**He's not here. Now's my chance. He'll never hear it. He will never know what I feel. He'll miss my confession.**
Buffy Summers sat in her 8th period Enlgish class, debating with herself on whether or not to get up in front of her entire class and recite the poem that she had writen for their class assignment.
They were assigned to write a poem depicting their dark secret from someone that they wanted to tell. She had chosen her best friend. Spike Giles. They had been friends or years. Twelve to be exact. Ever since they had been six, they had been friends.
She had met him when he first moved here from England. She, being young, never noticed how adorable he was with his brown curly hair and beautiful blue eyes. But once they had his high school and he had a complete make over, she realized just how unbelievably hot he was.
He had changed in a way that she thought no one ever could. He had went from wearing baggy clothes, brown curly hair, glasses, and a slight stutter around everyone, to tight jeans, chest clingy shirts, contacts, and the occasional black duster.
It was the first time that she had realized that she loved him when she way him that day of their first day of high school. She saw him in a new light. Wanting to be his girl forever. She never got the nerve to ask him though.
Wanting him to realize it, too. Wanting him to be the one to want her as badly as she wanted him. Needing him to realize that she was the only one that could give him every thing that he could ever want or need.
She needed him to want the same things. But he never did. Not once in their entire high school career. Freshman year, Sophomore year, or Junior year. Now they were in their Senior year of high school, almost at the end. Almost adults.
She was crushed the day that her best girl friend had made her realize that he was never going to feel that way if he hadn't felt it by now. It had hit her like a ton of bricks smashing her head in. She let the tears run for days and days.
Ignoring him for those days, all the while. He had shown worry for her. But she had assumed that it was a friendly kind of worry. She had blamed it on the fact that her father was leaving their family. Not wanting him to know the real reason.
But now she had her chance. Now she had the opportunity that she had been waiting for. She had dreaded when she found out that they had to present their poems in class in front of everyone. She was petrified that he would figure it out somehow and know her poem was about him.
Then their friendship would be ruined. Twelve years of friendship down the drain because she couldn't keep her emotions intact. She wouldn't let that happen. So she took the first chance she got to present her poem on the day that he wasn't here.
"Would anyone else like to read their poem today or shall you all wait for tomorrow to come around so you have more time to write it?" The teacher had asked, knowing that most of the students hadn't written the said poem, even though they had been given three weeks advanced knowledge.
Buffy raised her hand quickly, hoping that he would see it before he turned to the paperwork on his desk.
He looked surprised, to say the least when he saw her hand raised. She had never volunteered for something like this, but he wasn't going to pass this up, "All right Miss Summers. Go ahead."
**Here goes nothing Summers. Just don't screw it up.**
Buffy walked to the front of the room, right towards the door, knowing that she could escape from there if she absolutely needed to. Just a couple steps backwards and she would be there.
But instead, she faced her back to it and looked at her pupils, clutching a piece of paper that would change everything if Spike had heard what was on it. She took a deep breath and fidgeted with the paper, "Well, this is my poem. I know that I don't normally volunteer to do these presentation things, but I wanted to get this over quickly with. I'm not really sure how good it is, but I am okay with reading it because I know that the person it's about will never hear it. So here goes."
She took another deep breath, readying herself for the humiliation, but fought the feeling to throw up and opened her eyes as she read.
"I hate it when
you sit there
and ask me if I'm okay.
If I have a new crush.
Why I always seem so sad..
Well, my dear,
no, I'm not okay.
I can't have a new crush
when I'm still in love with you.
And I'm sad because
you broke my heart in
a billion pieces.
But I know
those answers aren't the ones you want.
So I lie.
Hoping all the while
that you don't see
right through me."
She closed her eyes while reading the last few lines, not wanting to see the laughter that would come to her classmates faces. Instead of hearing laughter, though, she heard applause. She heard people clapping their hands.
They liked it. She glanced at her teacher, realizing that he hadn't been clapping. But not for lack of approval, but for overload of astonishment. He had never seen her or heard anything from her that showed so much emotion.
She headed back to her seat, and sat down, barely missing the figure that had left the room from behind her.
-------------------------------------------------------
The bell had rang and Buffy was on her way out of the school, when someone grabbed her from the side of the halls, pushing her against the wall. She was about to hit the attacker, but quickly noticed who it was.
"SPIKE! What are you doing here? I thought that you weren't going to be here." She gave him a hug, just like she always did when they first saw each other.
He hugged her back, letting it linger for a while longer than it ever had before, "I got out of the doc early. Said I'm as healthy as a horse. Got back around the middle of 8th."
She scrunched her brows together, "8th? Why didn't you come to class?"
He moved back a bit from her, putting his hands in his pockets, "I did. That's why I'm still here. Was gonna just go home after, but I had to stay and talk to you."
Shock and fear coursed through her body. He had been in class? When? Why hadn't she seen him? Had he heard her? "What do you mean you were in class? I didn't see you."
"I know. I was behind you. Left before anyone noticed I was even there." Pause. He looked her in the eyes, trying to show all the emotion that he was feeling at the time in them, "I heard you, Buffy. I heard your poem that you wrote for the assignment. It was great."
She gulped, "It was?"
"Yeah. I wouldn't be so self centered to think that it was about me, would I?"
**Oh god! He knows! What am I gonna say?**
"Spike, I'm sorry. I know that we're best friends but I could never tell you before because I was just so scared. I didn't know how you would take me telling you that I loved you and not in the brotherly way or friendly way, I'm sorry."
He stood there and watched as she tried to explain her emotions to him, a smile spreading across his face once she finished, "Are you done?"
She nodded, not sure if she would be able to speak at the moment.
"Good, because now I have something to say." He leaned into her, pressing her firmly against the wall, wanting her to feel him against her body completely. He brushed his lips across her lightly, letting them linger there ever so softly.
He pulled back to look at her face, seeing that her eyes were closed. He chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose, which she took for her to open her eyes and look at him. Once she did, he kissed her lips again, "I love you, too."
She smiled, "You do? But you never said anything. Never did anything to indicate that you would ever love me like that."
He pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her waist, "Didn't want to muck up our friendship. Knew we had a great one, didn't want to lose that. Would rather have you as a friend then to not have you as anything. You know?"
She smiled, "Yeah, I know. But can you do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Can you kiss me again?" With that, he leaned down and captured her lips. This kiss wasn't like the others. It was more demanding. More captivating. She wanted to lose herself in him and he felt the same way.
She laced her arms around his neck as his tongue asked for entrance into her mouth. She gladly gave it and moaned as their tongues fought for dominance. After a good while of making out, they pulled apart, both gasping for air.
He pushed her against the wall, holding onto her so she wouldn't fall from the lack of oxygen, "What do you say? Wanna get out of here and go somewhere we can finish this in private? Just bought that apartment today? Wanna go?"
He laced their fingers, waiting for her answer. She smiled at him with all the love that he could ever ask for, "Absolutely."
They made their way the car parking lot, wrapped up in their own little world, not hearing the murmurs of people they passed exclaiming that her poem must have been a great one to finally get them together.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!