Hi all. I don’t really know why im writing this but I was listening to “Ghost of the Robots” song “Fire.” And it hit me, this song is so right for Buffy and Spike, so I thought I’d try writing a small piece to go along with it. Let me know what you thought.
Buffy was walking through the cemetery on one of her nightly patrols, thinking about a bleached blond vampire she couldn’t erase from her mind. She didn’t know why she kept using him or why he let her for that matter. After she’d been brought back it was only in his cold, dead arms that she felt the warmth she needed. But she didn’t need him. She didn’t even like him…..right? she asked herself. He always told her she wanted him and she always told him he was wrong, that their was no way she could love a monster.
***I’m driving in your car
Turn on the radio
You’re pulling me close
I just say no
I say I don’t like it
But you know I’m a liar
Cuz’ when we kiss
Mmmm, fire***
He never seemed to buy it though, he would just look at her with that infuriating smirk and let her do whatever she wanted to him. Whether it was insult him, beat him or fuck him, he always let her. And at the end of each encounter she would leave him, broken and alone. She always let him know she didn’t need him, that this would stop when she wanted it to. He’d told he loved her and she had shot it in his face. She had mocked him and hurt him. ‘You don’t have a soul Spike, you can’t love.’ She’d told him. But then why did she always go back? Was her body letting her know something her own mind couldn’t?
***Late at night
Your taking me home
You say you wanna stay
I say I wanna be alone
I swear I don’t love ya
But you know I’m a liar
Cuz’ when we kiss
Mmmm, fire***
Buffy thought back to the first time they had met in the alley off the Bronze. Even then something about the vampire had sparked something in her that even Angel couldn’t, raw passion. Sure she’d loved Angel with everything she’d had but it wasn’t passionate, it was needy and painful. Since then she hadn’t been able to bring herself to stake Spike, not after he’d brought that out in her.
***You got a hold on me
Right from the start
A grip so tight
I couldn’t tear it apart***
She had never opened her heart to Spike, hadn’t let him remotely in, he was evil. But she wanted to do just that despite the fact that he was soulless. She could feel his presence whenever he was around. Not the usual tingle she would get when she was close to just any demon, a special one. A Spike tingle. One that went all the way down her back and made her shiver.
***Nerves are jumping
Acting like a fool
Kisses that burn me
But my heart stays cool***
Even if she decided to let him in it would never last. It was a forbidden love. Just like her and Angels had been. Angel had loved her so much and still he had tried to kill her when he made with the happy. Buffy’s eyes widened. Spike had not once tried to hurt her since he’d told her he loved her, hadn’t said one cruel thing to her after she would walk away from him after using him to satisfy her needs. Angelus had jumped on the chance to rub that in her face, Angel had blamed it on the lack of his soul. But Spike had no soul. Was it possible that this soulless demon loved her more than Angel ever had with his soul?
***Romeo and Juliet
Samson and Delilah
Baby you can bet
Their love couldn’t be denied***
Buffy wasn’t looking where she was going and wasn’t paying attention to her slayer vibes because she was so lost in thought she ran into Spike, literally. She looked at him with sad eyes. He reached down to help her up and she surprised him by taking his hand and saying thank you.
“Well, I”ll see you around then pet.” He turned to walk away.
“Don’t go.” She cried and reached out for him.
“You always want me to leave luv, are you okay?” Spike said confused.
“I’m sorry William.”
‘oh god’ his dead heart clenched, she was ending it between them and he fought back tears. ‘she’s never called me that, made me too human to her.’
“For what?”he forced himself to ask in his most nonchalant voice.
“I was using you.”
“I know.” He whispered and looked down, if he wanted to leave with any pride intact she couldn’t see him cry, he wouldn’t let her, even though if his heart could beat right now it would break his chest….
“Why did you let me do those things to you?”
“Because you needed me too.” Was his simple reply.
“I cant do this anymore.” She decided then what she had to do, what she would finally let herself do.
****My words say split
But my words they lie
Cuz’ when we kiss****
Buffy leaned in and cupped his face, lifting it so that she could look into his eyes.
“I cant keep hurting you William.”
She could see the tears now glistening in his eyes and the way his shoulders slumped in defeat.
“But I can start loving you.”
He looked up shocked and disbelieving, she didn’t blame him.
“I’m not joking Spike, I mean it……”
Within a second he was holding her tightly in his arms as his mouth captured hers in a kiss that promised friendship, love, comfort and hope all at once.
****Mmmm Fire
Fire……….*****
Lol I don’t even like this but I figure it has a Buffy and Spike are in love ending so it can be too bad…….either way im sick off my ass and totally sleep dep’d so when I was listening to the song I was like “hey I should write something that kinda goes with this”
Anyways lol, hopefully im off to bed and if you review please be gentle, keep in mind I know this isn’t great work lol.
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!