Chapter 1: Reunion

Like so many before it, the day had been long, and hard, and joyless. Whatever pleasure or pride she had taken in her calling before, it was gone now. Turned to dust like the never-ending procession of vampires she slayed. She had been dealing. But after that ghost possession thing – not so much.

It had surprised her a little that Angel’s apartment still looked the same, although she had known that it shouldn’t have. Obviously no one had disturbed the place since that horrible night when she had come here with Angel and woken up to the nightmare that was now her life.

She had been looking for a little respite - a place to escape from her friends, however well meaning, and be alone with her grief. She had wanted to feel close to him, one last time, to touch the things that he had touched, and to be reminded of the sweet and gentle man that he had been, rather than the monster that he had become. She realized now, standing in what had once been his apartment, that coming here had been a mistake. She had thought that enough time had gone by, that her feelings would be muted, manageable; that somehow this visit to the past would help her be able to put it to rest. She was finding the reverse to be true.

Standing among his things, she could almost feel Angel’s presence. She could almost convince herself that he had only just slipped out, and would be returning soon with hot tea and donuts, his idea of what she would like for breakfast. She still missed him terribly. If she was honest with herself, she knew that somewhere the girl inside her still clung to the belief that there was some way that she could banish Angelus again, and bring back her Angel.

Intellectually, she knew that it was a foolish dream, and as the Slayer, she knew it was a dangerous one. Giles had explained to her that it was impossible, and she trusted Giles’ judgment. But stubbornly she still hoped for a miracle. And because her heart refused to believe the truth, she couldn’t bring herself to kill Angelus yet, even when she had had the chance. Rationally, the only glimmer of hope she had to cling to was the knowledge that Angelus hadn’t been able to kill her either - despite all his bluster. In her fantasies she hoped that there was still a spark of Angel inside of Angelus, that a part of him still loved her.

The sheets had never been changed after their encounter here – and they still smelled like him. Moaning, she flung herself on the unmade bed and wrapped herself in the smell of him. And she lay there, gently shaking, until she cried herself to sleep.

The sound of a key in the lock had her awake instantly. By the time the light flicked on overhead, she was hidden in the mass of unruly covers on the bed, all but invisible to a casual inspection. Her mind whirled. Who else would come here? Her Watcher might, perhaps, but he didn’t have a key. The only other who came to mind terrified her – Angelus?

For his part, he had known that she would be in the apartment even before he had opened the door. That’s probably why he had felt the compulsion to come here tonight. Somehow he had known that she would be here – alone and physically and emotionally vulnerable. He spied her weapons casually discarded beside the door, closer to him than they were to her. Foolish, foolish girl, to ever think that she was safe, especially here.

Buffy could hear his footsteps as he entered and looked around the room that had once been his. Hearing his soft exclamation as he found her weapons dropped so carelessly next to the door. She knew that it was definitely Angelus. She sensed that he knew that she was here, and probably knew exactly where she was. She calculated her odds of being able to spring around him and reach her stakes or her axe - knew that they weren’t good. But what other weapons did she have? If she tried to fight, or to run, she knew that she would lose. Still she hoped that there was a part of Angel that remained. Just a tiny part of Angel, enough to make him hesitate before draining her. If her belief was true, then she had a chance, just a chance, that she would make it out of here alive.

That hope burned brighter as she realized that Angelus hadn’t picked up one of her weapons. And she could tell that he hadn’t yet changed into vamp face; she would have heard it in the timbre of his voice as her chastised her.

“Buffy, Buffy, Buffy? When will you learn you need to be careful?”

He sat on the bed and whispered to her still covered form. Of course he knew exactly where she was. It felt like she could hear her own heartbeat surging in her ears; of course it was even louder to him.

He continued whispering in her ear, so softly she could barely hear him over the racing of her own pulse. “There are bad men out there, and worse, that would love to take advantage of you.”

She had thought that she was scared before, but that was nothing to what she was feeling now. She knew that he could hear her heart pounding even harder, her breath quickening. When he reached out and gently caressed her form underneath the covers, unerringly finding her secret places, she had been completely unprepared. ‘Oh god,’ she panicked, ‘his hands feel like Angel.’ His touch was soft, sweet, gentle and so like Angel’s that she was disgusted to find her body responding. He must have known too, because he pulled back the covers, revealing her to his gaze, and smiled down at her. Staring into her eyes (so like Angel), he purred, “Did you miss me, lover?”

Buffy tried to push him away, but it was like trying to move a brick wall. Before she could even think what to try next, he had grabbed both her wrists and held them to her sides while he pressed his body down on top of her. He ground his erection into the flesh of her thigh, screwing her with their clothes on.

“You know you want to,” he whispered, tempting. “We can do it missionary if you like, just like with soul-boy. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He began slowly removing her clothing, caressing her skin as he exposed it to his gaze. Then his voice changed again, dropping the menacing tones, sounding more like Angel every second, “Buffy, Buffy, I love you, Buffy.” Then he laughed.

“Is that what he said? Is that all it took to get you to open your thighs to him? I hope you enjoyed it. And I’ve been meaning to thank you personally. If you hadn’t been so easy, I’d never have been able to cast him out.”

Buffy was furious. She knew she was completely vulnerable in this position. Perhaps if she could get him talking, she’d be able to gain herself some advantage.

“You didn’t cast him out,” she spat. “You don’t have the strength to take Angel on! It was that damned ‘happiness clause’ in the gypsy curse that banished his soul and let you out.”

She had meant to make him mad, but instead he laughed. It made him sloppy, and the pressure of his body eased up on her a bit. Using his distraction she began to slide out from under him and slip one hand free to reach for the stake that he hadn’t seen, the one that had fallen out of her clothes while she slept and rolled under the bed. She wasn’t so toothless as he thought, and he’d find that out if she could just stretch a little farther. But he caught her hand, brought it up to his lips.

“Is that what you think? Did your Watcher tell you that? You really are gullible aren’t you? Angel’s here, Buffy.” He put her hand on his unbeating chest, “Always here, inside me. You can still feel him inside me, can’t you? You know I’m telling you the truth.”

It was a lie. It was her fondest wish, but it had to be a lie. Giles had told her. Angel’s soul was banished back to the netherworld. There was no way to get it back. Angel was gone, completely gone. Nothing of him remained. But a nagging hope teased the back of her mind, ‘If there is nothing left of Angel in him, then why am I still so attracted to Angelus? And why hasn’t he killed me already?’ It couldn’t just be that he looked like Angel. She didn’t think she was that shallow.

An evil smile spread across Angelus’s face again. He was really enjoying playing with her mind, as well as her body. “I’ll prove it to you then. I’ll let you two talk alone for a while.” Without letting go of his hold on her, he bent over and opened the nightstand, took out a pair of handcuffs, then fastened her wrists to the bed. He smiled as he watched her struggle with the cuffs as he got up to put the keys on a table on the far side of the room. “Just to avoid any temptation,” Angelus explained. “If lover boy goes for the keys, I’ll be back in control before he can even reach the table.”

“I don’t believe you,” she stated. “It’s a trick.” She continued to try to find a way out of the handcuffs as he casually removed his coat, then his shirt and shoes, finally his pants. His body was just as she had imagined it would be- gorgeous, and completely… aroused. She had never seen Angel like this. It had been dark, and everything that had happened had taken place under the covers.

“I don’t really care what you believe,” he replied, strutting a little, making sure she had a good view. “Although since this may be the last time you see each other, I suggest that you take advantage of it.” He stalked over towards her and looked down at her still struggling form.

“You know, with those cuffs on,” he said conversationally, “I’m beginning to see what it was he saw in you.” He unfastened her blouse and began to tug her pants down. “You might want to ask him about that, you know.” At her confused look he explained, “the handcuffs. I didn’t bring them with me. Didn’t expect to find you here when I set out tonight, now did I?” His grin grew wider as he continued, “Just think about it Buffy. Those cuffs belonged to your saintly Angel.” One free hand rummaged in the open drawer again, pulling something else out. “So did this.”

Buffy’s eyes went wide as Angelus produced a many-corded whip from the same nightstand drawer. “He wasn’t as much of a fool as you thought, he had plans for you, too.” He wasn’t about to tell her what Angel had really used the whip and cuffs for.

Angel had used to chain himself to a pipe on the ceiling by one hand, and then had whipped himself with the other. He had been trying to atone for past sins. To beat the stain and evil out of himself. Only problem was that it had always made him hard.

Of course Angel had taken that as a kind of penance too. And he had forced himself to leave the tension unabated, sometimes for days, unwilling to allow himself relief until he had found some good deed to do, some old lady to save, or until he had seen Buffy again. Sometimes the longing had been so intense that he had found himself nearly climaxing while they kissed. Buffy had never touched him, until the night they had made love in this bed.

Angelus wasn’t sure what he expected from this encounter anymore, but he was sure that it would be entertaining. He didn’t know if she would really believe that he could let the Angel personality free, but he was sure that it would be fun either way. He gave her another evil grin, “The next voice you hear will be Angel. But don’t worry, lover; I can take control again whenever I want. I won’t let him hurt you.”

Buffy watched as Angelus turned his face away from her, and his whole body shook. She could see that something was happening to Angelus, but she wasn’t sure what, or whether the changes were real. The first thing she noticed was that the smile was gone from his face. His posture had changed too – he wasn’t swaggering over her anymore. When she dared to look at his face, she was startled to see the pain in his eyes. Angel’s eyes.

A whisper passed her lips, “Angel?”

He looked at her then, more lost than she had ever seen him. The voice that came from his lips was warm with love and despair. For all the world, it sounded like Angel. What he said was, “No.” Then, “It doesn’t matter. Don’t let him get to you.” He touched her cheek gently. “I wish I could let you go. Help you get away from him. But he’s fixed it so that I can’t. He’s evil Buffy. Everything he does, it’s because he’s evil. Even this – he wants to torture us both. Let you think there’s still hope, when there isn’t any.”

Buffy was hardly listening, so intently was she watching him. She tried to lift her hands to his face, but the cuffs restrained her. “Angel, is that really you? Are you really still there, watching what he does?” Buffy wasn’t sure just who she was dealing with – Angel or Angelus pretending to be Angel. But whoever he was, he thought that he knew Buffy.

Angel’s jaw clenched. Buffy never listened to anything he said. And it had always made him angry, although he had tried not to let it show. “I told you it doesn’t matter. You need to promise me, promise me that you’ll kill him, the next chance you get.” He brought his hands up to her face and stroked her hair.

She still wasn’t sure what to think about the man before her. Was it really Angel, or Angelus pretending to be Angel to taunt her? The next thing she knew he was kissing her, and she wanted so badly to believe that it really was Angel who was holding her, stroking her, making her want him.

Her body responded as if it was Angel, and she was desperate to believe that it was true. She cried as she tried to reach for him. Angel was kissing away her tears. Her mind was in turmoil, but her body knew what it wanted.

It was so easy – Angelus had made sure that Angel was already almost on top of her and they were both already naked. Without conscious decision on her part, he was suddenly inside her. Fleetingly she realized that she did not feel any physical pain this time- only pleasure and desperation.

It began gentle and soothing, as if his cock inside her was just an extension of his arms holding her, giving comfort. They both continued to cry as they made love again, afraid that it would be over too soon – that she would lose him again – if it really was Angel she held in her arms.

God, it felt like Angel. But what if it really was Angelus she was letting fuck her? What if had all been a trick? Suddenly an idea came to her, a way to know for sure- though she was loath to do it. But her need to know was stronger than her desire for comfort or release. Once she had thought of it, the idea wouldn’t go away.

Angel would stop if she asked him to, Angelus wouldn’t.

“Angel.” She kissed him deeply to take the sting out of her words. “Stop. We shouldn’t do this. You need to stay in control. You need to fight him.”

In answer Angel kissed her hand and looked in her eyes again. The same sad expression lingered on his face as he slowly pulled away from her. Without warning his expression suddenly changed, as if someone had shut out the light. And without hesitation Buffy was sure that it was now Angelus who was looking down at her.

“Sorry, lover,” he laughed, “but Angel has left the building. Long time ago, actually, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself so I didn’t want to mention it.” He laughed again. Angelus always seemed to be laughing at her, “I knew I could ‘make love’ just like him.”

He thrust forward a few more times until he finally shuddered and came. Then he pulled himself out and sat back on his knees and stretched. “Boring, wasn’t it? Except for the ‘who am I now’ part. That was fun.” As if to prove his point he yawned widely. “You didn’t even climax once. Remind me – did you come for the poof the first time? Perhaps you’re just frigid.” The cat-like smirk came back. “Or perhaps you just haven’t found the right partner yet.” He crawled over and stuck two fingers in her cunt.

Incredibly Buffy noticed he was still hard. It wasn’t over yet. She knew that she would only get one good shot at him. She needed to really hurt him. Disabling him for a few minutes wouldn’t do her any good – she was still cuffed to the bed. But he hadn’t been able to cuff her legs, and he was going to regret it. Her left leg came down hard on the hand that was inside her – instantly followed by the right, which caught him hard in the chest and threw him across the room. She knew she had broken his wrist, and probably a few of his ribs as well. She was sure now that he’d do one of two things – either kill her outright, or leave to nurse his wounds and come back to torture her another day.

Instead he laughed, again. She was really coming to hate that laugh. “That’s my girl!” he roared. “That’s what I like! A girl with a little spunk!” This time Angelus made sure that he had a wide berth past the foot of the bed, well out of reach of her legs. He approached the front of the bed instead, leaned over and whispered in her ear, his still erect cock pressed close to her face, “If you cooperate, I won’t hurt you. I’ll call your Watcher to come get you. But if you don’t – if you try to hurt me – not only will it not work- but I’ll leave you here while I go take care of your Mother and Watcher both. And then just so you know it wasn’t a bluff, I’ll set their corpses on the couch so they can watch what I do to you next. Understand?”

Buffy wasn’t quite sure what he had in mind, but she understood the threat well enough. She had already been tricked into letting him rape her, was he asking her not to struggle while he killed her?

Angelus seemed to be getting impatient, what was he waiting for? What did he want? All she wanted at this point was to go down fighting. Once she was dead, she hoped that he’d at least unchain her and compose her body so that it wasn’t quite so obvious what had happened, but she rather doubted Angelus would bother.

Apparently she had taken too long. Angelus was whispering to her again, as if they were best friends. “We could try the whip, if you prefer? Or should we save that for another time?”

Another time? What was he talking about? She was as good as dead already. She just wanted to go out with as much dignity as possible, considering the circumstances.

“Buffy, Buffy, Buffy,” she hated the sound of her name in his mouth, “still such an innocent. I told you, I’m not planning on killing you yet – unless you force me to. In fact, I’m not planning on hurting you at all. Well, at least not much. Just lie back and relax. You might even enjoy it.”

Buffy opened her mouth to protest, as Angelus straddled her. “There now. That’s it. Just relax, take it all in. Because it’s your first time, I’ll start out slow.”

She couldn’t speak, could hardly breathe, because suddenly her mouth was full of him. Buffy thought this was the single most disgusting thing she had ever done in her life. If he hadn’t threatened her mother she never would have put up with it, consequences be damned. She could scarcely breathe. Just the thought of what he was doing made her want to vomit, until he came in her mouth, and then she really did feel physically ill as he stroked her throat and forced her to swallow.

Finally he began pulling on his clothes. “Well,” he said. “That was better. See- you can learn – you just needed a good teacher. Unfortunately it’s getting close to dawn and there are still some things I need to do tonight. Otherwise I would have been able to spend more time with you.” He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in a gesture that again reminded her of the man he used to be. “But then, I guess we can’t always get what we want. I suppose that you would know something about that.” He started heading for the door. “Bye lover. Till next time.”

She was still feeling sick. Besides, she didn’t want to dignify this ‘relationship’ by actually talking to him. Instead she rattled her chains at him, reminding him of his promise. As if he would care.

He looked back at her and grinned again. “Almost forgot to call your Watcher to uncuff you. Unless you wouldn’t mind just waiting there for me to come back- might be a few days though. As I said, I have other things to do besides you - gorgeous as you may be.” He picked her cell phone off the floor and began to dial.

“No.” Buffy hated to say it. Hated to give in to the words she needed to say. He wouldn’t listen anyway. But the thoughts of Giles finding her violated like this…she had to say something. “Don’t… don’t call Giles. I don’t want him to see me like this.”

There was that damn Cheshire grin again. “Why? Afraid the old goat might want some for himself?” At Buffy’s horrified look he laughed again. “As you like. Who then, Willow? Or Xander? That would be fun.”

But Buffy stopped him again. “No – call Ms. Calendar. She’s in the memory.” Buffy didn’t know her that well, but Jenny Calendar was a woman of the world. She might be shocked and appalled by the state Buffy was in, but she’d be practical about it. She wouldn’t panic, or lecture her, or cause her to die of complete and total embarrassment.

Angelus was already off the phone. He retrieved the key from the table and kissed her on the cheek. Then he unlocked her right hand, using the extra cuff to fasten her securely to the bed again. He casually tossed her her underwear. “I told her I’d leave a key under the mat. It’s your key. Feel free to come back and use the apartment any time you miss me. I’ll rush right over.” And then he was gone and Buffy was left alone in the apartment, trying to make herself look presentable with one hand still cuffed to the bed.

___

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Chapter 2: Reprise

“I have told you how bad an idea this is, haven’t I?” Buffy had tried not to dwell on the events of the prior week, but it had been hard to get Angelus out of her mind. Now it was going to be even worse.

“Yes, Buffy. Several times in fact,” Giles sighed. He didn’t understand why she was being so difficult.

“Then I don’t think that I’ve said it strongly enough. I really, really, don’t want to do this.”

“Why?” Giles persisted. “I can understand that it might have some unpleasant associations for you, but really, your reluctance is quite irrational. It’s broad daylight. It won’t be dark for hours, and we’ll be long gone before any vampires could possibly be abroad.”

Despite his assurances, Buffy trembled as she put the key in the lock to Angel’s old apartment. Giles didn’t know what had happened here, and if Buffy had her way, he never would. But coming back to Angel’s apartment, again, seemed a terribly stupid thing to do. Besides, she knew that there would be nothing of value here. Angelus had been back and cleaned the place out of anything at all useful. She knew, she had been here. But she couldn’t exactly tell him that without letting on that she had at least seen Angelus here – and that could lead to all sorts of badness and discussions that she didn’t want to have.

Everything looked pretty much the same as she had left it. The handcuffs were no longer on the floor where she had thrown them, for which she was entirely grateful. But it was obvious to her that the place had already been stripped of anything of interest. Angelus had seen to that.

Giles searched the titles on the bookshelf and rummaged around in some drawers. Again Buffy breathed a sigh of relief that Angelus’s, no Angel’s, toys were no where to be seen. Uncomfortably, Buffy just stood around waiting, until Giles finally admitted defeat and said he was ready to leave. She almost shook with relief as Giles locked the door behind them and they started down the hallway.

Just as her Watcher turned to follow her, another door opened, and a little old lady peered out.

“Oh, I was hoping that you were Angel.” She looked at Buffy more closely. “You’re his girl, aren’t you? I’ve seen you here before.” Buffy remembered the eyes peering at her and Angel that night. The night that began this horrible chain of events. “He always has such nice things to say about you. But I thought that your father lived out of town?”

Buffy blushed. “Oh, Giles is not my father. He’s a teacher at my school.”

Giles recovered himself enough to remember his manners. He held out a hand. “Rupert. Rupert Giles. Pleased to meet you.”

The old lady nodded. “I’m Mrs. Halliwell, since Buffy seems to have forgotten that we’d already met. You don’t happen to know when Angel will be back, do you? Oh, I guess he had to go out of town on business. But I so depend on him for little things around the house. Could I possibly impose on you Mr. Giles? It will just take a moment. It’s just so difficult to do anything these days.”

She was heading back into her apartment, Giles in her wake. “I just need you to open a few jars – change a light bulb – things like that. It’s funny how you depend on someone, and suddenly they’re gone and you don’t know what to do. Come in, come in, both of you. I’ll just point you in the right direction and I’ll make us some tea as a thank you. I do so enjoy company. Nobody’s been to visit me since Angel left.”

Helplessly Buffy and Giles allowed themselves to be shepherded into the apartment. A half hour later, Buffy was shooting daggers at Giles, who was still trying graciously to complete an endless list of small tasks, when there was a knock on the door.

Mrs. Halliwell cheered, “More company? I wonder who it could be? Come in.” Buffy gasped as she recognized Angelus framed in the doorway. Mrs. Halliwell gushed, “Angel. We were just talking about you and how we all missed you.”

Angelus put on a cheery smile. “Thank you, Mrs. Halliwell, but I need to see Buffy for a minute. You can keep Giles company for a bit, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Buffy tried to make a stand. “I’m not going anywhere with you.” Angelus just smiled broader and gestured to the two thugs he had brought along with him and who were lounging at the other end of the hall. He turned back to Buffy, “I’m sure that Mrs. Halliwell would advise us that these silly quarrels of ours just aren’t worth it in the end. We need to resolve things between us, Buffy, and it really would be too bad if we had to drag others into our quarrel. And my friends and I have already been invited in.”

The threat was clear. Both Giles and Mrs. Halliwell would suffer if she didn’t go across the hall with her supposed beau. Besides, she still had her stakes. Daylight or not, she never went anywhere unprepared anymore.

With a look to Giles, she stepped out into the hall. If she could just catch him off guard and dust him the minions would probably flee. “How’d you get in here, anyway? It’s still the middle of the afternoon.”

Angelus grinned and grabbed her arm to take her further towards the privacy of his own apartment. “This building has sewer access. That’s the reason Angel chose it to begin with. Did you really tell Mrs. Halliwell that you missed me? You must, or you wouldn’t have come here. I thought I made myself pretty clear that if you came back, I’d meet you here again.”

She pulled her arm away and pushed him into the apartment. No need to have the neighbors witness Angelus’s dusty ending. “Of course not. I’m here because Giles insisted and I couldn’t very well tell him why I didn’t want to come here. We’d have been long gone if that Mrs. Halliwell hadn’t stopped us in the hall.”

“Yeah, good bit of planning, wasn’t it?”

Buffy realized that there was something important that she had missed. It wasn’t just how and Angelus had managed to make it to the apartment complex in broad daylight, it was how he had known that she was here. “Most disgusting thing I ever ate – but it was worth it considering the results.”

“You don’t mean… that nice old lady?”

“Yep. I turned her and left her here to tip me off should you ever drop by again. She also had orders to detain you until I was able to get here – pretty creative way to do it, if I do say so myself.” He rocked back and forth on his heels as if expecting her praise. When she had been silent a few moments he continued, “Now she’s got her reward,” he vamped and leaned towards her unprotected neck, “and I’ve got mine.”

Nimbly Buffy avoided his embrace, one arm pushing him carelessly away while the other stalled somewhere near her mouth. “Oh God. Giles doesn’t know…”

Seeing her agitation, Angelus’s features returned to their human guise. He had an uncontrollable urge to take her into his arms and comfort her – and where did that thought come from? Even more surprising were the words that he heard coming out of his mouth.

“Relax. I think Mrs. Halliwell’s having too much fun with her ‘gentleman caller’ to eat him anytime soon. She always was a lonely old soul. Oh, but she’s got no soul now – well- she’s still lonely. Maybe she’ll turn him.”

“Over my dead body,” Buffy retorted and in a flash her stake was in her hand.

His moment of temporary insanity disappeared instantly when he saw the stake. Instinctively Angelus vamped and lunged for her neck once again. After his moment of almost compassion, Buffy wasn’t ready for such an abrupt about face. Instead of Angelus hesitating that crucial second, she found that she was the one who couldn’t bring herself to attack the man in front of her. The moment of tenderness had her resolve wavering, and somehow her stake went wide. Buffy felt his fangs at her throat.

Angelus had never felt anything so intoxicating. The Slayer’s blood burned its way down his throat and set off a series of explosions like fireworks behind his eyes, shooting the pleasure all the way down to his cock. The feeling was at the same time more intense than the strongest orgasm, and lasted longer. Without experiencing it for oneself, it was a sensation that could never be adequately described.

It had all happened so quickly. Already sensing that this was the end, Buffy could feel her strength slipping away. She almost welcomed it. If Angel was really gone, then she was ready to go with him. Wasn’t it better to go in the arms that had once belonged to her beloved, rather than some random vamp or demon? And perhaps Angelus did love her – after a fashion.

Just as she was sliding away into nothingness, she felt his lips tear from her neck. Distantly she thought that she heard the words she never thought she would hear again, “God, I love you Buffy!” before she felt him embrace her in a final kiss. Surely she had imagined the words.

She knew that it was Angelus who held her in his deadly embrace, or she wouldn’t be dying, would she? It was only her heart that imagined it was Angel, that imagined that he had spoken the words that she longed for.

Angelus stopped completely still for a moment. What had possessed him to say that he loved her? There was nothing of Angel left in him. Nothing.

Imagining that any part of Angel had survived had only been a trick that he had played on the Slayer. Hadn’t it? It must be that the demon regarded this woman as its property. The demon wasn’t ready to give up its toy just yet. Besides, her blood had excited him as nothing before ever had. He was desperate to have her at least one more time.

Giving in to his desire, Angelus bent to kiss her lips one more time, and was amazed to find her opening her mouth to him, willingly accepting and returning his passion. Hungrily he plundered her mouth and nipped at her lower lip. Nearly gagging, the Slayer tasted more of her own blood flowing from his mouth into hers. The kiss deepened further until she had to force him far enough away that she could draw a breath. Reflexively she swallowed.

Immediately she felt a burning sensation spreading upwards from the soles of her feet. The feeling of lassitude was instantly replaced by a burning need. Without conscious thought she was tearing into Angelus’s lips again, sucking traces of her blood from his mouth and teeth.

Angelus felt the change in her as Buffy suddenly became the aggressor. One moment she had been dying, and now she was hungrily returning his kisses and licking her own blood from his face.

Angelus was no fool. He had never tasted Slayer’s blood before, but he knew what it was and had been prepared for his own reaction to it. What he hadn’t known was that the Slayer herself would not be immune to it. Slayer's blood was a powerful aphrodisiac; even it seemed, to the Slayer herself.

He thought quickly. Her body regenerated fast. If he didn’t take any more blood from her she might yet live. It wasn’t unusual for vampires to keep captives alive for weeks, sometimes months while they fed from them. If he was careful with her now, she might survive.

The demon was ecstatic. Gods, if only he could find a way to keep her! His own private stock of Slayer blood to have whenever he wanted!

Prisoners were often kept chained, or in a semi-hypnotized state of thrall. But neither would work with this girl. Chains would be far too dangerous. She was, after all, the Slayer. And unfortunately Dru was the master of thrall, not him.

He’d worry about the future later. Right now he had more important things to do.

They were on the bed in seconds, their clothes a mere inconvenience and easily shed. He was shocked that Buffy met and matched his every blood-enhanced desire. He still wasn’t quite sure why she was even still alive. The blood he had already taken should have left her comatose, or worse. Perhaps Slayers healed faster than he ever imagined.

He was grateful. He’d much rather have her an active participant, willing or unwilling. Screwing her while she was unconscious just wouldn’t have the same appeal. He wanted her to know what had happened to her. Wanted her to have to admit to herself that he was the one who had brought her to completion again and again. Him, Angelus, not that pansy ass Angel she had thought she loved. Angel’s gentle touch on her virginal skin had only made Buffy lukewarm. Now it was as if Angelus’ s touch had inflamed her.

Inspired by the thought of outdoing his alter ego, Angelus brought the girl beneath him to orgasm again and again, holding off his own release as long as possible. It was incredible. He continued to pound into her heat with a force that a mere mortal could never have withstood. She responded by raking her nails across his bare shoulder, hugging him tightly to her with a fierce possessiveness he had never experienced before. Not from Dru, and certainly never from Darla.

At last she climaxed for a final time, and Buffy lay still beneath him, unconscious. Her blood still thrummed through his veins – igniting him and making his senses reel as he finally allowed himself to climax. Struggling to come down from his own orgasm, he contemplated the still form on the bed. The way she had reacted, the way she needed more and more of him. He almost hated to admit it, but it had been one of the best fucks of his life – and that was saying something.

And she was still not dead. He could hear her heart beating, feel her breath warm on his chest. Idly he considered whether to finish the job now that she was exhausted and vulnerable. He wanted to taste her again – to let the power of her blood fill him until he couldn’t stand it anymore. But inevitably that would lead to wanting to fuck her again – and he knew from experience that fucking a corpse was just damned unsatisfying.

It was getting dark out. Dru and the others would be waking up soon, and wondering where he was. But it would be like going back to drinking two-dollar wine after his first sip of fine champagne. Grudgingly Angelus admitted that something inside him actually liked this girl. He admired her strength, and exalted in her submission to him. He enjoyed the way that she clung to him as she climaxed again and again. His ego wouldn’t be satisfied until he heard her shout his name while she came.

When he wasn’t thinking of killing or fucking her, he could remember how much Angel had cared for this girl. It was a feeling that Angelus was unfamiliar with, but the affects of Angel’s emotions somehow seemed to linger. It was confusing him. She was his natural enemy; he should want to kill her. Needed to kill her. But he found suddenly that he couldn’t bear the thought of her dead.

His mind whirled. There were still so many unexplored possibilities. She was immature and trusting. Could possibly be manipulated. If she could be persuaded not to hunt him, to leave him and his alone… it was possible she might become an ally instead. He could only imagine how powerful he could become if he controlled the Slayer. He could steer her towards vampires from rival clans, and there were plenty of those. If he wanted, he could rule the hellmouth in no time. Hell, he could rule all of California if he had a few lieutenants that he could trust.

As he pulled out of her warm body and began putting on his clothes he continued thinking. Acting rashly was never a good idea. Something had changed between them. She had responded to him physically, and he knew that she was young and naïve enough to think that that meant something. He could use her naivete to his advantage.

First of all, he had to decide what it was that he wanted from her, and how he could reasonably expect her to react. Then all he had to do was devise a plan to make sure that everything unfolded the way that he wanted it to. He was good at that. For now, he’d keep all his options open.

That meant leaving the Slayer alive and feeling kindly disposed towards him. He could do that.

Gently, he shook her awake. “Buffy, you should check on your Watcher and both go home before nightfall.” God, he sounded like Angel, even to his own ears.

“Can’t,” came the sleepy reply. “Can’t move. Don’t want to.” Her first experience of sex with Angel had been nothing compared to this. Her sleepy mind wondered at the change.

“Buffy, he’ll be worried about you. Plus, well, I don’t think that Mrs. Halliwell will harm him – but fledglings are often stupid. We’d best check up on them – don’t you think?”

That brought her awake immediately. She was with Angelus, not Angel. “My God, Giles! You left him alone with that horrible old vampire woman next door.”

She got up and began frantically looking for her clothes.

“Why are you being nice to me all of a sudden? Shouldn’t I be dead right about now?”

“Always one to look a gift horse in mouth, aren’t you Buff? I’m not really sure myself – maybe the incredible sex had something to do with it, made me feel generous. Maybe it’s just my inner Angel. I admit that I came here fully intending to kill you – but now I find myself looking for excuses to let you live. But you’d better go quickly, before I change my mind.”

“Yeah, like you could take me now. That was a fluke, earlier.” Buffy’s emotions were in turmoil, so she lashed out at the nearest target. “This sex thing was a mistake. I don’t know why I let you near me. You must have caught me off guard, somehow made me believe that you were Angel.”

She must have thought that, hadn’t she? She would never have willingly slept with the devil. Best to be clear about her intentions. At least, once she was a little closer to the safety of the door.

“Don’t think that this is ever going to happen again. Next time I see you, you are so dead.”

Angelus was unconcerned. “Yeah. Right. I’ll remember that.”

Buffy began to pull open the door when she heard his insouciant voice drawl, “You might want to take these with you.”

Angelus was holding out two wooden stakes. Buffy stalked back to him and took the offending objects.

Without a word she strode back and ripped open the apartment door. Two astonished vamps peered back at her. Doubtless they’d heard most of everything that went on inside the apartment, but they’d expected Angelus to emerge, not the Slayer. They took one quick look at one another, and then hightailed it back towards the laundry room and the sewer entrance. She turned back to look at Angelus for a second.

“I guess good help is hard to find.”

Slamming the door behind her, she hurried over to the other basement apartment, and opened the door without knocking. As nonchalantly as she could, she took in the domestic scene before her – Giles and Mrs. Halliwell playing cards, complete with tea and an assortment of cookies spread out on the table.

Her relief was palpable. “Let’s go Giles.”

Quickly Giles made his good byes and accompanied Buffy down the hallway. “I was afraid for you, Buffy. But I knew that I could trust you to do the right thing. To kill Angelus once and for all. Though it did seem to take rather a long time. Was it very painful?”

Blushing crimson, Buffy stammered, “I…I didn’t kill him. I tried to, but he was too strong for me. He could have killed me, Giles. But he let me go. Are you all right Giles?”

Giles was turning pale. “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? Are you sure that you’re quite all right, Buffy? He didn’t… hurt you, did he?” Was he finally getting a clue as to what was going on here? "And, not that I’m complaining, but why would Angelus let you go free, Buffy?”

She was still beet red. “We… talked. He claims that he can still feel Angel inside of him. That Angel is coloring his view of the world. That’s why he let me go. Not that he doesn’t still want to kill me. I don’t know. He’s confused I guess, by emotions that he’s not used to.”

“So you’ve reached a temporary truce with him? Is that it? But you did kill the minions, didn’t you?” Giles didn’t understand. Why would she make a truce with Angelus?

“Not exactly. They took off.” Let him make of that what he would. She was angry. She was uncomfortable with Giles questioning her, and knew she couldn’t bear to tell him anything resembling the truth. She needed to strike out at something. Besides, it would distract Giles from his current line of questioning.

“There is one more thing I should do before we go.” Without pause she strode back to the apartment Giles had just left. As Mrs. Halliwell opened the door, Buffy’s stake flew up, and the dust of Mrs. Halliwell fell around her.

Now it was Giles’s turn to stutter. “She was a vampire? That nice old lady?”

“Yeah. Apparently Angelus turned her so that she’d tell him if I ever came back – um – if we ever came here. That’s why I’m so glad that you’re okay.”

“We drank tea and played cards! She seemed like a perfectly sweet little old lady. Perfectly normal.” Giles was polishing his spectacles now. “Except she did make a pass at me once or twice, but I thought I was imagining it. Oh, dear lord. How could I not have known?”

“Yeah. She could have easily drained you at any time. But she didn’t.”

“She seemed perfectly normal. If she was influenced by bloodlust, she was obviously able to control it.”

Buffy couldn’t resist the jibe, “Kinda makes you think twice about the Council dogma about vampires being mindless animals. About there being no part of the person that survives.”

Buffy couldn’t help but wonder at the truth. If the personality of the host really did have that much influence over the demon, then perhaps there was something of Angel left in Angelus. Perhaps she hadn’t been imagining that he had softened towards her. Perhaps it was still possible that they could have a future together.

___

A/N: As I may have mentioned somewhere, the bulk of this story is ready to go. So the faster you review, the faster I'll post it.

3. Rendezvous

The next several days dragged by slowly for Buffy. As she listlessly continued her nightly patrols, she found her mind wandering back to her latest encounter with Angelus. She couldn’t quite figure out when things had changed between them. Their last meeting had started the same way they always did: with each of them intending to kill the other.

But that last time it hadn’t ended that way. She had fallen asleep in his arms, and he had let her leave of her own free will. She couldn’t understand his actions. If it had been the other way around, she would have staked the unconscious vampire without a moment’s remorse. Wouldn’t she?

The sex had been fantastic, but she had no illusions about it. It was just sex. All she could think was that something about being so near to death must have triggered a reflex reaction. She had heard about how people who had near death experiences often felt a profound need to reaffirm life afterwards – often through increased sexuality. Something like that must have happened to her. Because she had taken Angelus to bed willingly this last time. She still couldn’t justify it rationally.

She sighed, twirling her stake carelessly while she meandered through the gravestones. She no longer cared if she slayed anything or not. Instead her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of hard skin and wet kisses. Unconvincingly she tried to tell herself that it was Angel she was fantasizing about and not his evil twin. God, how had she ever gotten herself into such a predicament?

But what was done was done. Even if the attraction was only physical, (of course it was only physical!), she had to admit that her body now ached for his.

Any sane person could tell that Angelus was most emphatically not Angel. Angelus was not the man she had fallen in love with. Every moment she spent with him was another moment when he could have killed her. Her life had been in danger the entire time they were together. In fact, she had very nearly died.

But her body didn’t seem to care. She had partaken of the forbidden fruit, and now her body wanted his desperately. She was determined to be stronger than her primal urges.

Unhappily she was coming to realize that she was just as miserable now as she had been when Angelus had first made his presence known. Perhaps more so. But she would deal.

She just had to keep telling herself that she did not want Angelus. Absolutely not. Definitely. No way. She would stake him as soon as she saw him. No chance of parole. No conversation, and definitely no kissing. No touching of any kind. None.

No sooner had she made this resolve, than she felt his presence nearby. Fine. She was ready for him. She got out her stake.

She heard him before she saw him. After a moment she made out his form through the bushes. He was not more than ten feet in front of her, fighting for his life.

As she watched, another vampire burst into dust besides him, and the two huge demons that were attacking him redoubled their efforts. Demons attacking demons? That was unusual, but not unheard of.

Without conscious thought Buffy spurred towards the fight, crying out as she watched one of the demons slice a gash through Angel’s stomach, while the other tried to circle around him and attack from behind.

By the time she was close enough to affect the outcome, Angel was already flat on his back on the ground. Quickly Buffy attacked the demon that had slashed him with the sword, grabbing the weapon from its startled grasp and slicing off its head. Without the element of surprise, the second kill was harder than the first. She could see how two of these things could seriously challenge an equal number of vamps, even if one of them was Angel. It was a good thing she had gotten hold of the other one’s sword, even if it wasn’t her favorite weapon. It had a long reach, and she needed that against a much larger opponent.

With a last grunt, she finally got the thing to stop moving. She wished demons disintegrated like vamps did, so she could be sure that it was dead. At least it had had the good graces to fall over into a bush, so it was pretty much hidden from view. She wondered if there was something that lived in Sunnydale that took care of all the dead bodies – because it there wasn’t the town would smell like a charnel house.

Bad guys disposed of, she rinsed her hands off in a nearby water fountain, then turned her eyes back to the prone figure on the ground. At least Angel wasn’t dust, so she knew that he’d be okay.

The vampire didn’t move at all as she approached, and if she didn’t know that he’d have dusted if he were dead, she would have been more worried. Bending over and pulling back the tattered remains of his shirt to inspect his wounds, she belatedly realized what she had done.

The vampire that she had rushed to protect was Angelus, not Angel. In the heat of the moment she hadn’t thought, just reacted. She had risked her own life to save the vampire she had just sworn to herself that she was going to dust! Instinctively she had seen him in danger, and rushed to protect him.

Damn him! Now what was she supposed to do? If he had tried to attack her, or if he had been harming an innocent, she wouldn’t have hesitated to stake him. Isn’t that what she had just told herself? There would have been no question of letting him live. But seeing him lying there completely helpless, injured and unmoving, she just couldn’t leave him. What if the thing that came for the demon bodies took Angelus as well?

While Buffy was wrestling with her conscience, Angelus was slowly beginning to come around. At first he wasn’t sure where he was. Then he remembered fighting the Toloid demons, being concerned as he’d watched his companion Vergil turn to dust. But he didn’t remember Buffy being involved. After all, she would have little part in a clan war.

Angelus didn’t like showing weakness in front of Buffy. Although he was now conscious, he was still in a precarious position. It would take a while for his wounds to heal. He just thanked the stars that for some reason she wasn’t trying to kill him, or he knew that he’d already be dead. Weren’t they mortal enemies?

Of course the last time they had met, he had let her go. Maybe she was just returning the favor. But then again, something had seemed to change between them that day. She had repaid him by dusting his minion, but he was rather glad to be rid of the ancient crone anyway. She had served her purpose.

For the moment at least he was at a disadvantage, so he wasn’t going to complain if there was a cease in the hostilities. If Buffy wanted to continue the truce, he was good with that.

Clearing the dust from his throat he raised his head to speak to her, attempting to sound even weaker than he really was. He didn’t really know how she was going to react to his being awake. Just in case he had to act quickly, he wanted to be sure that she would over estimate his injuries.

Shaken by the way Angelus seemed so weak, Buffy was again reminded of Angel. Not that Angel had been weak, but he had been cautious around her – never letting her see his true potential. Angelus was not like that. Her rational self knew that the vampire in her lap was dangerous, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel it. She had to keep reminding herself to be suspicious of every move he made.

Somehow as he struggled to speak, her unconscious again took control, and all she could think was to ask, “Angel, are you going to be okay?”

He smiled weakly. “Sure. Just a little winded. They caught us by surprise. Stupid really. You’d think that I’d know better at my age.”

She smiled a little at that. He had actually made a joke! For now at least he seemed quite content to rest in her lap. And was he actually flirting with her?

“Why were you fighting another demon?” The question popped out before she could control it.

“Just a little disagreement.” Trying to pull himself together he looked directly into her sea green eyes and told her the truth, wondering how she would react to it. “You wouldn’t think it to look at me just now, but I am the Master of Sunnydale. Some folks took exception to the idea. They’ll all fall in line soon.”

“Master of Sunnydale! Guess I should have stayed out of it. If I had let them kill you for me, it would have made my life so much easier.”

She had saved him? He hadn’t known that. He’d thought it had been Vergil.

“Thanks. I appreciate it. Guess we’re even now.” She looked surprised so he elaborated. “I didn’t kill you when I had the chance. You returned the favor.”

She thought back to the events of the week before. “I suppose. Though I’m not sure why I rescued you. I didn’t mean to. They were attacking you. I didn’t think, I just reacted.” She moved her hands to tear off a piece of his shirt to help stem the flow of his blood. “I wouldn’t count on it happening again. As soon as I get you fixed up, we’ll be back to the being enemies thing.”

“That’s my Buffy,” he laughed softly, making sure to turn it into a hacking cough before falling silent again. “All with the making no sense. Why not just have done with it and dust me now?”

Tensely waiting for her reply, he made no move to leave her embrace. Of course, he wasn’t quite as incapacitated as he was pretending, but she had piqued his interest. Would she really just let him go free without any repercussions?

“I …I’m not really sure. I guess, like you said, cause you let me go last time. It just doesn’t seem fair to dust you when you’re all helpless and everything.” She paused to sigh, looking into his eyes as if she might find his soul hiding there. “Why did you do you let me go, anyway?” Unconsciously her hand was fondling the hair at the back of his neck.

For a moment, he let himself enjoy the caress as their eyes met and held.

“Dunno. Didn’t really feel like killing you right at that moment, I guess. Didn’t want to take unfair advantage.”

“Angelus, not wanting to take unfair advantage. Why does that seem odd?”

“Hey, demons have honor.” He was offended now. “Just because I am no longer the vamp you knew, just because we’re enemies now, doesn’t mean I don’t want to take you fair and square.”

Even as the words left his lips he knew that he didn’t mean what he said, or at least, not the way he had at first intended. Oh, he wanted to take her fair and square all right, but he wanted to take her right here in the grass, repeatedly. Not necessarily in a violent way, although that would be okay too. And although there might be some blood involved, it wasn’t her death that he was interested in. She still had her hand in his hair, and pretty soon he was gonna have to touch her, or he was going to explode.

“God, why do you have to make this harder? If you’d been all Grrr, I wouldn’t have hesitated to dust you. But now, with the wounding, and the talking, you seem more and more like Angel and less like Angelus.”

Why were her words making him so angry? Wasn’t that the plan, to make her confuse the two of them so he’d be able to catch her unawares? Inexplicably, it was suddenly important to him that she realize the truth.

Turning his face away from her he almost growled his reply. “I’m not. I’m not Angel. Even if sometimes I remind you of him, I am not him. I will never be him.”

“I know. But something – I’ve been thinking about it. I decided that I believe what you said about him being inside you somewhere. He can’t…he can’t just be gone. Besides, you’re a lot like him in many ways.” Without consciously willing it her hand had slipped from behind his neck and was now cupping his face.

Her hand was warm and soft, and smelled so good. He could hear her pulse pick up as she realized how intimately they were entwined. He found he couldn’t help himself, and didn’t want to. The words just slipped out. “Buffy. I missed you.”

“I highly doubt that, Angelus. Especially since after this little scene is over, we’ll go back to trying to kill each other.” Something in his tone wasn’t right. She took her hand away from his face and glanced behind her trying to locate her weapons.

Angelus didn’t miss the gesture, but chose instead to ignore the implied threat. Instead he reached for her face, but she jerked away from his touch. He had to settle for holding her hand firmly between both of his. He told himself it was to keep her from actually reaching for a weapon. Gently caressing her thumb, he could feel the pulse of life flowing through it.

“I’m sure that you felt it too, Buffy. I can tell how your body reacts to mine. We belong together – not fighting.”

Again he tried to touch her face, but this time Buffy slipped out from under him, letting him fall heavily to the ground. She grabbed for the stake, but he didn’t try to stop her. He judged that his best defense now was to continue to appear helpless. And to keep her talking.

“I know you try to fight it, Buffy. I fought it too. I don’t know why I want you. I only know that I do.” God help him, it was the truth.

He had spent fruitless hours agonizing over his attraction to the girl who intended to make him dust. He didn’t know what to blame it on. Was it the remains of the ghost possession? More disturbing yet, was it the result of the soul’s influence? Or, he really tried hard to convince himself, did he just want another taste of her blood and another good hard fuck?

He didn’t know, and that just made him angrier. Only thing that he was sure of was that he wasn’t ready to kill her just yet, if he didn’t have to. He’d rather avoid a fight all together, but if it came to it, he wasn’t going to just lay here and let himself be staked either.

Some other accommodation would have to be reached, before he drove himself mad with wanting her. After that first time, he kept thinking that once he’d had her again, he would be able to get her out of his system and move on. Unfortunately she seemed to be having the opposite effect on him. Having had her twice now just made him want her more.

“This is so not happening.” Buffy’s mouth was moving, and the words were coming out, but her body told another tale. She was holding her stake too low, her posture was all wrong.

Seemingly without transition Angelus was suddenly standing up and encroaching on her personal space. In another second he was holding her arms useless, pinned to her sides against the grass as he leaned in to kiss her.

‘This is wrong,’ Buffy’s thoughts echoed his own. Angelus knew this wasn’t what he should be doing. But he also knew that he wasn’t going to stop. Not until they were both too tired to stand.

The grass that had been cold and wet underneath him now felt soft and welcoming, like Buffy’s arms that had come up to encircle him. Compared to Buffy, Dru’s ardor held little appeal. Drusilla’s embrace was only a shadow of what he could experience with the Slayer. An inconsequential dalliance to fill the void until the moment he could feel Buffy surrounding him again.

Licking her lips with his tongue he could feel her warmth and her breath tickling his senses. Pressing his blunt teeth against her bottom lip he drew it into his mouth, sucking gently at the tiny bead of blood that formed there. Releasing her lip he followed it back to her mouth, and then his tongue was inside her. Thrusting inside her mouth, he heard her moan.

Caressing his broad back, Buffy struggled to pull his soiled shirt out of the way, so she could run her hands over his cool flesh. At the same time he used one hand to unfasten his zip, while the other was stroking up the inside of her thighs, pushing her short skirt higher than it was ever meant to be. The thought came unbidden, ‘Gotta love these skirts she wears, such easy access.’

Her blouse wasn’t so lucky, as he ripped it open so his mouth could find her nipple. Pushing the brassiere out of the way he, worried the sensitive point with his teeth, drawing another tiny bead of blood, as she moaned again.

Her center was already wet and inviting as he teased her opening with his fingers. Without waiting for her consent he ripped her panties away and plunged himself into her fiery passage. She was just as tight and warm, as she had been the first time. He thrust himself against her harder, pressing her legs up and to the side so that he could enter her as deeply as possible. Her hips came up off the grass to meet him, coming hard as he tore into the delicate flesh surrounding her nipple. The taste of her blood enflamed him. She may have cum already, but he was far from done with her.

Kissing her briefly, he lifted her so that she was now straddling him as he lay in the grass. It should have been painful, but the wound in his stomach had already healed.

Using his hands to guide her he helped her find a rhythm that was pleasing to them both. As he looked up he could see her moving on top of him, his teeth marks and her blood still staining her breasts. She looked so beautiful with his marks on her. He brought his mouth to her blood-streaked chest and suckled at her teat until they both came.

As Buffy pulled away for a moment to allow herself to breathe, she finally heard the small voice in her head that had been screaming the entire time she had been helpless to stop herself from returning Angelus’s passion.

‘This is so very wrong. I should be trying to stake him. Why aren’t I trying to stake him?’

As they lay exhausted on the lawn, worn out from their mutual climaxes, she turned to him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She had tried so hard to understand Angelus. To understand herself. But it was still wrong.

“Gods, why aren’t you trying to kill me? You had every opportunity. These last few days, there have been so many moments when I wished that I was dead.”

“I don’t want you dead.”

“But I can’t be with a monster,” she moaned. “You’re a killer, a murderer. I can’t be with you. You’re evil.” But she still lay supine in his arms in the grass. She hadn’t even rolled away.

Angelus thought how to answer her. Something that wouldn’t be quite a lie, he knew that she would be able to sense it. But Angelus was a master at twisting the truth to suit his own purposes. “Maybe, evil is as evil does. Somehow when I am with you, I don’t think about being evil or not evil. All I know is that I want you.”

“God help me,” she sobbed. “I want you too. And how sick is that? You, you …forced me.” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the word rape. “But when we are together, now, I don’t think about good and evil either.” Snuggling closer she let her hands draw circles around his nipples. “And you’re still with the not wanting to kill me? What’s up with that?”

“Don’t think it’s any altruistic effort on my part,” he laughed. “Just enlightened self-interest. Why tangle with the Slayer when we can just as easily live and let live? Plus the fringe benefits aren’t bad.” He was making light of it, but the alternative nearly made him ill. He wasn’t sure that he could bring himself to kill the Slayer now.

It was a big decision. And he was having fun with the Slayer just the way she was for the time being. Provided he could control his natural instincts, he’d give it a little longer before he made up his mind either way.

4. Bargain

They had just finished their first totally consensual rough and tumble, and Angelus had to concede that it hadn’t been half-bad. Given time and a little more experience, he believed that Buffy would be eminently trainable.

“I loved Angel so much, and you are like him in so many ways.” He’d have to work on getting her keeping her thoughts to herself, though. If she once declared her undying love for him he’d probably puke up the delicious dollop Slayer blood he’d just had.

It was the second time she had said something like that, and again it made him angry. “I’m not like him at all,” he growled. “The soul made Angel weak.” Why did he continue to protest? If she thought he was like Angel, what did it really matter, so long as he got what he wanted from her?

“Angel was one of the strongest… people… I’ve ever met. Every day was a struggle for him. Every day he had to decide to ignore his baser nature and let his soul guide his actions. But you can make a choice, too. How to live from here on out.”

Here it was then. The ‘why can’t you just BE Angel’ speech. He had known it was coming. This, relationship, that they had somehow formed was doomed from the start.

“There is no choice for me Buffy. I’m a vampire. It’s what I am. With no soul.”

“Perhaps there is more of Angel in you than you imagine. I mean, you are still the same man underneath, you have all his memories – don’t you?”

“I remember everything. But I am not him, Buffy. As much as you’d like me to be, I’m not.”

Pillow talk with the Slayer. Who would have imagined it? But she had a point. It was more than a little terrifying how much he remembered now that things had had a chance to settle inside his mind. Not only the things Angel had said and done, but also the thoughts and feelings behind his actions. And they were alike in many ways. Both Angelus and Angel would have agreed that their greatest single regret was that Angel had been forced to kill Darla.

But reality was that Darla was gone forever, and Angelus was forced to live with the consequences of that action. Perhaps if Darla had still been around, he might have felt differently about Buffy, but it was impossible to speculate.

Sure Dru was fun and all, and he was really enjoying annoying the heck out of Spike, but he needed more than a raving lunatic to keep him company throughout eternity. Buffy might be someone who could fill the void left by Darla’s absence. Of course, for that to work he’d have to turn her eventually.

Of course Buffy had no idea of the direction his thoughts had taken. “See. That’s where you are so alike. You could be the one trying to convince me how you are still the same, even without the soul. But instead you insist that you’re not. You’re both amazingly honest, brave, you take your responsibilities seriously… And you both seem to be in love with me.”

Angelus felt as if he would choke. Was that what his actions told the Slayer? Was there even the remotest possibility that she right? There just couldn’t be. He was not Angel. Never had been, never would be.

“I never said that, Buffy. The poof may have been able to love you, but I have no soul. I won’t deny that I want you, but I’m not even sure that demons can love. Not the way that you mean it.”

“I mean in the ‘for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, until death do us part kind of way.’ And the more I see of you, talk to you, the more I am convinced that you are in fact still Angel, except without the soul.”

Angelus was shaking his head, trying to let her know how foolish her argument sounded to him, but she wouldn’t be deterred.

“It’s like, if you went away to war and came home missing an arm or a leg. You’d still be you. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t love you any more after than? I think this is kinda the same thing.”

“Love is not love / Which alters when it alteration finds.” At her puzzled look Angelus explained, “It’s a line from sonnet by Shakespeare.”

“See proves my point. I don’t believe that the majority of the undead could quote Shakespeare at me.”

“Meaningless,” he shrugged. “But feel free to believe what you want to believe. I can’t stop you anyway. I’m not sure anymore why I’d want to.” He nuzzled her neck. God, she smelled delicious.

“I suppose not. But still, whether you’re calling yourself Angel or Angelus, there’s so much of you that is the same that I would have a hard time staking you.”

“That’s good to know.”

“I said I would have a hard time doing it, not that I wouldn’t, so don’t go getting too overconfident.” She nibbled on his ear and Angelus felt his cock stir again. Perhaps the two of them had enough energy left for another round after all. “I wish you would make it so that I don’t feel that I have to dust you.”

“What do you mean?” She had stopped chewing on his neck. He wanted her to continue.

“You kill people. You eat them.” He pushed her head back down and groaned as her teeth worried the scars on his neck.

“That’s what vampires do, Buffy,” he managed to get out.

“But you don’t have to.” She had stopped what her mouth was doing and was looking at him with those soulful eyes again. “Angel didn’t kill people for food. He lived just fine that way for over a hundred years.”

“Yes, but he had a soul to keep him from killing. I don’t have that motivation.” What did she want from him anyway? He kept telling her over and over that he wasn’t Angel. But she was still running her hand over his chest. Teasing the line of hair just below his navel.

“I know that you don’t have a soul telling you what’s right from wrong. But you have me. Or, you could have me, if you’d just stop killing.” Playfully, she kissed his abs, licked her way lower. He was definitely ready for another round. Especially if she was promising what he thought she was promising. It was one thing to take it from her, but a blow job freely given was a different sensation entirely. One he hadn’t had from her yet. His hand fisted in her hair, trying to move her head lower. Instead she stopped completely and gazed at him with smiling eyes.

“How about a compromise? You don’t kill anyone, and I don’t stake you. And if we date one another on the side, well, that’s really no body’s business is it?” Her mouth dipped lower for a second, her tongue just barely encircling the tip of his cock. Then she pulled away again, looking up at him with a slight smile. She smelled mouthwatering.

“God Buffy, don’t stop,” he gasped, pushing her head back towards his crotch. Her head didn’t move, although her hand stroked him idly. At this point he thought he’d say anything she wanted to hear, just to get her to put her lips around his girth again. It was a struggle even to speak. “I’m not sure that I can do what you want, Buffy. I keep trying to tell you that I’m not Angel. Vampires kill to survive. It’s what we do.”

“Why? Why can’t you just eat pig’s blood, like Angel did? It must be nourishing enough – he did it for like a hundred years. Tell your minions that they have to stop killing, and I’ll leave them alone.”

He simply had to get her to stop talking and put her mouth to work on his straining erection. To say nothing of this talk about blood. Just the mention of it had him vividly remembering the sensation of her precious Slayer’s blood filling his mouth, coating his tongue and teeth, sliding oh so smoothly down his throat and the burn as the power of it suddenly hit. The small tastes he had already taken were no where near enough. At that moment her blood was the only thing in the world that he wanted more than the feel of her hot lips around him. Drinking normal human blood paled in comparison.

Besides words were easy. “I’ll try,” he gasped. No sooner had the words left his mouth he could feel her lips teasing his slit. He could barely talk as her teeth came out to worry the sensitive area around his foreskin. In for a penny, in for a pound. “I’ll … I’ll order my minions to stop too,” he struggled to form the words, “but only on one condition.” He didn’t think that she would agree, but it was worth a try. “Let me drink from you instead.”

He had barely tasted her, and it made him lust for more. Just the thought of her blood was driving him to distraction. Between the memory of her taste and the feel of her lips working him over, he was sure that in another minute he’d be completely incapable of speech. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this good.

He wanted to come already, but her hand was holding him so tightly that he couldn’t. Where had she learned that trick?

“Not much. Just a few sips,” he was gasping for breath now, which was strange considering that he didn’t need to breathe. “You’ve seen that I can do it – take your blood and not harm you.” He was pretty sure that he could keep himself under control. If not, well, he’d have to make a split second decision whether to turn her or just let her die. He could live with it. “If you let me drink from you, I’ll do whatever you want.”

Between Buffy’s blood and the fantastic sex, he wasn’t sure he’d even miss the nightly slaughter. Besides, after having tasted the Slayer’s blood, normal human blood tasted like swill anyway. It wouldn’t be that much of a sacrifice.

He’d learned from Spike that a vampire didn’t really need that much blood to survive. Spike had scarcely eaten anything since he’d become incapacitated. Angelus knew it for a fact. He figured he could live almost entirely off of Buffy, provided that he could get her to go along with the scheme.

To emphasize his point that it wouldn’t have to painful for her, he let his canines lightly graze her wrist and sucked at the blood that began to flow. Gasping she released his cock as they both came hard.

‘Damn,’ he thought once coherence returned. ‘She likes me feeding from her almost as much as I enjoy doing it.’ If her reaction to his bites was any indication, it looked like he could expect to taste her often; probably every time they had sex. If she would let him do that, he didn’t think he’d regret this bargain. The taste of her blood was exquisite. Easily worth making at least a few sacrifices for.

His eyes half closed at the thought, and his fangs pressed into her more deeply as he groaned, reaching for her again. He needed to be inside her – now.

They didn’t leave the cemetery for quite some time.

5. Rumors

The constant banging on the front door of the mansion was starting to drive Spike nuts. At first it had been a welcome distraction to the noise Angelus and Dru were making in the front parlor, but the glamour was beginning to wear thin as neither noise was abating.

Of course he had laughed the first time he had heard that the poof had taken up with the Slayer. For a fleeting instant he’d been grateful, thinking that meant Angelus would leave Drusilla alone. It hadn’t worked out that way yet. Now all he could do was sit around wondering how long it would take the dimwitted girl to realize that she was being played for a fool and stake the philandering weasel. But if she was stupid enough to think Angelus resembled Angel in any particular other than physical, to take him at his word about the hunting, or to think that theirs was an exclusive relationship, well, then she must be pretty darn dumb. Of course his grandsire was annoyingly clever, and hadn’t actually outright lied to the chit, so it was just barely possible that he’d be able to continue the farce for a little bit longer.

After the first few minutes of pounding on the door, Spike had begun counting. He’d guessed that the racket couldn’t last more than twenty minutes. It was going on past forty-five now, and it was no longer amusing, if it ever was. Confined to a wheelchair, Spike had to find his own entertainments where he could. For instance, he couldn’t imagine who would have the nerve to knock on the vampire's door at all, let alone for almost a solid hour.

Eventually his curiosity won out over his boredom, and he rolled past the fornicating couple and towards the door. If he was very lucky, there would be some hapless human delivery boy that he could coax into getting close enough for him to eat. He was almost as hungry as he was bored. Both had become his constant companions for some time. Along with the constant anger at his grandsire that he tried so hard to suppress.

Spike was disappointed but not surprised to find a dapper looking vampire standing on the porch instead of the hapless delivery boy he’d been hoping for. After having wasting so much time on the door, the strange vamp didn’t wait for an invitation to enter. Of course he didn’t need one to enter another vampire’s lair, but still, he hadn’t needed to knock on the door either.

The well dressed vamp stayed in the foyer, however, taking a brief look around the premises disdainfully, as if he wished he were wearing gloves. Spike followed his gaze and tried to see the place as an outsider might see it. Of course the courtyard was a bit over the top for a bunch of vampires, but it was easy enough to avoid in daylight, and handy for disciplining underlings when necessary. Other than that, Spike didn’t see anything remarkable. Well, other than the Poofter doing his girl over the sofa, but that wasn’t an unusual sight in a vampire’s lair either. To the contrary. A vampire in a wheelchair was the item out of place.

Perusal done, the dark skinned vampire turned his gaze back down to Spike. “You’re not afraid of me?” he asked blandly.

“Should I be?” Spike snarled. Just because he was currently not at his best, didn’t mean he was intimidated easily. And the twat was in his house. If push came to shove, Spike fully expected that either Angelus or Drusilla would stop what they were doing long enough to protect Spike from dusting, wouldn’t they? It was an unsettling thought, but Spike didn’t let it show on his face.

“Not bloody likely. Name’s Spike. William the Bloody. I’ve killed more than a Slayer or two in my time.”

“Pleased to meet you,” answered the vampire holding out his hand for Spike to shake. “You can call me Mr. Trick.”

Spike merely looked at the proffered hand and pointedly ran his tongue over his teeth. Who the hell did this ponce think he was anyway, with his affected human manners?

“What’d you come bother us for? We’ve no need for another servant, boy.”

Spike hoped that the vampire would take offense. Sometimes the black ones did. A leftover from their human lives.

Instead this vamp remained unflappable. “Not that I was offering, but you do look like you could use some domestic help right about now. If business doesn’t put us at odds, I’d be happy to refer someone to you.”

If he could get out of the chair, Spike thought that he’d gladly rip the fancy man’s head from his shoulders. “You’d better hurry up and state your business right quick, mate, I’m losing my patience.”

Again the vamp remained unperturbed. “Really, and here you look like you’ve got nothing but time on your hands.” It was starting to make Spike’s blood boil, how this guy turned around everything he said. “My business is with Angelus. The so-called ‘Master of Sunnydale.’”

Spike laughed. “You got a problem with that? Then I suggest you go round up your own army and come back tomorrow. Better vamps than you have challenged him, and Angelus is still here, while they are all dust.”

“You misunderstand me. The people I work for have no quarrel with Angelus. If he wants to call himself Master of Sunnydale, we won’t object. Didn’t object to the real Master, nor the Anointed One. Didn’t even object when you set yourself up as Master, did we? Of course we’re still here, and everyone else is dust – present company excepted of course.”

Spike hoped Angelus was listening to this conversation and that once he’d finished with Drusilla he’d show this idiot what pain really was. There hadn’t been much entertainment in the lair of late, and what with the new austerity program there was a damn sight less.

Spike’s was the only diet that had actually improved under the supposed ban on hunting. He’d taken to eating as little as he possibly could a long time ago: it was either that survive on Dru’s leavings and Angelus’s charity.

When Dalton had remained undusted he had made sure that Spike got enough to eat. But after Angelus’s return, and Dalton’s unfortunate run-in with the Judge, Spike’s meals had become a less frequent occurrence. Every once in a while he’d had to make do with the minion’s leftovers, or else do without.

But lately he hadn’t even had to resort to that. Since Angelus had reached an ‘understanding’ with the Slayer, all kinds of bagged blood were available at all hours of the day. If he didn’t need some blood in order to heal Spike might have spurned it all together.

The stupid vamp in the business suit was still talking. “See it doesn’t matter to us who controls the demons or the hellmouth. What concerns us is the possibility of things getting out of control. Demons allowed to run rampant, or a prolonged clan war for instance, would not be good for business. But the day to day stuff, we’ve got no problem with that. We’re more interested in long range planning. And we just want to assure ourselves that we won’t be having any Slayer related problems any time soon.”

Spike could tell that Angelus was finally starting to lose interest in Drusilla. The word “Slayer” had apparently caught his attention.

“Not that we have any particular problem with the Slayer, per se either. I mean, if there has to be one, and she’s gonna be in Sunnydale, well, better the Slayer you know. But the two of them together? Angelus and the Slayer? That could spell trouble. And we want to avoid trouble.”

With a grunt of satisfaction Angelus came and roughly pushed Drusilla out of the way while he searched for his black silk kimono pants. Spike smirked. It would be interesting to see how Angelus chose to deal with this Trick person.

Spike watched Trick’s face as Angelus came up to him, still sans shirt, briefly wiping his right hand on his half-tied pants before holding it out for Trick to shake. Spike saw the brief flicker of distaste on the fastidious vamp’s features, before he thought better of it and accepted Angelus’s handshake.

“You wanted to see me? What was so important that you had to bother me in my own home? When I was busy doing important things?”

A very naked Drusilla had made her way to the foyer and was staring at the black vamp as if she’d never seen anyone that color before. Just to annoy Trick, Angelus pulled her into a brief embrace, before slapping her on the ass and sending her to her room.

“Well? I’m waiting, Trick.”

Trick cleared his throat before continuing, the first sign of nervousness he’d shown so far this evening.

“As I was saying to Spike here, the people I work for have no quarrel with your being Master of Sunnydale. In fact, we rather welcome a strong Master. We are however, somewhat concerned about your relationship with the Slayer. The rumor is that in order to reach an accommodation with the Slayer; you’ve prohibited your minions from hunting. Also there have been reports of you and the Slayer copulating in almost every cemetery and park in Sunnydale. Let’s face it, you have not been discreet. It’s become almost a nightly event. Certain enterprising demons have been running betting pools on where, when and in what position. So it’s only natural that people are beginning to wonder what your intentions are. That is to say, why you haven’t killed her yet. As I’ve told Spike, it’s important to our long range planning that nothing major upsets the Hellmouth for the next year or so.”

“Who are you, the girl’s mother? And if I make a few dollars while providing my minions a good show, well, it’s only fair, isn’t it, seeing how I have imposed new feeding restrictions. But my intentions are just that, mine. I’ll not share them.” Spike could tell that Angelus was finally getting angry at the impertinent visitor. His voice had taken on a decided Irish twang, and that always meant trouble.

Trick didn’t know this, and persisted. “It’s just that word of the changes you’ve made in you clan’s feeding habits have spread. The question then becomes who’s fooling whom? Are you leading the Slayer on a merry ride, or does she have you right where she wants you?”

If the smaller man knew it was coming, he didn’t even try to duck. Angelus’s fist caught him right in the mouth, his ring leaving a nasty looking gash that dripped blood onto the floor. Trick made no move to retaliate or tend to his wound. He simply waited, as if he expected Angelus to answer his question.

“I like you. You’ve got balls coming here and asking me that.” Seeming to come to a decision, Angelus nodded at Trick. “Come back tomorrow night around midnight, and I’ll show you who is the Master of Sunnydale. You can pass on what you see to your Boss, and whoever else wants to know. Don’t bother to knock though. I imagine we’ll all be occupied. Even my friend Spike here. I’ve been thinking about just this situation for a while now, and one way or another I think tomorrow will be the night. You look like a vamp who enjoys watching.” He hadn’t missed Trick’s eyes on him and Drusilla. “I promise, you’ll get quite an eyeful.”

6. Confrontation



The following night found Buffy charged with excess energy. She and Angelus had been hot and heavy for the first few nights after they had reached an agreement. But now she hadn’t seen Angelus for the past three nights, and she was feeling the lack. The Slaying had been agonizingly slow as well.

If she didn’t get some relief soon she felt like she was going to claw her way out of her own skin. She’d tried cold showers, hot showers, jumping rope, running laps, calisthenics, yoga, tae qwon do; nothing had helped. Then she’d tried watching soaps, listening to music, singing, and gossiping with Willow. Finally frustrated to the point where she was ready to slay anything that moved, evil or not, she tried giving in to the desire – she’d hid herself in her room and read dirty books, watched porn and masturbated with grocery products. That had only made the need more intense. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t help herself. She wanted Angelus desperately. Who knew she could get so dependent on him so quickly?

“God, they’re getting even more pathetic,” she groused as she dusted yet another newly risen vamp. Not nearly enough of a challenge for her. The brief fight barely dampened her frustration. “I mean, they buried him with his glasses on. A vamp with glasses – that’s just sad. Who would want such a sorry looking creature anyway?”

“I wanted him.” Angelus stepped out of the shadows behind the mausoleum.

“Angelus. Where have you been?” It was difficult to keep herself from throwing him to the ground and ravaging him right then, except that she needed to let him know that she was severely pissed that he’d been MIA for the last couple of nights. That SO was not going to become a regular occurrence. “And don’t you know a rhetorical question when you hear one?”

“No. I don’t. I asked you to patrol on the other side of town for a few nights.” By Angelus’s tone Buffy could tell that he was on edge as well. Apparently the separation had not been easy for either of them. “That one was one of mine, you shouldn’t have staked him.”

“Oh, I am so not taking orders from you, Angelus.” She didn’t want to admit that she had done just as he’d asked the past two nights, but that her frustration at the lack of exercise (and his touch on her flesh) had finally driven her to seek him out. “Just because we reached an agreement, doesn’t mean I won’t stake you if I find you’ve broken your word.” It was mostly a bluff, but she hoped that he didn’t know that. She didn’t know what she would do if she found him feeding again. Now that they’d been …close, she didn’t know if she could dust him if she needed to.

He moved so quickly, she was in his arms before she knew it.

“Don’t fool yourself, Buffy. You’ll never stake me. You are mine.” He nuzzled the barely healed scar where he’d last fed from her, but did not drink. This was the first time in days that the scar had had a chance to heal, and he didn’t want to re-open it right away.

He had noticed that Buffy had taken to wearing her hair down all the time now, accompanied by an assortment of turtlenecks, scarves and wide necklaces. If her Watcher had been paying her proper attention, it would have been obvious by now. He didn’t want to draw undue attention from the wrong quarters. The girl wouldn’t turn on him, her Watcher was another matter. Of course there were other, more intimate, places that he could feed from her. Her body was tattooed with his marks.

Angelus could feel her body giving in to him. She was so confused. She shouldn’t want him so recklessly, but she did. She guided his lips to her neck. Angelus knew that she wanted him to feed from her. Wanted it almost as desperate or perhaps more so, than the sex. Angelus had purposely avoided her for the past three nights, and it fascinated him that she seemed more disturbed by that fact than he was.

Weakly she gestured towards the almost forgotten grave, ready to make a token protest.

“You said – you agreed. No more killing.” How could he have a fledgling if he hadn’t been feeding? It had to be a mistake!

She summoned all her willpower and pushed him away. “You promised me Angel. How can I be with you if you are still feeding off innocents? By all rights, I should stake you right now.” It was an idle threat, and she knew it even as she said the words.

“I didn’t lie to you Buffy. I keep my promises. I haven’t been eating humans.”

“But…”

“I didn’t kill him, Buffy. I turned him. You’re the one who killed him.”

“That’s so unfair. Turning is the same as killing. He has to be dead before he can be turned into a vampire. You had better not be making fledglings just to get around your promise to me…or this is so over between us. You know I have my sources of information, Angelus. If you’ve been feeding, I will find out.”

He briefly wondered which of his minions had betrayed him, who had agreed to spy on him and pass information on to the Slayer. But it didn’t matter. They’d all be dust soon anyway. Besides, there was nothing to tell. He’d stuck to the letter of their agreement.

“No, Buffy. I haven’t been feeding. And I’m not making a practice of bringing over new minions, either. I can barely tolerate the ones I have now. But this one was special. I needed him.”

She was perplexed, and she was getting angry now at his lack of response. For the first time since their bargain, she wasn’t getting what she wanted out of Angelus. After the last few days alone she felt like she was going to jump out of her skin if she didn’t get some relief soon. A girl’s hand could only do so much, and it did absolutely nothing to alleviate her equally strong need to feel his fangs tear into her flesh. She couldn’t go on like this.

“That guy?” she whined. “Why? What was so special about him? He looked like a dweeb to me.”

“That’s exactly why I needed him. When I first came back, the Judge killed some of Spike’s minions. One was a guy named Dalton. He knew all kinds of languages and a little magic. He was useful, Buffy. This guy was supposed to take his place.”

“So he was gonna be research guy for a bunch of vampires? Guess I saved him from a fate worse than death. Ha!”

Sometimes she was such a child. “It’s not funny, Buffy. It’s hard to find a vampire with the intellectual capacity and temperament to do what Dalton did. I spent weeks searching before I picked this guy.”

“If he was so important to you, you should have taken better care of him than to let him rise alone in the cemetery I was patrolling.” It was apparent that Buffy had already lost interest in the fledgling. She was pouting. She pursed her lips and appeared to be trying to strike provocative poses on purpose. “What’s with that anyway? Do vamps need to be planted like tulips or something?”

Angelus wasn’t going to be distracted either by Buffy’s obvious need of him or her inane questions. Although she was the Slayer, sometimes Buffy acted like the teenager she still was.

Exasperatedly, Angelus tried again to explain. “Buffy, you’re missing the point. I invested a lot of time and energy in this guy, and you knowingly defied me by dusting him. I asked you as a special favor to stay away from Shady Rest for a few days – while I waited for him to rise. A favor which you chose to ignore.”

Angelus looked at her then, and Buffy shivered as she imagined that she could see the yellow eyes of the demon flash as it suppressed the part of him that was still Angel. At least she thought it was her imagination.

Angelus realized that a few days of his absence had put Buffy in an odd and strangely needy mood. He wondered how far he could push her.

“You need to learn obedience, Buffy. You can’t have everything your own way. I’ve given in to you so far – whatever you asked. ‘Don’t eat people,’ you said, so I haven’t. Next it was, ‘keep your minions from hunting’ – so I forbade my clan from drinking fresh blood. Do you know how difficult it is to enforce something like that?”

That had been part of the reason he had been avoiding Buffy lately. He had organized his followers into two groups. The smaller number, including Dru and Spike, would live with him at the mansion, where he strictly and loudly enforced the moratorium on feeding. Spike was easy. He was still confined to a wheelchair and would eat whatever he was given to eat, or starve. Dru was easy too. Everyone knew that Dru was crazy and uncontrollable, so he didn’t even try. Let her do whatever she wanted; he wasn’t going to take responsibility for it. Anyone else who disobeyed his commands quickly learned their mistake.

The majority of the clan remained in the factory where he could deny they were his minions at all, let alone be held responsible for their nightly activities. They were free to live as they always had, so long as they did what they were told when he told them to do it.

What he said was, “You don’t know the half of it. And now everyone was expecting this guy tonight. Knew he was gonna rise. All I asked was one little favor, Buff – that you be somewhere else tonight. Turn a blind eye. But no, your conscience wouldn’t let you do that. You had to interfere in my business. And now you need to be punished.”

Was it bad that she shivered with anticipation at his mention of the word punishment? There was something seriously wrong with her. She shouldn’t be feeling this way. She shouldn’t have allowed any of this to happen. She shouldn’t be permitting her personal feelings to overrule her good sense. She was a bad Slayer.

“Angel, where are we going?” They had been walking quickly and were out of the cemetery and half way to the other side of town by now.

“To the mansion.” Buffy hadn’t been there before, but she was going to see it now.

At the moment, for whatever reason, Angelus knew that he had the upper hand in his relationship with the Slayer, and he was going to prove to all interested parties how just much control he had over her.

“I’ve tried to be nice, Buffy. But you need to be taught a little lesson.”

They’d reached the house on Crawford Street. It was an imposing castle-like stone building, which had been vacant ever since Buffy had come to Sunnydale. She hadn’t known that the vampires had taken up residence here.

“Before you go in, you’ll need to leave your weapons here, Slayer.”

“Huh? Sooo not happening.” It was probably stupid, but she trusted Angelus. But only so far.

“Look at it from my point of view. You’ve already proved yourself untrustworthy by slaying my fledgling. I’m not letting you into my house fully armed. The minions might get the wrong idea and think you were planning to attack us. You have my word that anything that happens tonight will be your choice. But understand this, if I’m going to take you inside of my house, you can’t be seen to ignore my orders.”

“Fine, fine,” Buffy relented. This evening was so not going the way that she thought it would. She just wanted a little sex and biting to take the edge off. Not a lecture about doing what you’re told. She got enough of those from Giles.

“You want me to explain what happened to research vamp, I can do that. My bad, all right. But you and I know that I could stake your stupid minion’s sorry asses any time I wanted to. Weapons or no weapons.”

Idly she wondered if Angelus had an actual bed. They hadn’t made love in a bed yet. Did vampires even have beds? Cause a coffin, not so comfortable.

“These are my most loyal supporters here, Buffy. They’re the ones who agreed to live by your rules. You shouldn’t be so fast to stake them if they’re not feeding. Or does that agreement only apply to me?”

“Whatever. What do you need a bunch of hangers on for, anyway?”

Internally she was thinking that they so did not need an audience. Why couldn’t Angelus live alone, like Angel had?

“You think I should kill them? Even if they’ve agreed not to hunt?”

That caught Buffy’s attention, and she thought for a moment before replying. How did Angelus twist her words, make it seem like she was the one in the wrong? “Nooo. But I think you need to re-evaluate your life-style choices.”

“You may be right, Buffy.” Angelus stopped her in front of a closed door on the first floor. At last, his bedroom. Now they would be able to make with the sex fest.

So far, they hadn’t seen or heard any vamps at all. She was beginning to wonder if they were not at home tonight. They supposedly weren’t feeding – so where were they and what were they doing? What else did vamps do anyway?

“Before we go in, Buffy. I want you to know that you brought this on yourself. If you had only listened to me, it wouldn’t have come to this. But you’re stubborn and you need to be taught a lesson. As head of clan Aurelius, it’s my job to make sure that you learn it.”

What was he going to do to her? Tie her up and make her beg him for it? In the mood she was in right now, she just might not mind.

“So, here’s the deal. For your disobedience tonight you have won what is behind door number one.”

The door had been locked, and the key turned reluctantly at his insistence. He pushed Buffy ahead of him into the room and blocked the exit with his body.

His violent shove had pushed Buffy halfway into the room until she found herself staring face to face with a very surprised looking vampire, Spike. Apparently he had been sitting in his wheelchair and staring at nothing. Now he let his eyes roam up and down her body then cocked his head at Angelus, a question in his eyes.

Angelus didn’t even bother to look at him, his eyes focusing on the Slayer. “I’m sorry to say,” he began, but his voice sounded anything but sorry, he sounded pleased, and amused, “because of your intervention, Slayer, I’ve got other things to attend to right now. So I am going to allow Spike to administer your punishment. You, my dear, are going to stay here and keep Spike…entertained. Fully entertained, if you get my meaning.”

Chapter 7: Obedience

“Fully entertained, if you get my meaning.” The menace and leering in his voice left little to the imagination. Angelus had never spoken to her this cruelly. Well, maybe at the beginning, when they were still trying to kill one another, but certainly not lately.

He turned from an indignant Buffy to an open-mouthed Spike. “You have my permission to do whatever you like with her for the night – as long as you don’t leave any visible marks and she’s not hurt too badly. She needs to be able to make her own way home before morning. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to miss school. It’s so important to get a good education.”

Buffy couldn’t believe what Angelus appeared to be saying. Surely he was teasing them both.

“Angel…” Buffy began. Occasionally she had fallen into the bad habit of calling him Angel instead of Angelus. Usually he no longer objected. But there was little about him that reminded her of Angel right now as he stood implacably in the doorway.

“Fine. Angelus. This is a joke, right? You’re not leaving me here with Spike just because I killed some vamp that happened to belong to you? That’s my job! It’s what I do.”

Angelus interrupted her, finally letting just a little of his fury at her show. “Let me try this one last time. You’ve asked me to do some pretty big things- make changes in the way I live my unlife, and I have agreed to try. I’ve been working very hard at it. Haven’t killed a human in weeks – ask Spike if you don’t believe me.”

Slowly Spike nodded his agreement. It was true; Angelus hadn’t killed a human in at least a week. What he had been doing instead was draining vamps who’d recently killed, sometimes at his instructions. It was a close to cannibalism as a vampire could come. True, it was maybe not exactly what the Slayer had had in mind, and not at all what the rest of them were stuck eating, but Spike felt it politic to keep that observation to himself.

Of course everyone knew what Angelus got out of the deal. He was banging and draining the Slayer with impunity. But even her rich blood hadn’t been enough for Angelus. Not by a long shot. Spike had schooled himself to live on very little since he had been confined to this wheelchair, and thought that he could probably sustain himself on just the Slayer’s blood. But he was realistic enough to know that it was unlikely that he’d ever get the chance to prove himself the better man.

“It’s been… a difficult transition, Buffy. But I want to be good.” Spike knew that Angelus had to be lying through his teeth. Now he was nuzzling the marks on her neck. It was disgusting. “Because it’s what you want.”

Angelus’s twaddle made Spike want to hurl. How could the stupid bint believe he was sincere? Didn’t she have a single brain cell left in her head?

Angelus barely spared a glance at Spike as he continued speaking to Buffy. Spike had to admit that the devil had a silver tongue that could charm a fish out of the sea when he wanted to.

“But it’s all been one-sided, Buffy. You say that you won’t stop killing vampires. And I can appreciate that. It’s in your nature after all. But I think it is only fair that you learn what it feels like to do something distasteful because someone you love asks you to. That’s what this is all about. It’s not a big thing really – just one night. Not a life-changing event. Nothing, really, compared to what you’ve asked of me.”

Spike had to hand it to him, Angelus knew how to put a spin on things. The next words out his mouth nearly made him laugh out loud. “And I trust Spike.”

That got Spike’s attention. Made him wonder if anything Angelus said ever had a scrap of truth in it.

As if he had read Spike’s mind Angelus amended, “I trust him to know where his best interest lies. If I tell him not to hurt you, then he won’t hurt you. Who knows, you might even enjoy it, though I doubt it. Besides, you owe Spike – you are the one who put him in that wheelchair. Now no one wants to go anywhere near him now, least of all Drusilla. He’s been suffering. And he’s terribly depressed. He could use a little cheering up.”

Buffy looked at Spike…if there was even the hint of a leer then she was gonna stake him, wheelchair or not. She crossed her arms and looked at her lover, “There is no way you are going to get me to do this, Angelus. There is not a scrap of Angel left in you that you would ask me to do this.”

Angelus pulled Buffy close and kissed her passionately, then pushed her away again. “Actually there is – otherwise for your punishment I might just throw you out naked for the minions to play with. I’m sure that if enough of them teamed up against you they’d get you to do quite a few things that you’d rather not. And I’d enjoy watching. Or I might decide to simply flog you. And afterwards, if you were still conscious, I might still give you to Spike. He’s been such a loyal little dog.”

Carelessly, he tossed Buffy away from him and into Spike’s lap. Not prepared for it, she tumbled helplessly, then scrambled quickly back to her own two feet.

“It’s your choice, Buffy. You two work it out. As I said I've got someplace to be. I’ll be back just before first light.”

He smirked as he shut and barred the door behind him. They could hear him down the hallway, “Have fun kids.”

Buffy couldn’t believe he was really gone. Angelus had left her alone in a locked room with Spike! There was no way this was going to end without one or the other of them dead. And she was certain that it wasn’t going to be her, whether she had her weapons with her or not. Without a wooden stake dusting him was going to be far more difficult. But Spike was stuck in a stupid wheelchair, and had been instructed not to hurt her. A few quick moves, and he’d be dust.

Through the hair that fallen over her face, Buffy surreptitiously observed the vampire sitting incongruously innocent looking in his wheelchair. He was still dangerous, Buffy knew that. She was glad that she had gotten herself far enough away from him. As long as she didn’t put herself in reach of his fangs, she felt relatively safe. Idly she wondered what Angelus’s reaction would be if she simply dusted Spike. Unfortunately Angelus was already in a foul mood and she had a feeling that action would make him even more furious with her. If she had to, she’d goad Spike into attacking; then a dusting would be totally justified.

Of course the easiest choice would be to simply leave. She tried the door unsuccessfully a few times before she swore. She unleashed her full fury at it, but still nothing. Finally, exhausted, Buffy slid down by the threshold, determined to wait and regain her strength before trying again.

Spike had remained almost eerily silent the entire time. As Buffy rose to resume her assault on the door a second time he finally spoke. “So, you’ve chosen the minions then?”

She looked at him a little blankly, “What?”

“You prefer to be gang raped than share your bed with a cripple. I can understand, luv. No one else seems to find me too attractive about now either,” he said bitterly.

“It won’t come to that. He was bluffing. I don’t know what he wants, but it’s not that.”

“Pet, Angelus doesn’t bluff. Not ever. And he doesn’t make threats he doesn’t mean. When he gives orders he expects them to be obeyed. You’re quite lucky really. He’s told you the consequences of refusal. So you can make your own choice. You might rather choose the flogging, though. It’s damned painful, but you’d probably survive.”

“What’d you mean?”

“There’s only three ways of dealing with Angelus.” He counted off on his fingers, “One – you do what he says. Two - you accept whatever punishment he chooses to dish out. Three – you kill him. I wouldn’t really recommend you try that last one though – not unless you have a death wish or an unfair advantage. And certainly not tonight- not while you’re unarmed, surrounded, and already emotionally exhausted. Not the best circumstances for a showdown. Odds are not in your favor.”

Unfortunately he was making a lot of sense. “So you’re left with doing as you’ve been ordered, or taking the consequences. Truth to tell I think you’d be better off doing as he’s asked, for a number of reasons. Of course, you could just accept your punishment like a good little Slayer. I wouldn’t mind watching that either.”

He looked her up and down and his voice and demeanor changed. “I can promise you that I’ll make it worth your while, if you’re up for the shag.” He’d been stuck in this chair for what seemed like forever already. He’d do anything for a good lay. Even if it meant making nice with the Slayer.

She shuddered, remembering Angelus’ words, ‘whatever happens tonight, it will be your choice.’ Was this the ‘choice’ he had been referring to?

“So not gonna happen Spike. Just because Angelus and I are still seeing each other, that doesn’t mean that he owns me. He can’t tell me to do something utterly repulsive and expect that I’ll just agree to it because he asked me to.”

“Now, that’s the crux of the matter right there pet. Whether you like it or not, Angelus has taken leadership of this clan, and that includes obligations as well as privileges. You’ve been pushing him pretty hard, Slayer. Maybe too hard. Others are starting to notice. He can’t afford to appear weak in front of them, or they’ll gang together against him. He’s got to prove that you are his property, and not the other way around. It’s a vampire thing, luv.”

Spike recalled their visitor from last night. He was probably the ‘business’ Angelus had referred to. Angelus was probably taking him to some secret room where they could both sit back and watch the show unfold. Spike wondered if this little drama tonight was solely for the benefit of the dapper vampire and whomever he represented. But he rather doubted it. The whole situation reeked of Angelus’s Machiavellian nature. No, he had been planning something like this for a long time. Something where the Slayer was forced into obedience. One way or the other.

“What are you talking about?”

“Slayer, vampire relationships aren’t about human emotions like ‘love.’ They’re about lust, and power. I’ll warn you now. If he wants to pass you around, well, that’s his right. But he’d never tolerate it if you tried to cheat on him. He can do whatever he wants. Whenever he wants.” Just to be cruel he added, “He’s probably doing Drusilla right about now.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why not? You ever ask him if he’s being monogamous? I’ll tell you now; he’d sooner give up drinking human blood than pledge that. It’s part of how he proves he’s pack leader.”

“This is sick. I can’t believe that Angel would do this to me.”

“Why do you keep calling him Angel, pet? You know that he’s not Angel. That sod is gone and he’s just plain Angelus now.”

“Of course I know he’s not Angel. Just because I’m a blonde does not mean I’m stupid.”

“Never said you were stupid, pet. You’re just very young, is all. And you think that wanting something will make it so.”

Spike tilted his head slightly as he looked at the girl huddled under the lintel of his door. What was it that Angelus saw in her? She was pretty enough – short, slightly built, nice figure, wore the ridiculously erotic clothes they all wore nowadays. Course, she was the Slayer, so that added another layer of appeal. But Spike didn’t understand why Angelus didn’t just kill her and be done with it. After all, he’d killed Slayers before; it wasn’t that hard.

But there was nothing to be done for it. Spike wasn’t going to kill this Slayer, at least not tonight. Not if he knew what was good for him. And it wasn’t like he could protest Angelus’s orders. Not from a wheelchair anyway. Whatever Angelus’ reasoning, Spike decided it was probably best not to refuse a gift from his Sire. He’d take what he was offered at face value, and worry about the implications later.

Decision made, he looked over at the girl in the corner and said simply, “Strip.”

8. Obedience, part 2


At the sound of his command to strip, the Slayer looked up at him, and Spike could see the sparkle of defiance in her eyes. He anticipated that she would continue to protest, perhaps to plead, but what she said was not at all what he had expected. She looked him in eye, and instead of objecting, asked a question. “Why?”

Spike smirked; she did have something, this girl. “It’s usually customary, before we screw. But it isn’t strictly necessary, just nicer that way.”

She shook her head, “That’s not what I meant. Why’d he give me to you? Why does he want this to happen?”

Spike was even more impressed now. They were good questions, questions that had been running through his mind only minutes ago. She wasn’t too scared or too angry or too far gone to think then. That was either very, very good, or very, very bad. For her.

Angelus hadn’t said a word of what he was thinking to Spike. Never had, and probably never would confide in him. Perhaps Angelus’s actions had something to do with Trick’s visit last night, perhaps not. It was the type of game Angelus liked to play with his victims.

He wondered what he’d told the girl to get her here.

“Dunno. He didn’t really say, now did he? What’d he tell you?”

She looked down, “This is my punishment. I did something he didn’t like. Killed his fledgling. But that still doesn’t explain…”

She was right. It didn’t explain. If Angelus merely wanted to punish the chit, there were many, many ways he could have gone about it. So it was more than that. And it certainly didn’t explain why the Slayer had allowed herself to be put in such a position. By relinquishing her weapons and apparently willingly walking into his lair, she had given Angelus the power to punish her in any way he saw fit. He could almost imagine why the girl was letting Angelus fuck her – women always seemed to fall for the big hulking brute and he’d long ago given up wondering why. Still, it pointed to a serious lack of judgment on her part.

Suddenly Spike thought he understood why he had been chosen as the instrument of her punishment, at least partly.

“He wants to be sure that you’ll do as you’re told. That you’ll obey him. And right now, stuck in this damn chair – all your fault by the way - I’m probably the most disgusting thing he can think of to fuck. Plus there’s the added benefit that I can’t really make you do anything. If you made it past that door and tired to run away right now, I couldn’t stop you. You might even be able to get past the minions, and back outside, where you can pretend you’re safe. But you wouldn’t be safe. He’d hunt you down, and then you’d know what Angelus’s punishments are really like.” If she thought this was as bad as it could get, she was in for a rude surprise.

“I don’t understand. That can’t be all he wants, can it? If this is just a game to him, why doesn’t he just kill me, get it over with?” He didn’t know it, but her naive question echoed the thoughts of the entire demon population of Sunnydale.

This night was certainly not turning out the way she had thought it would. Buffy’s head was spinning; she wasn’t sure what to think. This was not the Angelus she thought she knew, the one she thought she was in love with. And yet the aching need to feel his touch hadn’t lessened. Her body had been brought to the brink by his mere presence, and then left wanting.

She turned so that she was facing the door, whispered so she thought Spike couldn’t hear, “I can’t live like this. I know he’s not Angel. I know it. But still, sometimes, I’m not so sure.”

Spike rolled closer to her, somehow feeling as if he should try to comfort her, stroke her hair. He held himself back. No point getting attached to the merchandise. Spike had been given a prize tonight; he didn’t think it was likely that it would ever happen again.

“He’s enjoying this too much to lose you.” Spike knew what that was like. Eternal life was long, and amusements rarely lasted. “He wants to keep you as long as he can, perhaps forever.”

“No.” That thought had apparently never occurred to her, and for the first time Buffy was frightened. Spike would have laughed in her face if the combined scent of her fear and her need wasn’t so arousing. “I won’t let him do that to me. I’ll die before I let him turn me into… into one of you.”

Spike smirked, “Do you really think he’ll give you a choice? I can tell he’s already tasted you. More than once, most likely.” Buffy raised her hand to the scar on her neck. “Do you really think you’ll be able to stop him? You haven’t been very successful at that so far, now have you?”

There were moments when Buffy thought she hated Angelus, not because he was evil, but because he was not and never would be Angel. And she knew for a fact that she hated Spike. But not nearly as much as she loathed herself right now. How could she have been so stupid to allow it to come to this? One murderous vampire warning her of the treachery of another?

Because he was correct, any time Angelus had had his fangs on her he could have killed her, or turned her, and she’d have been helpless to stop him. She was supposed to kill vampires, not make deals with them, and certainly not sleep with them! Now here she was, in a nest full of them, and she hadn’t killed a single one of them!

Sometimes she told herself she was just biding her time. Lulling Angelus into a false sense of security. Finding out his secrets. Until she was ready to strike and kill them all.

Sometimes she thought that what she was doing good. That through her influence, Angelus was learning how to be Angel.

But if she was honest with herself she admitted that most of the time the only thought in her head was that she couldn’t get enough of him. Thoughts of her trysts with Angelus invaded all her thoughts – waking and dreaming. Recently she’d fallen even further behind in her schoolwork, and even begun neglecting her friends.

Even her patrols had become more about relieving sexual tension while she searched out her lover. Deep down she knew that she shouldn’t be feeling like this. That something had gone desperately wrong with her plan for Angelus’s redemption. Without meaning to, she was loosing more and more of herself. Angelus had a power over her, and it scared her.

Spike’s next words shocked her out of her musings. “So, we done with the chit chat? Take off your clothes, and we’ll get started.”

Reaching a decision of her own, Buffy bent over Spike so that she was eye to eye with him in his wheelchair, inadvertently giving him a good look see down her blouse. Looking into his eyes, (had they always been so blue?), she pulled back her hair revealing Angelus’s marks on her neck.

She put her lips up to his ear and whispered softly, temptingly.

“Kill me.”

She wasn’t going to be able to resist Angelus. Her body had betrayed her. Whatever her reason told her, she needed Angelus now. She didn’t want to go down in history as the only Slayer ever seduced by the vampire she was meant to kill. And she was never going to let him turn her into a creature of darkness. It had become obvious to her over the past few days that she was already in far too deep. She would never be able to fight him. His hold over her body was too strong. It would be faster this way, less confusing, and it would deny Angelus what he wanted. She was prepared to die.

Chapter 9. Decisions

Buffy may have thought she was prepared to die, but she definitely was not prepared for Spike’s violent refusal. “Buggering fuck, girl! Are you insane?”

“Why not?” she demanded, straightening up and putting her hands on her hips. “You’ve killed Slayers before!”

Lowering her voice to a more seductive pitch, and offering her neck, she tried again. “I know you’d love to drain me. Isn’t that what you’ve been trying to do every since you came to Sunnydale? Well, this is your chance. I’m telling you I won’t resist. I won’t fight back…”

Spike looked like he was ready to throttle her, if only he could stand. Clenching and flexing his fists, his jaw was drawn up tight in an expression she couldn’t quite read, but she knew it meant trouble.

“You still don’t get it, do you, you stupid girl! No one defies Angelus. You don’t lie to him, and you don’t disobey his orders. Not unless you’re willing to pay the penalty or take him down. And I’m NOT willing to have him stake me over you. Because of you I’m not in any shape to stand up to him, and neither are you.” He hadn’t been this angry in a long time. He’d been too busy feeling sorry for himself. There was the Slayer, right in front of him, offering herself to him, and he couldn’t have her!

“What were you thinking, you stupid chit? You just lay down your weapons and strolled into his stronghold? He is NOT Angel! But he is Master here, now. We will both do as we’ve been told, and if you don’t think that was an order, well I bloody well do! If you think this is punishment, then you’ve got a lot to learn. Go ahead and defy him! See if I care!”

He stopped shouting, and wheeled himself away from Buffy and closer to the bed. Then he turned the chair around again and locked his cold blue eyes on hers while he licked his lips. He spoke so quietly she had to strain to hear him.

“I’ll ask him to let me watch while he flays the skin off your naked body. Maybe he’ll let me lick the blood from your thighs while he does unspeakable things to the rest of you…or, you can stop yapping and do as you’ve been told. I won’t ask again. Take your clothes off and get on the bed.”

“You’re lying. He wouldn’t do that to me,” she protested. Still there was that part of her that didn’t believe it. Angelus wouldn’t ever threaten her with such a thing. He must know that she would never put up with this kind of treatment!

Spike shrugged as if it was of no great consequence to him. “Perhaps you’re right. Maybe he’ll just let the staff have a go. Everybody has already had a gander at the two of you going at it like dogs in the park. They’re all hot to see what all the fuss is about.”

Spike was pleased when the Slayer turned beet red upon finding out that they’d had an audience. Well, what did she expect, doing it in public places like that? She really was just too cute.

He wished he’d had the opportunity to watch the two of them at it himself. Stuck here in the house the only channel was the Angelus and Drusilla show. Spike had found early on that he really didn’t have the stomach for that, and did everything possible to be elsewhere whenever they went at it.

Spike shrugged as if he really didn’t care one way or the other what she did. He ought to get an academy award for acting. “On the other hand, maybe he’ll just drain you dry. Well, then we’ll just have to wait and find out.”

They sat in silence for several minutes. The girl wasn’t giving in. Spike couldn’t decide if she was simply stubborn, really brave, or just plain stupid.

He’d try to talk sense into her one final time, then he’d leave her to her fate. Like he said, he was certainly in no position to force her against her will. Besides he’d never had to resort to that in his unlife, and he wasn’t going to start now.

“Let me try to explain this in terms you can understand. This is his house now, Slayer. Angelus can’t afford to let you or anyone else defy him. Every servant is a potential enemy. If they sense just the slightest weakness, they could turn against him. Even if you’re right, and he doesn’t want to hurt you, he’ll be forced to, if you openly defy him.”

He softened his voice, rolled closer so that he could take her hand. Caress it softly. More flies with honey and all that. “It doesn’t have to be this way, Buffy. This doesn’t have to be painful. It’s your choice. What’s it going to be?”

Warring emotions flitted across Spike’s face as he saw that Buffy was finally going to give in. Spike didn’t know what had changed her mind, whether she’d really finally thought about the consequences of her actions. Whether she thought she could avoid torture at Angelus’s hands indefinitely. One way or another, Spike thought, that was where she was going to end up.

For whatever reason, Angelus had manufactured this little drama tonight. No reason why he wouldn’t do so again. Only difference was, if it was tonight, Angelus really might have let him watch. But then he never would have let him bed the girl.

Spike wasn’t too disappointed with the result. It was probably a fair trade. Cheerfully Spike came to the realization that the promised rape or flogging would probably only be postponed by her acquiescence tonight. If he had just a little luck, it was likely he could witness her death throes later on. Ever since his spine had been crushed, the other vampires had avoided him as if he were coated in holy water. Not even Drusilla would touch him. And he was getting awfully tired of spending his nights alone. He could really use a good shag right about now.

Apparently quiet and complacent, Buffy stepped out of her panties and lay on Spike’s bed. Resigned to go through with it, she was determined to give him as little enjoyment from it as possible. ‘I mean, how bad could it be,’ she wondered. ‘Sleep with one evil vampire, sleep with them all.’

Besides, Spike was injured. And he seemed to take Angelus’s orders seriously. He’d been ordered not to hurt her, and if he really meant what he said, he meant to do exactly as he’d been told. She decided that she’d just have to buckle down and bear it; it would probably be over quickly anyway, and then she’d get to go home. Angelus had always let her go before. Why should this time be any different?

Only this time she wouldn’t go home, she resolved. She’d go and tell her Watcher what had happened, (a VERY censored version of the truth at any rate). Then they’d make plans to come back here and exterminate the entire nest. Who was Angelus that he thought he could do this to her? Pass her around to his pals like a trashy novel. She…

This wasn’t what she had been expecting. Instead of a heavy body pressing hers into the mattress, she felt Spike’s hands removing her shoes and caressing her feet. She hadn’t realized until this moment how cramped her toes had been.

“Don’t know how you survive that ridiculous footwear, pet. It’ll give you pains, you keep it up.” He was kneading the balls of her feet, and it felt really, really good. The constant thrum of her desire seemed to be abating somewhat at his touch. Perhaps the touch of one vampire was as good as another?

She felt her whole body relax as he continued his inane patter while caressing her feet. This shouldn’t feel good. He was her enemy. She was going to stake him the first opportunity she could.

His hands were on her shins now, still working their magic. She started to panic a little when his hands passed her knees and started work on her thighs. She tried not to be disappointed when instead of heading towards more intimate areas, Spike’s hand moved to her right palm and massaged it slowly. She didn’t protest as he raised her hand to his lips, and let his tongue travel around her wrist and down the side of her pinky. Then he carefully placed one finger at a time inside his mouth and sucked on it gently. Putting her arm down again, he reached towards the other, just the barest of touches grazing over her breasts as his hand stretched across her body. He had to stop short of his goal; in his current condition he couldn’t reach over that far. Before he could say anything, the Slayer folded her arm across her stomach to where he could easily reach it. Smiling, he treated the left hand as he had the right.

Finally removing his hands from her body, Spike rolled his chair closer to the head of the bed.

“Right then,” he said. “Turn over.”

‘Turn over?’ she thought. ‘With my back to him, I’d be completely vulnerable. Plus, ewww.’

“Go on. I won’t hurt you,” he whispered. “Just want to rub your back and shoulders for you.”

“Why would you want to do that Spike?” The fondling her thighs she could understand, maybe even her arms, but him wanting to rub her back – not so much.

“You’re all worked up, tense.” He had taken her hand in his again and was caressing it much as he had her feet. “You won’t enjoy it in that state.”

He tried to lean towards her but winced and pulled back. Instead he took her face in his hands and brought her closer to him, until he was whispering in her ear. “He said we had to shag, yeah, but he also said we had all night, or near enough. As much as you might not believe it, I’d rather have you a willing participant.”

The Slayer was nonplussed. “Willing? And you think you can make me willing by giving me a backrub? I can tell you without doubt that I will never willingly sleep with you, Spike.”

“Right. Just like you’d never willingly sleep with Angelus.”

He knew he’d gone too far when he saw her eyes narrow. He didn’t even have time to duck as her fist hit him full in the nose.

Screaming, Spike reached for a towel to staunch the bleeding. “Bloody hell, Slayer, it’s not enough you have to put me in this sodding wheelchair, you’ve got to break my nose too? I was trying my best to make this pleasant for you. Trying to help you make the best of a bad lot, yeah. But if you’re so bound and determined to let him hurt you, I’m not gonna stop it. Do what you want. I wouldn’t shag you now if you begged me.”

Grabbing hold of her arm he hauled the Slayer up close to him again. “If you want to try and take him on, I won’t stop you pet. Heck, if I was up to it I might even help you. I’m just saying you need to choose your battlefield, is all. Take him by surprise. There’ll be no surprise or home field advantage if you choose to make your stand tonight. Hell, that’s probably what he wants. But if you let me fuck you, you’ll live to see another night. Get a chance at taking him down another time. At any rate it’d be a sight better than offering your neck to me like a lamb to the slaughter. You go down without a fight, and the bastard’s won.”

Buffy had never been so confused in all her life. In that one moment of weakness she had been so upset by Angelus’s betrayal that she had been willing to let Spike kill her. But what Spike said made a weird sort of sense. If she was ready to die, she shouldn’t throw her life away. She should do it like a Slayer. She should go down fighting. And if she could take Angelus down with her, so much the better.

What did it matter, really, what she did or didn’t do with Spike in this locked room? She was probably going to die soon, anyway, so what did it matter? If she gave in to Angelus’s demands and slept with Spike, he wouldn’t anticipate her attack the following night. If she could just get through tonight, she could face Angelus whenever she was ready. When she was fresh and rested. When she had made up her resolve. It made sense.

Reluctantly she closed her eyes and gestured for Spike to join her on the bed.

10. Get it Done


Buffy still had her eyes closed as she felt him hoist himself up onto the mattress. She hadn’t really been paying attention as he had deftly steered his chair around the bed so that he could touch her. It hadn’t really occurred to her that it might be difficult for him to maneuver in the state he was in. She had hardly thought about it at all except when she had watched him wince in pain when he had tried to reach across her body. Would it hurt him, what they were going to do? Not that she cared.

She squeezed her eyes shut tight as she waited for the inevitable weight of him between her thighs. She squeezed them tighter as she felt his hand on her stomach, then lower down, caressing her sex, but she tried to block it out. All she had to do was endure it, and then she could go home and plan all their deaths.

Whatever he wanted to call it, and regardless of the fact that she had reluctantly agreed, Buffy knew what was going to happen. Spike was going to rape her. If she was lucky it wouldn’t be too painful, and at least it might calm this primal desire for sex that she couldn’t seem to reason away.

Eyes closed she waited, but the expected pain didn’t come. Whatever he was doing now, it felt really good. It was just the slightest pressure, almost like a cool breath against her most sensitive areas. And then…she opened one eye and saw him look up at her, sucking in his own lower lip with his teeth and then running his tongue over his upper lip. It looked sexy as hell. At last he bent his head down to her cunt again, and ran his tongue lightly over the lips of her vulva.

It felt like liquid fire, and despite herself she could feel her body begin to respond to him. She couldn’t help but begin to writhe and moan. After a moment she could feel the change of the texture of his tongue and knew he must have changed into game face. For a moment she panicked and began to struggle; not even Angelus had dared to bite her there! Straining she tried to get away, but although Spike couldn’t use his legs, his arms were incredibly strong. He held her in place.

Looking up again he smiled one of his insane, mocking smiles. In game face, rather than being reassuring, the grin made him look demonic. Seeming to know what she was thinking, he tried to calm her with gentle words, “Easy, pet. I’m not planning on hurting you.”

This time he gently sucked her nib into his mouth, then let it go with a plop. Oh god, it felt good. If only she could trust him.

Raising his head again, this time in human face, Spike looked into her in eyes and continued his plea. “… at least not much. Both have our orders don’t we? Just relax, and enjoy it. This isn’t a vampire thing, luv – humans do it too. And it’s usually very enjoyable for the woman. Least it looks like it is.” His tongue teased her opening before thrusting inside, then slid out again to pull on her clit. She could feel the edges of his fangs as they pressed gently against her labia. The implied threat was there, but they drew no blood.

She could barely make out his words as Spike continued talking without stopping what he was doing.

“Angelus hasn’t done this? Boy’s too stupid for his own good. Tell you what – I do anything to you that you don’t like, just tell me and I’ll try something else.”

Spike looked up for a moment, cocking his head to the side and searching the ceiling. He thought he’d just heard something. The sound of a spy hole being opened, or closed, he couldn’t tell which and it didn’t much matter. He knew well enough to act as if he were being watched at all times. Ignoring it, he grinned down at the Slayer again. “Tell me, do you want me to stop?”

Without waiting for a reply he lowered his head again, and this time sucked her clit into his mouth. She had never felt anything like it. He waited for her to stop moaning and rotating her cunt against his mouth before he let her go. “Didn’t think so.”

But she surprised him, responding viciously even as her body started to spasm. “I don’t want to do any of this with you, Spike. You’ve just convinced me that it’s better than being flogged, and that’s all.”

Momentarily removing his mouth from her clit Spike thrust two fingers inside her drenched opening, prolonging her orgasm. “That right, Slayer?” he drawled.

Then his mouth was on her again, fangs just barely raking her clit as she screamed out in a second orgasm so intense she literally saw stars. Letting go and shifting his bite towards the femoral artery, Spike dug in with his fangs again and began to suck in earnest. The taste was even better than he had remembered. Then again, he’d never drunk a Slayer’s combined blood and cum before.

Apart from the fantastic high, he could feel the elixir moving through his damaged body, healing him cell by cell. If he could get enough of her blood, he’d be out of the chair in no time at all. How many times had he protested that things would be different if he had been whole?

The blood was having another affect on him as well. When he had killed his first Slayer, the taste of her blood had had a similar effect. But even completely draining that Slayer in China had been nothing compared to this. The draining part had been very quick, and all business. It was only after she was dead and the blood hit his system that he had begun to feel the incredible affects of the aphrodisiac.

This Slayer seemed to get off on the bite itself. It was incredibly erotic. As much as he wanted to continue to drink her down, he needed to have his cock inside her, now.

The blood he had already consumed helped some, but it was still going to be difficult. Gone was the catlike grace he usually had, as he crawled his way clumsily up the Slayer’s body, using only his arms and dragging his useless legs behind. Luckily the Slayer’s eyes were still closed, so she didn’t have to see how awkward his movements really were.

Bracing himself on one arm, he used the other to unfasten the clasp on his jeans. His cock was rock hard and throbbing, the borrowed blood intensifying the already strong need within him. Pushing his jeans down far enough to maneuver took a few minutes more, and he didn’t think he could stand to wait another second. Fortunately he had already hiked her skirt up to her waist, and she had taken off her panties herself, so there was no barrier left between them.

Balancing now on the other arm, he took a second to check that her body was still ready for his, plunging two fingers back into her core. Finding her still wet, he positioned himself at her entrance and pushed in just the barest bit before stopping.

“Open your eyes, pet. I want you to look at me as I fuck you. I’m not going to lie to you and call it ‘making love,’ like the poofter. We’re fucking here, Slayer. Plain animal heat and desire. I’m gonna fuck you till you scream.”

Finished talking, he thrust in all the way, a gasp of pain and pleasure following fast on the heels of one another. She was tighter than he could have imagined. It was hard to believe that the poofter had been having her nearly every night now for weeks. Then again, she was the bloody Slayer. She healed fast. Given enough time between pokes and she’d probably grow a new bloody hymen. Wouldn’t that be a gig!

Every time he pulled back he extended his arms, and every time he pushed forward he let himself back down, as if he were doing exercises. He wanted to pound her into the mattress, grind his pubic bone against her clit until she was screaming underneath him. But every time he forgot and moved his hips rather than his whole body, a surge of agony shot through him.

They’d been going at it for five minutes before the Slayer finally noticed. She’d never understand that the pain didn’t matter.

“Spike. You have to stop. This is hurting you.”

“Can’t stop. Don’t wanna stop. Wanna fuck you till you scream.”

She reached up and grabbed his forearms, used her incredible strength to keep him from pushing back down into her. They grappled like that for a minute, until it became plain that Spike was not going to relent. It was torture, not being able to sheath himself all the way inside her, and before he knew it his eyes were tearing and he was swearing and pleading like penitent on his way to hell.

“Please, Buffy. Please. I can’t stop now. I need to be in you. I need you.”

Never in a hundred million lifetimes would Spike have predicted what the Slayer did next. It might have been pity, but he was vain enough to hope that it was her own desire that spurred her actions.

Without the slightest bit of warning, without so much as a by your leave, the Slayer neatly flipped them over so that Spike was laying flat on his back with the Slayer still intimately connected above him.

“Lie still,” she ordered, as she continued to thrust up and down on top of him. Her eyes were closed again, as she rode him relentlessly.

It still hurt. Every time she pressed him down firmly into the mattress it hurt like bloody hell, but he wasn’t about to let her know that. She might stop all together, and he didn’t think he could stand that.

He was as close to heaven as he was ever likely to get. His body was burning and thrumming with fresh Slayer blood, and his cock was ready to burst from the feel of warm Slayer body pounding above him. He’d never forget this night if he lived to be a thousand.

11. Thanks for the Memories


After they were finished, the Slayer fell asleep in his arms. Spike could scarcely believe it. His arms were full of warm, satisfied, sleeping slayer, and all he could do was look at her while she breathed. She was exquisite. From the tip of her toe to the top of her head, she was perfect. If only he was hale and whole, life would be complete. He determined that he was not going to fall prey to the urge to sleep that was starting to creep over him. He didn’t want to miss one minute of the time that they had together.

Just as he was beginning to drift off, the door slammed open with a bang. Stomping in, Angelus barely stopped for a moment to survey the scene before hauling Buffy out of Spike’s arms and settling her in his own embrace. Looking her over critically he finally brought his mouth to hers and kissed her.

“Good girl. I knew you could do it. Now get your clothes on and go home, Buffy.” Carelessly he swatted her rump and pushed her towards the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. She couldn’t even remember having taken them off. “Maybe you’ll think next time before you decide to defy me.”

Angelus then turned his attention over to Spike. The vampire was looking far too smug for his own good. “Hope you enjoyed your little taste, boy, because that’s all you’re likely to see for a long, long time.”

Angelus reached to throw Buffy’s panties to her when suddenly he stopped and breathed in deeply. He’d expected to smell sex, and he had. Nothing had seemed unusual to him at first, except of course it was Spike’s scent on her, and not his own. But now that he thought about it, that wasn’t right. The scent of sex permeated the room. But it wasn’t just sex. Now that he’d noticed it, the smell was obvious; it was Buffy’s blood and cum. Neither of which Spike was entitled to. He’d known Spike would take full advantage of his gift, but he really hadn’t expected Buffy to like it. Her blood and cum belonged exclusively to him.

Narrowing his eyes and growling deep in his throat, Angelus’s true face came forth all on its own. His voice was full of menace.

“Thought I said not to hurt the girl, Spike.” He could hardly complain out loud about the other. He remembered taunting Buffy, telling her that she might enjoy it. He didn’t want to lose face in front of her by admitting that he was jealous that Spike had been in fact been able to make her enjoy it. The girl was simply addicted to sex. That had to be it. It didn’t matter who was doing to honors.

Angelus had made it clear that he was not happy about something, but Spike wasn’t sure what it was. Buffy was fine – she was still hunting out the rest of her clothes.

“I didn’t hurt her.” Spike smiled. “I did just what you told me to do.” He crossed his arms behind his head and relaxed back into the cushions. “If you’re not happy that the chit actually liked it, well, that’s not my fault. Oh, wait, that’s not right. It is my fault that she enjoyed it. But you’ve got no one to blame but yourself, you ponce. Didn’t quite work out the way you wanted it to? Well that’s just too bloody bad. It’s not my fault that you’re too bloody stupid and self-centered to think about what you’re doing.”

Angelus’s eyes narrowed and gleamed golden. Spike always had been insufferably cocky. He needed to be taken down a peg or two. Reaching with one arm, he pulled the crippled, insolent childe up by his hair and whispered in his ear.

“I told you not to hurt her – didn’t I? That includes no biting you worthless excuse for a vampire. Don’t think you’re going to get away with this.”

Never one to back down easily, Spike still couldn’t resist needling him. It seemed intolerably long since he had been able to strike back at Angelus in any real way. And he seemed quite put out about him and the Slayer, even if Angelus had instigated it. “Well, I wouldn’t say it actually hurt her when I fed from her. She seemed to quite like it actually.”

That just made Angelus madder and he threw a helpless Spike against the headboard then made to grab for him again. Buffy’s hand stopped him.

“No. Spike and I both did what you asked. Leave him alone.”

Spike’s smug smile annoyed him. Buffy was defending this piece of slime? Angelus’s eyes flashed bright red for moment, then calmed down as he turned to his girl.

“You’re all right, Buffy? You don’t want me to stake this piece of trash for you?”

“If there are any vamps to be staked, Angelus, I’ll do it.” Was that a threat in her voice? “I’m just fine, so leave off with torturing vamps who can’t fight back.”

“Are you actually defending him, Buffy? That seems… uncharacteristic, to say the least. Weren’t you two at each other’s throats the last time you met?”

“Yeah, well, things change.”

That answer didn’t seem to sit well with the self appointed Master of Sunnydale. He turned back to his errant childe. “So tell me, was that little taste worth it? Was it worth the pain that I’m going to put you through?” His sire had never actually said that he couldn’t feed from the girl. Spike felt that he was totally in the right. What was not expressly forbidden was always permitted. But Angelus didn’t seem to think so. What game was he playing?

For the first time since this little drama began, Spike began to be concerned for his safety. He knew that Angelus was pissed, but he wasn’t killing angry, or Spike knew he’d already be dust. It wasn’t like he could really defend himself against the lummox. Again, he figured that this little scene was being played out for the Slayer’s benefit, he just didn’t know why, or what his part was to be.

Best case scenario, if Angelus beat him now, or made him bleed out the Slayer’s powerful blood that was already in his system, it might set this accelerated healing back by months. The little bit of blood he’d had already drunk had already started to work on healing his back. He didn’t want any further injuries to dilute its potency. He didn’t care about a few bruises; he wanted to be able to walk again. It didn’t matter what it cost him; he wasn’t about to waste this opportunity.

“I had to, Angelus,” he finally admitted, anxious to avoid a sound pummeling. “You told me and the bint in no uncertain terms that you wanted us to screw.”

Angelus waited, “So? Screw is not the same as bite, Spike.”

“But,” he really didn’t want to say this with Buffy in the room. She might get the wrong idea. “I was just doing what you said.” He looked at Angelus and tried to convey his thoughts without actually having to say the words. He wasn’t sure if Angelus was just being his usual dense self or he really didn’t understand the mechanics.

Finally in frustration, Spike whispered so he hoped that only Angelus could hear. “Did it never occur to you that there might have been a bit of a problem?” He gestured towards the hated chair tossed to one side next to the bed. “Paralyzed. Can’t feel anything from the waist down.” He hoped that was enough to give Angelus the general gist. It wasn’t. Or else he really was a sadistic bastard and was forcing Spike to say it just because he wanted him humiliated.

“The blood’s an aphrodisiac, Angelus. You know that.” He wasn’t about to admit to its restorative powers as well. What the poof didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Angelus still just stood there, glowering at him.

Spike was right angry now himself. Angelus was going to make him spell it out.

“I needed it, alright? To do what you said we had to…I bloody well needed it. It was a serious injury, you know. More than just my legs were affected.”

Finally the great Poofter caught on, and burst into laughter. “Oh, this is too funny! The great William the Bloody, literally laid low by a church organ.” Spike knew he was never going to live this one down. “Oh, how he’s fallen, and can’t get up!” Angelus snorted at his own joke. Bloody brilliant it was too. “William the Bloody Impotent. William the Flaccid. It’s too funny.” He kept shaking his head and laughing. “And to think, I had no idea. No idea at all. Who knows, without that little bit of a jump start you might never have gotten it going again.”

Still giggling, Angelus headed out into the corridor.

Blushing with shame and fury, Spike reached out and put a hand on Buffy’s arm as she made to follow the git down the hallway. She wasn’t laughing at him, or he didn’t know what he might have done.

“For what it’s worth, Slayer, I don’t think the Poof’s likely to turn you anytime soon. There’s no telling what would happen to your blood if he vamped you. As long as you’re willing to give him access, he’ll be willing to keep you on tap. It’s like the bloody goose and the golden egg. That’s my opinion, anyway. You’ve got some time to decide your plan of action. And if you want my help, let me know.” He was tired of being the butt of everyone’s joke. Tired of not getting the respect he bloody well deserved. As soon as he could, things were going to change.

Chapter 12: Blood



No one was more puzzled over the events of the night than Buffy. She couldn’t quite get her mind around what had actually happened. She’d had sex with Spike, and liked it.

And they had talked. What had that been about?

Had Spike told her the truth, or had it all been lies? Certainly he had given her some good advice on dealing with Angelus, hadn’t he? Or had he merely been cautioning her to obey so that he could get what he wanted – or was he really trying to tell her something important? Surely that one part, Spike’s own conflicted feelings about his sire, his willingness to help her against him, surely that was a lie?

But most important to Buffy at the moment was what Spike had said about her blood. He’d said it was an aphrodisiac, and Angelus hadn’t even bothered to contest it. Everything that had happened had begun with her blood. It wasn’t until he had nearly drained her that Angelus’s behavior towards her had changed. And it wasn’t until after she had been forced to drink her own blood that she had begun to return those feelings.

If it was true, then that changed everything. If her blood really was that strong an aphrodisiac, then none of it was real. Angelus’s feelings for her, her own conflicted feelings for Angelus, were all being influenced by the narcotic effects of her blood.

It would be an easy explanation. Something she might even be able to tell her Watcher. She had been drugged, addicted. That was why she had let herself fall into a relationship with the unsouled vamp in the first place. That was why she couldn’t seem to gather the resolve to leave him. To stake him.

But Spike’s revelation didn’t entirely make sense to Buffy. For one thing, it didn’t really explain why Angelus was reluctant to kill to her outright. She hadn’t understood Spike’s cryptic reference to her as a goose.

Unfortunately, Willow was no where to be found, so she had to make do with Xander. He might not know, but at least he wouldn’t question her. Giles was far too canny to answer her questions without wanting to know why she asked. And there were so many things going on in her life right now that she didn’t want her Watcher to know about. She tried to stay as far away from Giles as possible.

Catching him on the way to lunch, Xander claimed to understand the reference. “Let’s see. Goose that laid the golden egg. From Jack and the Beanstalk, or maybe it was Puss and Boots, I’m not sure. You’ve never heard of this?”

Buffy shook her head. “What I want to know is what was so special about this goose, and why didn’t the farmer, or whatever, kill it? Was it a pet or something?”

“No. See, it’s like this.” Xander was proud to be the teacher for once, the answer guy. “The goose lays golden eggs. If you kill it, well, you get a nice roast goose dinner, but then, no more golden eggs. Think about it Buffy. One goose dinner, or golden eggs every day for the rest of your life – or the goose’s life at any rate. How long do geese live anyway? Does anyone really care enough to find out? I mean, have they done studies? Why’d you… ”

“So, you’re saying they kept this goose around because of its special abilities – it was magic or something, and its eggs were special, valuable. All the other geese were still just food.” She put her hand to her neck. “And if the goose got too old to lay eggs anymore, roast goose here we come.”

“Pretty much, yeah. What’s the big?”

“Oh, it was just something one of my teachers mentioned,” she lied so easily now. “I didn’t get the reference. But it was like he expected everyone knew what he was talking about, and I didn’t want to interrupt and look like an idiot, which is why I came to you.”

Buffy smiled happily at Xander. She thought she’d come up with a pretty good explanation on short notice. No way was she going to tell Xander who had really made the reference to the fairy tale, or exactly who the goose was supposed to represent. Abruptly pushing aside her untouched lunch, Buffy rose to leave, “I need to find Willow.”

As usual, Willow was in the library. Fortunately, for once Giles wasn’t there. “Wills, how about we go somewhere we can talk? Where we won’t be interrupted. You know, girl stuff.”

Once she and Willow had the girl’s room to themselves, Buffy barricaded the door. Anyone who came along would think that the bathroom was under repair, or they’d be in on the ruse and know that whoever was in there didn’t want to be disturbed. Buffy knew several cheerleaders who claimed to do it all the time. She told herself that she didn’t feel bad. It was a big campus, whoever needed the facilities would have to find another restroom. She’d just have to try and make sure that no one noticed her sneaking out of the supposedly closed restroom, or rumors would start flying.

Once she was certain that they wouldn’t be disturbed, she went straight to the point.

“Willow, what do you know about blood?”

“Blood? You mean like menstrual blood? Buffy, surely you know all about the birds and the bees by now…?”

“No, Willow. And can I say, ewww. I mean regular people blood, as in vampire food. I mean, like why do vampires have to eat people, and not cows or pigs or something? Are there like different kinds of blood, like flavors or something that makes some better than others?”

“Oh. I see what you’re thinking. Like, how do vampires choose potential victims? Is it some specific thing they look for, or is it all just random? Good thinking Buffy. I’d guess that it is some combination of both. Like, if you’re being picky maybe you’re in the mood for seafood or Chinese, but if you’re just hungry, you’ll settle for one of those doublemeat burgers.”

“Yeah. I get that Willow. But are there differences, real differences I mean?”

“Well, certainly people blood and animal blood are very different. They did experiments with that, oh, at least a hundred years ago. Not interchangeable. But to a vamp? I don’t know if it makes a real difference. Probably tastes different though. Lots of things probably affect that. Most likely what type of diet the person or the animal had. Is that what you want to know?”

“Let’s focus on people blood. It’s not all the same, is it? I think I remember something from some an old episode of Doogie Howser about it.”

“That’s right, Buffy. People blood also comes in different types: O, A, B and AB. There’s also a positive and negative factor, but that’s more rare. For the most part it doesn’t matter, unless you need a transfusion. But I suppose that to a vampire each type may taste a little different. Don’t know how they could tell though, until they bit you. And then it wouldn’t really matter, cause hey, already opened.”

“Is there any way I can find out my type? I mean if I’m something unusual…”

“Sure. It’s easy to do. They used to do in high school biology classes all the time before bodily fluids became such a big phobia. I can do it in the Chem lab. Why are you so curious all of a sudden?”

This was the hard part. Buffy had decided that she needed to confide in someone, and Willow was only one she could think of. “I know you’re gonna freak Will, but Angelus has bitten me.”

“What! Are you okay?” Buffy could tell by her flushed composure and fluttering hands that Willow was panicking. She just sat and stared at her friend for a few minutes until she calmed down. For someone who was really bright, sometimes Willow could be kind of dense.

Finally Willow got a hold of herself. “Oh- stupid question, of course you’re okay. Cause you’re here, talking to me, you can’t be lying dead in an alley somewhere. Why aren’t you dead in an alley somewhere? I mean, if he got close enough to bite you, you should be dead, right?”

“I guess so,” Buffy admitted. “I was stupid Willow, I know. But I’m beginning to think that there’s something special about my blood. Maybe because I’m the Slayer, maybe not. All I know is that Spike said something about Angelus not killing the goose that laid the golden egg, and I’m beginning to feel like I’m the goose.”

“Spike? You’re talking buddies with Spike now?”

“No. Well, yes…but…”

“Buffy, what is going on?” Willow stood and looked down at her friend with her resolve face. She was going to get to the bottom of this. “I know there’s more to this than you’re telling me if you’re having conversations with Spike and letting Angelus bite you.”

Withering under Willow’s stare, Buffy hid her head and mumbled, “I’m sleeping with him.”

The redheaded girl let out a shriek that could probably be heard in the gym on the other side of the school. “With Spike?”

“No. Angelus.” Buffy hid her face in her hands, and then amended her confession, but so softly that she was almost positive that Willow didn’t catch it. “Well, Spike too, but just the once.” She opened her fingers just a bit and peered out at Willow to gauge her reaction. “The first few times I really didn’t want to.”

“Ewww. Wait a minute, does that mean…more than once? And you wanted to?”

Buffy just shrugged her shoulders. She still wouldn’t raise her head and look Willow in the eye. “Well, I suppose that answers the question of why you’re still alive. But I still don’t understand why you haven’t dusted him, Buffy. What gives?”

Buffy sighed. How could she explain what she didn’t understand herself?

“I’m not sure, Willow. At first, well, I thought there was still something of Angel left in Angelus, and I loved him so much, it only seemed natural to love Angelus too. And he’s tried to be good Willow, really he has. He’s given up eating people and everything.”

Willow was not convinced. “And you know this because he told you so? Did it never occur to you that he could be lying?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? Do you all think I’m stupid? I know, because I know, okay. I patrol every night. I know who’s out there feeding and who’s not. Besides, Spike confirmed it.”

“Yes, the other part of this puzzle that makes absolutely no sense. You’re having conversations with the evil vampires you are supposed to kill. Worse yet, you’re sleeping with them and allowing them to drink from you? And you don’t see how wrong this is? We need to talk to Giles, Buffy. They’ve got you so deep in thrall that you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“No, Willow, no,” Buffy was the panicky one now. “I can’t talk to Giles about this. It was hard enough to come to you, and you’re my best friend. I don’t think it’s thrall, Willow. I really don’t. But it may be something else that is making me act this way, and I need to find out. That’s why I was asking about the blood, Willow.”

“But it doesn’t make sense, Buffy. Even if Slayer’s blood is different, you’ve been the Slayer for what, two years now? And plenty of Slayer’s have been drained by vampires. I don’t have the numbers, but I’m sure that at least a quarter of all Slayers have been killed by vampires.”

“That may be true, Willow. But how many of those vampires had the option to keep coming back for more? It’s almost like I want him to drink from me, Willow. Sometimes I crave it.”

“That’s just really creepy, Buffy. Why don’t you calm down and tell me how this all started.” Willow sat down by the window ledge and motioned for her friend to join her. “After he changed into Angelus, and after that thing with the Judge, I know you were ready to stake him. Now I find that you’ve changed your thinking so far in the other direction that you sound like you’re ready to take up housekeeping with him.”

“You’re right, Willow. It was after that. That ghost possession thing at the school, that really threw me. And then Angelus got me alone, and I think he tricked me. He convinced me that a part of Angel was still alive inside of him. And I fell for it.”

“But you know now that’s not true,” Willow protested. “Giles said…”

“I’m not sure that everything Giles says is true, Willow. I’ve seen some pretty strange things recently. But it doesn’t even matter anymore.” Wringing her hands, Buffy stood and faced away from Willow. She couldn’t possibly admit what she was about to admit to her face. “I want him, Willow. Angelus. Sometimes I…it’s like I crave him, and I don’t know why. And after what Spike said about the blood…”

“When did you talk to Spike, and if you’re craving Angelus, how does Spike get into this conversation?”

Buffy’s voice was small and tenuous. “Cause I kinda slept with him too.”

“Buffy, how could you? I could almost understand Angelus. I mean, you were in love with Angel, and they are sort of the same person. But Spike’s done nothing but try to kill you since he got here – it’s a wonder that you are still alive, tarnished virtue and all. Buffy, what were you thinking?”

“I was thinking it was nice to stay alive – and so was Spike for that matter. It’s not like it was his idea.”

“Back up there. Whose idea was it?”

“Angelus. It was his idea of punishing me for killing a new fledgling he had made – like I’m gonna stop doing what I do just because he thinks he owns me now.”

“From what I’ve been hearing, I’m beginning to think that he does. I mean, you don’t even try to stake him, or Spike. You sleep with him. Then you sleep with Spike. I mean, you’re not acting rationally. I think we need Giles.”

“No, Willow. No. It was all I could do to tell you, and you’re my best friend. Even so I think you’re about ready to have me committed. Besides, I couldn’t tell Giles about…well, any of it really.”

Buffy was really desperate now. She couldn’t stand the idea of discussing her personal life with her stuffy old watcher. “Besides, I think that I know what’s making me act this way. From something Spike said. There’s something in my blood. It’s like a drug. None of this started happening until Angelus tasted me.”

That wasn’t strictly true, but Buffy certainly wasn’t going to go into that with Willow. “Spike said my blood is an aphrodisiac, and Angelus didn’t even question it, so it must be true…”

“Even if it is true,” Willow protested, “it might explain their behavior, but not yours. It’s the same old blood you’ve always had. Ever since you were chosen anyway, if that makes a difference.”

Her voice was small, “But he makes me drink it, Willow.”

At Willow’s flinch she tried to explain, “Not, directly. But he’ll drink a little, and then kiss me and push the blood into my mouth until I have to swallow or choke.”

At least that was how it started. She didn’t mention how she was now beginning to crave it also.

“I thought at first that he was doing it just to gross me out, but now I think that it helps him control me – reduces my inhibitions, makes me suggestible, something.”

“Well, we can look at some of your blood under the microscope. See if there is anything in it that is different from normal blood. That might be helpful.”

“Sure, Willow. Whatever you think might work. I’m getting desperate, I’ll try almost anything. Anything that doesn’t involve having a really awkward and gross conversation with Giles.”

13. Experimentation can be fun

Later in the Chem lab, while Willow was drawing the blood and testing it, Buffy had to restrain her desire to taste it. There was definitely something going on here that wasn’t right. She shouldn’t crave the taste of her own blood. Suddenly she had a horrible thought, ‘What if I start to crave the blood of others, like a vampire?’ She knew she couldn’t stand to live like that. She was on the edge as it was.

Willow just had to be able to find something with all her centrifuges and sciency equipment!

“Nope. Nothing. Perfectly normal, everyday human type O blood. Nothing special about it at all.”

“Are you sure Willow? Maybe it’s something that wouldn’t show up on a normal blood test. Maybe it’s something magical.”

“If so, I’m not going to find anything this way. But, well, we could try another type of experiment. Instead of trying to isolate and quantify something different about your blood, we could set up a controlled experiment, and see what happens.”

“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing? I mean, with all the lab stuff and everything?”

“I mean we do it at your house, when your Mom is out of town. We both agree that we won’t leave the house no matter what. Then we each sample some of your blood, and wait and see if anything happens. Most likely, we’ll just have an old-fashioned sleepover with movies and ice cream. We haven’t done anything like that for quite a while.”

Eagerly, Buffy agreed. “We could even do it tonight. My Mom’s already in L.A.” Buffy didn’t want to admit that she was looking forward to it. It had been days since Angelus’s last visit, and she hadn’t yet gotten to the point where she would drink from herself.

Once they reached Buffy’s house Willow set up the equipment she had borrowed. Being Willow, she carefully measured out a few vials of Buffy’s blood and labeled them. Her idea was that they would each drink one sample every half-hour. If nothing happened after three separate drinks, they’d conclude that the blood had no affect. Of course she had to estimate how much a vampire might actually drink if he didn’t want to harm his victim. And she had no idea how much might actually be necessary to produce a reaction.

Willow grimaced as she forced the warm liquid down, but Buffy was well used to the taste by now. She waited a minute. “Feel anything, Willow?”

“Nope. How about you?”

“Not sure. Maybe it needs a male presence or something.” Buffy tried to hide her disappointment. She tried not to react as Willow licked her lips, unconsciously making sure that she had swallowed every last drop.

“Maybe beginning to feel a little something.” Willow prevaricated. “We should be writing this down.” She pulled a pad of paper out of her backpack and the girls sat in silence for a few more minutes by the kitchen counter while Willow scribbled some notes.

Finally finished, Willow lifted her head and faced Buffy directly, “So, you gonna tell me what it’s like?”

“What what’s like?”

“Sex. I mean, you’ve been with a least two guys, three if you count Angel and Angelus as different people…”

“Oh, they’re different alright.”

“But they’ve got the same body – right? So how different can it be?”

“As night and day, Willow. Angel was sweet. Gentle, and very patient. It was like… well, when I was little I remember first learning to ice-skate. At first I was scared of the ice, afraid that I’d lose control, not be able to stop myself and I’d fall and get hurt. Angel was like my Mom. Patient, held my hand until I felt comfortable, answered questions, let me go at my own pace. But another kid I knew, her Mom just pushed her hard and threw her out on the ice. She had to figure it all out for herself. Angelus is kinda like that.”

Willow giggled. “And Spike? Did he take you skating too?”

Buffy thought for a few moments. “Being with Spike was more like ice dancing. With a partner, you know. But not like those wussy guys in tights, that look really gay. Maybe it’s because I’d had more experience before I slept with him, but it didn’t feel so much like there was any teaching or learning going on. Just…sex.”

“And that’s good, or bad? I mean, who was better?”

“Huh?” Buffy seemed to have been lost in her memory for a moment.

“You just described three different experiences, Buffy. I want to know what it felt like and which was better.”

“It’s not like that,” Buffy stammered. “You know that old song, ‘Love the one you’re with?’ It’s like that. All good.”

“Even when you didn’t want to…?”

Buffy’s first thought was confusion. How did Willow know about that first time that Angelus had forced her? She didn’t want Willow to get any wrong ideas about how dangerous Angelus was – and in itself, what did that say about her motivations and her thinking process?

Willow pressed her question. “Buffy, I mean, you said that you didn’t want to have sex with Spike – didn’t you? I thought you said that Angelus made you do it as a punishment. But then you said it was all good.”

“I…no. You don’t understand, Willow. I didn’t want to. I mean I would never have chosen Spike on my own.” Even if he is the hottest thing this side of the hellmouth. “At least not at first. But he didn’t force me.” Not like Angelus. “They both convinced me that it was the lesser of two evils at the time. I mean, I, eventually, agreed. After that, well, I guess you could say that Spike seduced me. I mean, it wasn’t exactly like he could have forced me from his wheelchair, even if he had wanted to.”

“You did it in the wheelchair?”

“No. We did it in his bed. But Spike was still mostly immobile. He couldn’t…. I had to…”

“Buffy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that shade before. Your face is the color of my hair. I wouldn’t have thought it possible. But then, I’m hearing about a lot of things that I never would have thought possible. So spill.”

Buffy didn’t know why she felt compelled to answer Willow’s questions. Why they were talking about this at all. She was so embarrassed she thought she was going to die or pass out any minute. And it was so hot in here, that didn’t help. She unbuttoned her sweater and took off her over shirt. How could she put this, so she wouldn’t just curl up and die?

“He used his tongue. All over.”

“You mean he didn’t…” was Buffy saying that they didn’t really have intercourse?

“Not at first. It was difficult since he couldn’t move his legs or his hips much. I had to… he couldn’t… I mean, I love it when Angelus slams into me, but this…well, I had to… take charge. I mean… on top. You know how much I love being the one in charge.”

“Mmm,” Willow agreed without thinking. “I mean, sometimes you can be a bit bossy, yeah. But that can be a good thing too.” Willow looked lost in thought for a moment. “You know, it’s been almost a half hour now and I don’t feel any different. I think we should try the second dose.”

“Yeah it really doesn’t seem to be working…”

Two more shots of blood later, Angelus was looking for Buffy. He could tell that she was inside the house, and that Willow was with her. And he could detect traces of other scents too, and those bothered him. There was a faint odor of blood, Buffy’s blood. And he could smell her arousal. He hadn’t come a moment too soon, his girl must be missing him badly again. Just the thought of it made him smile. All he had to do was get her attention so that she could come up with some excuse to send Willow away.

He climbed up the tree so strategically placed outside her room and peered in the window. If he had thought that the smell of her arousal had affected him, it was nothing compared to the sight of what was going on inside Buffy’s room. His anger and his arousal were so strong he would have fallen out of the tree if he hadn’t been so familiar with its branches it was almost like a second home. How long had this been going on? Is this what Buffy did on the nights when he didn’t take her?

Buffy was splayed out on her bed, her hair covering the white pillowcase, while her head thrashed back and forth. Totally nude, her legs were wide open and she was fondling her own breasts. Also nude, Willow crouched near the bottom of the bed, her face buried in Buffy’s warm cunt.

There was no way that he was going to be able to get Buffy alone, even if she was willing to leave Willow for him. He’d have to stay outside, watching, and do what he could to alleviate the sudden insistent pounding in his groin. He was so hard he could probably bore a hole in the tree.

Watching the scene that was unfolding before him, he contemplated the many ways he could make the Slayer pay for what she was doing to him. He’d have to think of something more inventive this time. This time, she was going to get something that she would never forget.

His smile grew. Oh, yes, he knew the perfect way to make her pay for this transgression. She would learn that her body belonged to HIM, and it was up to him what she was and wasn’t allowed to do with it.

14. Punishment


After the frustration of having to sit and watch his Slayer with Willow, the following night Angelus didn’t want to take any chances and started hunting for Buffy as soon as it got dark enough to venture out. He absolutely refused to go another night without her.

As he had hoped, he caught up with her early in the evening. He was still angry at her, and it was time for her to learn that his anger could run both hot and cold. If the lesson he had tried to teach her with Spike hadn’t taken hold, he’d try another way.

He didn’t bother with foreplay, seduction, or even a greeting. Instead he threw her roughly against the wall of the nearest crypt and tore at her clothes. In seconds he was inside her, both fangs and cock. As his tension finally began to ease, he pulled back a little. He was pleased to see that Buffy looked pissed. But then she often did, nowadays. The romance had gone from their relationship, replaced by something more primal and much darker. He didn’t miss it.

Time to begin the lesson.

“Was that good for you, too, lover?”

Roughly pushing him away from her, Buffy straightened her clothes. She wasn’t anywhere near satisfied. The bite had been deep, but he had drained her almost too quickly for her to even feel it. He hadn’t shared it with her either, and the hurried fuck against the wall? Not so much fun as it sounded. It hadn’t been intended to make her cum, and they both knew it.

After last night Buffy was finally beginning to understand the hold that Angelus had on her, and she was looking for a way to fight it. She wasn’t sure she was quite ready to dust him, but she was quickly coming to a point where she felt might have to.

“What was that for?” she complained.

His next words chilled her.

“I went looking for you last night. Found you, too. How long has that been going on Buffy – you and Willow? I don’t like being made a cuckold.”

Crimson, she struggled for words. He must have been outside her window. He had seen them! Her mind rushed with all of the things he must have witnessed.

Frantically she wondered when had he arrived. At lot had gone on in her house last night that she didn’t want Angelus to know about. Aside from the sex she’d shared with Willow, had he figured out what they had been experimenting with? Had he overheard what they had talked about?

In the light of day she realized that they had both been affected by her blood much more than they had suspected at the time. None of it would have happened without the blood, but she didn’t dare let him know that she knew that. Between them, Buffy and Willow had proved Buffy’s point. The blood had a powerful, seductive and subtle affect. They’d been completely high, and hadn’t even known it until the next morning.

It was hard enough to even look at Willow now, let alone talk to her. And now Angelus knew too? She wanted to die she was so embarrassed!

But getting beyond the general mortification, what exactly had Angelus seen and heard? She and Willow had discussed many things, and none of it was anything Angelus would like hearing.

As she thought over the earlier part of the evening she realized that it would only enrage him further if he learned what she and Willow had been trying to find out. As Buffy continued to catalog the night’s events, she suddenly understood that she could be in even worse trouble. She had spoken to Willow candidly about sleeping with both Angel and Spike. She didn’t quite remember exactly what she had said, but she was certain that Angelus wouldn’t have been flattered. It didn’t make sense to Buffy that Angelus had quite literally forced her to sleep with Spike and now was angry about it – but it seemed to be true.

She tried to think quickly. She was already light-headed from the loss of blood. She was going to have to try to curtail his constant feeding off her. Either that or move directly to a more permanent solution to her Angelus problem.

But it was one thing to dust vampires when she had believed that they were little more than animals in human form. And that description did seem to fit the majority of fledglings and minions she had seen. But now she had met two masters, and she knew that wasn’t true. And whatever he might be doing to her – he was only able to get away with it because she let him. He was no longer killing random humans for food. He was doing what she had asked him to. If she killed Angelus now, it would feel like murder.

What did she want to say? Oh yeah, something that wouldn’t get her in any more trouble. Something he’d find flattering. Something that would buy her some time to think about her options.

Of course, “I missed you.” She ran her hands over his chest, let herself feel the tingle of excitement being close to him brought on. “Let’s do this again, why don’t we? Only more slowly this time.”

Angelus shook his head, but he was smiling. That was a good sign, wasn’t it?

“That wasn’t enough for you, was it? Left you all hot and bothered. Unsatisfied.” It wasn’t a question, but Buffy nodded her head and laid it flat against his broad chest. She had noticed that he seemed to like it when she acted submissive. It wasn’t really how she was feeling at the moment, but Angelus didn’t seem to notice. She just needed more time to decide how she wanted to handle him.

“Good,” he growled. “It was supposed to leave you wanting. That was a punishment Buffy – a very mild one. The next part may be a bit harder to handle, just remember sweetheart, you started it.”

Before she could react he pulled her head back and into the wall of the crypt, knocking her out cold. Last time he’d tricked her into coming into his home willingly. He didn’t think she’d fall for it again.

~*~

When Buffy came to, she found herself in an uncomfortable position. Something cold and hard was pressed against her back. She tried to get up and was stunned when she realized that she could barely move. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she took in the situation. Her wrists and ankles were fasted to heavy metal chains, forcing her to lie stretched out on a cold stone slab, totally nude.

She couldn’t see much of the room she was in, but she knew that she was not alone. She could hear the grunts and groans of someone having sex not five feet away, just out of her limited range of vision.

She heard a gasp and a giggle, then a female voice said, “Our kitty is finally awake. Do you think she wants some cream?”

Angelus’s response came with a grunt and a growl. “You forget, Dru, she’s been a bad kitty and is being punished.”

She heard the giggle again, followed by more grunts and groans. Buffy decided to do what she could to spoil the moment. “Uh, guys? Awake here and like really grossed out. You can let me go home now.”

Completely nude, Angelus stalked into her field of vision – followed closely by an equally naked Drusilla. At least now Buffy knew who she had overheard while she lay helpless. She was surprised at how much the tangible proof of his infidelity hurt her, even if she had almost already decided that she didn’t want him anymore.

“All right. You’ve proved your point. I get it. Really, I do.” She wasn’t about to admit it to him - that she knew about the ‘blood lust’ vampires (and apparently humans) got from drinking Slayer blood.

Angelus had already drunk from her tonight, and apparently he had decided that he was going to punish her by leaving Buffy unfulfilled. He would deny her both a taste of her own blood and his body. As a further punishment, he must have wanted her to be present while he screwed his childe. Still, she rationalized, after his taste of her blood, he must have needed a vessel for the lust it had awoken in him. The quick fuck against the wall hadn’t been enough for Buffy, but it couldn’t possibly have been enough for Angelus either. Drusilla must have been a convenient choice.

After the events of last night, she would be the first to suggest that no one was responsible for what they did while under the influence of the feelings stirred up by her blood.

Dru hid her head behind Angelus’ chest, and he continued to stroke her hair. They showed no sign of pulling apart.

“Look, I’m sorry, alright.” What did Angelus hope to gain from this confrontation? She SO did not need to be forced to watch while he fucked Drusilla. If she gave him what he wanted, maybe he’d let her go. “Listen, I don’t know what came over me last night. It’s not like Willow and I have ever done that before, or ever will again. It just sorta happened.”

She was determined that she wasn’t going to tip her hand that she knew how he had been trying to control her through her addiction to her own blood. Nope, she was ignorant girl, all right.

“We’ll both just have to forgive and forget, okay?”

“What ever does she mean, darling? And you say I don’t make sense?”

Angelus laughed, and kissed Drusilla full on the lips, right in front of Buffy’s incredulous eyes. She was beginning to think that maybe she had this all wrong, and that Angelus hadn’t taken Dru to get back at her, or because of the blood lust.

“I think our little Buffy is confused. You see, she still sees things as a human would. She thinks I slept with you just to get back at her for what she did with that little red-haired girl.”

Dru laughed then. Buffy didn’t like that they both seemed to be laughing at her – that and the fact that nobody was undoing her shackles.

“Naughty girl. Playing games without permission! Daddy says who’s to play and who’s not. Now it’s my turn. Isn’t it Daddy?” Dru was practically dancing up and down with glee, and clapping her hands like a small child. “You said I could, you know you did!”

“Yes. Yes Dru.” Angelus beamed at Drusilla indulgently, stroking her bare breast, bending to bite at her nipple. “You’ve been a good girl, so you get a present. Do you like the way I’ve wrapped it up for you?”

Dru tugged on the Slayer’s chains and made clunking noises deep in her throat. Her eyes sparkled as she turned back to look at Angelus again.

“Like Christmas. We haven’t used the chains in so long…Do you remember the games we used to play with William?”

“Of course, Dru.” He raised his eyebrows and smirked at Buffy. It wasn’t a nice smile. “But now we get to play with Buffy. She’s never played games like this before, so you’ll have to teach her the rules.”

Drusilla moved closer to the supine girl manacled to the stone altar. She leaned over her gently and whispered in her ear. “Grrr. Roughh! It’s going to be ever so much fun, a new dolly to play with!”

Buffy didn’t like what she was hearing. Not one bit. She’d had about as much as she was going to take. “Angel, you’re scaring me. You’ve made your point, and I’ve told you, it won’t happen again. Now let me go, or I swear…”

When Angelus turned to face her, his eyes were cold. Buffy hadn’t seen him look so menacing since their affair first began. “I told you not to call me that! Angel doesn’t live here anymore. And you’d be better off if you’d be quiet and not interrupt us. We’re not nearly finished with you yet.”

“Fine. Angelus. Whatever. You’re pissed. I understand that. But it so wasn’t my fault.” Maybe it was better to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. At least sort of.

“I don’t know what came over us – me.” Thinking fast she tried to make up a plausible excuse. “We were cleaning my weapons, and I, I, cut myself on one of my short swords. I sucked the cut to stop the bleeding, and the next thing I know I’m all over Willow. It was kind of freaky. And totally not something that I would ever do again. And I’m sure that it wouldn’t have happened if you had been around…”

If he had taken her not so subtle hint about how she had been affected by tasting her own blood, he wasn’t admitting it. Surely it was something that he had to know. He was using that knowledge against her – getting her to do things with him she never would have if she hadn’t been driven insane with lust first.

The cold look had gone out of his eyes, replaced by a false caring that was somehow even scarier. His voice was level and calm, like the voice of reason. As if he had only her best interests in mind. For the first time Buffy considered that she might actually be in trouble.

“How do you know it’s not something you want to happen again, unless you try it? You and Willow certainly looked like you were enjoying yourselves, believe me, I know. Passion like that can’t be faked. Maybe you really do swing both ways – I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s a very vampire trait, and the original Slayer was created from a vampire. That’s why we’re so drawn to each other- vampires and Slayers. That’s what I’ve asked Dru here to help you find out. After she’s done with you, we’ll all have a better understanding of just how much demon is really in you.”

“Dru?” Buffy rattled the chains, surely if she put all her strength into it she could work herself free. “There is no friggin’ way, Angelus. She’s nuttier than a Snickers Bar!”

“Why so upset, love?” Angelus cooed. “You did Spike like a real pro. Dru’s my childe as well. Can’t give one a treat and deny the other. ‘Course, if you really didn’t have inclinations that way, I was prepared to give it a pass, but seeing as you obviously do, I don’t really have that excuse anymore.”

He was far scarier when he was acting so calm and deceptively rational. “Why are you doing this to me? What do you possibly get out of it?”

“We’re a family, Buffy.” He smiled patronizingly. “I know that you come from a broken home, so I can understand that you really don’t know what that means. But, my childer and I, we’re …close. What benefits one, benefits all. Besides, you need to be taught another lesson, and you seem too dense to get it through your pretty little head any other way.” His voice had been growing increasingly louder and more irritated. “You are MINE! What you gave to Willow belongs to me and I am the only one who decides who can and cannot have you.”

Incensed that he would put it so bluntly, she momentarily forgot that she was bound and chained in the cellar of his house as the words tumbled out. “Whatever you think, you don’t own me, Angelus. If you keep pushing me you’re gonna find out just how much I am my own woman. I’ll make you wish you’d never been born, or sired, or whatever it is you do.”

Laughing at her threats, he taunted her back. “Good. I’ll look forward to that. Really, Buffy. I enjoy a challenge. I’d like to see what you’ve got. But right now, you’re in Dru’s hands. She can be very creative. Might give you some good ideas.”

He turned to his childe then, and his voice was stern, but kind. “No biting Dru! Do whatever else you like, but there is to be absolutely no biting. And you know that if you can’t obey my rules, I won’t let you play with my toys ever again. Tell me you understand, Dru.”

Apparently chastened, Drusilla bowed and head and agreed. “Yes, Daddy. I’ll be good. No biting. None at all. Not even if she begs for it.” Satisfied with what he saw in Dru’s expression, Angelus started to walk out of the room, only turning back briefly to issue one more warning.

“She’s to be able to walk out of here on her own when you’re done with her, Dru. I won’t tolerate anyone breaking my things.” Dru merely nodded this time, her eyes sparkling as she gazed lovingly at Buffy’s naked flesh spread out before her.

And then Angelus once again turned and left Buffy alone with a deranged killer. An evil killer that wasn’t Angelus, Buffy amended. What was it that he got out of leaving her to the mercy of his crazed family members? Did he really go hide somewhere just out of view where he could watch?

Spike had said that the mansion was riddled with secret passageways and spy holes, and that it was next to impossible to know when you were under observation and when you weren’t. Just where was he going, she wondered as she heard his parting, “Enjoy yourselves, Ladies. I need to go have a talk with a little red-haired girl.”

Dru looked conspiratorially over at Buffy. “I thought he’d never leave. He doesn’t like to let me have my porridge in peace. You’re little Miss Muffit, and he’s the spider. Hanging from the ceiling by a thread, ready to spoil my cream!”

Apparently Dru thought he would be somewhere watching them as well. At least that’s what Buffy figured her ramblings meant. If he were watching from somewhere, at least that would mean Angelus could step in if Dru looked as if she was going to take things too far. Buffy knew very well that Dru was a few aces short of a full deck, and liable to do anything, despite her promises. She could understand that Spike could be trusted to follow his own self interest, but Dru was crazy. She didn’t think that Angelus’s threats would affect her one way or another. The insane vampire had probably already forgotten them.

Dru ran her hands through Buffy’s hair and licked her neck, before removing her own dress. She clapped her hands together while climbing up on the slab Buffy was bound to. “We’ll make lovely music together, dear! Wait and see.”

15. Rescue



Quite sometime later, the sound of a wheelchair scraping over stone rang through the halls, but neither woman seemed to hear it. The Slayer was hovering on the brink of unconsciousness, hoping that she’d drift over the edge. She was covered from head to toe in scratches and shallow (and not so shallow) wounds that Dru had made with her fingernails. And Drusilla was happily licking up the blood she had caused to flow. So far at least, all without one single bite.

Spike contemplated the scene before him. Both women were naked and covered in blood and cum. How the idiot of a ponce could have set up a scene like this and then walked out without staying to watch it was more than he could fathom. Damn, but it was hot! Words couldn’t express how much he longed to climb up there with them and show them both how much they needed his nice long cock to finish off the evening for them. He wasn’t usually one to watch, that was Angelus’s gig, but right now the idea held a special appeal. And of course he couldn’t actually do all the things he was imagining at the moment – not while he was still bound to a wheelchair.

It had been a stroke of good luck that Spike had run into Angelus on his way out of the mansion and found out what was up. Drusilla was unreliable, and Angelus should have known that.

As soon as he was certain that Angelus had in fact left the premises, Spike had called for help. Unfortunately, it had taken him forever to find a minion to carry both him and the chair down the stairs to the basement. He had briefly considered throwing himself down – except that he wouldn’t have been able to maneuver once he reached the bottom. If he’d been delayed a mere half-hour more, and he wasn’t sure that there’d have been much left of the Slayer for him to rescue.

Spike knew that Drusilla was never one for following orders or worrying about consequences! And Angelus ought to have known it too. The only tricky part was what to do now. It wasn’t like he could physically restrain Dru from where he sat. And all of the minions were afraid of her.

“Tastes good, doesn’t it?” Spike called from his chair.

Drusilla barely raised her head to reply. “Mmmm. Delicious.”

“Remember the last time we both tasted Slayer, ducks? That Chinese bird. Remember how we danced all night after that, Dru. Like the sun would never rise again. Do you remember, luv?”

He’d finally gotten her attention. “Like fireflies in the moonlight. Or blackberries and brambles. Do you want a taste, my Spike? Daddy said no, but then he left us all alone. I won’t tell on you. We’ll be naughty together. He said not to bite, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t drink, since she’s already flowing. That’ll teach Daddy to leave his Princess. It’s so much more fun to play together.”

“Now, now, Dru. I think you’ve had enough, and I don’t need any.” The Slayer was almost done for, she was so riddled with cuts and scrapes. But he could see that Dru had only been aroused further by the taste of Buffy’s blood. She wasn’t finished playing yet, not by a long shot.

Spike pitched his voice low and husky, tempting. “We don’t need the pesky Slayer, Dru. I just want you. It’s been so long now since we’ve played together.”

Dru licked her lips and climbed off the pedestal that held the Slayer. Stalking towards Spike, she stopped when the cold metal of the wheelchair barred her way. “But we can’t, Spike. You’re not well.”

“Well enough, pet. Well enough where it matters.” He took her hand and placed it on his straining erection. He was so hard from the sight of the two of them together, it was like a taste of nirvana to finally feel Dru’s touch.

It was difficult to act seductive from the prone position of the chair, but Spike was trying hard. “Don’t bleeding need legs to be a man, Princess. Slayer doesn’t have what you need now, pet. Come here and I’ll give you what you need.” She settled in his lap and he kissed her greedily. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

She broke away, “But Daddy said I was to amuse myself with the Slayer. She’s been bad, playing without permission, and Daddy wanted me to punish her.”

“And you did, pet. You did. But she’s all played out now. And I haven’t even started. You know it’s not as much fun once they’ve passed out. And I’m sure that she won’t come to for quite a while yet.”

This last was spoken louder, so that he was sure that the Slayer could hear him. He could only hope that she got the message, and if she wasn’t really unconscious yet, she’d pretend that she was. He needed to distract Dru from the soft moans beginning to sound again from the broken form on the altar by trailing kisses down her neck. But Dru still wasn’t having any.

She pushed him away. “No, Spike. I want to cut and bash and make her bleed.” She held up her hand and began licking the blood from her fingertips.

“Angelus will be angry if you kill her, Dru.” Reason wasn’t usually the best tactic with Drusilla, but he was willing to try anything. “He may have let you play with her for a bit, but she’s his toy, Dru. They’ll be punishment for you if you break her.”

“I don’t care,” Dru pouted. “She was rude to me and Daddy. I want to watch her suffer.”

“No. You don’t Dru. You just want to hurt something. I can understand that.” His eyes flicked briefly to the Slayer – she was lying still, eyes closed, but Spike could tell she was conscious and aware of what was going on around her. At least she was playing possum like he’d suggested. She wasn’t completely stupid then, though how she had allowed herself to be put in this position, especially after last time, well, it was beyond him to figure it out.

Unfortunately, the Slayer’s super strength was going to work against her in this situation; it had allowed her to endure far more pain than a normal human could stand and still remain conscious. The question he was pondering was whether it would be worth what it might cost him to make sure that the games ended here and now, before any permanent harm was done.

For a moment he considered taking Dru up on her offer and help her torture the chit. But she’d tried to be kind to him, when she didn’t have to. Besides, if he joined Dru and the Slayer took permanent damage from it, there’d be hell to pay for it. Better all in all to end things where they were. Doubtless he would be the one to bear all the blame if the Slayer died from Dru’s attentions.

He raised his eyes to his dark princess and took her hand in his. “You don’t need her, Dru.” He kissed her palm, pulled her close and whispered in her ear. “Do it to me, pet. Won’t matter if my legs don’t work chained to that slab, now will it?” He raised his brows suggestively. “Come on, luv. Give it to me good.”

Drusilla still protested. “But you don’t like it when I hurt you, Spike. You’ve told me ever so many times…”

“Part of the game, innit? It wouldn’t be near as much fun if I let on how much I wanted it. Come on, she’s no use to you anymore. You’ve tasted her, and I know what you need now. Half-dead slayer meat isn’t going to be enough.”

“Alright. But what if Daddy is cross that his toy is gone when he gets back?” Dru smiled like a little girl. “I’m going to tell him it was all your fault.”

“Why would he be cross, pet? He didn’t want her, left her to play with us.”

“He didn’t want to play with us,” Dru whined. “Bad Daddy.”

Sticking one finger in her mouth, Dru appeared to be lost in thought for a moment. Or else she was communing with her dolls again. Perhaps with Drusilla it was the same thing.

“I think you’re right Spike. We don’t need the nasty Slayer. I’ll cut her throat, and then we’ll be rid of her once and all.”

16. Rewards

This wasn’t going the way he’d hoped. Killing the Slayer outright was not part of his plan. And killing her without even drinking her blood? That was just plain stupid. Only mad Dru would think of something like that. Of course he hadn’t drained the Slayer he’d killed in New York, merely snapped her neck. But that had been different. He’d been alone at that particular juncture, Dru having been off on one of her many affairs.

Right now he needed something to distract Dru, get her out of the way for a few minutes while he freed Buffy. “No need to be hasty, luv. Why don’t you go pick out some nice toys, and I’ll get rid of the Slayer.”

Passing over the skeleton key that would open the closet in the storage room, he barely suppressed a shudder at the thought of what Dru might come back with. At least it would buy him a little time to get Buffy out of here. Dru’d probably forget the Slayer was ever there to begin with by the time she came back. Giving Dru the keys to the toy chest was such a novelty for her that she was likely to spend quite some time picking out what she wanted to use. He shuddered again, and questioned whether or not it was worth it. But it was too late now.

As soon as Dru had left the room he turned to look at the Slayer again. She was gorgeous, tied spread-eagled to the slab and covered in bloody runnels. He wasn’t surprised to see that Buffy’s eyes were now open and staring at him boldly. It only made him want her more. If he knew where Angelus was, he might risk taking another small sample of the Slayer’s charms, but he didn’t dare. Instead, he began by unfastening the cuffs that held her wrists to the stone. She didn’t look too seriously injured, but she was bleeding quite a bit so it was hard to be sure.

“You owe me for this one, Slayer.”

She had her arms free and was looking anything but grateful. “What, you mean you didn’t enjoy watching her do that to me? Or that you’re not going to enjoy it now that it’s your turn? You are a vampire, aren’t you?”

The snarky comments did more to allay his worry than anything else she could have said. She was going to be just fine, provided she made it out of the nest without further incident. And that might be a problem, seeing that she reeked of blood and weakness.

But he knew he couldn’t just say that. He snorted. “I’ve just done you a favor, Goldilocks. No need to insult me for it.” He gave her the keys to the cuffs. “You’ll have to undo your legs – I can’t reach.”

Buffy bent and undid the cuffs and began rubbing her legs to get her circulation going again.

“Why are you sticking your neck out for me, Spike? Or is it just that you wanted Dru all to yourself?”

He didn’t think it was worth explaining that he thought he’d be in more hot water if he didn’t put a stop to this. Besides, she was partly right. He did want Dru’s attentions all to himself, and he was willing to allow Dru to do just about anything so that he could have them. But there was more to it. Surprisingly, he had found that he actually liked Buffy. Plus she’d been the best fuck that he could remember in a good long while. Still, he couldn’t exactly say that to her either.

“You don’t deserve this, Slayer. Don’t know how exactly you’ve gotten yourself in so deep, but you deserve better, pet. You’re a fighter. You should go down in battle, not trussed up like a Christmas turkey.”

Spike hoped she was finally beginning to understand. She laid her hand on his knee. “Thank you, Spike.”

“Best way to thank me is to not bloody piss him off again. Whatever it was that you did – you’d better not do it again, or it’s liable to worse for you. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the way the Poof meant for it all to happen. Right down to the bit where I convince Dru to let you go by offering to take your place. The Poofter is good at manipulating people so they do what he wants. Just why he’d want this, I don’t have a friggin’ clue. But I’m more than half convinced that he planned it all. Including whatever imagined offense you committed. Whatever it was, just be sure that it never happens again.”

“It won’t. Believe me, it won’t.”

If she hadn’t experienced it herself, Buffy never have believed that her blood was so powerful to make otherwise normal teenage girls go wild for each other. Something definitely wiggy there. Without benefit of the blood, she was way sure that she did NOT swing that way.

Things with Willow had been pretty strained the morning after. They had both tried to shrug it off as the affects of the blood, but still, neither of them could deny that it had happened.

Suddenly she recalled that it was something Spike had said which had made her want to try out her theory. Perhaps it was only fair that she tell him that she could verify that it was true. Her blood was a strong aphrodisiac. It was clouding all their judgments. Making them do things that they wouldn’t normally do.

Like sleeping with Angelus. Or letting herself be maneuvered into a helpless position where he could do what he liked with her. Not once, but twice. Or maybe it was three times? Four if you included the first time he’d ambushed her back at his old apartment.

God, how had she gotten herself in so deep that she saw Spike as an ally? And yet he was. He was helping her to escape Drusilla, wasn’t he? And even though she was naked and covered in blood, both of which had to be a turn on to a vampire, he wasn’t leering at her or trying to take advantage, well, at least not much.

“You were right, Spike. It was the blood. My blood. That’s what started this whole thing. It’s what’s driving Dru crazy right about now, or at lest crazier than usual. It’s what made me do things that I never would have under normal circumstances.” She stood finally on shaking legs, and began looking around the room for her clothes.

She sighed with relief as she put on her underwear. It SO was not comfortable trying to have a serious conversation wearing nothing but your own blood. She knew she was babbling, but if it distracted Spike from her state of undress…“I think Willow and I proved that whatever is in my blood really works. On humans as well as vampires. Angelus came looking for me last night, and I think he was upset that Willow and I were…” she blushed, making even more blood rush through her body to the point where Spike just wanted to grab her and suck her dry. SO not really what she wanted to talk about.

“Willow and I were already occupied,” she finished lamely. “Hence the turn with Drusilla. I think Angelus wanted to be sure that I was cured of any thoughts I might have in that direction.” She shuddered, “I’m thinking it worked.”

Suddenly it was Spike’s blood that was rushing, though not in the direction of his face. A moment ago he wouldn’t have thought it was possible for him to get any harder. “Now, pet, that’s a sight I’d like to have seen. You and the red bird?” Then it registered, what else she had said. “You’re saying it works the same on you then – humans as well as vamps? If you’re ever short of cash, you ought to bottle your blood and sell it.”

Buffy shook her head; the pins and needles were slowly fading. She was starting to get some feeling back in her legs and would be able to leave soon. “It’s far too dangerous. Plus, I think it’s addictive. I think that’s why Angelus wants me so badly. Why I thought I wanted him so badly. It isn’t love. It isn’t even desire. He’s become addicted to my blood. I didn’t realize it, but I think that I have as well.”

She knew she was in trouble when she started thinking about licking her own blood off her arms. She might have been tempted if she didn’t know what could happen if she gave in to the temptation. She’d probably wind up back on the altar screwing the both of them! SO not a smart thing to do.

“You’d best be on your way, Slayer. You don’t want to still be here when Dru gets back. Don’t let anyone stop you – dust them if you have to. I wouldn’t trust any of the minions near you in your condition. Even though they’ve supposedly stopped feeding and have been specifically warned to let you alone.”

Her smaller cuts had begun to heal already, but the larger wounds were still oozing. “Once Dru starts in on me, I won’t be in any position to help you, and fuck-all knows where Angelus is now. ‘Less he’s off somewhere spying on us. Take a weapon with you.” He pulled a stake out of his boot and handed it to her.

Nodding, she took the stake, gathered up the rest of her clothes, and began heading down the passage. It was only as she started away that Spike realized how strong the scent of her blood really was. He rolled towards her a bit, out of sight from the altar room.

“Slayer, be ready for trouble. You smell like an all-you-can-eat buffet. They’ll be coming out of the woodworks for a shot at you.”

“I’ve got a stake now. I can handle myself against a few minions.”

“They may be young and inexperienced Slayer, but they’re not completely stupid. If they come at you in large enough numbers you’ll be in trouble.”

“What am I supposed to do about it? I can’t help that I’m bleeding. And I don’t think camping out here for another hour or so while I heal up is a very wise idea either. I’ll start healing soon. I’ll be fine.” Why did he care, anyway? Was it because he wanted to be the one to finally drain her dry?

“I can take care of the problem for you – if you let me.” He tried to say it casually, not letting on how much he wanted it.

“What do you mean, Spike? If you come with me, Drusilla will come looking for us. Plus, with the not-standing and all, not so good in a fight.”

“I mean I can stop the bleeding. Stop the blood from flowing, no more fragrant Slayer scent to cause you a problem.”

Buffy was skeptical, “What, you’re gonna do a healing spell?” Aside from the spell to cure Drusilla, Buffy had never known Spike to engage in magic.

“No. Not at all. It’s an old vampire trick. Closes the wounds instantly.” He looked her in the eyes. “By licking them. Something in the saliva knits the flesh.” He didn’t think he’d mention that the trait was mostly used to help keep the food fresh – as in alive- while several vampires fed off of it for weeks at a time.

“Great. Just what I need. Another psycho vamp getting high on my blood! I’m thinking I’ll take my chances with the minions.”

“I’m not going to say that I’m exactly immune to your charms, pet. But unless you’ve forgotten, I’m about to be tied up elsewhere. Besides, if I’m understanding you correctly, it induces a kind of an all-purpose lust – not something directed specifically at you. Right? You’ll be long gone by the time it really starts to take effect.”

Buffy still hesitated, but Spike was persistent. “Let me do this, pet. You’ll be safer, and I’ll…”

He almost didn’t continue, and she stood there for a moment wondering what it was that he didn’t want to say. Finally she prodded, “Tell me, Spike. Why do you want to do this so desperately? I know it’s not just for my sake. Why should you care what happens to me?”

He held her close now, and she could feel his unneeded breaths against her thigh. He had to move his head only slightly to place his lips on a wound that still oozed. She didn’t stop him – it felt too good, and it seemed to be helping the wounds heal as he had promised. Still, there was a vamp in game face just inches from her femoral artery. Again. Buffy trembled slightly as she remembered how he had fed from her there, and held Spike’s own stake tightly in her hand. Fleetingly she wondered why Spike felt the need to carry a weapon in his own home, but the thought was quickly forgotten. She was in her right mind, now, and her trust of him went only so far.

True to his word he began to lick her wounds, carefully keeping his fangs from inflicting further damage, lapping up the blood that streaked her flesh and paying particular attention to the wounds that still oozed.

It was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, not to bite, not to suck even a little of her life-giving blood. He’d only tasted tiny amounts, and that only this twice. But he could easily imagine being addicted to the stuff. Craving her body and her blood beyond all sense and reason, the way Angelus must.

Further, Spike could feel her reaction to his nearness, as he tenderly kissed the blood from her skin, he could smell what Dru had not been able to arouse - her desire. It made sense, he supposed. The intent was different, but to the Slayer it must feel very much the same as the night he had seduced her.

And damn if he wasn’t lying. He did want her. Buffy, and not Dru. He wasn’t sure if it was the blood making him feel that way or Dru’s promised tortures, but right now he’d trade a hundred nights with Drusilla for just this one with Buffy. Unfortunately this wasn’t the time to indulge themselves. It wasn’t safe for either of them.

Finished with her lower extremities, Spike asked her to bend so that he could reach her shoulders and her face. There weren’t really any deep cuts there – perhaps Angelus had instructed Dru to leave her face untouched. Nevertheless Spike acted as if there were, so that he could nuzzle close to her ear. It was always better to be safe than sorry, and Spike wouldn’t put anything past Angelus, up to and including hiding in the rafters somewhere, watching everything he did.

“If you can, do this for me, Slayer. Don’t go after the poof just yet. Give it another few days, a week at most, and I’ll be in a better position to help you.” Neither Buffy nor Angelus seemed to realize the healing properties also inherent in the Slayer’s blood. Just a little more time, and hopefully another infusion of Slayer blood, and he’d be up and about again, good as new.

Finally the last of her wounds had stopped bleeding and he pulled away from her reluctantly. “Go quickly now. Remember I won’t be able to help you if you get into trouble. If they gang up on you, chose the better part of valor and run.”

Buffy hadn’t tasted any of the blood herself, and was wondering why she was feeling like she wanted to jump Spike’s bones. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She knew that it had been the blood that made her act so crazy. Unbidden, a thought popped into her head. She hadn’t had any blood the first time she had been with Spike either. Odd, that she would think of that now.

Buffy pulled away from Spike reluctantly. “Will you be okay?” Her eyes flitted back down the passage towards the room they had just left. What was taking Drusilla so long? Not that she wasn’t grateful.

Wearing his trademark smirk Spike replied, “What can she really do to me, pet? Beat me so badly that I can’t stand?” Buffy didn’t think the joke was very funny, and looked down at him doubtfully, but Spike shooed her away.

“On with you then – scarper off. Don’t worry that pretty little head about me. It’s nothing I haven’t done before. ‘Sides, I’m rather looking forward to it now that I’ve had a taste of you to warm me up. Just don’t think about it if it bothers you. And don’t be surprised if you hear me screaming bloody murder. It’ll catch everyone’s attention, and the minions will be listening to me rather than wondering where you’ve gotten off to.”

Buffy still wasn’t moving. “Go on then. I’ll be fine.”

Spike turned his chair around and wheeled off to stir Drusilla out of her reverie by the toy chest. Buffy waited just long enough to hear him tell her, apparently with all the sincerity in the world, “I’ve missed you, Princess. You’ve been gone too long. You haven’t forgotten me, have you?”

“You Spike? Never. I just wanted it to be especially special, so I looked and looked until I found that I wanted. Ms. Edith told me where you’d hidden it.”

17. Setting Goals

It was only after she’d spoken that Spike saw that Drusilla had eschewed the routine torture devices that the vampires kept around in case anyone felt like playing with their supper. For day to day fun the vampires used normal human devices: designed by humans to torture other humans.

Instead Dru held the delicate tools that were specifically designed to torture other vampires. Spike didn’t know if they had been created by other vampires, the Watchers Council, or Angelus himself, but he dearly wished that they’d stayed hidden. There was no telling how much damage Dru or her Sire could do with those tools if they wanted to. He knew that his screams would not be for show, as he had so blithely informed the Slayer.

Despite what he’d told Buffy, part of him hoped that she didn’t wait for him, that she pulled herself together enough to tell off the Poofter permanently, and soon. He wasn’t sure how much more of this back and forth he could take. But he was grateful that he had at least some Slayer blood running through his veins. Not only would it make it easier to bear the pain Drusilla was going to inflict, but he could feel himself healing from just those few drops he’d swallowed. In addition, the Slayer blood was a strong aphrodisiac, and it was going to make his session with Drusilla that much more erotic. He didn’t quite go in for the ‘pain as pleasure’ bit as much as most vamps apparently did, but the blood would go a long way to making it tolerable. The blood might or might not be addictive, but that was not why Spike craved it. Apparently Angelus hadn’t deduced that it was a strong healing agent as well. Just a little bit more, and Spike would be as good as new.

~*~

Buffy hurried a little further down the corridor, then stopped to finish getting dressed. She felt much better after whatever it was that Spike had done, but she was still hoping that she didn’t run into too much trouble on the way home. It had been an exhausting few days. If she kept this up, she’d have to look into getting some iron pills or something. She didn’t think she was up to being a human pincushion.

She was glad enough of the loan of Spike’s stake by the time she made it over to Willow’s. Apparently Spike had been right, and the scent of her blood, even muted, had attracted more than twice the number of vampires that she usually dusted on a typical patrol. She was lucky that they hadn’t all come at her at once, or she might have been in trouble.

She found Willow alive and well, but crying.

“Buffy! You look terrible!” she managed to get out between the sobs.

“You don’t look so great yourself.” She replied. “But I’m glad that you’re okay. After Angelus tied me up as an appetizer for his ho bag of a girlfriend, he said he was off to pay you a visit. I’m glad he didn’t.”

“Oh, but Buffy, he did.” Perplexed, Buffy looked where her friend indicated. There was nothing there except Willow’s pride and joy. Her fish tank. Buffy looked closer. Where were the fish?

Buffy couldn’t find it in her heart to tell her friend how bad it could have been; what she had feared. They really needed to come up with a spell to revoke the Angelus’s invitation. No one was safe until they could do that. And why did the invite meant for Angel apply equally to Angelus? Was it just a flesh thing, or were they really more alike than anyone wanted to admit? That so could not be true. Not after what he had put her through tonight.

She needed to get her thoughts together and decide how she was going to deal with Angelus. Despite everything that had happened between them, she still wasn’t sure that she’d be able to dust him on sight. It was true she could sneak up on him and stake him when he wasn’t expecting it – but that didn’t seem much like justice. She at least owed him fair warning and a chance to try to explain himself, didn’t she? He could easily have harmed Willow tonight, but he hadn’t. The fish had been a warning. She knew that there were serious problems with their relationship – including but not limited to Angelus’s apparent fascination with sharing her with his childer. But could she bring herself to do it? She told herself it would only be dusting another vampire – something she did every night – but it felt as if she contemplating murdering her lover, which was something entirely different. Even if her lover happened to be a vampire with some kind of twisted sexual deviance. If she killed him, it wouldn’t be because he was a danger to her and to other humans, it would be because she didn’t know how else to get out of the relationship. And that just wasn’t right – no matter what he had done to her personally.

The idea of staking Angelus shelved for now, her mind drifted back to Spike. He’d made the offer to help her dust Angelus twice now. She idly wondered whether the relationship between the two vampires also strained to the point where Spike actually contemplated dusting his Sire? If she could get Spike to do the deed himself, perhaps she wouldn’t have to feel so guilty. But it only took a moment’s self-reflection to realize that allowing Spike to do it would not relieve her to the burden of blame. She would have to come to terms with her own decision.

*~*

By the time Angelus finally made an appearance in the cellar, it was Spike who was struggling to stay conscious. Drusilla had finally given up torturing him, and had lovingly coated his cock with his own blood before sinking herself down on it. He’d finally earned his reward, and he didn’t want to pass out now and miss the good part. It almost made the whole ordeal worth while. Almost.

Angelus was in a good mood when he stalked in to the room where they were fucking. He pretended to be mad that they had sent the Slayer home – but Spike was pretty sure it was just for show. With Angelus, actions spoke louder than words. And what Angelus did was drop his pants and climb onto Spike’s chest, pulling Dru’s mouth down onto his own stiff member.

Spike was glad that he didn’t need to breathe – the position he was in wasn’t really comfortable, but he silently agreed with Angelus, that it was damned arousing – and he was glad to finally be a part of their play. Angelus could have taken Dru to himself and left Spike with no reward at all for his pains. It meant something to Spike that he hadn’t – he just wasn’t sure yet what.

Later, it was Dru who was sent away, while Angelus remained alone with Spike. It was Angelus himself undid Spike’s shackles and helped him get dressed and back in the wheelchair. For the life of him, Spike couldn’t figure out why Angelus was suddenly being so nice to him. He’d probably find out later. Must be some ulterior motive. There always was, with Angelus.

Finally the interrogation began. This, Spike could understand. It began softly, “So, Spike. I see how things wound up. Tell me what happened with the Slayer?”

Spike was suspicious of Angelus’ generous mood, and he snapped back his reply. “Just what I told you would happen when I knew what you’d done. Dru played with her for a bit and got frustrated and started cutting and whatnot. I let it go on for a bit, because I knew that you wanted her punished – but I put a stop to it before it became more than the Slayer could handle.”

Angelus was grinning. That was usually a bad sign. “And I do admire the way that you did it, boy. I knew you would. How was Buffy?”

Just as Spike thought, they had all been played. “What do you think?” he sneered. “She was bleeding, and in pretty bad shape. I told her to arm herself and sent her home.” He wasn’t about to admit to Angelus that he kept a wooden stake in his boot - Angelus was the main person he was trying to protect himself against! “I told her to dust anyone she saw in the tunnels. Despite your feared name and iron control, Angelus, it wasn’t safe to send her home like that. I don’t think there’s a one of the minions with enough sense to resist the lure of all that Slayer blood wafting through the halls.” He wouldn’t tell Angelus how he had solved that problem either. Not unless he was forced to. Angelus didn’t need to know that he tasted his property yet again.

“Good. I didn’t think of that. But Buffy can take care of herself, as long as she’s not hurt too bad. One of things I like best about her.” Along with the taste of her blood. “You’re sure that she was able to defend herself, wasn’t she? Tell me you didn’t send her home defenseless?”

“No, she was okay. They were just scratches, most of them. Already started to heal. She made it home safely.” He thought a moment, “Did you just admit that you planned it this way?”

Angelus just smiled, but didn’t answer.

“Not that it’s any of my business what you choose to do with your human toy, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what you stood to gain by staging this event. Are you trying to get Buffy to the point where she feels that she needs to stake you?”

Angelus didn’t miss that Spike had called the Slayer by her given name. He couldn’t have been more pleased with the way things had worked out. He could afford to be magnaminous. “You’re right Spike. It’s not your business. But I’ll say this much – these past few nights – it wasn’t really about the Slayer. It was about you and Dru. I needed to see how you two would react. Whether or not I could trust you, and how far.” Then he gestured to the block. “I’ll send someone down to clean this place up.” He grinned at Spike. “Do you think Buffy would ever go for this?”

“No. I don’t think she’ll ever be into torture, Angelus. She’s human. Pain just feels like pain to humans. Unless of course you turn her. But of course, that is what you mean to do, isn’t it?”

“Eventually,” Angelus shrugged, as if it was of little import. “I’m enjoying her too much the way she is right now. I haven’t decided. But that’s not what I meant.” He turned so he could look Spike in the eyes as he spoke. “I meant, do you ever think Buffy would ever willingly take us both at the same time like that?”

Despite what she had been through recently, Spike knew that underneath it all, Buffy was still an innocent. It would never occur to her to do what Drusilla had done with the both of them. He’d just had the best vampire sex he’d had in ages, and yet he was suddenly rock hard at the picture Angelus presented. Spike found he couldn’t even answer his Sire, his throat was so dry. Instead they both just smiled at the thought.

18. Revelations



After their moment of bonding in the cellar encounter, Angelus unaccountably took to spending more time with Spike. He’d send Dru on little errands to keep her out of the way and the two of them would talk – or rather Angelus would ask Spike questions, and Spike would try to answer in a way that wouldn’t get himself killed.

Eventually Spike realized where the questions were heading, and he decided that if Angelus really wanted his opinion, then he’d give it to him, if only so he could be left alone again. Suddenly Spike had become the favored childe. It was unnerving – waiting for Angelus’ mood to change again.

Finally Spike decided he had nothing to lose if he spoke his mind. It was just dusk, and Angelus had followed him into the garden. During his convalescence it had become his favorite place in the house.

Gesturing for the older vampire to sit by the fountain, Spike spoke his piece. “Look, mate. If you want to keep the Slayer, it’s not me you have to convince. It’s Dru. Dru can’t stand her. But whether you turn her or intend to keep her human, if you try to keep her here she’ll be in danger.” What he was saying ought to be nothing new to his grandsire. Why Angelus felt the need to make Spike say it had been pressing on his mind. “You and I both know that Dru doesn’t care about your threats, or what the consequences would be. One way or another, Dru would find a way to get to her, and Buffy will wind up dead.”

Angelus shook his head. This was more like a real conversation with Spike than he could ever remember. “I know Spike. Why do you think I send her home again each time she comes here? Why do you think I made sure you were there to watch out for her the night I let Dru play with her?”

Despite what his grandchilde might think, he wasn’t stupid. “I have another solution in mind, Spike. That’s why I tested you both, to see how you’d react to being left alone with Buffy. I needed to know who I could trust, and who I couldn’t. Let’s just say that I was not surprised at the results. And I agree that two women who hate each other in the same household is not going to work.”

He bent over so that his mouth was touching Spike’s ear and whispered seductively. “How about if we send Dru away and keep the Slayer instead?”

Spike was speechless. He’d expected a lot of nonsense to come out of his grandsire’s mouth, but he never expected that. Get rid of Dru? They’d been together for more than a century!

It was true that she’d hurt him by making it clear that she preferred Angelus, but all vamps preferred the Alpha male. He firmly believed that things would be different if he wasn’t as helpless as a baby bound to this wheelchair.

And Angelus was Dru’s sire! How could he even think of sending her away? It was hard for Spike to even imagine life without Dru. The sire/childe bond was strong between them, even if it was Angelus who had actually raised them both.

Seeing the distress in his grandchilde’s eyes, Angelus pulled away. “Think about it Spike. Think it through before you say yes or no. I still haven’t decided – and don’t get me wrong – it’s not like I’m asking for your permission. I’ll do what I choose with or without your consent. But I thought you might have an interesting perspective on the issue.” He chuckled. “Already got part of my answer.”

Spike rallied from his stupor – “What’s that then?”

“You didn’t fly into a rage and threaten to kill me.”

Spike blinked and looked at Angelus with new respect. “You planned this. Manipulated events. Pushed the Slayer and I together.”

“Of course,” Angelus admitted.

Spike was angry. He hadn’t been this angry in a long time. He had never liked being anyone’s puppet. “Why? Were you hoping that I’d be so enthralled with the Slayer by now that I’d forget my sire? That I’d be so enamored of her blood that I’d actually support your decision to oust Dru?”

Angelus smiled and caressed his grandchilde’s cheek even as Spike tried to avoid his hand as if it were a blow. “Well, just because I might have to give up Dru for the Slayer, doesn’t necessarily mean I’d have to give up you as well.”

For the second time Spike was stunned speechless.

Jerking his head away from Angelus’s touch, the chair nearly toppled. “You’ve made it perfectly plain that you don’t care a rat’s ass about me, Angelus. Why’d you expect me to believe this rot?”

“Appearances can be deceiving, Spike. You should know that. Besides, it kept you safe.”

“Safe!” Spike croaked. He’d had more than enough of this crap and wasn’t going to take any more. He began rolling the chair back towards his room as quickly as he could.

“Yes, safe!” Apparently without any effort at all Angelus held on to the chair and forced Spike to stay and listen to him. “By taking control of your minions and declaring you my possession – to kill or spare at my whim- it kept the others from seeking revenge against you. Without my protection, you would have been completely vulnerable to any minion who might have imagined he’d have something to gain by your dusting. Just like with Buffy, I can’t be around 24/7, Spike. How many vampires do you know, besides Dru, that have survived a long convalescence? Not that I don’t appreciate all the trouble you went to getting her well and all – but do you really think it was worth it – seeing how quickly she dumped you when I came along?”

Angelus put his hand on Spike’s knee – moved it further up his thigh, till he found the spot where Spike’s erection was slowly burgeoning. Then he leaned in and kissed Spike full on the lips while stoking him to hardness.

“Just think about it Spike.” He pulled back just a little ways and allowed Spike to search his eyes as if he could see the missing soul. “We’ll talk again later. In the meantime, take the opportunity to get your fill of Drusilla, if she’ll let you. She may not be with us much longer.”

With that he let go of Spike abruptly and stalked off, leaving Spike alone, frustrated and confused in the garden.

Chapter 19: Promises



The next few days were both wonderful and disappointing for Spike. With his grandsire’s permission, Spike took Dru repeatedly in as many ways as he could think of given his lack of mobility. Physically he felt better than he had in a long time – but there were too many questions still on his mind.

Dru could have come to him at any time in the past few weeks– but she had chosen not to. Even now, while she didn’t spurn his advances, she didn’t seek them out either. Spike couldn’t get it out of his mind that she was only sleeping with him now because Angelus had told her to.

She’d made it plain that despite their years together, without regard for how he had protected her and taken care of her when she was ill, Dru still preferred Angelus. Bitterly Spike realized that it might always be this way.

Unfortunately it was a problem that wouldn’t be solved by trading one doxy for another. They were both Angelus’s creatures, Drusilla and Buffy. Although they tolerated his presence, he knew that neither of them would ever seek it out. He didn’t much care for being second choice.

And he didn’t like being beholden to the poof either. He’d been his own man for over a hundred years. He found he didn’t fancy going back to being second fiddle again. No matter how well treated he might be.

Finally, there was Dru herself. He wasn’t sure if his emotions clouded his judgment, but it just didn’t feel the same. He had always thought that he loved his dark princess with his whole being. Now he wasn’t sure if that was true anymore. What had once been earth shattering lovemaking, now tasted like ashes in his mouth.

With her every word, her every motion, he found that he was comparing her to Buffy, and Dru came up clearly lacking. He couldn’t help but hate Angelus for it. For taking away what he had and making him want something that could never be his.

Despite Angelus’s plans, Spike knew that he and Buffy would always have a rocky relationship. Her heart already belonged to Angelus, and he’d just be along for the ride. Somehow he didn’t think that having the occasional use of her body and not the rest of her would be enough for him.

Slowly his back healed to the point where he could stand and walk. Privately, he made sure that he did everything he could to strengthen the muscles that had atrophied during his long recuperation. He was sure that the Slayer blood had helped, but he hadn’t really had enough of it.

Then came the night when he was suddenly whole again. His own man once more, he was the master of his own destiny.

He didn’t make any proclamations of being healed. And if Angelus knew, he turned a blind eye to it, while Dru didn’t seem to notice at all. What the minions saw they wisely kept to themselves. Generally there was no percentage to be had if one got caught in an argument between one’s betters. Alliances among vampires were usually uncertain and changed swiftly. Being quietly subservient was always safer than maneuvering or taking sides. Perhaps they were smarter than he thought.

He had taken to going out for strolls late at night, to build up his strength. At first it was just around the block. Then it was farther. Until now he had almost all of his old strength back, and could travel as far as he liked, without fear of becoming too exhausted to make his own way home.

It was on one of these walks that he happened upon the Slayer. He hadn’t seen her since the night he had rescued her from Drusilla. He assumed that she’d still been seeing the Poof, but he couldn’t be sure. She hadn’t been back to the mansion.

Spike hadn’t been looking for her, exactly, but he wasn’t unhappy to see her. If his traitorous body were asked, he was very happy to see her indeed. But he was uncertain what his Sire’s reaction would be if he and Buffy got horizontal on their own, without his manipulations. They’d finally reached an understanding of sorts, and he wasn’t going to throw it all away for one shag with a girl who would never really be his.

More importantly, he didn’t know how the Slayer herself would feel about it. She hadn’t been back to the nest, either voluntarily or involuntarily. He supposed that Angelus was trying to keep Dru and the Slayer apart. Spike still wasn’t sure if Angelus would try and maneuver the three of them together soon, or not. Either way, he didn’t want the Slayer as his enemy.

“Spike.” She sounded surprised to see him. “You’re walking.”

“Yeah. Still a little wobbly though,” he lied. “I haven’t seen you around much lately. I guess that’s good. Glad you got home safe the other night.”

“Yeah. I guess that I should thank you for that. Was it bad?”

With all that had been going on at home over the last week, he hadn’t really given a second thought to his and Dru’s session in the altar room. He shrugged it off, “I’ve had worse. No permanent damage done.” He couldn’t resist. “Not like what you did to me, luv. Kept me in that sodding chair for months.”

She had the grace to look guilty. He supposed they were friends now, of a sort. Like her boyfriend’s younger brother, maybe. She had to put up with him for Angelus’s sake. “I’m not going to apologize for that. Things were different then.”

“You mean you’re not going to try to stake me, or drop another church organ on my back while we chat? That’s right nice of you, pet.”

“Not unless you take up killing again. Or try to kill me. But I guess things have gone a little far for that.”

She really was naïve if he thought that he wouldn’t kill her just because they’d slept together once, and shared a few confidences. Or even because he’d helped to get her away from Drusilla. He could have had a million reasons for doing what he did. It didn’t mean what she apparently thought it did.

Instead of pointing this out to her, he asked instead, “Haven’t seen you around the house lately. That mean you finally wised up? Gonna give the wanker the heave ho, or the point of your stake?”

Spike was no longer certain which answer he’d prefer. “Poofter claims it was all for your protection. Leaving you with Dru.”

That made no sense. “Protection?”

“Yeah, Angelus has some pretty twisted ideas, but they work. She’s proved she can’t be trusted.”

“Yeah, and letting her slice and dice me was a real good way to find out what he should have known all along! I should dust him just for that.”

It was probably be the wisest course of action. And the outcome wouldn’t be too bad for him. He’d still have Dru, and he would be innocent of Angelus’s slaughter. Still, if she chose to stay with the Poof, that might not be too bad for him either. The thought of the three of them together was intriguing. Either way, he wanted to remain in the Slayer’s good graces. “You find anything else out about the blood? Ask your watcher about it?”

Buffy colored again. She had asked Giles for help. The days of separation had dragged by slowly for her, and her body had started craving Angelus again. She’d told Giles as much as she could, without letting him know what had really been going on. She hoped that she’d be able to outlast the cravings this time, that Giles would find a cure, or that they would simply pass. So far it wasn’t working.

“I let Giles do some tests on it.” Spike raised his eyebrows at that. “Laboratory tests, Spike. Chemical scientificy tests. I didn’t suggest he taste it.” They both laughed at the thoughts of Giles in the throes of uncontrollable lust with no likely victim in range. At least that was the picture Spike’s mind conjured, until he realized who the closest female presence was likely to be – Buffy.

He sobered up instantly. “Make sure that he doesn’t, Slayer.” The tone of his voice surprised her, and she gave him a questioning look. Spike ignored it. “So, what’d he find then?”

“As we suspected, the affects are quite real. And very strong in both vampires and humans. But no definite evidence that it is addictive.” Suddenly she realized how close Spike was to her, and what a deserted part of the cemetery they were in. He’d acted reasonably so far, but if he took her by surprise, the way Angelus tended to do, he could have his fangs at her throat in seconds. She had to stop trusting these vampires just because they had been intimate.

“You’re not addicted, Spike, are you?”

He cocked his head. “Tempted, yes. Addicted, no. For a vampire I’m quite good at dealing with unfulfilled desire. Comes from months of doing without while I wasted away recovering from an injury. So, if you’re asking if I want a taste, the answer’s yes. But I’m not going to try and take it by force.” If Buffy didn’t kill him, Angelus surely would.

“That’s a relief. I am going to tell Angelus that he’s got to stop drinking from me too. Maybe if we can manage that, we can salvage the relationship. If not, if that’s all it is, all it ever was…” She let the sentence drift off unfinished. Then she blushed, “I think I’m addicted to it too.”

“That right?” The chit was finally starting to see some sense. “No antidote then?”

“Not yet, no.”

“How do you think fang boy will take to your idea of weaning yourselves off it then, or you expecting him to quit it cold?”

“I don’t know. His reaction will help me decide what to do with him. I’m sure that it’s going to be hard. Believe me, I know.”

“He wants to keep you, you know.” He hadn’t meant to say it. It just came out.

“What?” The Slayer looked pale.

“He means to keep you. Both of us actually.” There it was. Now he’d see what the Slayer thought of the idea.

But she didn’t stop to consider the import of his words, the suggestion that it would be the three of them together. “How? He means to keep me how, Spike?”

“He wants you to choose it. To choose him.” He looked at her hopefully. “Us.”

“Oh God, Spike. He means to turn me. How could I be so blind? Of course that’s what he wants.”

She was shocked to hear Spike deny it. “No. Not necessarily. Not right away at any rate. When I say he wants you, I don’t mean for a night, a month or a year. We’re vampires – he wants to keep you with us forever. Eventually, that’ll mean turning you, yes. But by then you’ll want it.”

“I’ll never want it, Spike. Not if I was old or dying of cancer.” Spike figured that she was so undone by the thoughts of being turned that she hadn’t even noticed how Spike had included himself in that family picture. “You’ve banded together against me then?” Just how far could she trust Spike?

“It’s not like that, pet. Just looks like Angelus has slated Dru to be odd man out, what with you hating each other and all.”

“And how do you feel about that? I thought you loved her?”

Spike sighed and shook his head. “It looks like I have no choice in the matter.” That was another thing that bothered Spike about the arrangement. He didn’t appreciate Angelus calling all the shots. “I’ve loved Dru for over a hundred years. But apparently the feeling wasn’t mutual.” He looked Buffy in the eyes, “It’s not the same once you find that out.”

He had unwittingly summed up exactly how Buffy felt about Angelus. She thought that she loved him, but she was beginning to see more and more that it was just her misplaced feelings for Angel, amplified by the blood lust. Even if her own feelings for Angelus were real, Spike was right. It wasn’t the same unless the feeling was mutual.

Still she didn’t say any of that. Instead she asked him, “I thought you hated Angelus?”

“Well, apparently he doesn’t hate me as much as I thought. Claimed it was all an act, to keep me safe from the help.”

“Do you believe him?”

“Dunno. Don’t reckon it rightly matters. He’ll do what he damn well pleases with all of us, fuck-all what we want. He wants to keep me around for some reason, he will. The only alternative is to dust him.” Angelus gone wouldn’t necessarily give him back Drusilla’s love, but if he was the one who dusted their Sire, Dru would hate him forever.

“And what do you want, Spike?”

Spike wished that none of this had ever happened. That Angelus had never returned, and he could have gone on blissfully, ignorantly happy with his beloved Drusilla. Of course, that wasn’t an option, now was it? Instead of answering he turned the question back on her. “What is you want, Slayer?”

Her reply echoed his thoughts. “I wish this had never happened. That I still had Angel and had never even heard of Angelus. Given that that’s impossible, I just wish that things were more clear. That I knew how I felt about him, and how he felt about me. That I knew what was real, what was true. I could never let him turn me, but, I think… I could stay with him for a while. Slayers don’t usually live very long, I’m told, and I’m already overdue.” She had almost reconciled herself to a short life – but it didn’t mean she had to be unhappy while living it.

They stood in silence then for a long while. Finally, she reached for Spike’s hand and held his eyes with her own. “I can trust you, can’t I Spike? Will you promise me something?”

Unbidden, the thought came to him, ‘I’d promise you anything.’ But all he did was nod.

“Don’t let him turn me, Spike. When the time comes, don’t let him change me. Let me die. Even if I tell you later that I really want it, don’t believe me. I’d rather be dead.”

Spike could see in her eyes that she was serious. This was something she’d thought about. Something she was deathly afraid that she would have no control over. But she didn’t understand what his promise would mean. Once Spike made a promise, he kept it. There’d be no eternal life for her, even if she changed her mind later.

“Pet, you don’t know what you’re asking. You live long enough, if you stay with us, you might feel differently. In five years, twenty. That’s plenty of time to change your mind. But if you make me promise you this – it will never be. Ask only that if you don’t want it then, I’ll keep him from passing on the dark gift. That I’ll promise you Slayer, gladly.”

“No, Spike. I want what I said. I want you to promise that you’ll never, never allow me to be turned, even if I beg for it. I’m telling you now that this is what I want. And I want you to promise me.”

He searched her eyes then, and saw the resolve there. Slowly, he let go of her hand, and nodded again. “As you say then.”

Neither of them thought what it meant, what she had asked of him, or that he had agreed.

What has gone before: Set mid season two, Angelus takes advantage of Buffy’s emotional turmoil to initiate an intimate relationship based on mutual lust for sex and Buffy’s blood – a powerful aphrodisiac to both vampires and humans. Unable to control her own feelings, Buffy suspects that she has become addicted to both the blood and sex. Unable (or unwilling) to control her passions she lets Angelus manipulate her into various compromising positions, including forcing her to have sex with both of his childer. To her surprise, she finds Spike an unlikely ally, who will possibly help her rid herself of Angelus, if she can ever bring herself to break up with him. In the meantime, Angelus has come up with his own ideal – ridding himself of Dru and keeping both Buffy and Spike as his lovers. All he has to do is find a way to convince them.



Chapter 20: Dinner and a movie



A few nights later Buffy was still feeling the effects of her double withdrawal. She’d had no blood or Angelus for almost a week now, and it was becoming unbearable. She could only hope that Angelus was suffering as much as she was. Every day she asked Giles if he had found anything else out about her blood; how to counteract its affects. Although he was working on an answer, he didn’t have the sense of urgency about it that she would have liked – but she was too embarrassed to press him about it.

She was learning to deal. Slaying took the edge off. Most nights she hardly noticed the longing. Most nights she wasn’t even looking for him as she wandered up and down the streets of Sunnydale. She didn’t think about him at all tonight as she fixed her hair, put on her make up, and dressed for patrol. Nope, no thoughts of Angelus at all.

Buffy startled when her mother gave a perfunctory knock before entering her room. “Is there something you want to tell me, dear? About why you’ve been so upset lately?”

Trying to look completely clueless, Buffy just shook her head.

“Come on Buffy. You should be able to confide in me, just a little. I may be your mother, but I was young once too.” Still Buffy remained silent. “There’s a boy downstairs, Buffy. He brought us both flowers. Says he wants to apologize. You should have told me you had a boyfriend, Buffy. It would have made your being so moody much more understandable if I knew what you were going through. Maybe I could have given you some advice.”

“Mom! Please. It’s not like that,” she blushed.

“Well, it looks very much like that to me. And I think you need to go downstairs right now and listen to what he has to say. Make nice. But then I think you should break up with him, Buffy. He’s obviously too old for you. He’s likely to want things from you that you aren’t ready to give.”

“Mom, please! I’ll handle this my own way.”

“No, Buffy, you really won’t. He’s a nice young man, and maybe in a few years the age difference won’t matter so much. But right now, you need to let him take you out and talk, and you can explain to him that you need to take a break. He’ll understand, Buffy. And if he doesn’t, then I’ll talk to him. But you need to break it to him gently.”

“Gently, right.” Buffy started to brush past her mom and head downstairs, but Joyce stopped her.

“Not like that! He’s all dressed up and says he has reservations at Prima’s. You can’t go dressed like that.”

“Mom, you want me to break up with him, what does it matter what I wear?”

“It matters, Buffy. You need to learn that the right way to do things is not always the easy way. Now change into something suitable while I entertain our guest.”

Buffy had never changed so fast in her life. If she was right about who was downstairs, (and how could she be wrong?), she didn’t want to leave her mother alone with him for a second longer than she had to. The first dress that came to hand was a short white halter dress with a puffy skirt. It was maybe a little more provocative than was probably wise, but then she was in a hurry. A few gold bangles, the cross Angel had given her, and a few stakes secured where they weren’t visible and she was ready for anything.

An apparently penitent Angelus sat on the easy chair across from her mother in their living room. A bouquet of pink and yellow flowers sat in a vase on the coffee table, while another bouquet of red roses rested easily across his lap. Angelus rose as Buffy came down the stairs, then kissed her on the cheek as he handed her the flowers.

“I promise I’ll have her back before midnight, Mrs. Summers. I appreciate your helping me to convince Buffy to give me another chance. You’ve raised a terrific daughter, Mrs. Summers, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep us together. I believe that she’s worth waiting for. You should be very proud.”

Joyce beamed, obviously taken in by the act. Buffy rushed Angelus to the door.

As soon as they were outside, Buffy snapped at him. “Are you really planning on taking me to Prima’s, or was that just a line for my mother? I am so not getting into a car with you, or letting you take me back to that house of horrors you call your home. If my mom wasn’t watching out the window, I’d have half a mind to dust you right here.”

“That’s all right. I really do have reservations for us. But we can walk if it makes you feel more comfortable. And you don’t mean that Buffy. I believe what I said – you are worth waiting for. And I really did come to apologize. I should never have left you alone with Drusilla. I suspected that she might act the way she did, but I couldn’t know until I gave her the opportunity. Sometimes people surprise you, and so I try not to prejudge.”

“Right. And crazy people can so become sane overnight.”

“It was important, Buffy. I needed to know what she’d do if she was left alone with you. Until given the opportunity, I couldn’t be sure I was right. After all, Spike came through the same test with flying colors. Even when he found you alone with Dru. He could have joined in with her. Helped her torture and kill you, and then tried to either escape or blame it all on Drusilla. But he didn’t. Instead he found a way to rescue you. Now I know that you’ll always be safe around Spike, but Dru isn’t to be trusted. I’m planning to send her away, Buffy. Dru and the rest of the minions. So you’ll be safe in my house. Your safety is my highest concern.”

“And that’s why you let the evil bitch torture me? So I’d be safe?”

“I know it sounds a little convoluted. But I had to see what they would really do if given the chance. And it wasn’t for very long. Dru barely had a chance to touch you. Spike was much worse off. Dru worked him over for hours.”

Spike. She’d been grateful for what he’d done, and she thought that she had thanked him when the two of them had talked, but she couldn’t really remember. She hadn’t really thought about what it had cost him. He had pretended as if it was no big deal. But if what Angelus was saying was true, then it really was. Why would Spike do something like that?

Angelus was still talking. “If you’re not opposed, Buffy, I’d like to keep Spike with us. He’s proved he can be trusted, and once he’s completely healed, it will be useful to have him around. As he’s proven, Spike can be very resourceful. I’ve asked him to meet us here. So you can see if that suits you, get a feel for what it could be like. I know Spike can be very annoying, but he grows on you. If you decide you don’t want him around, I’ll send him off with Dru.”

Buffy kept silent as her mind was churning. This was all news to her.

Suddenly Angelus was telling her that he trusted Spike, and wanted to keep him nearby, while he sent all the others away. Asking her whether she felt that she could trust Spike. Be comfortable around him. And that was the problem. She did trust Spike, felt comfortable around him. It was Angelus’s presence she was questioning.

Misreading her hesitance, Angelus continued. “Look, I’ll admit I made some mistakes with my childer. Drusilla in particular. I admit that. But I’m trying to correct what I can, and to avoid making the same mistakes with you. I don’t want to make you insane. I want you just exactly the way you are.”

“Exactly?”

“Exactly.”

“Not as your childe? That is what you’re talking about, isn’t it?”

“NO, Buffy. Exactly the way you are. Heart beating, reflection having, alive, Buffy. I want you, Buffy. Just as you are.”

“You’ll swear to that?”

“Not as my childe. I swear it, Buffy.” What did words mean anyway? Besides, if he wanted to, there were a million ways he could get the same end result without actually doing the deed himself. But only as a last resort. Her blood was too precious to squander any of it before it was absolutely necessary. Who knew what would happen to it once she was turned?

As if she had read his mind, her next words were going to make his life more difficult.

“And I want you to stop drinking my blood. There’s something in it…it’s addictive, and makes us both go crazy…” She stopped walking and put her hand on his chest to halt his forward progress. “If you don’t agree, I don’t think I can see you anymore, Angelus. I need to know what’s real and what’s been induced by this insatiable craving. We won’t know that until we’re both over the addiction.”

“I know Slayer’s blood creates a strong reaction, Buffy, one that we’ve both enjoyed. But I’ve never heard that it was addictive. How can you be sure?” Again, her protests were mere words. He knew she would easily give in, given the right incentive. The lure of her blood was too strong for either of them to resist.

“Because I can feel it. It isn’t natural, the way I want you. The way the burning just won’t go away until I’ve tasted it.”

“Now you know how we feel all the time.” Buffy looked puzzled, so he elaborated. The pull of her Slayer’s blood was stronger – but the feeling wasn’t new. “It’s the way all vamps feel about blood. It’s why we kill for more than just food – and why it’s so difficult for us to stop killing. But we’ve done it, Spike and I. To keep you happy. Are you happy, Buffy? I want you to be.”

They’d reached the front of the restaurant now, the crowd of waiting diners filling the bar and spilling out onto the sidewalk. The throngs seamlessly parted allowing Angelus a clear path to the desk.

“Ah, Mr. Angelus.” The host returned his greeting. “I hope you are not disappointed, but the main dining room was crowded, so at the request of your friend, we have set up for your party in a separate room, upstairs. I’ll have Francine show you the way. Please, if there is anything else you desire, let us know.”

Prima’s was a fancy upscale restaurant, the best in Sunnydale. It was also attached to a fancy upscale hotel. Apparently Spike had booked them a room. Buffy balked.

“It’s just dinner, Buffy.” Angelus cajoled. “And I happen to agree with Spike. It’s far too crowded down here for a serious discussion.” It was true. The restaurant was completely full, with hordes of people standing around waiting. As she watched Buffy heard the maitre’d flat out turn people away.

“Spike’s here?”

“Yes. I thought the three of us should talk. Plan our future.”

The girl Francine smiled and called the elevator. While they waited she spoke, “We’ve set up the table, and delivered some appetizers and champagne. Dinner may take a while.”

If it was just Angelus she would have never agreed to be alone with him again. She felt relatively safe in a public place, where the odds in a fight were more or less even, but if it had been Angelus’ suggestion she go upstairs, she wouldn’t have done it. But Spike had promised to protect her. Even if she didn’t completely take Angelus at his word, Spike was there to keep him from siring her. And Angelus had agreed not to drink her blood. Hadn’t he?

Chapter 21: Party of Three

Sure enough, the hotel room had a table that was set up for dinner for three. Appetizers and drinks were already laid out. At least the room was a suite. They wouldn’t be eating with a bed looming over the table. It was discreetly hidden behind a half open wooden door.

“Took you long enough. You decide to take the scenic route?” Spike was still in his wheelchair. Buffy blinked but didn’t say anything. Spike apparently didn’t trust Angelus enough to let him know that he was already healed. Or perhaps he wasn’t? Perhaps Spike had been at the limit of his capabilities when she had seen him the other night, and had lied to Buffy instead? Either way, she wasn’t going to even allude to that conversation. What Spike told Angelus was none of her business.

“Took a bit of convincing.” Angelus shrugged. “Should I apologize for keeping you waiting?”

Spike didn’t appreciate Angelus’s sarcasm. “Not me you should be apologizing to. Restaurant was getting testy about holding the table, so we came up with a compromise. They should be bringing the food up eventually, if they don’t forget about us completely. Come on in, and let’s enjoy the drinks at least.”

As he gestured expansively towards the bar, Spike nearly knocked over one of the bottles. It was only then Buffy realized that Spike had started without them. He was already more than half drunk. Perhaps that was why he had chosen to remain in the wheelchair. If he was having trouble pouring them drinks, he would probably have trouble standing, no matter how well healed he was or wasn’t.

Spilling only a little, Spike handed Angelus a glass of amber liquid. Buffy shook her head when he tried to pass another to her. It smelled nasty.

“Champagne for our girl, Spike. Wouldn’t want the Slayer to get too tipsy.”

Spike just smirked and handed Buffy a different glass and watched as she discovered that she rather liked the taste. “Right. You two love birds patch everything up then?”

Uncomfortable standing while Spike was in the chair, Buffy found a seat on the sofa. Angelus refilled all their drinks, then took a seat beside her.

“I think we’ve reached another truce.” Angelus began. “An agreement we all can live with. Except the Slayer isn’t sure what she wants to do with you, Spike. She doesn’t know you the way that I do.”

Angelus had finished his whiskey again, and this time he moved the entire cart closer to the couch so they wouldn’t have to keep getting up to refill all their glasses. He noticed that Buffy had barely touched her second glass, and casually moved some appetizers, spicy wings and some fried onion things, from the dinner table onto the drinks cart so they lay within easy reach of both Buffy and Spike. Dutifully, Spike began to munch, and the Slayer followed suit. The onions were spicier than she had anticipated, and finding no water, Buffy settled for downing her champagne instead. Angelus smiled as he refilled her glass again.

“I’ve told Buffy what’s been on my mind. That I plan on sending Dru and the others away. I think she’s almost forgiven me for what happened between the two of them. I told her she should thank you for your part in her rescue.”

Spike was relieved at the implications of that statement. Buffy hadn’t told the poof that they’d already discussed it, or that he’d been standing upright at the time. That was good. Spike was liking this girl more and more. It was nice to know that she’d sometimes take his part against her honey. Or at least that she could be discreet.

Both vampires looked at Buffy expectantly, wondering if she would she really say it.

Buffy took another swallow of champagne. It was amazing how easily it went down. It didn’t seem like she was drinking at all.

When she looked directly at Spike it was as if Angelus disappeared from the room. “Thank you, Spike. I hadn’t really thought about what must have happened after I left that night. I…I wouldn’t have asked that of anyone. I’m glad that Drusilla will be gone.” She glanced over at Angelus, then back at Spike. “But I’d be grateful if you stayed in Sunnydale.” It was heartfelt. Angelus didn’t know it, but Buffy felt that Spike was her last line of defense. Of course she wanted him to stay in Sunnydale where he could step in and protect her from her lover if necessary.

There was something seriously wrong with that statement, but for the life of her she couldn’t figure it out just then, and that thought made her giggle. Maybe she had had more to drink than she had thought.

Angelus smiled. “That’s settled then. Let’s toast the three of us.” Angelus raised his glass, then drained it. The others followed suit. Pouring refills all around, he continued.

“Here’s the bad news, Spike. Slayer says we’re not to drink her blood. Shouldn’t be much of an imposition on you, Spike, though I know you’ve tasted it. But apparently it has some addictive qualities, so it may be hard on the Slayer and myself.” At Buffy’s blush and Spike’s stare he explained. “Buffy feels a craving for it too. I explained to her that’s what we feel all the time. We’re learning to live with it. Now she will have to also. There may be some backsliding now and again, but that’s to be expected. After all, no one can forgo chocolate cake forever, just have to learn not to eat it at every meal.”

He laid his hand on her thigh, moving the skirt up and out of the way as he brushed his fingers casually over her mound. “I’m hoping that I’ll be able to keep the Slayer distracted with other things.”

Buffy was blushing furiously. It was impossible that Spike had missed the gesture. And the vampires claimed to be able to smell her arousal. Spike would know that her blood was pulsing between her thighs. Angelus had made it abundantly clear what type of distraction he was talking about. It had been more than a week since they’d actually made love. Her eyes wandered to the half closed bedroom door and she licked her lips. She hadn’t expected Angelus to be so obvious with Spike just sitting there. Plus this frank discussion of her own craving for a taste of the aphrodisiac in her blood was only making it worse.

As if reading her mind, Angelus moved to stand behind Buffy, nuzzling her throat. “Spike, why don’t you go downstairs and check on the Slayer’s dinner?”

Spike began to protest that he could just as easily use the house phone, but one look in Angelus’s eyes stopped the words in his throat. He had known this was how it was going to be. Didn’t know why he thought it might be otherwise. He was just their errand boy. No better than a minion himself. Obedient for the moment, he rolled towards the door.

As soon as the door closed, Angelus pulled Buffy from the couch and into his arms, caressing her lips with his own. The kiss was soft, languorous, and left Buffy wanting more. “He’ll be gone for a while,” Angelus whispered. “Let’s go in the other room.”

Mumbling a reply, Angelus easily carried his Slayer and a second bottle of champagne into the next room. She was already tipsy, but perhaps not quite drunk enough for what he had in mind.

Slipping back into a slight brogue at the thought, he whispered in her ear as he lay her carefully on the bed. “I’ll not drink from ye lest ye say, but on ye…”

Undoing the halter top of her dress, he carefully poured a sliver of champagne between her breasts, then knelt over her to lap it up. Her first reaction was to sputter at the cold, then she gasped as his lips lapped up the liquid from her skin. Once he was sure he had licked up the last traces of champagne from her flesh, he filled his mouth with more directly from the bottle, then quickly covered the Slayer’s mouth with his own, letting the champagne spill from his lips to hers. The familiar action spurred the Slayer to swallow greedily, so he did it again and again, nearly humming as she moaned her pleasure and ground her body against his. So much for her protestations of not wanting to taste her own blood from his lips.

Suddenly seeming tired of the game, Angelus flipped her so that she was the one on top, and helping her remove her sodden dress, handed her the remnants of the second bottle of champagne. Without missing a beat she took one swig from it, then ripped open his shirt and poured the cool liquid onto his bare chest. Licking with kitten laps, she slowly moved lower, pouring the bubbling liquid, and lapping it up.

Caressing her eager form he moved around behind her and stroked the perfect globes of her ass as he removed her soaking panties. A quick glance at the clock showed him it was nearly ten already. He had promised the Slayer’s Mom that she’d be home by midnight. They were running out of time.

Nuzzling the scars on her throat while fingering her clit, Angelus waited until he heard her sigh before gently slipping into her from behind. No rough and tumble for his girl tonight. This was going to be long and slow, not hard and fast. He was going to make her beg for release.

Grinning, he finally heard the other sound he’d been waiting for. The rustle of carts through the suite door as Spike and the waiter returned with the main course. He waited until he heard the man leave, then called to Spike.

Angelus could tell that Spike was in a bad mood. This was going to be fun. “Close the door for me, will you Spike?”

Swearing lightly under his breath, Spike moved to comply, but Angelus’s words stopped him. “No, Spike. You’re to stay on this side – with us.”

Spike swallowed heavily as surprise was quickly replaced with anticipation. He swallowed again and licked his lips, staring at the couple intertwined on the bed. “You want me to watch?”

“No. I want you here.” Angelus’s voice was husky, and tinged just slightly with the Irish.

Wasting no time, Spike quickly threw his shirt over his head and rolled the chair closer until he could climb onto the bed. Angelus hadn’t specified, so he chose the side of the bed next to the Slayer. He unzipped himself, but getting the pants off without revealing the state of his injury to Angelus was going to be a bit of a problem.

Up close Spike could tell that the Slayer’s eyes were glassy and unfocused, but she remained unprotesting as he slid into bed next to her. The two of them lay on their sides, Angelus gently pumping into the Slayer from behind in a position sometimes known as the lazy man’s screw. It was a position Spike knew Angelus did not normally favor – it was far too gentle for his tastes, but it did leave Buffy in a position where she was facing Spike, her front totally exposed. Fondling the rosy peaks of her breasts, he fleetingly wondered if it was intentional.

Bending to his work, Spike noted that her skin tasted like champagne. Her eyes opened again briefly at this new sensation, and she smiled lazily at Spike, then let her eyes close in ecstasy as he took her pebbled teat into his mouth. Suckling at her breasts, he let his hands move lower, to where Buffy and his sire were intimately joined.

The Slayer writhed between their two male bodies, a long slow struggle towards climax. This position didn’t provide enough clitoral stimulation to allow for a quick culmination. Obligingly Spike caressed her pussy lips with his left hand, stroking her engorged nub with his fingers, and occasionally dipping lower where he could feel his sire’s length plunging in and out of her core. Glancing over Buffy’s shoulder’s and into his sire’s eyes, Spike knew what he was expected to do, and letting go of her breast he slid lower down the Slayer’s body.

As he neared his goal, Angelus tilted Buffy’s top leg back, opening her to his view. The sight of her was breath taking. Her pussy lips were pink and engorged, her clitoris firm and proud, and he could watch as his sire’s cock pumped gently into her from behind. Spike could read the promise in his sire’s actions. Another time, perhaps, and they would take her front and back between them. But she wasn’t ready for that yet. He knew what he was supposed to do now. Tonight was all about Buffy. Convincing her that two lovers was better than one. Spike was all for that.

With a last lick of his lips, used his hands to open her pussy wider and ran his tongue around the line where her hair disappeared and her core began. Leaving gentle nips and tugs against the sensitive flesh he slowly worked his way closer to her center. Buffy was becoming more frenzied now, her hands in his hair urging him onward. The sounds coming from her getting louder as she continued her struggle towards orgasm.

With just a little effort now he could slip his tongue in alongside his sire’s girth, stretching her just a little bit wider. Tasting Buffy’s cream and his sire’s precum was almost enough to bring him to completion, but Spike schooled himself to be patient, knowing that his turn would come later. They were both getting close now. He moved his eyes away from the erotic dance before him and turned his attention back to teasing the walls of her vulva. As he heard her breathing begin to quicken he stopped worrying her sides and slipped his lips over her clitoris, sucking hard at the little nub.

Just as she was about to come, Spike felt his sire’s hands tear his head away from her center. Eyes blazing yellow, Spike glared over Buffy’s hips at his sire, ready to reclaim his prize. But Angelus’s hand held him still another moment, and then he heard it.

“Please. Angelus, please,” she whimpered.

Still glaring back at Spike, Angelus whispered back to Buffy. “Tell me. Tell me what you want, Buffy.” He smirked. Over the past few weeks, she had begun to associate the feel of his fangs with her own release. “Tell me what you need.”

Buffy whimpered once or twice more before managing to squeeze out the words. “Please. Please, bite me.”

Neither vampire hesitated to comply.

Chapter 22: The Morning After the Night Before



Her body felt week and languid, and she groaned as sleep faded and she felt how sore she really was. Nevertheless, she hummed a little as she snuggled deeper into her pillow, trying to re-play the events of the night before in her memory. She was far too sated to want to move any time soon.

She remembered Angelus at her house with her Mom, and walking over to the restaurant/hotel. She even remembered some of the conversation with Spike. But she couldn’t quite figure out exactly how she had wound up in bed with BOTH of her vampire lovers.

At the time she hadn’t questioned it. In the light of day, the whole affair struck her as odd. Firstly, how had it come about? She couldn’t see a menage as something that she would instigate, no matter how tipsy she was. Then there was the fact that she hadn’t thought that Spike and Angelus were getting along that well – certainly not well enough for something like that, without any bitterness or complaint on either side. In fact, they had acted together smoothly, like a well-rehearsed team, never arguing or even discussing what was going to happen next. It had all just… flowed.

She struggled to recall the exact sequence of events, but everything was hazy. She remembered the feel of Angelus’s girth pumping into her from behind, and then the unexpected sensation of Spike simultaneously laving her core with his tongue. She wasn’t quite sure how such a thing was possible, or how they had managed to get into a position like that, but the sensation had been amazing. And when both vampires bit her… her orgasm had been overpowering.

She knew that she should have been angry, but she could clearly remember begging Angelus to do it. And the feeling it evoked, even now her body was wet and trembling just remembering it.

Unconsciously she moved her right hand to stroke the mark on her neck while the other sought out the puncture on her thigh. How could she ever have thought of denying herself something that felt so absolutely delicious? What real harm could there be in it? She was just fine, even though both of them had sipped from her. Neither of them had taken much. And it had felt divine.

She moaned into her pillow and got wet all over again just thinking about it. How she could even contemplate more sex as sore as she was…but it was a good sore. Unbidden, her hand slid from worrying the mark on her thigh to skid lightly over the nub of her clit. Rubbing gently she hoped that her Slayer healing would kick in soon. That she’d be as good as ever by dusk.

She decided that she would take a quick patrol first, and if she found neither Angelus nor Spike, she’d bury her pride and head straight for the mansion. She could only imagine their faces as she admitted how wrong she had been to try to withhold her precious blood from them. Gingerly, her fingers of her other hand began caressing the damp folds around her opening. She couldn’t even begin to imagine the creative ways her lovers would come up with to allow all three of them to be together.

Blushing into her sheets, she recalled that the night had not ended with that single mind-blowing orgasm. As her senses had begun to return, she had realized that she was now straddled over Spike’s prone form, his glistening bare cock still hard and needy. Belatedly she had realized that while both she and Angelus had climaxed, Spike apparently had not. His limpid blue eyes implored her to take pity on his dilemma, and although she would have sworn just a second ago that she was spent past all endurance, looking into his eyes renewed her desire. She heard him moan as her small soft hand took hold of his cock, and she felt her passion return. She licked her lips and gazed down at the still fragile form beneath her, while Angelus teased her breasts from behind. Slowly, Spike’s hands sought out her pussy, never once breaking contact with her eyes. Sensing the increase in her heartbeat, or perhaps scenting her reawakened interest, he allowed his fingers to slip inside her depths, while his thumb gently caressed her nub. A soft moan escaped her lips, and Spike gently pulled her up and positioned her over his long cock.

Sinking down part way over his long length, she paused for a second to allow her body to adjust to this new invasion. Her eyes were closed as she felt her neck tilted gently to the side so that cool lips could caress their mark. Opening her eyes she let her lips meet those of her other lover. She could still taste traces of her own blood on Angelus’s still stained lips. As the fire began to race through her veins, she impaled herself completely on Spike’s eager cock as it rushed up to meet her. Abandoning her lips, Angelus nipped and sucked greedily at her white shoulders while fondling her breasts.

Forcing the pair to slow their rhythm, Angelus moved his fingers downwards to tease and pull at her clit, while his fangs trailed light paths of blood down her back. Biting at her ass playfully he pushed her forward until her breasts were flat against Spike’s chest and held her there.

Re-opening the runnels he had just made down the slope of her shoulders, Angelus ran his teeth, tongue and hands further down her back, but this time he didn’t stop. Using his hands to pry apart the globes of her ass, she could feel his tongue rimming her delicate rose. The unexpected sensation had her pushing harder against Spike’s member, and she gasped as Angelus somehow he managed to push Spike’s unresisting legs up until they were hooked over her thighs, the angle of the penetration pushing Spike so deeply inside her it made her cry out. She could feel herself begin contracting on Spike’s rigid member as Angelus’s weight settled behind her and began to thrust as if he were the one buried inside her. The sensation was even more intense than the first, as she felt another orgasm begin to build.

Squeezed between the two strong male bodies she let the wave carry her over the top. This time she heard Spike and Angelus both cry out with her as she shouted her release. As she re-played the event in her mind, she felt another small orgasm pass through her, a mere shadow of what she had felt the night before.

Completely spent, when she had finally forced herself out of the bed, she had realized that she was ravenous. Before she had raced home she had wolfed down both the steak and seafood dinners that Spike had ordered for them. But besides the insatiable appetite, which still was not satisfied, she couldn’t point to any other ill affects from the loss of blood. It was the heavy pounding she had taken that made her thighs tender and her core ache.

Chapter 23: The Harsh Light of Day

Replete again she reluctantly roused herself out of bed and headed for a long overdue shower. She had been too exhausted to bother the night before as she had slipped through the door just barely past curfew. Thankfully, her mother had already been in her bedroom, although Buffy knew she had been awake since the light had not gone out until sometime after Buffy had climbed gratefully into her single bed.

Humming as she soaped the sweat from her body, Buffy decided that today she would begin her campaign to get her Mom to accept Angel as her boyfriend. Her Mom had already been impressed by Angel’s manners last night, as well as his offer to take Buffy to Primo’s. It wouldn’t take too much to convince Joyce that Angel was totally a good match for her daughter. After her Mom was squarely in the Angel camp, she’d begin to work on Giles. He would be more difficult to convince, but surely even he could be persuaded to see the advantages an alliance with Sunnydale’s strongest demon could bring them both. Perhaps she could even talk him into believing that Angel had been re-souled. It was going to be a wonderful day, and her plans for the night would make it even better.

While the cool embrace of her lovers was exquisite, it was still nice to come home to her own house where she could pretend to still be a child. In truth she hadn’t felt like a child since she’d been Called at the age of fifteen, but it was a nice fantasy. Now she also felt like an incredibly desirable and well-satisfied woman. It didn’t feel incongruous to slip from one daydream to another. She’d never live a normal life, get married, have children; but with two vampires fighting by her side, perhaps she’d have the chance to live long enough to be able to drink in a bar.

A few moments later her Mom’s rap on the bathroom door startled her from her day dreaming, but her offer of a hot breakfast before she left sounded too good to refuse. She could begin talking her Mom around by giving her a totally edited re-cap of the evening’s events. Thank God Angelus had somehow managed to get her back to the house almost on time. They would have to be careful to be sure that they were seen to be following her mother’s rules. As long as she convinced her Mom of that, she shouldn’t have any problems.

Of course her plans, like Spike’s, had a habit of going awry. Instead of a wonderful day of anticipation, the day turned out to be frustrating. Her Mom hadn’t been nearly as easy to convince as Buffy had hoped, still insisting that while Angel was certainly a nice enough boy, he was far too old for her daughter. Even worse, Giles had inconveniently finally located an un-invite spell, and had insisted that Buffy and Willow spend the day casting spells that would keep Angelus from entering their houses. Not wanting to give the reason for her lack of enthusiasm until she got a little farther along with her plan to rehabilitate Angel, she had reluctantly gone along with it.

An early patrol had proven just as frustrating. She hadn’t seen Spike or Angelus, and a stop by the mansion showed that it was presently deserted. As she returned home for dinner with Willow and her Mom, Buffy wondered where the vampires could possibly be. Spike at least should have been there. She wanted to ask him about his injury – she was a little afraid that she might have re-injured him with her enthusiasm last night. As she had re-played the evening in her mind she realized that he had avoided her gaze at the last moment, and while his expressive eyes expressed his deep pleasure as they reached their climax, she had caught a glimpse of something that might have been pain.

When the phone rang she hoped that it would be Spike or Angelus, telling her where and when to meet. She was completely unprepared for what she heard. Dropping the phone she let it dangle uselessly as she fell to the floor.

Everything had been going so perfectly. Her plan to pretend that Angel had been re-souled had seemed so flawless. But now it was all dust. This was something unforgivable. She knew it was selfish, but she didn’t know whether to feel worse for Giles or herself. The love of his life was dead, but it had finally fallen to her that she would have to dust hers.

Jenny Calendar’s brutal murder was a shock she couldn’t comprehend all at once. And that Angelus had been the one kill her…she’d lain in his arms only last night. Just minutes ago she had been planning to hurry through dinner so that she could search out her lovers. She had thought about how desperately she wanted to return to them all day… and now…now it was all over. Why would Angelus do something so horrible? So stupid? He had to know what Buffy’s reaction would be.

Looking back she realized that Ms. Calendar had been a true friend, even though she’d felt betrayed when she had found out who Jenny really was. Even so, Ms. Calendar had never told Giles about the awful night she had found Buffy chained to the bed in Angel’s old apartment. The guilt was unbearable. She could have prevented Jenny’s murder. She had had so many opportunities to kill Angelus. And what had she done instead? Let herself fall in love with a monster. It was sick, and she was thoroughly disgusted with herself. She had let herself be deceived by a few slick words and promises of love.

And Giles, Giles had sounded so broken. Ms. Calendar had been Giles’s girlfriend, and she was afraid that Giles wasn’t going to recover from this.

What was wrong with her lately? Had she really been so bewitched by blood and lust that she couldn’t tell the difference between Angel, the love of her life, and an evil soulless killer? Had she really believed that she could have rehabilitated two soulless vampires merely by the power of her love and the force of her will? She’d been played for a fool all along. Now she knew she’d have to face up to the truth – Angel was gone and she needed to move on with her life.

The best way to do that was to get rid of Angelus once and for all. Now she was hoping that she would run into him while on patrol for a completely different reason. She was kinda hoping that she’d find him and they could have it out once and for all. She would make him confess to killing Ms. Calendar, and then she would give him his long overdue dusting. Now that Jenny was dead, she couldn’t fool herself into believing that anything had been going on between her and the vampires that hadn’t been designed to control her. Angelus had never intended to live up to his part of the bargain. She had been played for a fool, and she was finally ready to do her duty. To kill him, or be killed herself. At this point, once again, she wasn’t sure that she cared which. She needed to get out of the house. She needed to go find something to kill.

Chapter 24: An inconvenient truth


As if in answer to her thoughts, Buffy could suddenly sense Angelus behind her in the cemetery. “Miss me, Lover?” he cooed. Could he possibly think that she didn’t know what he had done?

Her eyes glowed yellow with suppressed outrage. “How dare you? How could you do such an awful thing? I believed you when you said you wouldn’t kill! You’re not Angel. There is no part of Angel left in you, that you could do that to Ms. Calendar.”

Angelus shrugged, but took a step back nonetheless. “I didn’t drink from her. That’s what I promised Buffy, not to feed. I didn’t break my word to you.”

“God, you’re a monster. How could I ever have let you touch me!”

“You stopped complaining pretty quick as I remember it,” Angelus smirked. “Besides, B you’ve always known what I was. I never lied to you about that. Angel may have been a saint, not likely, but possible. But I’m not, and I never pretended to be. Besides, I only did it to protect you.”

He was circling her, staying just out of reach. Buffy was angry enough to kill, but confused by his reaction. He hadn’t even tried to deny it! He acted as if it was no big deal. As if he didn’t expect that she would be so upset about it.

“Buffy, she wasn’t what you thought she was. It was more than just coincidence that she was teaching at your school. That she met Giles, and they started dating. It was a set up from the beginning. She belonged to the gypsy tribe that cursed me. She would have betrayed us both had I let her live.”

“I know who she was,” Buffy spat. “And that doesn’t change the fact that she was my friend, and that you killed her.” Ms. Calendar can never forgive me now, Buffy thought. I never should have refused to accept her apology. If anyone should know, I should. Sometimes, we are who we are, and there is nothing we can do to change that. Just as I am the Slayer, and Angelus is Angelus…not Angel.

“Oh, so you trusted her anyway, is that it?” Angelus taunted. “Somehow I don’t think that was a good idea. Besides, there was another reason the gypsy was a danger to you, even if she wasn’t planning to betray you, which I doubt. She was putting it all together, Buffy. You, me, what’s been happening between us. She was there that first night – she was the one you called. I remember. She was going to figure it out, and then tell Giles what’s been going on behind his back.”

“So what? He should know! It was a mistake to try and hide it from him.” She had just spent the past few months hiding her relationship with Angelus and Spike from her Watcher. In hindsight she realized that may not have been the smartest plan. “Maybe he could have helped us, could’ve brought Angel back somehow. Could have cured us of this unholy addiction to my blood.” Why was she even talking to him? She should dust him and be done with it. He was evil through and through. There was no good left in him. But some of the things he was saying made an odd kind of sense.

“No.” He relaxed his fighting stance, and ran his hands through his hair before settling down on a tombstone. “Do you really think you’re the first, Buffy?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

At least she was listening now. But would she accept his judgment? She was nothing if not stubborn. “This attraction you felt towards Angel – feel towards me. Even I suppose, to a lesser extent, for Spike. You’re not the first Slayer to be drawn to the creatures you are trained to kill. Probably won’t be the last. Hell, maybe all Slayers feel it. I know vampires certainly do.”

“What are you talking about?” Buffy shook her head to clear it. She needed to stop listening to his lies and get on with the stakeage. “ Make it quick, so we can get on with the fighting to the death, already. I’m getting tired of hearing you try to rationalize away all the horrible things you’ve done.”

“What you feel, Buffy, what we feel, it’s not unnatural, is all I’m saying. Not even unusual, although the Council wants to make you believe it is. There’s a reason we’re drawn together. We are two halves of the same whole. We’re meant to be together. You’re like us. Slayers and vampires. Why else would you crave what I can do to you?”

Trying not to listen, she made a half-hearted feint at him with her stake, but he deflected it easily and held her close to him.

“Do you know what the Council does to Slayers who let themselves get too close to their prey? They kill them, Buffy. No excuses, no parole, no trial. They order the Watcher to do it – and if he refuses or is simply too slow about it, they send in a team to take care of them both. It’s happened before, B. When a Slayer and a vampire have been…intimate. And it wouldn’t have mattered to them whether it was Angel or Angelus, Buffy. They wouldn’t see the difference. Is that what you want, Buffy? For Giles to be forced to a choice like that?”

“Giles would never – he wouldn’t turn on me like that!”

“Who’s to say? But then the Council just would have killed you both. Probably him first – to make you more vulnerable. Hell, they might even have tried to bribe me into doing it for them if you proved too difficult to get rid of. Course they’d run the risk of my turning you instead. But you’d be easier to kill that way – you’ve seen how disoriented most fledges are. And vampires have so many vulnerabilities, once you know what they are. But one way or another, they’d have killed you and the Watcher both, for incompetence if nothing else. And if they knew you’d been turned, you’d be their top priority. Probably send the new Slayer after you, as a cautionary tale.”

“What have I done? God, what is wrong with me?” The stake was almost forgotten in her hand as Buffy sank to the ground.

Angelus moved to take her in his arms again. “Nothing that hasn’t been wrong with women since the beginning of time, Buffy. You’re in love. You let your emotions overrule your reason. Despite our differences, deep down, Angel and I are the same, B. We’d both do anything to protect you. Anything. Even murder.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Come on. You think that you know how Angel felt about you? If you understood just the barest hint of how much he loved you…” Angelus paused at momentary loss for words. He finally settled on the truth. “Well, it was enough that the emotion still lingers, affects my actions, even without the soul. He would have done anything for you, even if it damned the soul that he was so proud of. Is it so odd that I would feel the same way? Look what I’ve done for you already. Changed my entire unlife, my clan. Forced them to change the way they’ve lived for centuries. Because you asked me to. And that teacher; she was your enemy, Buffy, whether you choose to believe it or not. Even if she didn’t mean to be. Her mere existence was a threat to you.”

“I don’t want to hear this.” Buffy put her hands over her ears and stumbled towards the edge of the cemetery. She had to get away. She needed time to think. “I can’t hear this. Stay away from me. It’s over.” At the gates she turned back and faced him once more.

“Whatever this was between us, it’s over. Next time I see you, you’d better run, because I AM going to dust you. I should have done it a long time ago. This isn’t about me anymore. It’s about keeping other people safe. That’s my job. I am the SLAYER, and you are nothing but dust.”

“Well, you can try. But I wouldn’t be placing any bets just yet.”

Angelus knew that time was on his side. The longer Buffy kept herself away from him, the stronger the craving would become. She didn’t know it, but it wasn’t the blood she was addicted to, it was the feel of his fangs. Her watcher would never be able to come up with a cure, because he was looking for the wrong thing. All he had to do was wait for her to fall apart. After all, where else could she go?

“You won’t dust me. You can’t. I know that you’ll come back to me – and it won’t take long. I give it a week, tops. And you’ll be begging me to take you back. We belong together, Buffy – and nothing can change that.”

Chapter 25: Choosing Sides

Summary: Buffy talks to Spike

Almost to her house, Buffy could feel another vampire waiting for her in the shadows of the trees by the park. Spike.

Spike wasn’t Angelus. And if he was still feigning injury, then that probably meant he hadn’t had anything to do with Ms. Calendar’s death. But Buffy wasn’t too sure that Giles would see it that way. Right now Giles was liable to do anything, and she wanted to keep him as far away from her vampires as possible, until she made her own decision on what to do with them. If anyone was going to kill either of them, it was going to be her – and no one else.

Perhaps Spike could serve as her sounding board, help her separate truth from falsehood. He’d offered to help her dust Angelus before. Would he still be in favor of such an action, or would he try to talk her out of it?

They fell in walking together. Buffy didn’t say a word. She wanted to see what Spike had to say first.

“I had nothing to do with it, Slayer. Stupid Ponce still thinks I can’t even stand. Angelus had that bright idea all on his own.” Apparently it was obvious that Buffy knew what had happened, and that she was just about ready to kill someone over it.

“I’m sure he explained that he never broke his promise to you,” Spike defended his Sire. “It’s a point of pride with him, the arrogant bastard. He broke her neck, didn’t drink from her. And of course he was right – she was dangerous. Now he actually thinks you’ll accept his excuses.” Despite Angel’s tenure with a soul, Spike still thought he understood humans better than either Angel or Angelus. “You won’t though – will you?”

“She’s dead Spike. And whatever else she was, she was my friend. Whatever the terms of the deal, Angel should have known better. That he could never blatantly kill a human and expect to get away with it. Especially not one of my friends.” Buffy blushed and apologized, “That didn’t quite come out the way I meant it to. It wouldn’t matter who she was. He killed her, and didn’t even try to deny it. Didn’t even try to hide it. Even if she really was a threat, then he should have come to me! We might have been able to work something out. I don’t know, find a way to distract her, or get her to leave Sunnydale. She didn’t have to die Spike!”

“That’s as may be. But I can see his point. He’s not wrong; the gypsy was a danger to you. If I felt that you needed protection… well… Let’s just say I wouldn’t let anyone or anything threaten someone I love.” Almost shyly he let his glance linger on the Slayer. “I wouldn’t want to take any chances.”

“But it didn’t have to happen this way, Spike. Even if Ms. Calendar knew what was going on, even if she told Giles, they would never be a threat to me. It wouldn’t come to that.”

“Wouldn’t it, Pet? Care to bet your life on that?” Spike grabbed her arm and stopped Buffy from pacing, forced her to look him in the eyes. “Cause that’s what you’d be doing. Wouldn’t matter much what your Watcher did or didn’t do though, if the Council got wind of what’s been going on here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on. You think that they’re just gonna sit back and allow their precious Slayer to consort with the enemy? Even if they didn’t know the details, how far in your are, that you’ve been sleeping with us both… you’re tainted in their eyes. They don’t hold with Slayers who get too close to their work.”

“Angelus said something like that too. But how can you possibly know anything about how the Council would react? I admit that they wouldn’t be happy if they knew the whole truth, but what could they do about it? I’m the Slayer. They need me.”

“You’d be surprised at how much they don’t believe that.” Spike sat down on a nearby bench and pulled the Slayer down with him. “Listen, I’ll tell you a story, pet. I was stalking a pretty dark bird once, 20 – 30 years ago, back in New York. She was the best Slayer I’d come across, to that point at any rate.

“We’d fought two or three times, but neither of us was able to get the upper hand. Watcher had reported it, and they’d figured out who I was – knew I’d killed at least one other Slayer before.” Spike smiled in the dark, remembering. “That got them scared. And they don’t like being scared. They couldn’t understand why one or the other of us wasn’t dead. Why we kept coming to a stalemate. You know that’s not how things usually go. You slay or you get slain. End of story.

“Finally the Council of Wankers decided I must be playing games, trying to get the Slayer under thrall. Either that or else she just wasn’t a good enough fighter, was afraid of her calling. Either way, they had the same solution. Next time we fought, she was to make sure it was to the death. Hers or mine, they didn’t care. She’d either kill me, or else they’d do my job for me, and get themselves another Slayer.”

“You couldn’t know that.” Buffy couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

Spike pursed his lips and shook his head. Then he explained. “I was stalking her, yeah. I was there listening, outside the window, when the Watcher got his orders. Stupid git made the mistake of telling the girl the truth. Passed on the order. Next time we fought, it was to be to the finish. She was not to retreat until one or the other of us was dead.” Spike snorted. “Like what she really needed was motivation! I still think that’s what made the difference in the end. It tore her up inside, that they had so little faith in her. Midway through, she just gave up fighting.

“I never told anyone this, but I think she let me kill her. That’s why I didn’t drain her – I wanted them to know that I’d never bitten her – she wasn’t under any bloody thrall. She’d always done her best to kill me. She was a right good fighter, one of the best. She did right by that Council of Wankers, and they were the ones betrayed her in the end….Funny thing is, I can’t even do a thrall. Never had the patience to learn it. Not even with a bite. Bit too much like cheating for my taste. But the almighty Council didn’t care. Soon as one bird bites it, another one rises. So what’s it really matter to them?”

It was going to take more than a few minutes for the Slayer to process the Council’s duplicity. Instead she focused on the part that might relate directly to the here and now. What had already happened, rather than what might happen in the future.

When she did speak it was in a small voice. “Can Angelus do it? Is that’s what wrong with me? He’s got me in some kind of thrall?”

“If you were, you’d be the last to question it. Besides, it’s not his style either. He wants you to choose it, Buffy. To choose HIM. He wants you to choose it of your own free will. I’m sorry, luv, but this mess you’ve gotten yourself into, you’ve only yourself to blame. Which is not to say that he isn’t damn persuasive when he wants to be.”

“But the bloodlust. Let’s not forget that.”

“Not denying it’s a right good kick in the gut, but it can’t make you do things you don’t want to do. Besides, you let things progress awfully far the other night without even a drop. So what’s your excuse now?”

“It’s just different, somehow. I know you both now. And not just in the Biblical sense. I know you as people. And I am not in the habit of slaying people I know.” Some how it was different when it was personal. Like Ms. Calendar’s death. It shouldn’t matter that she was a friend, but it did. Buffy tried to smile, “Besides, it’s not like I’m turning evil, I’m helping you both learn to be good.”

Spike just looked at her.

Buffy sighed. “They’ll never believe that, will they? The Council. Certainly not now.” Buffy thought some more. “I should tell you to leave, to walk away. Only I don’t think that you would, and I’m not sure that I could let you go. I don’t want to have to kill you, Spike, but I really don’t see a good way for this to end.”

“You know your pillow talk could use some improvement, Slayer. If either of us wanted you dead, pet, you’d have been dead a long time ago. Could cut us some consideration for that at least.”

“That’s why I’d let you leave.”

“Umm.” He pulled the Slayer closer to him on the bench, and buried his nose it her hair. He loved the smell and feel of her hair. “Somehow I think you’re right. I don’t see Angelus ever willingly giving this up.”

She pulled away from his embrace and let her hand cup his face while she searched his crystal blue eyes. “And what about you, Spike? Would you leave if I asked you to? Could you leave me?” She had always thought of herself as in love with Angelus. She had never realized until now just how deeply her feelings for Spike ran. Briefly, she wondered if it was just her and Spike, whether they could find a way to make it work.

Spike considered the slip of a girl pressed up against him. His first thought was to say no, that he’d never willingly leave her. But as he thought about it, really thought about it for the first time, he considered. The consequences of their actions – what her Watcher would do, what the council would do, and the fact that he had already given his word that he wouldn’t let Angelus turn her- he couldn’t see any other way for this to end happily for her. He took her hand in his as he looked away.

“Yeah, pet,” he sighed. “If that’s what you wanted. If that was the only way to make this come out right for you. I’ll do what you want.” Damn, he didn’t want to walk away from her. He wanted to keep this girl forever, as his alone if she was willing to get rid of the Poof.

She held him tight. “God, Spike I don’t want to lose you.” His heart soared as she said the words, so close to what he longed to hear her say. But it turned to ash as she continued. “I don’t want to lose either of you.” Spike hoped she meant him and Giles, rather than the Poof, but it wasn’t clear. “I don’t know what else to do. If what you say is true… Giles, the Council. They’re sure to figure it out eventually. Just all of us still inhabiting the same town must be suspicious to the Council, if they’re at all like what you said. And after Angelus murdered Ms. Calendar, Giles is not gonna turn a blind eye to this. He’s gonna want revenge …”

Buffy sat up so suddenly her elbow hit Spike in the eye. “Giles doesn’t know about the mansion, but he does know that a bunch of you hole up in the old factory. He’ll go there. Oh, God, Spike! He’s gonna go after Angelus himself!”

How could she be so stupid? Without a backwards glance she sprinted away from the park, leaving Spike to wonder whether she was running to try to save her Watcher, or her lover.

Buffy could only hope that she would be in time to stop a confrontation. Giles at his best was no match for Angelus, and with the state he was in now… it was suicide. Her home was closest. From there she could get her Mom or Xander to drive her over to Giles’s apartment.

The short ride seemed to take forever. Hoping she wasn’t too late, she crossed the yellow tape and entered the flat, Xander, Willow and Cordelia at her heels. It was no good. The apartment was empty. Giles was gone. So were his weapons.

Chapter 26. The Beginning of the End

Author’s Note: Some dialogue taken (or slightly modified) directly from episode transcripts.

As swiftly as the Slayer had disappeared in the direction of house, Spike had sprinted back to the factory. Once again he had taken up his position in the hated wheelchair. It wouldn’t be long now before he would give up all pretense of needing it – one way or another. He didn’t know what difference he could possibly make at this point, but he needed to keep all his options open and see how this thing would play out.

“Are you insane?” he taunted his Sire. Angelus had acted like a stupid fledgling, and Spike didn’t care if he let him know it. “If you want to, kill the bitch. Don’t leave gag gifts in her friend’s beds!”

What Angelus had done made no sense. Killing the gypsy bird had been rash and foolish. It had ruined everything. Surely there must have been a better way to handle the schoolteacher. Her death didn’t get any of them what they wanted, and besides royally pissing off Buffy, it had focused the Watcher’s anger on them all. Even if the gypsy bitch had been going to restore Angelus’s soul, a fact that the vampires had deemed prudent to keep from Buffy, there must have been other ways to handle the situation. All Angelus had managed to do was insure that Buffy was now his enemy. Spike hoped that he had managed to keep himself in Buffy’s good graces – but that didn’t mean the Watcher would care.

After their chat in the cemetery Spike was almost certain that the Slayer would not target him in particular, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t suffer from collateral damage. The Watcher certainly wouldn’t be discriminating about whom he dusted. And Spike was vulnerable sitting in this damned wheelchair. But if he gave up the pretense, he’d have to show whose side he was really on. Hell, if he even defended himself against the Watcher’s attacks, Buffy could turn against him. Especially if he managed to actually kill the fragile human. Angelus had ruined everything.

No sooner had the idiot poof said that he had everything under control when all hell broke loose in the factory. A flaming brand through the window set the storeroom on fire, followed by an enraged Watcher wielding a flaming baseball bat.

Dru’s first instinct was to try to help Angelus, but Spike held her back. She was like a human child, and saw everything as a child.

“It’s not fair unless he tags you first,” Spike sing songed. It was enough to keep Dru by his side for the moment.

But Spike wasn’t about to sit around and let himself or Drusilla become another casualty to their Sire’s incredible arrogance. As far as he was concerned, Angelus deserved whatever he got. He and Dru would put as much distance between themselves and this folly as possible.

~ ~

Rushing headlong towards the factory, Buffy easily outdistanced Xander and the others. By the time she arrived, the building was already engulfed in flames. Setting her sights on Angelus, her anger flared and she barely noticed the unconscious Watcher she had raced to rescue. She had eyes only for Angelus.

Everything Angelus had ever said to her was a lie. Everything they had ever done together was worse than meaningless. She was at once ashamed, and mortified, and so enraged that she couldn’t even feel the heat from the flames. This evil monster had bewitched her, tricked her, and used her. He had never meant any of it.

Seeing her now, Angelus realized that he had never seen the Slayer really angry. He had underestimated her reaction, her attachment to the gypsy witch. In this state, the Slayer was a real threat to him right now. Looking down he noticed the unconscious Watcher.

“Are you gonna let your old man just burn?” Angelus sneered. If she cared for Jenny enough to invoke this kind of retribution, how much more attached she must be to the old man.

Looking back, Buffy finally saw what she should have noticed immediately. Giles was out cold, and the flames were getting closer. If she left him there, even for just a few moments while she went after Angelus, the Watcher would burn. There was no choice but to rescue her Giles. She would have to deal with Angelus later. The fire was an enemy to them all; the factory was a ruin. Not even the vampires could live there. Any remaining would have to move in with Spike and Dru at the mansion. She’d know where to find them when she was ready. Know where to find Angelus.

Stumbling out of the ruins, she held Giles to her. He was just beginning to regain consciousness. “Were you trying to get yourself killed? You can’t leave me. I can’t do this alone.” She knew she barely had the will to do it all. She needed the support of her friends and her Watcher, or she wasn’t going to get through this.

It was going to be hard to do what had to be done. She had allowed Angelus to live too long. She had allowed herself to get too close to him. Now she was going to have to pay for her mistakes.

As she tended her wounded Watcher, her anger cooled and her resolve hardened. Angelus had played her for a fool.

She was going to kill Angelus. There was no doubt about it. She would give Spike a few days grace to clear out, but then she was going to show them that she was serious. Regardless of their past together, she would kill Angelus for what he had done to Jenny Calendar.

For some stupid reason, she believed Spike when he said that he had had no part in Jenny Calendar’s murder. She still believed in his promise that he would never turn her or allow Angelus to do so. It didn’t make sense, but she trusted the bleached blonde vampire. She just wasn’t sure that Spike would have been able to keep his promises – Angelus had a way of making things work out just as he liked them.

That was going to change.

27. The End of the World as we Know It

(Some dialogue taken from episode transcripts)


Nothing had improved with morning. The factory was destroyed, and the vampires had to re-group at the mansion. Angelus was still beside himself with rage when Dru began her insane ranting again. Most of their minions, and the factory, had been burned to dust, or else run off. The sight of an enraged Slayer was too much for them to take. They had liked it when they thought that they had the upper hand. That Angelus could get the Slayer to do anything he wanted, accept anything he said. Now that his seemingly omnipotent power had ended, they had deserted him.

The Slayer had turned on him. She had threatened him! Attempted to kill him! Prudence told him that he should cut his losses and leave Sunnydale as well, before the Slayer came to his house hunting him. She surely knew where to find him. The only question was how long it would take her to come up with a plan. They both knew that their odds in any fair fight were only fifty/fifty. Not nearly good enough to bet one’s life on. Each of them would have to seek a way to stack the odds in their favor. But then Angelus had never been known for caution.

He still thought that the concept idea had been brilliant. For a few short months, Buffy had been HIS. That last night, he believed that he had finally convinced her to accept the world as he wanted it. It had been the best night of his life. If only that stupid Gypsy woman hadn’t been so close to restoring his soul and spoiling everything for him. Now it was all lost.

His remorse turned to anger as Dru’s ranting intruded into his brooding, “A tomb, with a surprise inside.” She was almost dancing, visions running inside her brain.

“You can see all that inside your head?” Angelus asked, impressed. Maybe his fickle childe wasn’t so worthless after all. Maybe she could see a way that he could still turn everything around and into his favor. Maybe there was a way that he could regain what he had lost. He’d do anything, if he could get her back.

“No, you ninny. She read it in the morning paper.”

Spike was more than annoyed. His Sire’s plans had turned to dust with the murder of the school teacher. The fact that it had inconvenienced him as well affect Angelus not at all. Why Angelus hadn’t been able to leave well enough alone he’d never understand.

Glancing at the headline, the fog that had descended around Angelus’s brain began to lift. “Something terrible, you say? The end of the world? Could be I could use one of those.”

His eyes narrowed as he considered. If Angelus was going to be denied possession of his Slayer, then the world could be damned, and the Slayer along with it! He smiled to himself. The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. The Judge had been an ill-considered plan, doomed to failure from the start. He had brought the thing to life for no other reason than it had made Drusilla happy. He hadn’t really cared one way or another if it really resulted in the end of the world. Things were different now. His plans lay in ashes around him, and the one thing he wanted above all others had slipped through his fingers. The end of the world was starting to look good to him. Especially if it caused Buffy pain.

And Acathla! Now there was a demon capable of bringing destruction on the scale that he wanted! They would all suffer, just as he would suffer without the Slayer. He had almost had paradise within his grasp, and now it was forever out of his reach. If he couldn’t have her as his own, well, he could still be a profound influence on her life. And he’d keep her alive as long as possible, just as he promised. Alive, and awake, and most especially aware. The demon in him liked that part. Yes, he’d keep her alive as long as he could, so he could savor her suffering, and add to it where he could.

~ ~

Angelus knew that he had made the right choice in keeping Dru when his childe easily dispatched the second Slayer – the one that wasn’t his. While he had distracted Buffy, the Watcher had been taken from his stronghold with barely a fight. Still, Angelus was almost disappointed that he hadn’t had a chance to use the chainsaw on the man, but then it hardly mattered. His darling Dru had tricked the Watcher into giving him the secret of awakening the stone demon. Then end of world was near.

Soon, all the humans, including Buffy, would know nothing but eternal torment as their entire world was sucked into hell. If Buffy wouldn’t accept him in her world, he would make a place for her in his.

True, awakening Acathla wouldn’t exactly make Buffy be his again, but at least he would have the consolation of watching her suffer in agony for daring to turn against him. And he was sure there were many ways that he could add just a little bit more mental anguish to the physical torture. That was, after all, his second best talent.

When the Slayer finally showed up at the mansion, bearing the weapons he had always before kept her from bringing, he was unconcerned. He had been waiting for her. He wanted her to see how events would unfold. Wanted her to know that there was nothing she could do to stop it. Her presence would just make the end that much sweeter.

As she walked into the mansion, Buffy still wasn’t completely convinced that Spike would back her. She was half convinced that he’d double cross her as his Sire had done. They’d met one last time when she’d been fleeing from the police who wanted to arrest her for Kendra’s murder. One last time he had offered to help her destroy Angelus.

This time he had given her a reason. One that she could believe. He wanted Dru back. Wanted his unlife to go back to the way it had been before he’d come to Sunnydale. She knew it was wrong of her, but it hurt to hear Spike say that. It hurt to know that they’d both only been using her. Somehow she had felt that Spike’s feelings, at least, had been sincere.

She had hit him then, and told him that she hated him.

“And I’m all you’ve got,” he had replied, and he had been right. Her beautiful fantasy of a long life at the side of two men who would protect her and love her had ironically crumbled to dust. None of it had ever been real. Neither of them was a man; they were both vampires.

Still, she’d felt sure enough of Spike that she had left him alone for a few moments with her Mom, and her trust hadn’t been misplaced. And Spike had volunteered the information about Giles being taken prisoner. On the other hand, he had casually offered to kill the cop that had tracked her down. It was all too confusing. In the final analysis, either Spike would help her against Angel, or he wouldn’t.

Either way, her plan was the same. Distract the vampires long enough that Xander could rescue Giles, dust as many as she could, and at all costs, keep Angelus from sending the world into hell. What happened after that was immaterial. This was the final ending, the last scene where she saved the world one final time. Then she could rest. She was ready to rest.

Chapter 28: End Game

Spike was nervous when the Slayer walked in to the mansion. He wasn’t sure how this was going to go down, whether or not Buffy had the stones to actually accomplish anything, or whether he would just be letting himself in for a whole world of trouble when things went south and Angelus killed her. Still, he kept his cool, sitting by placidly in his wheelchair until she made her move. Then the lure of getting some of his own back was too strong, and when the opportunity arose to get back at Angelus, he took it. Striking his Sire repeatedly with a crowbar allowed him to feel like a man for the first time in months.

Angelus had enjoyed tormenting him for months while he had been stuck in that bloody chair, prancing around with Dru and treating him like less than the dirt between his toes. And then he had the unmitigated gall to tell Spike that it had all been for his own good, all while dangling the possibility of the Slayer in front of him as if Spike’s affections were something his Sire could control.

Well, he had never fallen for it. Any of it. God it felt good to get some of his own back!

Despite his Sire’s machinations, Spike knew that his affections were firmly fixed on Dru. Always had been, and always would be.

If he kept telling himself that, he was sure to believe it sooner or later.

Dru was his destiny. Not some poxy Slayer who couldn’t tell her true love from a hole in the ground. Who was so easily fooled by the facile lies of his ponce of a Sire. Who accepted Spike as some kind of a consolation prize when her honey wasn’t around, or wasn’t man enough to satisfy her lusts.

If the Slayer were his he’d be damned if he’d share her with anyone. Stupid git didn’t know what he had, he had to throw it away with both hands. If Buffy had been his, he would never give her up for any reason. Without a soul or with one, Spike knew that he would love Buffy forever. If only she wanted him.

Now Angelus was going to get what he deserved, and Spike would take Drusilla away and try his damnedest to forget that any of this had ever happened. Forget that he had ever even met the Slayer.

All he had to do was convince Drusilla that things were better this way. Let alone the thought that he was going to have to convince himself. Staunchly he told himself that things were better this way. Better for all of them. Buffy didn’t need a vampire complicating her life. Making trouble between her and the Council. Besides, what was he to her anyway? Provided Angelus didn’t actually succeed and suck the world into hell, Buffy would barely even notice he was gone, she’d probably be mooning so hard over his bastard of a Sire. Spike didn’t think he could survive loving another woman who would never love him in return.

It was going to be bloody hard to win back Dru’s good graces, he thought, as he left his pitiful Sire slumped on the ground and struggled to subdue Drusilla. Dru had had no idea what the vampires had been up to behind her back, or that Angelus had planned to betray her. She’d never believe Spike even if he told her.

The Slayer was going to have to handle things on her own from here on out. Maybe she’d kill Angelus, or maybe he’d kill her. He staunchly told himself that he didn’t care. They had both used him. Neither of them had ever really cared for him at all. In that moment he wholeheartedly hoped that they’d both die, Buffy and Angelus. The world could be swallowed up by Acathla, or not, and he wouldn’t really care. He couldn’t feel any worse than he did now.

Spike looked over at Buffy and shrugged as he began to drag Drusilla’s prone body out of the hall and down to the garage. He didn’t care what the outcome of their fight was. Not one bit, until he noticed how she looked back at him.

Stunned, he tried to gauge whether the look on her face had been one of betrayal or not. Why would she feel that way? This was the bargain they had made after all. He had helped her surprise Angelus and free her Watcher. Now he was due his reward. He wasn’t about to change the plan now.

Barreling right through the garage door he gunned the motor of the old De Soto, trying to put as much distance between himself and this town as quickly as possible. He needed his life with Drusilla to get back to normal. He needed to forget. Whether the world ended or not, he needed to be someplace else. Someplace far away from Sunnydale and the memories it held.

~ ~

Buffy needed to forget. The past few months had been a nightmare, and this day had been the worst. She had tried not to be affected when Spike deserted her with his ho of a girlfriend, leaving her to fight Angelus on her own. She had tried not to let it crush her resolve when she had seen the change come over Angelus, and he had really and truly become Angel again.

As she rammed home the sword that would send him back to hell with Acathla, the guilt was overwhelming. All she could think was that he got what he deserved. After everything that he and his alter ego had put her through, she didn’t love him anymore.

She wasn’t a child anymore. She didn’t need a lover who thought his role was to guide and protect her as Angel had done, or who wanted to control and own her as Angelus had. She needed someone who could be her equal. Someone who would love her for who she was, not what she was. Someone who would respect her decisions, even if that decision was to leave Sunnydale and her role as the Slayer behind.

Let another girl be Called to take Kendra’s place. Let some one else defend the hellmouth. Or not. Buffy found she didn’t really care. Her mother had kicked her out of the house, and both men in her life had betrayed her. She was leaving Sunnydale.

Evil was everywhere, not just in one small town in California. She knew, she’d seen more than her fair share of it. She’d had enough. For now, she needed some time to be on her own. The pain was too fresh. She needed to forget. Now that the world was in no danger of ending, she needed to be someplace else. Someplace far away from Sunnydale and the memories it held.


End


Author’s note: There you are. We’ve come full circle. My thanks to those of you who kept with the story to the end, and especially those of you who left reviews (Please feel free to leave another one now. I wonder if the ending took you by surprise, and hope that it didn’t let you down too much.) I know some of you complimented me on such an original AU story. I never saw it that way. I think this is totally possibly and quite probably what really went on behind the scenes of the show we all saw. For you purists, the only thing I changed was the placement of the episode “Passions.” I think it makes more sense right before “Becoming.” Don’t you?