This takes place after “The Body” and before “Forever.” This is just my version on how Spike found out about Joyce’s death. I was in the mood for something nice=)
Buffy was walking in the cemetery late at night. She had to get out because she couldn’t stay in that house anymore. Dawn was staying with Willow and Tara so at least she wouldn’t have to worry about her being alone. She wasn’t really in a slaying mood, but she figured it might make her feel better if she killed something. She was walking without a care in the world when she suddenly came across Spike’s crypt. She didn’t even realize that she was headed in that direction until she found herself in front of the crypt. She realized that she really wanted to talk to him and tell him about what happened. He has really changed recently since he developed feelings for her. Buffy told him that he couldn’t change and that it wasn’t possible for him to feel love, but she knew that it wasn’t true. She knew how much love Spike could feel, he wasn’t like other soulless vampires. She also knew that Spike liked Joyce and she felt that he deserved to know the truth. She didn’t want him to find out in another way. With that thought in mind, she took a deep breath before she walked over to the crypt. She decided to knock instead of barge in like she usually did, but she got no answer. She figured he might be in the lower level and decided to push the door open and let herself in. She was surprised at how gently she opened the door. When she was inside she looked around and didn’t see Spike anywhere. His TV was on so she figured he was here somewhere. She headed to the ladder and down to the lower level of the crypt when she found Spike asleep in his bed. She was surprised that he was sleeping at this hour and noticed that she never got to see him like this. He looked so young and vulnerable and she hated to think it, but he really did sleep like the dead. She was also grateful that he had his clothes on. She almost hated to disturb him, but she really wanted someone to talk to. She looked at him again and realized that she felt guilty. She felt guilty for all the things that she ever said to him when most of the times he was only trying to help her. Thinking about that and her mother was just too much for Buffy and she realized she couldn’t keep the tears in anymore. She started to cry and she guessed that Spike heard her because he woke up at that moment and looked at her. His features were soft when he saw that she was crying. He stood up and walked over to her with a concerned look on his face. “Buffy? What is it, love?” He wondered in a quiet tone and without even realizing what she was doing, Buffy wrapped her arms around him and cried into his chest. Spike was confused since she has never hugged him before and then wrapped his arms around her also. “It’s okay, pet. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.” She shook her head and looked up at him with the tears still coming down her face.
“No, it won’t be okay. It’ll never be okay.” She said softly and Spike was really starting to get worried. He grabbed her hand and led her to the bed where they both sat down. He looked at her face and wiped one of her tears away. He really hated to see her cry.
“What happened, Buffy? You can tell me.” Buffy looked at him and could tell how sincere he was. She took a deep breath before she answered him.
“My mom’s dead. I came home last night and found her on the couch.” Spike couldn’t believe it. He really liked Joyce. She was a good lady and a good mother and for Buffy to have to find the dead body of her mother had to be very hard for her. He looked at her face as he felt tears of his own form in his eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Buffy. Your mother was a wonderful woman. How did it happen?” He asked and she took another breath.
“She had an aneurysm. They said there was probably nothing I could have done, but I can’t help thinking that I could have done something if I got home a little sooner. Maybe I could have saved her.” She said sadly and Spike really felt for her.
“You can’t save everyone, love.” Buffy nodded and realized that he was right, but it didn’t hurt any less.
“At least she’s in a better place now.” Spike agreed and risked putting his arm around her. He was happy that she didn’t push him away.
“I know this isn’t much coming from me. I know that I’m a monster, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. If you ever need anything.” Buffy looked into his eyes and felt worse for the way she’s been treating him.
“If anyone’s a monster it’s me. I’m sorry for the things I said to you.” Spike shrugged.
“Don’t worry about it and you’re not a monster. Not even close.” Buffy gave a sad smile at what he said and thought about what she would do now.
“I don’t know what to do. I can hardly take care of myself. How am I going to take care of Dawn? I guess I’ll have to drop out of school and get an actual paying job.” She told him.
“I have some money saved up. I could help you out if you let me. You’re not alone, Buffy.” Buffy nodded and gave him a small smile.
“Yeah, I know.” She said quietly.
“What about your father?” Spike asked and Buffy was wondering where that question came from all of a sudden.
“I don’t know. I called and left a message with his secretary yesterday, but I haven’t heard anything from him yet. I have a feeling he won’t really be all that helpful.” Spike couldn’t believe that man didn’t want to be here for his daughters. I guess he couldn’t be that surprised about it. Buffy looked back at him and decided to change the subject. “We’re having the funeral tomorrow morning. I’m sorry it couldn’t be at night so you could be there. I figured during the day would be safer.” Spike felt touched that she actually would have wanted him there and gave her a smile.
“Yeah, it’s fine. I can always pay my respects when it gets dark.” He stated and she nodded.
“I think Angel is coming by when it gets dark also. He felt that he should be here.” Spike nodded also.
“Right, well I’ll just wait till after he leaves then.” Buffy smiled at him.
“That’s probably a good idea.” She couldn’t believe that talking to Spike was making her feel better. “I really don’t want to go home right now. Dawn’s staying the night at Willow and Tara’s and I really don’t feel like being in that house by myself.” She said as she looked at him and took a breath before she spoke again. “I was wondering if I could stay here tonight. I just really don’t want to be alone.” Spike seemed surprised that she wanted to say with him and all he could do was nod. She gave him a smile and then lay down in his bed. Spike still couldn’t believe that she was in his bed as he lay down next to her. They both just lay there not saying anything for a few minutes when Buffy broke the silence. “Spike, could you hold me?” She asked and Spike looked at her again seeming surprised. He nodded and then wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. She sighed and rested her head on his chest suddenly feeling very exhausted. Spike watched her and saw that she was starting to doze off. He brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her on the top of her head.
“Just rest, sweetheart. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He whispered to her as he got more comfortable. He knew he wouldn’t be getting any sleep that night. He really hoped that this wasn’t a dream and that he wouldn’t wake up alone. He just watched her as she slept, afraid of what tomorrow would bring.
The End
squawks
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!
05/18/17 04:16 am
pj! I remember wishing one of your stories would be finished seriously about a decade ago. Amazing. I just tried an old password I used to use and amazingly got in too. Memories!
pj
03/20/17 01:20 am
10 yrs later, i finally rem my username and password. Pari, you rock. Hope you are well.
Rabbit_moon1
12/23/16 01:12 pm
I donate every month. Please donate to keep this site up!
AudryDaluz1
10/06/16 08:34 am
Great post.
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:45 pm
And anyone else who loves this site, it's worth mentioning there's a nifty little "Donate" option just below the shout box here! ;)
Chrissel
08/31/16 03:43 pm
Just wanted to take a moment to thank Pari and all the mods for maintaining such a great site!