“I liked the lady. Understand, monkey boy? She was decent.” Spike was saying as Xander and Willow exchanged a look. “She didn't put on airs. She always had a nice cuppa for me. And she never treated me like a freak.” He finished and tried not to let the tears show that were threatening to fall down his face. He had a reputation after all.
“Her mistake.” Xander replied and Spike realized that he had enough. No matter how hard he tried to change, they would never see him as anything more than a monster.
“Think what you want.” Spike stated as he threw the flowers to the ground and walked away. Buffy had the front door opened a little and heard everything that Spike said. She tuned out Xander and Willow as she watched Spike walk away. She couldn’t believe that he actually brought her mother flowers. She could tell how sincere he was by the tone in his voice. Buffy realized how hard everyone was on Spike. He was trying so hard to change and no one would give him a chance. Her mother always saw something in Spike that no one else did. She always liked him and knew that he wouldn’t hurt her. Even before the chip, he never once hurt her mother. Buffy closed the door when she noticed Willow walk over to it. Willow placed the flowers that Spike brought on the doorstep and then walked away with Xander. Buffy opened the door when she knew they were gone and picked the flowers up. She sniffed them and noticed that there wasn’t a card or anything. He really did only bring them for Joyce. Buffy had a small smile on her face as she walked back in the house. It was time for things to change.
* * * * *
Spike was pacing in his crypt for what seemed to be forever. He wanted to see Buffy and Dawn more than anything. He had to know if his girls were okay, but he figured that he wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the house. The waiting was driving him bloody crazy. He couldn’t even pay his respects to Joyce and the funeral was during the day, so he knew he wouldn’t be able to attend. He would just wait and go when it’s dark, he’s sure they would all be gone by then. He ran his fingers through his hair, when he heard the door of his crypt open. He sighed and wondered what could be wrong now. He made his way to the top level and stopped when he saw Buffy standing there, with what seemed to be a shy smile on her face. “Hey,” she said in a soft voice and Spike found his after a few seconds.
“Hey, is everything alright? You need my help with a demon or something?” He wondered because he didn’t know why else Buffy would be there. She only shook her head and looked to the ground, suddenly finding her feet very interesting. She took a deep breath before she looked back up at him.
“No, I just wanted to thank you.” Spike raised his eyebrows, clearly not expecting her to say that. She decided to clarify for him when she saw the confusion on his face. “I wanted to thank you for the flowers. They were very beautiful; I know my mom would have loved them.” Spike nodded and gave her a smile.
“So, you liked them then? I figured one of your mates would have trashed them.” Buffy shook her head as she moved closer to him and Spike was starting to feel a little nervous. They were both silent for a moment, until Spike spoke again. “I’m sorry about your mum. She was a decent lady. She didn’t deserve this.” Buffy felt touched at his words and again wondered why she never let herself see this side of him before. She knew it was always there. “I know that I don’t have much to offer, but I’m here for you and the niblet. I’ll help out anyway I can. You can trust me, Buffy.” He finished and hoped that she wouldn’t shut him out after this. She looked at him and started to feel tears in her eyes.
“I trust you.” Spike had a look of awe on his face at her words, but she wasn’t finished. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you. I know that you have been trying really hard to change and I see it now. You’re not beneath me, Spike. You never were. I was just scared and frustrated and I took it out on you. I really do believe in you, Spike. I know that you can be a good man, it’s about time I finally realized that.” Spike was beyond shocked now at what Buffy was saying. If it was possible, he loved her even more.
“I love you.” He said softly and hoped he wouldn’t get kicked in the head, but Buffy only smiled at him.
“I know.” She replied and Spike smiled in return. She took a deep breath before she spoke again. “Dawn is going to Willow and Tara’s after the funeral tomorrow. I was wondering if I could come back here. I really don’t want to be in that house alone right now.” Spike nodded without even thinking about it.
“Of course.” He told her and she sighed in relief. They didn’t know what to say about that as Buffy just looked around the crypt. Reality finally hit her when she thought of going back to her house and knowing that her mother would never come back. She would have to be the parent now and take care of Dawn and she didn’t know how to do that. She was so afraid of screwing up and just wished that her mother would come back and tell her what to do. She wished it could all be a really bad dream, but she knew that it wasn’t. It was real and her mother was really gone. It was like a dam broke then and she found herself bursting into tears for the first real time since she found her mother’s body. She buried her face in her hands and cried her heart out, when she suddenly felt two strong arms wrap around her. She then turned and buried her head in Spike’s chest and he didn’t say anything as he just held her. He kissed the top of her head and rocked her back and forth. She finally calmed down after a few minutes and Spike noticed that she fell asleep. He looked at her face and felt his unbeating heart break for her. The poor girl probably hasn’t slept in days. He then gently picked her up and carried her down to the lower level. He placed her on his bed and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He then sat by the bed and just watched her sleep.
* * * * *
He watched from a distance as she talked to Angel. The funeral was over hours ago and Angel showed after the sun went down. They sat for a little while and then gave each other a hug as she watched her former love walk away. Spike then made his way over to her and she smiled when she saw him. Spike smiled also as he took her hand in his and pulled her over to her mother’s grave. They both stared at it and Buffy felt tears in her eyes again. She kneeled down to be closer to her mother and Spike remained standing as he watched her. “I love you, mom. I hope you know that. I don’t think I told you enough. We’re going to be okay. Things definitely won’t be the same without you, but we’ll find a way to make things work.” She said as she stood up and Spike grasped her hand again, giving it a firm squeeze. She smiled at him and indicated that it was his turn. He nodded as he looked at Joyce’s grave and thought about what he needed to say.
“Hi, Joyce. I just want you to know that your girls will be very well taken care of. I’ll see to that. I love them both very much and I would never do anything to hurt them, so you don’t have to worry about that.” He said as he glanced over at Buffy to see the unshed tears in her eyes. He then turned back to the grave. “Thanks for always listening to me.” He said softly and grabbed Buffy’s hand again. He looked into her eyes and saw the sweetest look that anyone has ever graced him with. He could drown in her eyes and be a happy man. She gave him a small smile as she squeezed his hand.
“Let’s go home.” She said and Spike knew that she was referring to the crypt. Just hearing her call it home was enough to make him tear up, but he only gave her a smile in return.
“Sounds like an idea, love.” He told her and they both walked hand in hand out of the cemetery, knowing that things would definitely be different from now on.
The End
Well, that’s all I could think of. Don’t forget to review me. I promise many more Spuffiness in the future if you do=)
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!