of the image of the helicopter lifting off the ground, her own voice ringing in her ears as she screamed for Riley.
‘If I had run faster, yelled louder, maybe…’ Her thoughts trailed off as she looked up into Spike’s warm blue eyes.
Terrified of what might happen if she acted on her impulses, scared of what would happen if she didn’t, Buffy moved a little closer to Spike, quickly brushing a kiss to his lips and pulling away to see the surprise on his face. Shivering when Spike took another step forward, his hands lightly running up her arms, Buffy lifted her gaze to his, closing her eyes when his lips met hers in a tender kiss.
Something inside of her broke.
A muffled sob came from her throat as she eagerly clutched to Spike, desperately needing a connection to the man in front of her, needing to prove to herself that it wasn’t her. That she could be the Slayer and still be a girl who could give herself fully to a man. Even if the man was a vampire.
Fumbling with his belt as his lips moved over hers, Buffy barely registered when the light hold on her arms turned more forceful, attempting to push her away. Pulling away with a look of confusion, she panted for air as she looked into his eyes.
“Slayer-”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Not ‘Slayer’. Not tonight.”
Pulling him to her again, Buffy thrust her hips against his, her hands coming up to hold onto each side of his face as he grabbed her hips, moving against her until they were practically struggling against each other, removing articles of clothing and sending them flying over tombstones and into the low-hanging tree branches.
Fingernails dragged over flesh, lips broke away from each other to explore the newly exposed skin.
Spike gently kissed along her shoulder, toward her neck, feeling Buffy clutch at his shoulders as she rested her head against his chest, gasping for air.
Subtly pulling him toward her, Buffy laid down on the soft grass, holding her breath until Spike was laying on top of her. Each fumbled with the few remaining articles of clothing until Buffy’s sharp intake of air at the feel of his erection pressing against her center seemed to bring them both back to reality.
Spike’s eyes searched her face, trying to find a hint of reluctance. “Buffy…”
“I know what I’m doing,” she whispered, sounding surprisingly sure of herself, a direct contradiction to the look in her eyes.
“You do?” he asked softly, using every ounce of self-control to not take her as hard as he could, consequences be damned.
Her gaze avoided his for a moment before she nodded. “I want you, Spike.”
“Look at me,” he said, capturing her chin in his hand and turning her eyes to his. “Know who you’re with.”
Buffy’s response was to lift her hips, briefly closing her eyes with a sharp gasp when the head of his cock entered her. “I do,” she whispered in a strained voice, breathing heavily, her fingernails digging into his shoulders as his hips slowly moved forward, filling her until she was arching her back, craving his touch.
“More,” she whispered in a strained voice, crying out when he plunged into her, making her lose all coherent thought as they thrust against each other.
Buffy clutched at him, needing to find something to keep her grounded as he continued to push her toward the edge with every movement.
Spike wasn’t sure how long they had been there. The feel of her body beneath him, surrounding him was almost more than he could take. He could feel her muscles clenching around him, seeking her release as she desperately clawed at his back.
“I love you,” he whispered, seeing her eyes widen in shock before snapping shut as her orgasm crashed into her, causing her to writhe beneath him as his hips slammed against hers.
“You… you love me?” she whispered breathlessly, looking up into his eyes, clutching at him as he continued to thrust into her.
Spike’s face shifted as she continued to stare at him. Without warning, he lunged for her throat, ignoring the buzzing pain that went off in his skull as his fangs sliced into her neck. Feeling her body tense at the sudden invasion, Spike reached between them, manipulating her clit until she was screaming out in her second climax.
Finding his release, Spike grunted as he slammed his hips against hers for the last time, mildly surprised that he didn’t hurt her, too lost in the feel of her muscles flexing around him to care. Barely able to support himself with his arms, he looked down at her, seeing the confusion mingling with the satisfaction on her face.
Buffy stayed still for a moment, feeling better and worse at the same time. Breathing heavily, the oxygen seemed to bring clarity to the situation. Struggling against him after a moment, she nearly panicked when he didn’t move. “No,” she said in a strained voice, her eyes widening when he caught her wrists in his hands and pinned them above her head. “No… No! Spike, let me go!” she cried, struggling against his hold.
“Not gonna happen,” he said in a firm tone. “I may not be able to hurt you, Slayer, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do other things.”
Her eyes widened as she misread his words. “Spike, please don’t,” she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.
Frowning in confusion, his eyes narrowed as he looked at her. “What do you think I’m gonna do, Slayer? I’m already inside you. Can’t do much more at this point.”
Realizing that what he was saying was true, Buffy swallowed nervously, trying to force her muscles to relax. “What do you want?” she asked in a child-like voice.
“If I let you go… you’re not going to ignore this,” he said, his eyes boring into hers.
“Spike-”
“You said you knew what you were doing,” he reminded her. “You’re not going to pretend this didn’t happen.”
Buffy closed her eyes in anticipation when his head lowered to hers, surprised to feel his lips on her neck instead of her mouth, nuzzling the mark he’d given her until she was moaning and lifting her hips to his for some much-needed friction.
Pulling back, he looked at her for a moment, letting go of her wrists, obviously pleased when her hands immediately grabbed his biceps instead of hitting him. “No disregarding what just happened… alright?”
Buffy’s stomach clenched when he rocked his hips against hers, closing her eyes as she frantically nodded. “I won’t… I won’t ignore it,” she whispered, relaxing when she felt his lips on hers for a tender kiss. A slow smile formed on her lips as she lifted up to leave a bite on his neck, smiling wider when Spike groaned, his cock hardening inside of her.
Giggling softly to herself, obviously proud of the reaction she was able to get from him, she bit him again, kissing the red marks her teeth had made. “How can I ignore that?”