Faith had just come back upstairs. Buffy frowned in the direction of the slightly taller then herself brunette, as she walked upstairs and out of sight, luckily not noticing her or the looks of pure hatred that were sent her way.
Why should she care if her and Spike had been, well they had only been talking when she had come down but that probably, wasn’t all they had been doing. Or at least it wasn’t after she left, Faith had obviously been flirting with Spike and he had been doing the same. They were looking quite comfortable on the small cot, she had even seen them share a smoke.
‘I mean, Faith is a tramp, a slutty tramp no less. Her breasts were practically being pushed out of her tight tank top, naturally a guy wouldn’t be thinking with the right parts of his body.’ She stared at the basement door as if she was seeing the scene for the first time.
‘But what if it hadn’t all been about her looks? What if he actually felt something for Faith?’ The little doubtful voice in her head nagged her. She stared at the stairs, her eyes misty as she zoned out and continued with her thoughts.
But that couldn’t be, Faith wasn’t the type for that kind of relationship anyways. Was she?… And surely Spike still loved her. Didn’t he?…
Once again, why should she care if they like each other? It’s not like she loved him…Buffy paused upon thinking this. Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head. Of course she didn’t. Sure he had saved her before, (she would never admit that to him though) both physically and emotionally, and he had protected Dawn and even the gang while she had been…dead. Sure he had been the only one she could talk to after she came back, and he had also let her use him when she had been so desperate to feel something, anything…what was the point supposed to be again? Damn.
That reminded her of something else. She had used him. So why shouldn’t he want to move on, what with thinking that’s all she would ever want to do, use him, because she wasn’t capable of loving him. Why shouldn’t he believe that though, she had said it enough times to convince even herself. ‘ Wait a minute, why would I need to be convinced that I can’t love Spike?’ She paused. ‘ Maybe because you can and you do!’ the nagging little voice continued it’s nattering annoying her more every second. Even if she did…which she didn’t!…why should he want her back after what she put him through, She had been a complete bitch to him. He had Faith now.
She unconsciously growled. Faith. She never really did like her that much…and how did she know that Faith wasn’t just going to use him like she had? She couldn’t let that happen, two slayers, both using him. Why was all this so confusing, it shouldn’t be.
But Faith was such a bitch, trying to make her jealous. Putting her hand on Spike while he had been half naked, who did she think she was?! She had sooo been doing that on purpose! What did she think she was accomplishing anyway? Did she think she cared if she had been hanging around Spike…flirting….shamelessly. ‘Ugh, why can’t I get my mind of that?!’ She ran a hand through her sleek silky hair in pure frustration.
She thought back to the years before. She had supposedly hated him. Supposedly. She had always been trying to make her friends happy, be what they had expected her to be. But Spike had been the only one who had really seen through the whole charade, and in return she had always said nasty things to him and told him off with things like ‘ you’re beneath me’. That one had really hurt him, he had come with a gun to kill her but instead ended up comforting her, that alone proved to her how much he had been changing over the years, how much he loved her…..had loved her. And she had let him. She had not only hurt him with words but physically.
She remembered times she had beaten him so bad that he could scarcely walk or even talk to anyone. She cringed. Those memories were the one’s the made her disgusted with herself the most. That time she had gone to the police station to turn herself in, he had tried to stop her, had even gotten rid of the body for her. And what had she done? Beaten him, and he had let her. She shifted uncomfortably in the small kitchen chair at the thought.
A picture of him covered in bruises and a split lip emanating blood appeared in front off her. Her eyes filled with tears at what she had done all those years.
Never the less, he was her vampire and Faith had no right moving in on him knowing this. She had come to the conclusion, she cared for Spike and she wouldn’t let some harlot-like slayer have him. Over her dead body, and that’s saying something since she died and came back twice already. She would have to confront Faith.
She snapped out of her dazed state and hopped off the chair she had been sitting on in the kitchen. Every step she took as she was walking up the stairs made her a little less confident on the task at hand. ‘What if Spike really didn’t love her anymore?’ It was strange how an upcoming apocalypse wouldn’t even be able to frighten her momentarily, but just that one thought had been able to make her heart sink to the pit of her stomach and make her tremble almost to the point where she had collapsed on one of the stairs.
Before she had realized it, she was at the top of the stairs making her way towards the bathroom where she could see Faith re applying her make up. Her legs carrying her there involuntarily. She took a deep breath that was supposed to be calming but ended up coming out as a half hearted sigh and stood on the inside of the door but not quite inside the bathroom.
“ Hey B, you all right? Looking kind of tense there.” She said in her usual nonchalant tone making Buffy aggravated and tense.
“ Faith I wanted to talk to you about,” She paused and gathered all her strength. Talking to Faith about this wasn’t going to be easy, especially since she hadn’t told anyone about her feelings towards Spike. “ Spike.” She finished with a resolute tone.
“ Oh you mean the hunk of salty goodness that is the hottie of a vampire in the basement? What about him?” She turned back to the mirror with a Cheshire grin in place.
Buffy’s jaw clenched as she tried hard to stop herself from gritting her teeth. At this point she hadn’t noticed that Dawn had come upstairs.
“ Hey Buffy…” She trailed off as her sister turned around and she saw the look on her face. “ You know what, forget what I was going to say. Kick her ass!”
“ Dawn what…?” Buffy gave her a quizzical look, but the anger and annoyance directed at the brunette bordering on a black haired girl behind her, never leaving her.
“ Just cuz’ I can’t see the war paint, doesn’t mean that there isn’t going to be a war.” Dawn grinned wide and skipped off merrily to her room. She had never really liked Faith.
She sighed and turned back to Faith who was smirking bemusedly.
“ As I was saying, I think it’d be best if you left him alone.” She folded her arms and changed her posture to show that she was deadly serious and wasn’t taking no for an answer.
Faith rolled the lipstick back in the rube and put the lid back on casually as if unaffected by the threatening tone in her fellow slayer’s voice. “ Well, that’s all well and good but I’m not very sorry to say I don’t intend to do that anytime soon. I happen to like,” she paused and made a face to make it seem that she was thinking hard. “ talking to Spike.” She smirked suggesting by the way that she had said ‘talking’ that it wasn’t what they did at all.
Buffy bit her lip so hard that she drew a few droplets of blood from the outside of her lip. “ That wasn’t a suggestion Faith,” She spit the name out venomously. “ It was a warning as well as threat. You messed with Riley and I was ok with that because I didn’t l..,” She stopped herself. “ Because I never really liked him too much, but I draw the line at Spike,” She unfolded her arms and balled them unconsciously into fists at her sides.
“ Well sorry to disappoint B, isn’t gonna happen anytime soon. You can have him after I’m through. Although I have to tell you, it might take a while, I’m getting used to him.” She licked her lips suggestively.
Buffy could feel that she was starting to turn red. How dare she? How dare that little…ugh she couldn’t think of a word bad enough! She had no right to talk about him that way, like he was some peace of meat, talk about her vampire that way. “ You have no right talking about my vampire that way!” She all but yelled. Her eyes went slightly wide at what she had let slip.
All Faith did was raise an eyebrow and go on. “ Now I know what you saw in the whole vampire deal with Angel before. A little bit of cold comfort. It feels great doesn’t it? The cold hard body of his, like some damn greek god.” She went on talking about Spike after moving on from Angel. And it sounded like she knew what she was talking about which fuelled Buffy’s now burning flames of hatred and loathing for her.
“ Fine you want Angel?! You can have the brooding bloodsucker, just leave Spike the hell alone!!” She yelled. This time almost at the top of her lungs. She was grateful that the only other person in the house was Dawn and…oh shit, Spike! And what had she called Angel?! That was definitely a first.
“ Nah, Angel’s good and all but compared to Spike he’s just mediocre. I prefer Spike if you don’t mind,” She continued unfazed by the yelling.
“ I DO MIND!” Buffy stomped like a child. She was at the braking point. “ YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW IT!” She ran down the stairs leaving Faith behind and almost tripping on the third step from the bottom but luckily she gripped onto the railing.
She made her way to the basement door and opened it frantically running down the stairs in a rush. When she neared the bottom she saw Spike laying on the cot looking better then ever, the white sheet only covering him partially. She could tell that he was wearing his tight black jeans because one leg was slung over the side of the cot carelessly and wasn’t covered by the sheet, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He was reading some book that fell to the floor with a dull ‘thud’ when he heard her storming down the basement steps and saw her before him breathing heavily trying to regain control of herself.
“ Slayer wha…?” He started looking startled when she cut him off violently.
“SHUT UP SPIKE!” Buffy commanded him, cringing slightly by the way he called her slayer and because he called Faith by her proper name.
“ Do not talk, just listen!” She snapped. “ I know that there’s something between you and Faith…” she saw that he was about to speak and pointed her index finer at him angrily. “ I said listen!” At the sound of her tone he closed his mouth and sat back knowing it was best not to upset her farther in this mood.
“ Like I was saying, I know there’s something between you and Faith and I’m sick of trying to stop it because of my petty jealously. I’m sick of her always getting her way and the men that I happen to have or want. I’m sick of my slayer duties and always having to do the right thing, and never being happy because I’m always acting the way everyone expects me too! And of knowing that Faith is getting everything that I always wanted, the opposite of what I have.” She took a big gulp of air feeling like she was suffocating by the smothering sound of nothing but her own voice, she was aware that she was also shaking so hard that she had started to lean on the banister for support to keep her from falling.
She was also aware of the fact that her was sounding unusually high and extremely loud to the point of yelling, and that she her voice was hoarse from all the emotion she had put into the not yet finished speech. It was so hard to breathe right now, it was so unbearably hard to say all this to the one man she truly loves. She new it now and wouldn’t deny it if anyone asked her. But possibly the hardest thing to do was to look into his deep cerulean eyes, for fear of what she would find there. So she didn’t look.
“ I know you loved me but you don’t anymore, and I’ll find a way to be ok with that because you deserve better anyways. I treated you horribly and I even hurt you physically until you were a bleeding mess all because you cared.” She stood silent for a split second as another wave of self loathing washed over her. “ All you’ve ever been around me is miserable…so I hope you and…” She choked out the name. “ Faith, are happy together, god knows you deserve it.”
She willed her body to calm down and stop shaking as she finished talking. She still didn’t have the nerve to look into his eyes. ‘ I’d probably see pity or something like that anyway.’ She thought. ‘Damn, my life sucks.” As she finished she felt her eyes prickling a bit and then her vision became blurry. ‘ What the hell?…” She touched her cheek and found it was wet, it seemed that in the three seconds that she had stopped talking she had started crying. She was so weak.
“ Damn it! Why do the Powers hate me so freaking much?” She yelled running back up the stairs with tears now freely streaming down her face. She didn’t stop running until after she was in her room. She quickly walked over to the her bed and went under the covers with her favourite stuffed animal, Mr. Gordo.
She started sobbing, soaking Mr. Gordo with her hot tears. Her life sucked to the point where she wouldn’t mind if she died during the battle, or even before it somehow because of the bringers of some Uber vamp. She knew it was selfish because her friends and the potentials needed her to be a leader, but at this point she didn’t care if she was selfish. Even if she did die and end up in heaven again, she wouldn’t be happy this time, not without…. Just the thought of him made her body shake violently from the sobs and her gut twist harshly. She had never felt so alone in her entire life.
There was a knock on her bedroom door that startled her, the only thing she had heard in the room was her sobbing and deafening silence. She stopped, maybe it was Spike.
“ Buffy are you all right?” Her heart sank, it was Dawn.
She lifted her head from underneath the bed covers. “ Yes, I’ll be ok.” She sniffled. Her voice came out more strained and broke with emotion then she had intended.
She ducked back under the covers and hugged Mr. Gordo tighter to herself. She closed her eyes trying to stop the tears.
There was another knock at the door. This time however, she didn’t lift her head from underneath the covers or open her eyes. “ Ok fine, you caught me! I’m not all right and I won’ be for quite some time, I just need some time alone Dawnie!”
She heard a soft click and someone walk into the room and towards the bed, but didn’t bother to acknowledge it. She felt the cover’s being pulled off her head and she opened her eyes annoyed at Dawn for not listening to her. But instead of meeting Dawns doe brown eyes she met soulful blue ones.
She sat up quickly and wiped her face frantically, trying to mask the fact that she had been crying. It was no use.
He just stared at her. She couldn’t quite read his expression. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to. The silence in the room stretched for a while before she spoke. “ Shouldn’t you be doing…something with Faith?” She looked away and scooted a little farther from his side unwillingly.
“ Luv, there never was anything between me and Faith. You must have misunderstood something.” He tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.
She looked at him doubtfully. “ The basement…”
“ Was just me and her talking. Nothing more.” He gave her a small smile.
“ But she said…” She couldn’t believe it. Had it all been for nothing, everything she said? Had Faith lied?
“ She was playing you pet, I heard every word. Vampire hearing and all.”
“ Even the parts where I said you were…” She paused. He had heard, heard her say that he was hers.
“ Yeah, pet. Heard you say that I was, your vampire.” “ And truer words have never been spoken, pet. I always was and always will be. All that stuff you said about me deserving better then you, don’t believe it. We have both done things we regret in our lives.”
“ And unlives.” She turned and looked at him intently. He had the most gorgeous eyes when they were looking at her.
“ Did you mean what you said about me? All that stuff to Faith?”
She looked down at Mr. Gordo. She had said, or thought rather, that if anyone asked her she would tell them the truth.
She turned to look at him, her hazel eyes showing a hint of green in them. “ Yes.” The answer was plain and simple, she meant everything she said, she loved him.
“ Spike, I know I’ve said this over and over before, that I could never…but… I love you, with my whole being, so much that it hurts. When I came up here after what I said to you and what Faith had said to me I felt like I wouldn’t have cared if I had died during or before the battle.”
He gave her a scared look. “ Don’t EVER think like hat again! I love you and if you died I’d…dust myself!” He pulled her closer against his still bare chest.
She giggled. “ What’s so funny?” He frowned down at her. She giggled again, “ Romeo and Juliet.”
“ Huh?” He stared down at her questioningly.
“ If you did what you just said after I died, we’d be all Romeo and Juliet, except, you know, it would be reverse cuz’ I’d die first like Romeo and then you would like Juliet, and there’d be a different cause of death.”
Spike looked down at her and chuckled. “ I love you Summers.” He leaned down and kissed her passionately, their tongues gliding against each others. He licked the traces of blood off her lip, where she had bitten it before. She smiled against his mouth and tangled her fingers in his hair making it a mop of messy curls. And for once, she wasn’t scared to show him, just in that one kiss, how much she loved him.
“ Buffy, I need to talk to you about…” Giles walked into her room with Willow And Xander.
She unwillingly broke away from Spike and stared at the three faces of her friends and father figure. She felt Spike tense beside her wrapping his arms around her, waiting possessively as if afraid she would jump up and try to explain.
“ You and …” Xander started stumbling over his words.
“ Yeah, me and Spike. I’ve been trying to make everyone happy for way to long, and I can’t do that anymore because it makes me miserable.” She looked at all of them one by one determined. “ I. Love. Spike.” She said slowly, even though she was talking to them she had been looking at Spike the whole time. He smiled at her kissing her lightly.
“ And if anyone has a problem with it, you can fight the apocalypse alone!” She smiled sweetly and kissed Spike again.
A smiling Willow, and a shocked Xander and Giles walked out of the room.
Willow quickly poked her head back in the room. “ So, what finally made you guys get together after all this time?” She asked with a smile.
“ Faith,” the two answered in unison.
~*~*The End*~*~