Chapter 1-
A/N: This is not betated, so forgive any errors.
****
Having had another long day at work, Buffy felt relieved once she stepped through the front door, and wished she no longer had to work at the Double Meat Palace, however, she had to pay the bills some how, or she’d lose everything, including Dawn – that just wasn’t an option for Buffy since her mother died.
Most all of all, Buffy wished no longer had to lie to her friends, whenever when she met with Spike, but that was her time – time to feel alive. Not being able to explain why that was, Buffy shrugged it off as she closed the door behind her.
“I’m home,” Buffy called out to anyone who was home. “Who wants to scrap the grease off my –“She trailed off hanging up her jacket, and peeking into the living room when she heard someone singing. “Is there singing?” She asked, horrified, entering the living room. ‘Oh god, they’re singing and dancing.’
Xander and Dawn were Dancing in the middle of the room, while Anya were on the sofa, watching them.
The slayer once again asked, “Are we singing?”
“Nope, just dancing,” Xander replied still dancing.
“Hey Buffy!” Dawn smiled.
“Hi Dawn.” Buffy glanced at her sister and then over at Willow. “Were you singing?”
“Yeah…” Willow blushed. “Yeah, I guess we were singing, Anya and I.”
The former vengeance demon piped up, adding her own two cents, “We’re also teaching Dawn perfectly synchronized dance steps for the wedding reception.”
Dawn giggled happily when Xander whirled her around a few times and then finally dipped her. Feeling a bit woozy, Dawn realized just how much fun she was having, she didn’t want to stop, but it did when
“Wanna go for a spin?” He asked, raising an eye brown, and remembering the first time they’d danced together – a time he would always remember.
The slayer begged off, making her way towards Anya and Willow and sat between them. “Um, think I’m heading more towards an ungainly collapse.”
‘How could Anya be so upbeat, yet so blatantly honest?’ Buffy shook her head, that was an question that no really knew the answer to.
“Aww, rough day?” Willow asked, concerned.
“I just hate working there,” responded Buffy, sullenly. “It’s just draining sometimes.” ‘Oh now that has some possibilities when I visit Spike later… naked Spike…Oh my, I need to stop.’ Buffy took a deep breath! ‘He keeps me up all night long…his lips…oh those lips…Soft and very kissable! Among other things!’ Buffy smiled a little, hoping no one noticed when she begun to blush! ‘Stop thinking like that – he’s evil – he has no soul – he’s a killer!
The slayer tried to convince herself of this frequently, but of course, her body had told her differently. Spike was like a drug and Buffy in a serious need of her fix. Simply put, she was craving Spike like he craved blood. There was no help for her. Buffy sigh!
‘Oh god’! A memory suddenly took her back to earlier in the morning. ‘The way he touches me – the way he kisses me – The way he oh god, I’m goner! I won’t last much longer if I can’t keep my own body in check! ‘Spike, take me away!’
Unbeknownst to Buffy, Xander had been watching her and had begun to worry about her. She was looking a little tired and…’what’s this, she’s blushing?’ In Xander Fashion, he opened up his big mouth, thinking he could help her realize she was in a serious need of a break.
“You’ve been going at it to hard, Buff.” Xander said comfortingly. “We hardly ever see you anymore, what with slinging that double meat, and pounding the big bad.” Suddenly Xander realized that didn’t come out exactly how it was intended. ‘Oh boy, that sounded bad.’ That didn’t sound very good.”
Buffy hadn’t know whether to be stunned or embarrassed, cause that’s exactly what she’d been doing, however, because she could reply, Anya said to her, “You’re looking a bit pounded.”
‘Oh god,’ Buffy thought mortified. ‘She knows!!!’
‘Just around the eyes,” Anya finished.
Suddenly relief washed over Buffy – she was so thankful that no one knew what was going on between her and Spike. Buffy took a deep cleansing breath and then felt guilty for not being honest with her friends. ‘I should just tell them and get it over with. I can’t stand lying to them…No, can’t. They just wouldn’t understand why I’m sleeping with Spike.”
Noticing the sudden change in Buffy, Willow decided it would be best to change the subject. She didn’t want to make her friend feel uncomfortable, whatever the reason was. “Hey, we’re thinking of heading to the Bronze later, wanna come, get all unwindy?”
Xander smiled at that. “Tall glasses of frosty relaxation on me.” He glanced at his friends, waiting for someone to reply. “Nector of the working man!”
“No, thanks.” Buffy told me. She was thinking of heading to Spike’s later. “I think I’ll stay here with Dawn.” She lied.
A horn blared outside as Buffy continued on obliviously. “Curl up on the sofa with a big bowl of popcorn and…” Buffy was interrupted by Dawn, who momentarily left the living room, and returned with her jacket. “Where are you going?”
“I’m…sleeping over at Janice’s,” Dawn replied with bag in her hand and hurried towards the door.
Rising to her feet, Buffy followed Dawn into the foyer. “And I’m falling for that again because of the surprise lobotomy?”
The red head followed Buffy, and said, “It’s ok, I checked it out. Janice’s mom is picking her up.” Willow smiled, reassuring to Buffy.
”Yeah,” Dawn chimed in. “That’s her now. Come on Buffy. Janice is waiting.”
Thinking on that for a moment, Buffy replied with a nod, “All right. You can go.”
Squealing, Dawn hugged Buffy, uncomforting. “Thanks!” Then quickly added, “besides, I didn’t think you’d be here tonight – you’re always gone.”
“I know.” Buffy again felt bad about all the lying. “I’m here now.” ‘Of course you’re leaving now.’ She added to herself.
Janice’s mother honked the horn a few more times, eagerly waiting to get back home; she had dinner waiting for the girls. Dawn glanced back at Buffy and could tell her sister really wanted to spend the evening with her.
“Do you want me to stay home? Cause I could tell her to go.”
“No! No. That’s ok. Just go. Have fun. I’ve got Willow, Xander and Anya to keep me coming.”
Dawn hugged Buffy quickly and left, slammed the door behind her. Turning towards Willow, “Frosty nectar, now please!”
Putting up a brave front, Buffy was dying on the inside – dying to be with Spike, but she figured a day away from him wouldn’t hurt her, she tried reasoning with herself, but failing miserably when her body was telling her to bold now, go see Spike. Buffy ignored the feeling, smiling once again for Willow.
“Oh good!” Willow smiled in return, eagerly wanting to leave. “We can have all the frosty nectar you want!”
“Let me go change and we can go.” Buffy glanced down at her ugly uniform, scrunching up her nose in disgust.
With that, Buffy headed upstairs while Willow went into the living room to inform everyone that they’d all be going soon.
TBC
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!